I shivered in the corner of the small booth in the middle of Tiffinay's, my back sweaty against the leather of the seat.
Aliyah's voice was a faint, quiet chatter in my ear. My chest felt as if it were retracting, my skin crawled. It had only happened once before in my life, but I knew without any doubt that I was in the midst of a panic attack.
The three adults at the table didn't seem to notice my squirming, my quickening breaths, my shaking hands as I reached for the dewy glass of water.
When I was able to sooth my breathing back to normal, I lifted my head and met my Richard's intense stare.
I held his gaze for a few minutes, my mind wrapping itself around a solid reason for him staring at me so intensely. Finally, I lowered my eyes and stared at the cold mug of hot chocolate in front of me.
"What? What is it? Why do you keep looking at me?" my words cut into Aliyah and Anne's conversation, sending the entire table in a bout of silence. My grandfather curled his fingers around the handle on his coffee cup.
"You look so much like her." he whispered, a longing in his eyes. "My little girl."
Anne didn't look too pleased with her husband's confession, but her eyes soon fell on me for the first time since I'd come in a half hour ago.
She was beautiful; an elegance that couldn't be learned radiating off her. Every little thing, from her gentle way of speech to her mannerisms were elegant. Her hair was platinum blonde, making it difficult to distinguish her graying hair from her natural hair color.
"I remember the day you were born." Anne spoke to me directly for the first time, eyes everywhere but me. "I went to see you in the nursery while my daughter slept. My first grandbaby, I refused to believe I was a grandmother." she kept her eyes trained on the basket of breadsticks in the middle of the table.
"You were so small, no bigger than a bread loaf. My babies weren't ever as small as you were, I was terrified when I saw you. There was a ventilator next to yours as well, one that was holding your brother." my lips began to stick together as I tried to force them apart, Aliyah's hand taking mine under the table.
My grandmother brought her hand to her mouth and held it over for a moment before dropping it back on the table.
"None of my brothers-" I started, but the look in her eyes silenced me in seconds.
"You were both premature and he was so sick, Alexis. Your mother was scared when they explained it all. When you were released days later with my daughter, your brother was left in the hospital."
I wanted to throw up and cry at once, to throw my hands over my ears so I didn't have to hear Anne continue. No matter how hard I tried, my entire body remained stiff and I couldn't open my mouth and try to respond in any way.
"Evan never left the hospital." she shut her eyes, her lip quivering, "He never got to leave and experience the world. He still sits there, day after day, counting his days until his time is finally up. He wonders where his mother is too, Alexis. He wonders if he has any siblings out in the world with his mother." I bowed my head, feeling tears rising to the surface of my eyes.
"I'm a twin?" I could barely get the words out coherently.
"She left you with your father, then left us without so much as a goodbye. Because of your father. Your father ruined my daughter's life, he ruined my grandson's life, he ruined ours. There's no way in hell I'm going to allow him, or you, into my life again." she was staring at me bitterly, but the look began to fade when I lifted my head up and met her eyes.
"Emma was a twin as well." Richard spoke, as if he were the sledgehammer breaking the ice, "She has a sister, our little Ellie. That's how she met your father, actually, at some sort of twin convention in San Diego."
I started to grab at my purse on the ground, nudging Aliyah a little so she'd move out of the booth so I could run out.
"Annalise. I didn't invite you here to hurt my daughter. I invited you here in hopes it would give her some closure. You want your daughter back, don't you? You want to understand it all, I know. And you hate Jared, frankly I'm sure Alexis does as well. But you can't take your anger and bitterness out on an innocent sixteen year old girl caught in the crossfire. She's your granddaughter."
There it was, the elegant woman finally cracked under my stepmom's understanding eyes. Aliyah reached across the table and rested her hand on top of Anne's.
As the women shared a few words, Richard pulled out a folder and set it on the table. "This is Evan."
"What are the odds of having so many brothers?" I asked Aliyah, sniffling. She grabbed the folder and set it in my hands with a smile, eyes shining with encouragement.
"Considering that your brothers are all twins or triplets, it isn't as unusual as you may think. Especially since Ash, Mase and my boys are identical."
I ran my finger along Evan's name on the manila folder, mentally and physically preparing myself of what I would find when I opened it.
Would he look like me? Would he have the same hair and eyes? Would he have the same full lips that he would bite at when he was nervous?
Breathing in, I opened the flap of the folder and stared at the first picture in it blankly. No words could express the antagonizing feeling that spread through my chest seeing the photo.
