“Hey, Mom? I’m gonna go... studying with Aria,” Harlow hesitated, grabbing her keys.
“Alright, just make sure you’re back before nine. Amelia will get mad if you’re not there when she goes to bed,” her Mom laughed, “Sometimes I feel like she likes you more than she likes me.”
“I think she just likes our movie nights,” she said, closing the door. As she walked to the car, she became more and more anxious. By the time she was locking her seatbelt to her side, she felt as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders.
“I hope everything goes well,” she said to herself, sliding her key into the ignition. Since Jasper lived close by, it only took her ten minutes before she pulled into the driveway to his cabin-like house and saw a familiar face.
“Is that you, Harlow? I haven’t seen you for a whole week, and on most days, you practically live here. How have you been?” Jonathan laughed.
“I’m okay. Do you know where your son is? He... forgot something at the table last night when we went to this pizza place...” she lied.
“Maragato’s? Oh man, their pizza is literally perfection. And yeah, he’s probably where he usually is.”
“Mind if I go and get him?” she asked.
“Oh yeah, that’s fine. While you’re in there, would ya’ tell him that I’m gonna need his help with yardwork later? I really don’t want to clean up all of these leaves when they’re soaked next spring.”
“Alright, I’ll tell him. Thank you,” she smiled. Jonathan nodded his head and smiled back at her.
As soon as she got inside, she realized things were different. She couldn’t see Jasper in the other room watching cartoons in the other room, and his younger brother wasn’t wandering through the house, holding his favorite truck in his right hand. Strange.
She walked through the hall, forcing herself to gather up the courage to knock on Jasper’s door. Soon after she decided that she could do it, the door opened and both of them jumped back.
“Why are you here?” he retorted, trying not to sound suprised.
“We need to talk about what happened last night. We can’t just pretend that didn’t happen or anything,” she said, rubbing her arm.
“I don’t want to,” he said, obviously trying to sound tougher than he felt.
“Why not?” she asked, leaning her shoulder against the wall.
“I think that I’ll end up saying something that I don’t want to,” he admitted.
“What is that?”
“I don’t want you to get mad, but I kind of...” he trailed off, nervously biting the side of his lip. Harlow waited patiently, expecting him to break any second and say “I’m joking”. But he didn’t.
“I might have done something I wasn’t supposed to. But I was at a party and I was drunk... and I don’t want to make you hate me...” he trailed off again.
“What... what did you do?” she asked.
“I might have slept with... Jailene...”
As soon as the words she hoped not to hear fell out of his mouth, she struggled not to burst into tears.
“You said... you said that you didn’t have feelings for her anymore,” she stammered.
“I know, I don’t. I told you. I was drunk at Asher’s party and I woke up at 6 A.M. last week, laying on the couch next to Jailene... and I knew I did something that I would regret. Even when Asher woke up, also extremely hungover, said ‘How are the looovebirds?’ I didn’t mean to, Harlow, honestly,” he pleaded.
“Oh, aren’t you so kind? Apologizing for having sex with Jailene, how nice of you.” Harlow said, crossing her arms to keep her from doing something irrational, “That just makes me want to be with you forever, doesn’t it?”
“That’s all I can do,” he retorted, “I can’t turn back time.” Harlow dug her nails into the fleshy skin inside her arm.
“I can’t believe I wanted to be with you in the first place, you ignorant son of a bitch,” she slammed her hands on the table.
“I’m the ignorant one?” he stammered, looking for words to say, “You’re the one who refuses to have sex with me. YOU are the ignorant one,” he says, walking towards her.
“That doesn’t make any sense... and that has nothing to do with it...” she mumbles.
“Oh, then I guess our relationship doesn’t mean shit, either,” he laughed out of anger, throwing his hands in the air.
“You’re going to pull that on me again, Jasper?” she laughed, “I hope your next girlfriend doesn’t have to deal with this.”
“Name one thing, because I haven’t done ANYTHING to you,” he yelled, “You don’t even deserve me! You think you’re cute because you’re standing up for yourself, but it just makes you look pathetic.”
“What kind of boyfriend forces you to sleep with them?” she screamed, “What kind of boyfriend constantly picks fights with his girlfriend? What kind of person talks to anyone like you talk to me?”
“A smart one who needs to keep their psycho girlfriend under control. You don’t even deserve to live, Harlow. You screw everything up, and you make my life a living hell,” he said, “Just get out of here.”
“You... can’t tell people that...” she whispered.
“Oh really? You’re not my fucking Mom, Harlow. I can do whatever I want.”
“What if I did kill myself then, Jasper? Would you be proud of yourself when I do it?” she yelled. Jasper looked away from her and tensed up.
“I didn’t tell you to kill yourself,” he eventually mumbled.
“You did, you asshole,” she said, scared to utter the words.
“I’m sorry,” Jasper whispered, “I didn’t mean to make it go that far.”
“You obviously did. If you weren’t thinking about it, you wouldn’t have said it,” she said, not even bothering looking back at Jasper
“Don’t go,” he choked.
“Tell that to your new girlfriend,” she said, slamming the door behind her.
“Fuck,” he whispered, running outside to catch her before she left. As soon as Harlow saw him, she began to run. It was obvious that she didn’t want to speak to him under any condition.
“Harlow!” he yelled, catching up to her quickly.
“Go away,” she cried.
“No, listen, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what was running through my head. I didn’t mean to say that, honestly. If you killed yourself because of me... I don’t know what I’d do. They’d have to lock me up and kill me on the spot. I can’t lose you, Harlow.”
She stopped trying to unlock her car and turned around to look at him.
“I don’t want to be with you anymore. But do me a favor -- don’t EVER tell someone to kill themselves and DON’T have sex with other girls if you want to be in a relationship. I’m sorry, but I can’t just forgive you for something like that, although I’d like to. And I don’t want to hate you either, but sometimes you’re irrational,” she said as honestly as she could.
“Harlow, no. Please don’t go,” he pleaded, “You’re the only one I have left.” She thought about what he said for a moment and started her car.
“I’m sorry,” she said as she began to cry. She knew that she was as desperate as he was at one point, practically giving up everything she had for what she wanted, which was him.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. She winced at the desperation in his voice.
“Okay...” she managed.
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated.
“I understand, I do. I felt this way before,” she admitted.
“Does this mean...?” he hesitated.
“I don’t know,” she said, “But I don’t think I’ll let you go just yet.” Jasper smiled slightly, trying to make the redness in his cheeks disappear.
“Thank you,” he whispered.