Chapter Three
Julian
The startled look on her face told him that she remembered him. That flash of recognition had his heart jolting to life. He couldn’t believe the woman that stood in front of him. It was her. The same blue eyes and the same blonde hair.
My Stephanie.
She stood there, frightened. He watched her blink and then swallowed hard. She bit her lip and took a deep breath in. He was stunned. The urge to touch her was consuming. He wanted to feel her skin under his fingertips to ensure the sight before him was real. That she was real.
* * *
“You have the most beautiful blonde hair I have ever seen. It’s this shade of gold that I swear never existed until I met you... it’s beautiful,” Julian complimented as he ran his fingers through her hair as she pressed her back into his chest.
“You have some weird obsession with my hair colour. What if I said it’s from a bottle?” Stephanie said as she placed her book on the sand.
“No, this kind of blonde is natural. No chemical can make it this beautiful,” he said as he kissed her bare shoulder, tasting the saltiness from the seawater.
“It’s just blonde, Julian. No need for the overgenerous comments,” Stephanie breathed out as he moved his lips up the curve of her neck and she placed her hand on his knee.
“Never dye your hair. It’s the first thing I noticed when I laid eyes on you, Blondie. You stood out to me, calling me. It’s the first thing that took my breath away and had me walking over to you.”
* * *
Julian blinked at the memory that flashed before him. Four years later and her hair colour was still as beautiful as ever. His eyes hadn’t been deceiving him. That glimpse of blonde he saw not too long ago was the woman he fell in love with on that white sand four years ago.
The fear that consumed her blue eyes had his jaw clenching. Her eyes were no longer joyful or happy. They were guarded like she had seen far more than she should have, had experienced more pain than was necessary.
She straightened her posture and held out her hand. “I’m Stevie. It’s lovely to meet you. Rob has said so much about you.”
Julian flinched at the sound of his brother’s name. Rob and his Stephanie had chemistry the realisation had Julian clenching his fists. She had been in Melbourne all these years. He ran and his brother got her.
He unclenched his fists at the name she called herself. It was off, wrong and unsuited for her. When she introduced herself all those years ago, she said her name with a slight hint of a French accent. Later into their week together, she spoke to him in the French language. It was only a sentence but it made his heart ache with a need for her. He’d never forget that one sentence.
“Stevie?” he breathed out, confused. He saw the slight wince but she composed herself quickly.
“Wait... what?” he said, looking over her. It was her, he’d never and couldn’t forget her. Not one moment together had she ever called herself ‘Stevie’.
He shook his head and noticed Clara had stepped next to him. He turned to look at her as her eyes looked back and forth between him and Stephanie.
“No. Your name’s Stephanie,” he said, shaking his head to her. Those blue eyes clouded and he knew she didn’t forget. Stephanie took a step back, startled.
“Oh my God,” he heard Clara breathe out.
Julian turned to see Clara’s face consume with shock. She looked back and forth between them shaking her head and blinking quickly.
“I’m starving and this cake is not helping,” Noel said as he stepped next to his wife.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Noel asked as he pushed past Julian and stood in front of Clara. Julian saw Clara go pale as she put it together.
“I... Julian and...” Clara’s eyes stared at Stephanie before she fainted, Noel just catching his bride in time.
“Jesus! Clara!” Noel said as he held her in his arms. Before Julian could process it all, Alex was by Clara’s side.
“What happened?” Alex frantically said. He helped Noel carry Clara to the nearest chair.
“Clara, come on, baby!” Noel said, shaking her.
“I’ll go get her a wet towel or something,” Alex said as he quickly went to the bar.
“I don’t think she’s eaten today. I haven’t seen her have anything but champagne,” Stephanie said as she crouched next to Clara.
Noel had his hands in Clara’s as he called her name. Julian stood next to Noel and noticed the fear in Noel’s eyes. He felt guilty for Clara fainting, possibly tainting her big day. Looking around, Julian saw the wedding stop around them as the guests whispered.
