A/N: 15 more chapters till the end!
Bennett's POV
I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, because I am. Very, very nervous. What if I say the wrong thing? What if she wont forgive me? Honestly, I don't deserve her forgiveness. I've hurt her too much. I've gone over board and have done unforgivable things that I myself have trouble coping with.
Everyday I think of the horrible things I've done, not just to Jay, but to others. I've taken my anger and pain and thrusted it on another, hurting them even more. I was uncontrollable and insecure then, but I want to fix my mistakes here and now. And I'm gonna start with the one I've hurt and tortured the most for no particular reason.
Sitting here, my knees bouncing up and down as I grow more eager to get this done. I run my hands over my jet-black hair thousands of times, trying to mentally ready myself with what I have to say, running over and over again what I have planned to talk about. I just hope it's enough to earn forgiveness, though I don't think it will.
I'm on her 'most hated' list without a doubt and highly disagree to the fact that there might be a possibility of her removing my name from the number one spot.
But one can only hope.
***
"I'll go get her," Keith states and disappears around the corner I assume to where she is. My hand shakes and the anticipation build up inside of me has reached it's peak. I'm ready to talk and apologize for all my wrongs, and I want to make it better, I want to make myself a better person. I don't want to be viewed as the school's "victorious bad guy" anymore, I want to change that name I've earned for myself.
A minute later, Keith reapers and takes a seat across from me where I'm sitting in a chair in the living room, he stares at me intensely as if he's trying to bury me, I know that by hurting Jay, I've also hurt him and I've already plead my apology to him, and so he's about to hear it again, just this time with more thought.
Jay comes around the corner and taking a seat adjacent to Keith on the couch, placing both of her hands in front of her and intertwining her fingers on her lap, she remains silent, but her gaze is telling me everything I need to know. She's hurt, angry, and inflamed with me, and I don't blame her one bit.
"Okay Bennett, go ahead," her tone is hasty, but I could tell she was trying hard to hold it back.
I let out a breath, trying to reassure myself that this is my one chance and I will do fine. "Jay, I just wanted to start off saying that I'm so sorry for everything I did to you."
She looks at me, her expression is unconvinced with my statement. I can tell it's gonna be a lot of work to get her to forgive me, and I am not going to stop telling her how horrible I feel about what I've done until she forgives me.
"I've hurt you in many ways, I know. Every single day when I wake up, the horrible feeling of guilt always edges within me. I'm so sorry for what I did to you," I stop for a second, taking in a breath, readying myself for what I have to say next. "Jay, when I first saw you, you looked so broken and despondent, I don't know what came over me, but the sudden urge to make you break even more came to my mind. I wanted you to suffer, though I don't know the reason. I've made mistakes like this before, and back then, I felt nothing...but now I feel everything. I feel pain myself for putting others in pain and distress. I feel so horrible for everything I've done. I'm a sick person for doing what I did."
A stray tear escapes her iris, landing on her hands that she unravels and reaches her face to wipe it free from tears.
"I've done unforgivable things to you. I'm so sorry for making the whole school turn against you and hate you for absolutely nothing, no reason at all. I gave them no reason to tell you hateful things. I'm so desperately sorry for what I did, and I really want to start over, to get to know you for who you really are, not the fake personality everyone knows you as. I want to know you as the real Jay, and not the psychotic, murderous Jay that I know doesn't exist. I want to change, and I want to start a new. I know nothing about you, and I want to change that."
She stays silent, letting my words sink in.
"Do you really w-want to know the r-reason I was the way I w-was then?" She asks, her voice quivering and giving out at the end.
"Yes, I want to know, only if you're ready and trust me to know the real reason. But if you're not ready, I understand."
"I'm an orphan, and unnamed orphan that doesn't know her own family, that's what being an orphan is, not knowing anything f-from your origin. I've been told lies about my real parents, lies that I still have trouble coping with. I've been running for a year, from people who are out to get us, Keith and I and it's non-stop. The real reason why Adam died wasn't because of a sickness like we've told everyone, no, but because the person who's out to get us killed him, in a car crash that Keith was also in. The reason w-why I haven't been at school is not because of the things you've done to me, but b-because I, I don't know how to say it."
"She was kidnapped by Walker, the one whose been out to get us. He took her away from me and left me with nothing. Those days when we were running was all because of him, he was out to fulfill his plans that he had from the beginning of when I was born."
"Wait, how is that possible?" I ask, suddenly confused.
"Because, he's my father."
Shock fills my body as I hear everything that Keith just said.
"My father is abusive, he always has been. He's done horrible things to me and Jay, things that should have him in jail for the rest of his life. He has done things that could permanently paralyze a person. He owns this company called NanoTech. They create these gadgets and small devices that are used to control one's mind and make them do unforgivable things. I'm the reason why Jay has no connection to her mother, I was a test subject on the device and it took control of me, though somethings happened and I shot her. I've done things that no one knows besides Jay, and now you know my darkest secret. I'm done running, people don't even know the real story of things and they say they do, but they don't. Life for us is different, it's hard and unfair. But everyday, we struggle and pull through to survive. It's time this all comes to an end." Keith says, his tone gradually raising.
His words leave me in a world of shock, I can't imagine everything they've gone through while I was there only making it worse.
"I'm so sorry for everything I've done, I've only made it worse. Please, I want to do something to help you stop this civil war between you and the others."
"They're called The Shadow Men." Jay says.
"I want to help you in some way against these people, against Walker. I want to help you in every way I can."
"Good, because we're gonna need all the help we can get, are you sure you're in?" Keith asks.
"Yes, I'm ready to face whatever it is, I'm ready to show you that you can trust me and to give you a reason to forgive me. Please, count me in."
Keith grins and I could tell he's thinking of something, though I don't know what it is.
"Great, I need you to get all the help you can get, please."
"You wont be disappointed," I say and Keith's grin widens. I turn my attention to Jay who's sitting quietly. "Am I forgiven?"
"Yes."
At that, a huge smile crosses my face as I feel a large weight of guilt being lifted.
"Thank you."
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