➵ jimin
i slammed the door shut, calling out to my parents that i was home. even though i'd noticed both mum and dad's cars were in the drive, i got no response. "hello? eomma? appa? i'm home!"
i dropped my bag, walking into the kitchen to find an unfamiliar woman and my parents sitting around the table. i looked from my mother's teary, slightly angry face to the unfamiliar woman's.
"hello, jimin. my name is mrs. kim, and i'm here to take you to the airport."
her voice was calm and collected, which made me look back to my parents, who had their heads down, and were staring anywhere but at me. i took a step back, almost tripping over something behind me. turning around, i saw my biggest suitcase, nearly ready to explode because it was so full.
my mind flashed back to that night, a month ago, when i'd first overheard my parents fighting about me. was this the day i'd been dreading? my parents hadn't fought much recently so i had forgotten all about it, but it seemed my nightmare of a life was coming true.
"what's going on? eomma, why's my bag packed? talk to me, say something, please!" my voice cracked at the end of my sentence, and i grabbed hold of my mother's hands, only for her to slap me away.
mrs. kim gazed at me in sympathy, maybe pity, i didn't know or care.
my father was the one who spoke first. "jimin, you're leaving. we packed your bag, everything you need. mrs. kim here will take you."
"i don't get it," i shook my head. "are-are you kicking me out? what did i do?" and i always wished i'd never asked that question, so that i never had to hear my mother's response.
"you're a disappointment to us, jimin. you have no legitimate plans for the future, you...you want to be a songwriter! that's never going to make you successful! and you haven't applied to any colleges, well, your father and i just aren't putting up with it anymore," my mum sighed, covering her face with her hands.
"you're simply useless, jimin. your dreams will get you nowhere. and! of course you're gay! our eldest son, a disgrace to god, our family...will never even give us any grandchildren. just... don't come back, okay? there's no place for you here anymore."
tears pooled in my eyes as my heart felt like it had been ripped to shreds. mrs. kim stood up, laying a hand on my arm. "come on, dear, grab your bag and let's go."
i took a step towards her, shaky hand grasping my suitcase. i glanced back at my mother, my father, the two most important people in my life, who now couldn't meet my eyes. a tear slid down my cheek as i shook my head, still not believing this was actually happening.
how could my parents, the two people who i'd always trusted, just throw me out like some garbage?
my brother jihyun stood on the stairs, motionless as i walked by him, my head down.
i turned away and followed the woman outside to her compact little blue sedan, shoving my suitcase in the back. sitting down in the passenger seat, i couldn't help looking up at my childhood home, with sadness and desperation clawing at my empty stomach.
finally, i couldn't hold it in anymore. tears flowed freely down my face as i sobbed for the family i would never get back.