“It’s okay, folks. Fainting bride. It’s just the norm. Get back to your mingling and we’ll have that small finger food crap served soon for you,” Julian said out loud, drawing attention away from Noel and Clara.
Noel looked up at Julian and smiled. “Thanks, Julian. Do you know what happened? I was just a metre away... I don’t-“ Noel paused as he caught Julian staring at Stephanie.
Noel looked over at Stephanie and then back at Julian a few times. Noel closed his eyes and let his head fall back, sighing out.
“Son of a,” he breathed out as he opened his eyes and looked at his wife. Julian could tell that Noel had pieced it all together too.
“Please do not make a scene for Clara when she comes to. Let this be her day... our day. For our sakes can you have whatever this is later?” Julian noticed Stephanie flinch but she didn’t look his way instead her eyes focused on her best friend.
Before Julian could reply, Alex handed Noel a cold towel. Noel thanked his brother-in-law as he stood up and dabbed his wife’s forehead with it. After a few dabs, Clara stirred then mumbled before she opened her eyes.
“Noel?” Clara said hazily before she smiled at him.
Noel took the towel off her forehead, handing it to Julian before placing both hands on Clara’s cheeks. “Shit, Clara, you scared the hell out of me!”
“What hap-“ Clara paused, her eyebrows kitted.
Clara looked at Julian and shook her head before looking at her maid-of-honour. “Right in front of me all this time,” she breathed out before she started to sit up.
“What’s going on?” Alex asked. Noel stood up and helped Clara to her feet.
“Never mind, Alex. Mind helping me take Clara to the bridal suite? Give her some air before dinner and that is served.” Alex looked at everyone before he shrugged, taking Clara from Noel.
“Wait! NO!” Clara fought and Noel whispered in her ear. Sighing, she glared at Stephanie and then at Julian. He watched as Noel nodded at Alex and then turned to face him and Stephanie.
Noel scratched his head. “You both realise my wife just fainted at the realisation of you two.”
Julian placed the wet towel on the chair and raised his eyebrow at Noel. Before he could speak Stephanie cleared her throat.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Noel,” she stated. Julian looked at her, shocked at her revelation.
“Don’t need to convince me, Stevie. Take it outside. The both of you. I love you both but it’s my wedding, I really don’t need the drama right now. I just heard that Sarah was around. So I’m stressed! I’m trying my best to make my wife happy here. Can you both just not stress her out... further?”
Ignoring Noel, Julian turned to Stephanie. Only one name would reveal the truth to whether the woman in front of him was truly Stephanie.
“Blondie, it’s been a while,” he winked.
Stevie
Blondie.
There was no doubt about it. The man that stood in front of her was the man she gave her virginity to four years prior. That one nickname forced its way into her heart and made breathing falter. All her years running and he found her. Her links to Clara and Noel brought Julian walking back into her life. So much regret filled her entire body that she looked away.
In some form she regretted that night. Regretted that she walked away, regretted never saying goodbye and regretted giving a complete stranger the last ounce of control she had left in her life. She never had much control, her father controlled what steps she’d make in life and it suffocated her. Being with Julian all those summers ago, she was in control. She controlled that week, she controlled who she was and made decisions on her own accord. Giving him her virginity had been one of them.
Stevie closed her eyes and tried to forget about the aftermaths of what happened when she walked away. She tried to push away the flashbacks of London and her darker times. The times where Jarred had to save her. Times she had spent making up for and trying to make amends. Those days were days she wished she could forget. But coming back home, no amount of alcohol could make her forget.
Ignoring Julian, Stevie looked at the concern on Noel’s face. In some way, meeting Julian all over again had put a dent in Noel and Clara’s wedding, and for that she felt guilty. They both came so far that the idea that she was taking away from their day had her wincing.
“You better go see her, Stevie,” Noel suggested. He was giving her a way of escape, prolonging any explanation Julian undoubtedly wanted.
