Last Time On SGBDABN: But it wasn't long after my release that I was swallowed into darkness.
I really hoped I'm not dead.
Dear Journal,
I couldn't hear much, only a loud whine. As I opened my eyes and looked around there was destruction everywhere I looked. At first, I was disoriented and my whole body ached.
But I eventually got up all the way. The whole building was demolished, and the ruble was scattered everywhere. I wiped my face of the dirt and dust and stood up. That's when I saw him.
Sean was lying face down in the dirt. I rushed over to his side and squatted down. He was being crushed by a piece of wall. I tried to lift it off him but, there was no use. I checked his pulse and let out a sigh of relief, it was there but faint. I heard the sirens getting louder and louder.
I sat down next to him and rested his head on my lap. I pushed a strand of his dark brown hair out of his face. He looked so peaceful just laying there it was almost eerie.
My heart felt like it was being ripped out of my heart. I was useless at this exact moment. I had never felt this broken and empty ever in my life. This was all my fault, I was the one that suggested he become an agent in the first place. I was reason he ran back into a crumbling building. If it wasn't for me he would be safe with the rest of our friends.
I just stared at him, he was still and looked so vulnerable.
Everyone I have ever loved has been put in danger. Now Sean was so close to death because of me. Then when I was about to have a meltdown, his eyes fluttered a bit.
"Thea" he whispered
"Sean" I said stroking his forehead "You're going to be okay, alright, the ambulance is coming and they are going to get this piece of concrete off of you and you're going to survive"
"Thea, I need to tell you something........." he started
The paramedic had gotten here, the sirens nearly deafening me. Police, firefighters, and paramedics all arrived. I brushed dirt off Sean's face and rushed over to them.
"My boyfriend, he's being crushed by a piece of wall. You have to save him" I said swallowing the lump in my throat.
"What exactly happened here" one of the policeman asked
"There was an explosion. I can't go into detail because it is federal classified information, but there are other people in the destruction" I said fast again
"Okay it looks like this piece of concrete is crushing him and once we lift it off him we will have to rush to the hospital because the pressure will be off his body will be out of shock and go into critical condition. So, if you need to say anything to him go and say it now" the paramedic said
"Okay, thank you so much" I said as I jogged to Sean "How are you feeling" I said as I sat down next to him.
"Oh, you know, like a million bucks" he said with a chuckle but started to cough instead. It broke another piece of my heart off seeing him like this.
"Be careful there" I said with what I hoped was a comforting smile
"What's wrong, you look like a constipated goat" he said with a smile
"That bad?" I said my face dropping
"Yeah it's that bad. Now tell me what's wrong" he said
"Okay, fine" I said with a sigh "The paramedics said as soon as they lift this boulder off of you will immediately go into critical condition"
A small tear fell down his face "Well then I have to tell you something" he said as I used my thumb to wipe his tear
"No, we are not doing this. You are going to make it out of this and we are going to be happy" I said choking a sob
"Thea listen to me. If I don't make it out of this, I want you to know that I love you. I'm in love with you" he said, and I felt the hot tears fall down my face "And if I die I'm leaving my trust fund with you"
"What trust fund?" I asked wiping my face
"Well before my father died he left me a trust fund of one hundred billion dollars it was stupid and unnecessary, so I never touched it only to my for my tuition at the school" he said and I felt my eyes bulge.
"I don't want your money. I'm not a gold digger" I assured him with a smile.
"I know you aren't but, I hate to say this, but I might not make it and you need support" he said and I felt my heart swell "One more thing, reach into my shirt pocket"
I let go of his free hand and dug into his pocket. I gasped at the content inside his shirt pocket. It was a small black box.
"Sean Oh my god" I said smiling as far as I could.
"Just hand me the goddamned thing" he said with a chuckle. I watched as he opened the box with one hand. I examined the ring, it was beautiful. The base color was black and there were small diamonds surrounding a larger diamond. There were also two medium sized blue sapphires on the side.
"Thea Marie Sanchez would you make me the happiest man to ever or has ever lived and marry me?" he said.
"Of course, I would" I said as I crashed my lips into his. I wished that we cold stay like that forever, but soon reality kicked back it.
"You have to go now" one of the paramedics said from behind me.
"I love you" I said as someone pulled me from him. I felt more and more tears spill down my face. About 15 firemen and policemen gathered around the piece of concrete. They lifted the wall off him and paramedics pulled him out.
Suddenly Sean began to cough up blood. They put an oxygen mask on and loaded him into ambulance then rushed off. It felt like the world around me was crumbling, like the it was caving in leaving me alone.
"Wait" I cried out before I fell to the ground as I drowned in sadness and my body rocked with my sobs.
