Chapter Fifteen - Relationships
J A X O N
The next week I was home and Isabelle had been asking to come but I told her I wasn't feeling well. Honestly I was just feeling guilty, but for more than just what had happened and her almost getting hurt. Blaine had been coming after work everyday to just hangout and check on me and I was feeling more for him than just friendship.
I liked him and that scared me. Scared me more than anything.
I had a girlfriend, I was straight, at least I thought I was.
"Jaxon is everything okay?" Blaine asked me. I guess I got lost in my thoughts.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm just tired." I lied.
He gave me a look lime he knew I was lying but he didn't say anything about it, "Do you need me to go?"
"I'm sorry." I apologized.
"It's okay," He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, "Get some rest."
With that he left. As I reached for my phone I realized I should have just told him what I was doing becuase I knew he would see her car. But then that would have lead into a conversation of why and I really didn't want to tell him like that.
I invited Isabelle over saying we needed to talk. She was there in twenty minutes.
She walked into my room with an almost sad expression, like she knew what was coming.
"You're breaking up with me." She said, not even asking, before I could even talk.
"I'm sorry Isabelle-" I started but she cut me off.
"Don't. I know." She said and took my hand.
"I just... I can't love you the way you need to be loved."
I knew it hurt Isabelle and I wish I didn't have to. I wish it could be easier, that I didn't have such a strong feeling for a boy, for Blaine.
Isabelle nodded, "You know, I always knew. I just tried to will it away. I thought that maybe if I was with you, you wouldn't feel that way. I'm sorry if I kept you from being who you really are."
I shook my head and squeezed her hand, "I knew it never felt right but I thought it would with you. I'm sorry."
I saw a tear slip from her eye and I pulled her in, kissing her cheeks one last time, "You'll find someone for you, I know you will. And I'll always be there for you, I pormise."
She offered a sad smile and walked out, I saw her shoulders shake with a silent sob as she walked out, making me feel even worse.
I knew Blaine had seen the car and maybe even Isabelle walking out, crying, but he didn't come over the rest of the day and I was thankful. I ended up sleeping the rest of the day, woken up once for dinner before taking medicine and sleeping the whole night.
When I woke up, I decided I would get up and go outside, get some fresh air. My parents were both out working but my mom left some breakfast for me in the microwave. I quickly ate it and walked outside, surprised to see a car I didn't recognize in front of the main house. It was still pretty early so I was surprised to see a car there.
A boy I didn't know was at the door, talking with someone I couldn't see.
B L A I N E
I had just gotten on the subway with Josef going to route we always went together on our way home. Because it was late there weren't that many people on, but I didn't miss the guys staring at us from a few seat down. Josef took my hand in his and leaned against me, "Today was great, I had a lot a fun. How about we go back sometime?" He smiled at me, oblivious to the guys staring us down.
"Yeah." I smiled.
He noticed something was off, "What's wrong."
I leaned in close and whispered to him, "Those guys, their staring at us. I'm scared."
He saw who I was talking about and held me closer, "It'll be alright."
We didn't talk much and I thought the guys were getting off as the subway stopped and they got up but they came over to us.
We got up to exit the subway to avoid conflict with them but before I could get out they yanked me back, "Where you going, faggot?"
My head hit a rail and I let out a scream, mostly in fear. Josef quickly turned around and punched the guy that threw me. He tried to fight back but he didn't last long and soon we were both being beaten to a pulp, nasty words being thrown at us the whole time. It only lasted a short time before two men came by and saved us.
I was a whimpering, wheezing mess. They had broken one of my ribs so it was a struggle to breath, it didn't help that my nose was broken or at least felt like it was. The men carried us out of the subway car and called the police.
I will never forget the kindness of those two as one of them held me, calming me and reassuring me, "Do you have someone you would like me to call? A mother? A father?"
I nodded though it hurt, "My father." I told him the number and he called, telling him I was being taken to the hospital and what had happened.
When he got off the phone and the ambulances showed up and smiled down at me, "You're gonna be okay. You and your boyfriend both."
I woke up to Bailey shaking me, saving me from that awful dream. I remember I stayed in the hospital for weeks, though it wasn't so bad because Josef was the person I shared a room with.
Bailey shook me again, getting me attention, "What?" I asked.
She sighed, Josef is downstairs.
The name didn't really process so I didn't refuse or argue when she basically dragged me downstairs. It wasn't until I saw his face and heard his voice that I rubbed my eyes to fully wake up and see that I wasn't dreaming. There he stood, in all his cheating glory.
"What the fuck?"
"Blaine." My dad scolded.
I ignored him, "Wh-why are you here?"
"I had to come see you."
"No, no you didn't." I was shocked to say the least, "Get out of this house."