“I’m coming with you,” she heard Julian say. She didn’t turn around, scared to confess her dark secrets but they wouldn’t surface. They couldn’t.
“Not a good idea, Julian,” Noel said, shaking his head at him.
“The hell it’s not!” Julian retorted. Noel tensed and the irritated look on his face had Stevie turning to look at Julian. The hurt and betrayal in his eyes were directed at her and she deserved it. That one week together changed her life and he deserved a goodbye but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t watch him wake up and regret what they did.
“I’m going, Noel!” Julian fought, taking a step forward. Noel took a step forward too, putting his hands up.
“Let them talk. Come on, man. Don’t do this today. Please, it’s my wedding for Christ sakes.” The irritated look on Julian’s face didn’t disappear and Stevie knew what she had to do.
Taking a deep breath, she took a step in front of Julian, blocking Noel from him. Those light blue eyes looked down at her and she felt her heart shatter and whimper under his gaze. Julian reached up and surprisingly tucked her loose curl behind her ear.
“Say my name,” he softly said.
“You can’t come with me to see Clara. We can’t ruin their wedding,” she argued and Julian’s fingers ran through her blonde hair.
“Stephanie, say my name. I need to hear,” he whispered, forgetting Noel was there.
Her heart ached painfully at the vulnerability in his eyes. The playfulness she knew was no longer there and she knew she broke him. “If I say your name then we open a door I don’t want opened. Leave it, please. It was in the past.”
“Then I’m coming with you to see Clara,” he said, taking a step away from her and towards the exit. He left her there as he argued with Noel, Stevie already missing the touch of his fingers on her hair. It was familiar, just like back in Thailand.
She remembered each kiss and each laugh, each moment and the last breath of air she heard him breathe before she walked out of that villa door, leaving him behind.
“Blondie, you coming?” she heard him call. Stevie quickly blinked and noticed a tear escaping her. Quickly wiping it away, she breathed in deeply and turned around.
She saw his boyish grin and a sparkle in those eyes, that sparkle not hiding the hurt in those light blue eyes. Stevie noticed the stare from Noel before he exhaled and led them down the hall and towards the bridal suite.
“I can’t believe I’m held hostage here! It’s my wedding, Alex!” Stevie heard Clara shout.
“No! I don’t care what Noel said. I can’t-I can’t... It was in front of me all this time! I was there when Stevie told me and I always knew about Julian. How didn’t I put it together... how did I miss it?” Noel looked over to Stevie and she gave him a tight smile.
“Stevie never told you it was Julian?” Alex asked. Stevie could feel Julian’s eyes on her but she looked at the bridal suite door.
Clara let out a loud sigh. “No. Stevie has her secrets. There are things Stevie keeps a secret. The only thing she’s ever told me about her life is Thailand and vaguely, I might add.”
The guilt welled inside of Stevie. It was true, she kept her secrets to herself. Clara wasn’t the only one and she wouldn’t be the last. Secrets were kept so judgements were never made. Simple secrets like that she was French should have been said but one secret would cause more secrets to be revealed. And for Stevie, her darkest secrets involved the man that stood just near her.
“Don’t freak her out, okay?” Noel asked as he knocked on the door.
“No, sit, Clara! Let me get the door. You sit down and eat those crackers!” Alex said and then he opened the door a fraction. The concern on Alex’s face had Stevie brows furrowing.
“She’s going a little insane, just be careful,” Alex warned as he opened wide the door. Clara sat on the armchair near the window with a plate of crackers on her lap.
Clara turned her head and her eyes met Stevie’s. She let out a sigh and placed the crackers on the ground. Clara stood up and she looked at Stevie and then at Julian.
“Everybody out!” she instructed as she adjusted her veil. Stevie knew what was about to happen.
“Baby,” Noel tried to say but she shook her head.