It was a boy in a hospital, so many machines and tubes connected to him that I could hardly see his face. What I could see were the same blue eyes that stared back at me every time I stepped in front of the mirror. The same sharp jawline that Tobias had always said was incredibly model like. There was no doubt, even beneath all the hospital equipment, that the boy in the photo was my brother.
"What does he have?" Aliyah ran her manicured nail across the boy in the picture, a sad smile on her face.
"Leukemia. When he was born it wasn't that, but releasing him with such a weak immune system would have given hims something else eventually, so we kept him there." Aliyah slipped out of the booth for half a second, checking her phone. I took the gap as a chance to make a run for it and get out of here before my panic attack returned.
Sliding out of the booth quickly, I bolted for the door and ran out before Aliyah or my grandparents could shout out after me. My breath was hitching in my throat as I tried to move my shaky hands along my screen to call someone, anyone, on my contact list.
All I wanted was to go home and bury myself in blankets so I could wake up from this nightmare. I knew somewhere deep down that in the end this was all my fault.
If I hadn't taken what Aliyah's friend had said to heart and questioned it, I wouldn't have ever looked under my bed and found the box. I would have lived the rest of my life normally, believing that I shared the same mother as the triplets. I would be having an awesome summer, one without a huge mess like this.
When I brought the phone to my ear on the second ring, I felt a sob break the surface and the only thing I could do when my brother answered the phone was cry.
*
Lucas used to take us to a small orchard outside of town when we were younger and Dad didn't come home for the night. He liked to challenge with gathering apples and bringing them back to him before the sun went down.
When we pulled into the familiar spot, all I wanted was to do was slam my head against the dashboard repeatedly in anger and guilt.
"It's my fault." I broke the silence with a whimper, "All of it, this whole mess. I could have had a normal summer, could have spent it traveling California with Toby. But I had to be stupid and act without a filter. I had to-"
"Alex."
"I had to hurt Aliyah and you. I had to find out that my father hated me and thought I was a mistake. I had to find out that my mother dropped off the face of the Earth. That I have a twin brother laying in a hospital bed and crying himself to sleep as we speak." I went on.
"Alexis."
"It's my fault. I ruined my own life. I ruined all of yours and-"
"Alexis!" my brother took my face in his hand and shut my mouth, his eyes dangerously dark.
"Absolutely none of this would have happened if our father had told you at a young age. You would know about your mother and this wouldn't all be such a shock. None of it, absolutely nothing you did was wrong in any way. You were curious and you had every right to be. I'm sorry that it feels like the world is crashing down on you right now, Lex, and I wish that I could take some of it from your shoulders and throw it on mine." Lucas whispered, pushing my wet hair off my cheeks with his free hand. I shut my eyes and leaned into his touch, shaking my head.
"I just want it all to stop, Luke. I don't want to be a walking soap opera anymore. I just want to go back to our normal life before this summer." I could barely get the words out through my dry and raw throat.
Luke hugged me against his chest and sighed, "Were we ever really that normal though, Alex?"
*
After spending over two hours in the car out at the orchard, Luke concluded I had calmed down enough to take me back to the house. He kept his arm draped over my shoulder as we stepped into the house, greeted by Jace and Grffin on the couch, both of them looking exhausted.
"Where the hell were you?" Jace shot up, eyes on Luke, "Aliyah came home an hour ago to pick up the boys so they could try and find you. What happened?"
Despite every word being directed at me, Jason kept his eyes on Lucas until I sniffled and shut the door behind me.
"You've been crying." Griffin stated from the couch behind Jace.
"Thanks for the confirmation, Captain Obvious." I muttered, wiping at my cheeks. I had seen my reflection in the car, I looked like a clown that had been dunked under water.
"Come on, I'll take you upstairs." Griffin offered his hand. After a quick glance at my fighting brothers, I took it and let him lead me up the steps. He stopped in front of my shut door, eyes roaming my face, "Are you okay?"
"No." I answered honestly, staring at him through my lashes. He offered a tight, bitter smile. When I turned to open the door, I felt Griffin's hand catch my forearm. He spun me around and pulled me against his white shirt before I could stop him, my mascara rubbing against it.
"Griffin-" I started. He rested his chin on my head and sighed.
"I know." was all he whispered.
Instead of breaking away and going to bed, I allowed my emotions to get the best of me for once and dug my nails into his back, dreading the moment I knew I'd have to let go.
***AN***
Hope you guys enjoyed!
How do you feel about Alex and how she's handling everything?
Let me know what you thought!
~ChasingMadness24