"Blaine, he came all the way from New York, maybe you should hear him out." My grandma tried to say gently.
"No," my voice was shaky, "Get out. Get out, get out!" I yelled, pushing him. When I looked at his face all I saw was him with my best friend and my heart breaking all over again.
"Blaine, just listen to me, just once. I can't just forget you. I've tried, I can't." He reached for me. It was too early for this.
"Don't touch me." I hissed. I had had a great summer, one without Josef fucking it up but here he was, like a nightmare, like the one I had just woken up from.
I looked around the room for help but they all just looked at me with pity or sympathy.
I felt the knot in my throat suffocating me and my eyes stung with tears that I refused to shed in front of him.
I shook my head and walked out of the house. I thought about going to hide in Jaxon's house but I didn't want to bother him, he was probably resting. I groaned and walked to the stables, thinking that would be a perfect hiding spot.
As soon as I plopped down in a pile of hay my sobs escaped me, shaking my whole body as I cried. I didn't know who I was more mad at, Josef or me. I was half hating him for showing up, half hating me for not just listening to him, I mean he came all the way from New York, we were only in high school, how could he be so caught up on me. He was something else.
I stayed in the barn for a while, thinking and planning out what I would say when I saw him again, if he was even still here.
I got out of the stables, but not before I pet all the horses, and went back to the house. His car was still there, or at least the one he rented.
I cringed as I opened the door, I could hear him talking with my grandmother. I walked in the living room. It was only him and my grandmother.
"Knock knock." I said as I walked in.
Josef instantly looked at me and opened his mouth to speak. I interrupted him, "Listen, I'm sorry. You caught me off guard this morning and I didn't have a very pleasant dream. You came all the way from New York, I should have been more understanding. Why did you come?"
He looked shocked by my apology, "Look, I should be the one apologizing. I came all the way here so you would listen to me, and because I love you."
"How do you even know what love is? We're still so young."
"Blaine, we've been through to much together, I can't just forget you like that. Even if you hate me because of the stupid mistake I made."
"Very stupid."
My grandmother looked at us and stood up, "I'm going to give you some time to peacefully talk. I'll be in the kitchen makin' snacks."
When she left I took a seat, across from Josef.
"Grace was a mistake. I know how much it hurt you but she meant nothing to me. It was a drunk mistake."
I shook my head, "A drunk mistake that made all the shit we've been through together feel like a lie."
Josef looked about ready to cry like I was, "I'm sorry."
"I know you are," My voice was quiet and tears were falling out of my eyes again. I waited a while before I said what I did next, "I forgive you, I can give you that. But I don't think there is any repairing us."
I looked up at him and saw the tear roll down his cheek, "How have we managed to be through so much at our age and I still manage to fuck it all up?" I suddenly thought of all that we had done together, all the shit kids and even some adults gave us. We had been through hell and back together but that all just felt like a past life now.
"It's okay. We just weren't meant to be together, you'll find someone else." I wiped my tears, it was useless to cry anymore.
"I love you." He said weakly.
"I loved you too." I smiled, "But it's time for us to move on, okay?"
He nodded though I know he didn't agree. He stood up and began walking out just as my grandma walked in, "Where are you going young man?"
"I'm going back to the motel."
"Motel?" I asked quietly, or so I thought.
"It's where I've been staying for the past couple of days, it took a lot of courage to get myself to come here."
"Well you're not going back," my grandma said, "I have an extra room, you are more than welcome to use it until you fly back home."
Josef cringed slightly, "About that, I kind of told my parents I was coming here for some kind of educational class that lasted two weeks and I'm sure Blaine doesn't want me here."
"Nonsense, you are staying, Blaine will live, won't you?" She looked at me and I had no other choice but to agree.
"It's fine. I don't completely hate you anymore so that's good."
"Thank you, I'm going to go get my things from the motel. Is there anything you need me to pick up while I'm out?" He asked.
My grandma smiled, "No dear, but thank you for offering."
There was a knock just then and Josef offered to get it since he was leaving anyway. I walked behind him, ready to talk to whoever it was.
When Josef opened the door I was surprised to see Jaxon, "What are you doing here?" I asked.
He looked at me and then looked back at Josef, "Who are you?"
"Josef, and you are?" He asked, he looked nice but I didn't miss the hostile edge in his voice.
Though what Jaxon did next made the day more hectic than it already was. Without any warning Jaxon punched Josef, hard. He fell back and I looked down in shock.
"What the hell?" Josef asked, holding his bleeding nose.
I looked at Jaxon, mouth agape, silently asking the same thing Josef did.
I don't really like this chapter but oh well, you lovelies deserve something for waiting this long, sorry for that. I might change Jaxon's point of view later but I needed Isabelle and Jaxon to break up for the story to progress.