(Arian's pov)
The ceremony is over.
Zaire must have told Jake something to reason why an " intruder" became the female Beta.
He seemed against it, seeing that I am a complete stranger to him not someone he would trust with his pack even if I am his mate.
A lot of the females gave me murderous looks, I am guessing they were candidates for the title, there will be conflicts in the future, I hope it is sooner because I need a way to get rid of the anger I held in, it would be the perfect way.
You are aware that you can't kill them.
Some of them have the same scents as Jake's room after he tried to "distract" himself.
This is not a valid reason to chop their heads off, stop with these images, that is disgusting!
But
That doesn't mean you can't take every drop of their dignity they have left, warrior women were always prideful.
I went to search for Jake who disappeared after the ceremony to give him the "water",
I followed his scent that led me to my room?
What is he doing here?
"..Mate" doubt in his deep hoarse voice.
I gritted my teeth together to suppress the tornado of emotion building in me. Fustration.
He doesn't remember me...
I closed the door after me, leaning on the wall both my hands tugged in my pockets preventing me on doing anything stupid, The water bottle set on the ground.
"When we were with Savannah...I couldn't hear half of your conversation, it was like my head blocked all the words out" he narrawed his eyes at me.
His stare not wavering our eyes connected in a intense stare competition which didn't seem to have an end, his ice blue eyes piercing into my soul, unspoken questions going through his mind.
It is funny how feelings can change reality to suit the moment.
It felt like an eternity...
..but lasted for seconds.
"I can't understand what is going on! I finally meet my mate who everybody seems to know except myself, and then chosen as the Beta female the same day. It doesn't fit in my mind how this is... "
My head hung low, I feel so useless. I can't do anything, I can't say anything that would answer the thousand questions going on in his mind.
I threw him the bottle, he caught it with ease.
"Drink" was the only word I got out.
"Do you remember Ava?" The words heavy on my tounge.
He watched me suspiciously but drunk half of it anyways.
"She died recently from a rogue attack beyond the border" he answered, hint of sadness crossing his eyes "how do you know her?" Narrowing his eyes.
"You kept mentioning her name-"I muttered under my breath
Now to confirm the use of the poition like water..
"I was the one who killed her the day we met"
"We met today, she died weeks ago-" his sentence was cut off by a loud graon, his hands clutching his head, his eyes squinted in pain.
The water just let him hear anything related to his manipulated memory, as I thought, even Savannah couldn't break the spell...
Now it is on him if he wants to remember me.
"It happened one week before you rejected me, I lied to you all and told you my name was Lily Kim"
"You chose your dead lover over your mate-" I chuckled humorlessly, I know it isn't good to let my anger out on him for things he doesn't even remember.
"-You hated me" tears stood on the verge of my eyes waiting to be let loose, which I refused to do.
"Now that I see things from a different perspective, I know that this is mostly my fault seeing that I refused to let anyone tell you the truth about that girl, she was a traitor who used you for information"
He sat there not moving a muscle, not an emotion visiting his hard face, silence was his sword.
He just watched me, which made me more angry.
I gritted my teeth to oppress it "say something"
Anything, give me a sign.
He continued to stare at me with his now dark blue eyes.
"A lot of things happened and you found it out, you opened up to me, you accepted me...
But now you forgot me, it is like I never existed for you"
His intense yet calm stare pirced through my soul, shivers running down my spine, my anger now running out of reasons to calm down.
My body moved on its own as I tackled him on my bed, his scent wrapping around me, the tingles telling me who this person under me is.
My mate-
And I am going to burden him with my existence.
With my shadows and secrets.
"I wish I'd have never met you" my mouth forming a whisper like sigh.
Tears are a tricky thing, a human can cry from happiness, laugher, anxiety, hate, and sadness, I wonder which emotion were responsible for my tears.
In my head is a havoc of emotions and my heart is running miles, my hands firmly around his throat, holding him in place.
My glare meeting his still dark blue eyes, a sharp pain piercing my chest at his stare, his eyes showed hurt but covered it up, he didn't even attempt to get me off.
"You might not remember, but this was the way you rejected me, with merciless glare and strong hands you tried to wipe me out of your life"
"You are similar to him" his face harden, his eyes almost turning black, veins popping on his temple, anger over coming him.
"Who is HE?" His hands on my waist to assure that I am not going to leave and avoid answering.
"Do you remember the time I followed you around? You warned me by cutting off my air, that time I had a panick attack from the memories, your words were the same as his
'You are so weak', it let me doubt if the Moon Goddess is playing games with me, if this is really my chance to be happy for some time"
"Who is HE?" He repeated.