"Thea" I heard someone yell. Chloe, James, Ally, Freddy, and Jax filed out of the car and rushed to me.
"Honey it's going to be okay" Chloe said as she cradled me and I sobbed into her shoulder.
"How do you know that? How do you know that Sean won't be taken to that hospital and just die? That he'll want to be with his mother and leave me here, heartbroken" I cry into her shoulder
"Because he loves you" she whispered
Once we got to the hospital they made us wait in this god-awful waiting room. I was impatient, they wouldn't give us any information on his condition. I must have drunk at least 10 cups of coffee just thinking and waiting. I paced around the whole hospital and once I even almost beat up a doctor. My friends tried talking to me to calm me down, but it was no use, I was trapped in my own thoughts.
I had this terrible feeling in my heart like a knife was in my chest and twisting it slowly but enough for me to be in so much pain. I couldn't help but think the worst and wanted to just rush in to see what happened to Sean.
After a couple of hours, a doctor finally came in and everyone stood up and gathered around her. She had the look that flight attendants have when your flight is cancelled, and they can't do anything.
"Doctor Yama is Sean okay" Jax asked
"Well it's not good to be truthful. The piece of concrete that fell on him did a substantial amount of damage to his body. Sean fractured his left tibia-fibula and femur. We had a set of X-rays done during his initial trauma workup, in the ED, revealed multiple left rib fractures, a large hemopneumothorax, and a left vertical shear fracture of the pelvis." She paused
This sounded really bad.
"Soon after he went into a sudden cardiac arrest and we had to preform CPR. After our surgeons repaired a splenic laceration and stabilized his pelvis, femur, and tibia. Although after the surgery did no brain damage the mix of when he went into cardiac arrest and the head damage he got from his injury he is in an unresponsive state" she said.
"What?" Chloe asked puzzled
"He is in a coma and brain activity is very low. We don't know if he will wake up" and the knife in my heart just dug deeper in my chest and killed me.
Sean Henry Kingsley was in a coma. The person that I loved most in this world was in a coma and they weren't sure if he would wake up. I felt numb like this wasn't real, like this was some sort of nightmare I wouldn't wake up from. I felt the tears well up inside of me and start to fall freely down my face.
"Thea......Thea would you like to see him" I heard the doctor say I felt my self-nod my head as I stood up and followed her down the white hallways. This didn't feel real I felt like I was in a dream like state and I was just floating around. The nurses and doctors watched me with pity and I hated it. I looked down at my feet and watched as the tears fell and my shoes squeaked.
We went through these double doors, that I assumed lead to the ICU because this is where things get gloomy. Some rooms were entire families bawling their eyes out and doctors giving CPR. I even saw once someone die right there. There was the occasional person who had just recovered but not much.
"This is it" she said as we stopped in front of his door. I suddenly felt sick and didn't want to be here.
"Could I go to the bathroom quickly, to freshen up" I said quietly still not looking up.
"Sure, sweetie it's the third door on your left" Dr. Yama said
I scurried away and barged into the bathroom. I checked under the stalls to make sure they were empty and then locked the door. I went to the big stall and threw up, all the Twinkies and coffee I had before just came up uncontrollably. I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet. I went to the sink and looked at myself.
I looked like trash.
Plain and simple. My hair was frizzed mess and dirt from the wreckage before was smeared on my face, throw up was on the side of my cheek, and my eyes were bloodshot. I gargled some water, and spit it out. I washed my face and patted down my hair before I stepped out again.
The doctor was still waiting for me at the door.
"Are you ready to see Sean?" she said I nodded as I swallowed the lump in my throat. She opened the door wide and I closed my eyes. "Honey, open your eyes"
I slowly opened my eyes and I held back my tears as I saw Sean. He was laying in the hospital half sitting up. He had monitors all hooked up to him and cords coming out of his veins.
"We don't know if he can hear anything or even process what's going on but lots of families like to talk to their loved ones just in case they can hear them" she said before stepping out.
"Wait what do I say" I yelled after her
"Oh, honey I can't tell you what to say, just tell him what you want him to know" she said before she finally left.
At that moment, I felt awkward as hell.
"So, Hi Sean" I said as I sat down next to him and held his hand "I'm not sure what to say but the doctor said to tell you what I want you to know. So here it goes" I said as I swept a piece of hair to the side of his face.
"You bastard you said you wouldn't die on me but like always you found a loophole through that too. You left me here alone and having to deal with this garbage. But I just want you to know that I love you and no matter what garbage and trash you pull me through I will always love you." I said as I kissed his cheek softly
Just then two men in suit filed into the room.