“Do not ‘baby’ me. Just because I married you doesn’t mean you calm down with your words of endearment. Now, let me talk to Stevie alone, please. Then we can continue with what’s left of our wedding,” Clara said as she pursed her lips.
“You can’t talk about it without me. I am the other person that completes the story,” Julian said. Stevie didn’t turn to face him, she kept her eyes on Clara.
“Moors, get out of my bridal suite. You too, Alex. And Nolan Parker, you get your butt over here!” Stevie turned her head and watched a smile spread across Noel’s face. The relaxed look on Noel’s face told Stevie that Clara wasn’t as pissed as Stevie first thought.
Noel walked up to his bride and whispered in her ear. Clara let out a giggle before Noel kissed her. It was sweet and something Stevie was jealous of.
“Go easy on her, Clara,” Noel softly said before he gave her a chaste kiss. “I love you, baby.”
“And I love you, but please get these boys out. I just need to talk to Stevie alone,” Clara said as Noel swept her loose curl back into place.
Noel nodded and turned to face Stevie, Julian and Alex. “You all heard my wife, out.”
There was grumble from Julian. “The man gets married and he’s whipped. Where’d your balls go, Noel?”
Noel walked up to the Julian and placed his hands on Julian’s arms, turning him around to face the door. “Guess I never had any, Julian. Now out.”
After a few more grumbles, Julian, Alex and Noel left Stevie alone with Clara. Stevie looked down at her purple painted nails to avoid Clara’s gaze. The sounds of Clara’s heels making steps had Stevie looking up to her. Clara walked back to the armchair and picked up the plate of crackers off the floor.
“I should have had breakfast this morning. I was just excited to marry Noel, didn’t mean to faint. But you can imagine how overwhelming this all is,” Clara said as she bit into a cracker.
Stevie sighed and walked over to the armchair in front of Clara, sitting in it. She watched as Clara ate three more crackers and took a long sip of water from the glass that sat on the floor.
“Crackers?” Stevie asked and Clara looked up with a raised eyebrow.
“You’re not pregnant are you? That’s why you’re getting married so quickly. Shotgun wedding?”
Clara placed the glass back on the floor and let out a laugh. “I’m not pregnant. I was drinking today bit irresponsible if I was. The staff just gave it to me. Guess they just assume or something. Alright, stop stalling me, Stevie.”
Stevie leaned back into the chair and looked out the window to the golf course. Never in her life did she think she’d see Julian again. She thought when she walked away that was it. They’d never meet again. Little did she know that they had ties, that years later their best friends would get married.
“It’s Julian, isn’t it?” Clara said breaking through Stevie’s thoughts.
Stevie looked at the unsettled look on her best friend’s face. “Clara...“
“No tell me!” Clara pleaded.
Feeling the heavy burden suffocating her, Stevie knew it was time to let this one secret start to unravel. “Yes it is.”
Four years of secrets and for the first time Stevie’s heart felt lifted. Not all her secrets would be revealed. She couldn’t let those secrets be set free. She’d rather die then let them be known.
“When Julian came back from what I know now was Thailand, he changed, Stevie. He packed up and left. He didn’t tell anyone, not even me. I was closer to Julian than any of the Alex’s friends. You know Noel hated me but Julian was always kind and he was my friend. I’m not taking sides, I know your story and I know some of Julian’s. What happened hurt and changed you both. Just know that he’s moving back to Melbourne,” Clara revealed. Stevie froze and felt her lips part.
He’s moving back to Melbourne...
“He can’t move back...” Stevie breathed out.
“He told Noel and I just before. Stevie... I’m not going to be around. After my honeymoon...”
Stevie leant forward and gave Clara a smile. “I know. But you have your happily ever after, Clara. Don’t worry about me. Go live that happy life with Noel in Boston. I’m going to be okay. The guy I lost my virginity is back in my life... no big deal,” Stevie faked a worry-free shrug that she knew Clara didn’t buy.