"He is the man who raped me and cursed my past" a smile crossing my lips, but not happiness was showing in my eyes but pure hatred which consumed my whole being.
His whole body stiffed, his eyes never held so much shock, he was limp under me, not a muscle moving.
"What do you know about me Jake? What did you know about me?" My smile not faltering.
"Do you want to know the person the Moon Goddesse paired you up with, the person you got cursed with?"
"I know that I should tell you eventually, but I wanted to make sure that you won't leave me"
"I didn't want for you to be bond to a f*cked up person who will only drag you down"
(JAKE'S POV)
"I didn't want for you to be bond to a f*cked up person who will only drag you down"
Anguish simle which reminded me on the the first time I saw her.
My head is a complete mess, I was speechless, my pulse was running miles, my anger showing in form of adrenalin, I want to smash that guys head and cut his limbs to pieces not even his mother would recognize him after I am done with him.
What have I done? What did my past self do! I f*cking rejected my mate!
She seems familiar, I know her, but not from a memory she said, no..
I couldn't answere her question, I grabbed her waist hoping that was answer enough.
I wanted her to stay.
She got the hint and chuckled darkly.
"There is no going back you know?" Her voice held fear which her eyes didn't show. She was slowly breaking in pieces, like a virtuous delicate rose, sharp thorns, yet a beauty not to resist to admire.
She continued, her hands now resting on my chest. "My name is Arianrhod Blackburn, I lived in a peaceful pack named Origin Pack, I had greedy parents who loved glory and praise, so I was taught to master the sword fight from a young age, I didn't mind it because I was good at it, I continued with my life normally till I was 17, I got a mindlink to meet the son of the Alpha, at that time, in the forest near the pond"
"Between the pack members he was known to be kind, respectful, and the golden child, the next Alpha in line" she smiled sadly at me.
"I was one of them, he treated the pack, omega or beta the same. But all of this was just a facade, a way to make things easier for him, I went to the pond and got suprised by him. He tackled me on the ground holding my hands in place and a hand on my mouth to muffle my screams"
"No one will hear you, so scream your lungs out if you want. No one will come to your rescue"
"His words, As I cried out and begged him to let me go, I asked him what did I do to deserve this he just laughed and ripped my clothes one after another"
Her claws were digging through my shirt into my skin, while my hands were almost crushing her hips.
Stop.
With a loud crack the bed fell on the floor, the small pillars which held the bed off the ground crushed by the force of my hit on the bed.
She continued "after he finished, he left me on the ground. I felt disgusted with myself, I felt dirty, I wanted to die right there-"
"DON'T SAY THAT" my voice boomed in the room, shaking every furniture. My face red with anger.
"Trust me, this wasn't the worst" she assured me with a chuckle, but no humor was found in her voice.
I am just lying there, I don't have any control.
Let her talk.
She f*cking got raped by some b*stard and you are so calm!?
Don't test me Jake, I am trying my best to not mark her right now and complete the mating process, SO DON'T TELL ME I AM CALM IF OUR MATE WAS HURT.
"I couldn't find a reason to stand up, but did it anyways. My parents asked me out and I flatly told them the truth, what do you think they said?"
She waited for me to react, to say a word. My throat felt dry, my heart was heavy. My head a mess. Memory pieces coming and going, never long enough for me to grasp them.
"I was a complete disgrace to the family, a sl*t, a wh*re opening my legs wide for the Alpha's son-"
Her words ringing in my head, driving me berserk. I want to see their blood dripping down my fangs, their limbs deformed and bones broken to dust. My jaw clenched tight, I stayed quiet, I knew if I utter a word it will end in destroying the building.
She is my mate, yet I can't remember her. Hearing from my past, not being able to recall a thing.
All these horrible doings and not a memory.
"-not long after that I found out I was pregnant." Her eyes cold dead silver shade.
My breath stopped, my body shook.
"You...have a child?" I flipped us over, now her small frame dominated by mine.
My head buried in her hair, I needed something to calm down to not shift. Aether is burning with rage right now.
"Your eyes are shifting in colour" she mumbled.
"I had a daughter, her name was Lily"
"You made your fake name, the name of your daughter"
"At that time I didn't even knew I had a daughter, it was the time where my memory was gone, it was the same as yours, but my memory was manipulated from my childhood"
"You can continue" I snaked my arms around her crushing her in a close embrace. I don't think I can keep my control for long.