"Sorry to disrupt you ma'am but we have a few things to go over with you as his soon to be spouse" The bald one said
"Of course," I said clearing my throat
"So, we would like to go over when we will or have to be pulling life support" The other one said as he opened his brief case
"What do you mean pulling life support" I said standing up
"Well right now Sean is dependent on life support. In the papers, he filed years ago it says here to give him 30 days to wake up before we pull life support" The bald one said reading off a paper
"Wait no that's too soon. You can't do this" I yelled
"I'm sorry there is nothing you can do. You just have to wait it out and hope that he gets better" The bald one said with genuine sincerity, but I didn't care. I had these pent-up emotions that I had to let out.
I hit his chest over and over trying to let out these feelings. HE didn't anything to stop me he just stood there with a sad face. At this point I was just crying and yelling and I fell to the ground. The nurses rushed in al escorted me out.
30 days later
I looked in the mirror and straightened my dress. My white lace dress scratched at my ankles once more and my feet ached in my black heels. I fluffed up my large curls and examined myself in the mirror. I wanted to look my best for Sean today.
"Are you ready Mrs. Kingsley" Alfred, my butler, said popping his head in my room. The money Sean had was left to me, and the house, and the butler. It was honestly a bit much, but I didn't mind it.
"Alfred how many times have I told you that you can call me Thea" I said with a laugh.
"Of course, Thea, are you ready to leave for the hospital" Alfred said fully stepping into my bedroom
"Yes, but one more thing, do you think that I look good. Good enough to maybe see Sean one day" I said turning to him.
"You look absolutely stunning and Mr. Kingsley will ecstatic to see once more so let's go" he said impatiently.
"Okay fine" I rolled my eyes.
The ride to the hospital was brutally tense. I just stared outside the car window thinking about what to come. Sean only had a 10% chance of waking up and that was being optimistic. Today was going to be sad and depressing. Today was going to be the day that would change me forever. As I pulled up to the hospital All my friends were waiting at the entrance for me.
"It's going to be okay no matter what" Jax said into my hair as he pulled me into a bear hug
"I know and thank you for supporting me" I said into his chest. He was so supportive through all of this even though he was also losing a best friend like I was losing my true love.
"Now let's go" Chloe said holding my hand leading me to the room. We walked down to hallway with our heads held up high. We finally stopped in front of his room and I took an unsteady sigh and opened the door.
"Thea and friends, you are finally here, there are only going to be a few minutes before we have to pull life support. You can say your what I hope aren't your final words" The doctor said as she stepped out of the room. James went, then Chloe, then Jax and then finally me.
I walked in a closed the door behind me. I pulled a chair right to the side of his bed right next to his face.
"Hey Sean, so by now you probably already know that today is the day they're going to stop life support. Who would have thought on that day when I sat in 'your seat' that it was going to lead to all of this. By the way it really wasn't your seat, clearly. But I really need you to wake up, if you start to see the white light or the white staircase don't go there. Think of our future. After you wake up we could get married, we'd have a small ceremony then we could spend a whole weekend not leaving the bed for the honey moon." I said with a chuckle
"Then we could move to California and live the Cali lifestyle by partying non- stop. I know you said you wanted to have like 8 children but mama isn't going to ruin her downstairs. We would have a whole debate on it maybe even a fight. But we could settle on 3 children and a SMALL dog. Then we're going to watch them grow up and you're going to scare the pants off our daughter's boyfriends and then we're going to be old" I said brushing his hair away
"We're going to be wrinkly and gross but I'm going to be bored in retirement and want to travel the world. We could spend all our retirement money on this trip. We'll have tons of fun and then we'll die. But listen and listen carefully I said we're dying when we're old and wrinkly and have nothing more to do. Not here not now because... I love you more than anything and we have so much more that we can do together, so you will not leave me" I cried into his neck
"You hear me, you will NOT leave me." I cried
"Thea it's time honey" the doctor said and I hadn't realized that everyone was already in the room.
"Oh right" I said wiping my tears and standing up "I love you"
Three nurses filed into the room rolling in a cart. They pulled out the and the long needles that were in his chest. Lastly was the mouth piece. This piece of equipment was the deciding factor. This machine was helping him breathe, once it was gone this is what could kill him. This is what would be my downfall.
Everything started to move in slow motion. My chest started to get tight and I started to get dizzy.
They pulled out the long tube that was keeping Sean alive.
And everyone held their breath as we looked at the monitors.
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Sorry Guys! I know it took a lot of time for me to upload this but it was because just a series of good and bad events have been keeping me really busy. I went to library to upload this. Yes the library so be thankful. But anyways i love you guys and Remember to like and vote!!