For the next couple of days that I wasat the hospital, I don't know why, but I tried to avoid Zeke. I had started feeling bad that I hadn't waited till marriage to have my first kiss, when I was indeed supposed to. What would my future husband think?
Of course I wanted Zeke to be my future husband.
So, I tried to talk with Ommi, but she was no help. She would just get angry at me, because I disobeyed Allah's wishes for women, but the scary thing was I wasn't sure if I cared anymore about what Allah thought? So to try and guide myself back n the straight path, I read more of the quran and sucked its words out like it was my lifeblood.
In a way though, it became my lifeblood.
I felt like a totally different person, I felt happier than I had ever before, the thing was though.. I still didn't feel complete without Zeke.
Which was a weak thing to think... That my soul could never be full without a man.
Good Allah, Help me with what I should do with my life...