“He’s not over what happened, Stevie. I know Julian. He’s not going to just let it go. He’s going to want answers and you’re... you’re going to have to be prepared for him.” Clara stood up and held her arms open for a hug. Stevie stood up and hugged Clara. Soon she wouldn’t have Clara in her life all the time. And Stevie held on tight, keeping the tears at bay. She knew her life was taking a new direction, one that was going to bring back the horrors of her past.
“I want to stay, Stevie,” Clara whispered in her ear. Stevie stepped out and gave her a smile.
“Don’t. You don’t have to do that. Don’t sacrifice your happiness to sort out my shit. This is between him and I. If you stay, I will never talk to you again and I am making sure Noel drags your ass to Boston.”
Clara paced before her and then stopped. “You call me. Any time and any day! I don’t care what time. I don’t give a crap the hour. You promise you’ll call me? I can’t go all the way to Boston and not worry about you and Julian. Just promise you’ll keep in touch with me. I’m here for you, Stevie. I’ll always be here. Just don’t forget that.”
“I told you, Clara, I’m okay. How about I give you a moment, finish your crackers and we’ll go celebrate the crap out of your wedding?”
The frown on Clara’s face disappeared and Stevie knew Clara remembered the importance of today. Stevie gave Clara a quick smile and walked towards the door. Turning around, she watched as Clara stared at her wedding ring and smiled at herself.
It was in that moment Stevie knew that whatever was going to happen, Clara Parker could never know the after events of her wedding. Clara’s life in Boston would not be spent worrying about the mess Stevie created four years prior.
Stevie opened the door and stepped out onto the hallway. She smiled at herself at her own personal mission. Closing the door behind her she felt a hand on her arm and then she was being dragged towards the clubhouse door. Looking up she noticed those blue eyes and she stopped and tried to pull her arm free.
“Let me go!” she fought.
“We are going to talk!” Julian argued. His grip tightened, he pushed the doors opened and dragged her out near the golf carts. Stevie pulled back her arm and she saw the torment in his arms.
“I have nothing to say to you,” she said rubbing her arm.
He shook his head at her. “I’ve been searching... I’ve been looking and I’ve been waiting! For four years, Stephanie. FOUR YEARS!” he yelled and Stevie stood back, feeling the golf cart against her back.
“Just stop!” she yelled.
“You left me, Stephanie! You left me!” he said, pointing at his chest.
“I’m not her! Okay, that girl... Thailand... I’m not her!” she said, trying to catch her breath. “... not anymore.”
“But you were! For one week you were mine. Don’t you care about what happened? Do you even think about me? About how special it all was?” the pleading had her defences breaking.
“I’m not her,” Stevie whispered.
“Yes,” he said, putting his hands on her cheeks, making sure she kept her eyes on him. “You are. You’re Stephanie, you’re my Stephanie. I know those eyes anywhere.” Stevie pulled her head away, not meeting his eyes.
“You have no idea who I am. I don’t know you!” she whispered.
“You’re lying. You know me. I know you! I know who you are. If I look at the back of your neck, is my initial still there? Is that ‘J’ still tattooed on the back of your neck?” She looked up to meet his eyes. His initial was still there but she didn’t want him to see it. His fingers trailed up the curve of her neck and he moved her curls away. The touch of his fingers made her heart race and her breathing heaved.
"j'aime ce moment avec toi. C'est la perfection,” he whispered, reciting each word perfectly. The words she whispered to him all those years ago strained her heart. She felt her eyes start to sting and she opened her mouth. The memories of Thailand were ones that couldn’t and wouldn’t leave her. She knew like she had four years ago, Julian Moors was a nuisance to her heart.
---
SURPRISE!
This post is all thanks to those who helped me out with my market research report. Thank you for filling out the survey and helping me with my assignment, especially to all the members of 'The Thirty-Eight Club'. If you want to join the facebook group, I have provided a link to the right in the 'external link'.
I'm not back from university yet, I'm just delivering a promise I made :)
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