"After my parents found out and I refused to abort the child, they kicked me out, they told the pack about what happened, but were not dumb enough to tell who has done it. From that point I was the 17 year old who had a child out of rape, and was brave enough to keep it, and her understanding parents respected her decision to move out"
"No one knew the truth, I didn't have have family anymore, I was alone with an unborn child, people would look at me disgusted or with pity"
"I got a job and got a small apartment on the other end of the pack away from my parents, nine months and I had my angel, she had dark blonde hair and hazel eyes, a bondle of light that kept me going, that gave me a reason to leave my past behind me. I wanted to fight for her, I would have given my life for my baby girl, but...my happy end was not in sight."
"What do you mean by that?" My heart increased its rate, making it harder to breath.
"She was six, she was on the way home from school when the neighbouring pack visited, a cruel pack who found happiness in killing people, they take from time to time people from the pack to play their games, Lily was one of them..."
"I begged my pack members for help...even the Alpha's son, who recently has become Alpha. No one looked at me, no one helped, pack members crying for their loved but not a single one was willing to help"
"Not a single soul"
"I took my silver sword and ran to their pack alone, just to find her body covered in blood with the rest of the corpses"
"What did you do?" I couldn't stop myself to ask, it seemed that her...daughter was the world to her..
"I went berserk and killed every single pack member, but that wasn't enough, so I went back to my pack"
"Why?"
"It was a pack full of cowards, no one of them would risk their lifes for their loved, I could take revenge on the person who ruined my life, little did he know that Lily was the only thing keeping me from burning down the pack and killing him in the most painful way possible"
"I was a mindless killing machine standing on the corpses of my own pack, not a single one survived, at that moment the Moon Goddess graced me with her presence"
The Moon Goddess?
"She told me that I have sinned, I killed thousends of people and now I have to pay the price"
"I died that day-"
"Are you making fun of me?"
She chuckled "No, I am not. But I wish I do, I wish what I am telling you is just a sick joke"
"Jake do you know the phrase "When the world turns it back on you, know it is for a reason"
"Yes..I do...I think" why does she ask that now.
"I died once, and by that I mean my soul left my body" she pushed my chest lightly for me to give her space.
She went to the drawers searching for something, she came back with a small silver dagger.
"Jenn gave me this back, it is hers but after I tried to give it back she said it was now mine"
She took the dagger higher, now on the same level as her face. "Jake, do you trust your mate who you met less than a week ago for you at least?"
I couldn't nod, I couldn't say a word.
She has a point, I don't know her, she is my mate who told me her past, but do I trust her?
"You have to then I guess" her last words before I could react, she rammed the dagger in the middle of her throat.
She twisted the knife opening the wound wider, more blood flowed down her arms and chest soaking her clothes a deep red.
She fell on her knees.
"ARIAN! F*uck! " I swiped her in my arms and broke down her door running to the hospital.
"What the F*CK ARE YOU DOING!"
I rushed down the stairs, my heart beating heavily, Aether shouting in my mind to be faster, that he will take control this instance"
My body felt heavy, my mind blank. First time in my life I feel so scared, so afraid to lose someone.
BE F*CKING FASTER!
Before I could break down the main door her voice stopped me "Stop, what would the pack think if their Beta is holding their new Beta female blood covered? Not a good first impresion on my side"
Shivers along my arms as I looked down at my mate in my arms who nonchalant looked at me.
She hopped off going beck to her room, motioning me to follow her, like nothing happened.
Taking hold of her, I stopped her. I looked at her throat which looked like nothing happened, but her clothes still soaked red, assuring me that I have not just imagined it
"Arian, what was that? What did you f*cking think when you rammed a silver dagger in yourself!! You could ha-"
"I can't"
My breath stocked "what do you mean by you can't "
"I can't die, it is not a statement that I don't allow myself to die but I simply aren't physically able to die"
"Stop talking in half sentences!"
"Hey, Jake.."
"Do you know what 'Bookman' s are?"
"...yes" I answered, unsure where this is going.
"You once told me that you liked Keepers the most of the super natural beings, there is one fact that let's them stand out from the rest, can you tell me what it is?"
"Other than the fact that there is not much information about them, what makes them stand out is the fact that they are-"
"-immortal"
Everything stopped, as my eyes widen in realisation.
She..can't be.
****************************
Was it obvious? I kind of made it obvious, didn't I?
Well can't change that ;)
I know it has been long since I have updated
and I am lazy af, Ik.
I am sorry I don't really have a reason unless you count
drawing as one😅.
Hope you liked the long update ^^ and it isn't as boring as I think.
Thank you for 3 K ! I can't believe we almost have 4k XDD
And I repay that with not updating...#sorry
See you soon again..I hope
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