Chapter 20: The Sad Song
"What the hell are you saying?" I asked with shaky voice.
He looked around us and then to the children who were staring up at us with curiosity in their eyes. He suddenly pulled me away from them and let Erasmus continue on distributing the apples to the children. I felt a little bit guilty for leaving them. I was actually enjoying what I was doing before that strange man arrived and attacked me.
"I don't care if you're called the Skull now! You are still Threy Weston! Before you became a pirate, you were the son of the –"
"I was a son of a tyrant! And so are you!" He said angrily, stopping me from finishing what I was about to say.
His anger was matched by my confusion. How could he say those things? "Our families are not tyrants! They are leaders who work hard to keep the peaceful living in our land," I tried to reason.
But he looked so mad and I didn't think my words would be enough to change what he believed. This pirate world ruined the image of the mainland in the Skull's eyes. And I was afraid of what he might do about it, what he might become because of it.
"Do you think you know everything in the mainland? You are caged in your castle with walls as high as the mountain so you couldn't see what lies behind it! You don't know everything."
I opened my mouth for a response only to close it again and be left unable to speak a word. I couldn't believe I was hearing these things from him. I couldn't believe I was even listening to him insulting where I came from. He sounded more of a pirate of the seas and a rebel of our lands. I was talking with a stranger.
"Stay with Erasmus. I have to finish this first so we could finally rest here in the Forsaken Island," he said looking around to the pirates who were busy with their tasks.
He was calmer this time and all the hints of anger started to fade away from his face. He was still serious and cold though. He was back to being the Skull but it still felt like he was a stranger to me. I didn't give an answer. I remained staring up at him and scrutinizing. Should I still listen to him? He sighed when he finally met my eyes again.
"Don't look at me like that. I know you are disappointed but I will not apologize for telling you the truth. We sometimes need to break something for us to be able to see clearly. And I might break you again and again for you to see what I see."
I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist. I wanted to punch him hard in his face because the only truth I knew at the moment was his betrayal to his family and the mainland. He betrayed me and that was the only thing I could see.
"You're right," I said instead. "We need to be broken for us to see clearly. And if just like what you said, you're going to break me again and again, then I might see the things I should have seen a long time ago."
And after throwing a cold glare towards him, I left and walked back to Erasmus and the children. I sat on the sand, grabbed an apple from the basket and bit angrily on it. I let the little girls play on my hair and watched the clouds as they unfolded a blue sky. The sun started to feel harsher and biting on my skin. I wished it would rain so the fire of hatred would burn out and the dust on the tired souls would wash out – and then our hearts would be free from the cage of negativity, as we danced through the mist and the endless rainbow of colors.
When we finished distributing the apples to the children, Erasmus led me to the path towards the heart of the Forsaken Land. He said he wanted me to meet someone and if we were lucky enough, we would have a delicious food for lunch. Despite the disappointment that was gnawing my heart, I couldn't resist his invitation for a delectable meal. I would probably endure it if we were going to meet another Owain or an ill-mannered pirate. I just had to distract myself from being eaten up by betrayal caused by the Skull.
The center of the Forsaken Land proved my first realization when we arrived this morning. It was more chaotic, more populated and even noisier than the Borgian Island. It was obviously lacking wealth and prosperity compared to the mainland. But as I watched the men singing with a guitar in front of their houses, the children running and playing around on their lawns, the women talking and laughing with each other, I suddenly thought that maybe I was looking at this place in the wrong angle. Maybe there was so much more to their poverty and chaos. Maybe I was being too judgmental. Or maybe I actually lived in a cage called the castle for a long time to even understand a thing like this.
"The lunatic drunkard at the shore does not really represent all of the people of the Forsaken Land. They have some parts of him but I don't think it dominates the good part," Erasmus said smiling.
I forced myself to smile back. He had been good to me ever since I boarded the Obsidian and became their captive. He was not the one who disappointed me. He didn't deserve a bitter treatment from me.
"You're probably right. But after this, I prefer going back to the Obsidian and rest in my cabin," I answered.
"I understand, Prim. You must still be shocked because of the attack. I just hope you'll give this lunch a chance."
I nodded and continued walking silently beside him. If my thoughts were right, these people hated my kind. The Forsaken Island was harboring a great resentment towards the mainland. And being a daughter of one of the ruling families in the mainland is dangerous enough for me to even stay here.
Suddenly, Erasmus turned to a path towards an average looking house that was made of woods and bamboo stems. It wasn't small compared to the houses we passed by and it wasn't as big as the homes of the noblemen in the mainland. It was not grand but it still looked welcoming with its open door waiting for us to enter.
When a smiling middle-aged woman appeared at the door, Erasmus started running towards her leaving me dumbfounded on the path. I watched them as the woman received Erasmus and hugged him in one of the tightest hugs I had ever witnessed. The young pirate looked like an innocent child in her arms. I couldn't help the warmness the view brought to my heart. This house must be called home.
"Oh! I'd like you to meet someone." Erasmus sounded too excited and urged me with his hand to come near them. Without second thoughts, I walked forward and greeted the woman with a sincere smile. I guessed she just shooed the darkness in my heart away.
"She's the loveliest!" She gasped cheerfully. The wrinkles in her eyes showing with the stretch of her wide smile. And I almost uttered, No, you are the loveliest.
"Indeed, she's lovely!" Erasmus agreed, "But mother, no one can beat your beauty in my eyes." And Erasmus stared at the woman dearly; his eyes were almost sparkling with adoration.
"Oh! This boy," she said blushing, "You're still my baby little boy."
And that was Erasmus' turn to blush. His smile weakened and changed into something almost amusing. I almost laughed watching him cringe.
"I'm Imara. I'm the mother of this little boy." She said and held out her hand.
I reached for it, trying to suppress the surprised look on my face, feeling the roughness and softness of her palm and shook it. Even her touch was so gentle against my hand.
"Primrose." I answered, wondering if I should tell more about myself. The Skull's voice still echoed in my head, reminding me to be cautious.
But her smile grew wider and said, "You're the most beautiful flower I've ever seen."
She finally led us into her house before I reached the state of feeling uncomfortable because of the praises. I was welcomed by a cozy and spacious home and the mouth-watering smell of cooked food. I could almost feel the thunder that was starting to form inside my stomach. I stopped myself from running past her towards her kitchen because that was certainly unladylike and could result in all her compliments about me puffing into clouds.
We finally entered the kitchen when I saw Owain sitting on a chair and eating a bounty meal on the table. He was on the act of biting a big leg of turkey when he noticed us.
"And now, you brought the Jonah in our house." He said, pointing to Erasmus. He dropped the mass of meat and glared at me.
"I am not a Jonah!" I countered. He'd been talking about me being a Jonah ever since we met each other at the Borgian Island.
"She's my visitor and I invited her to lunch," Erasmus said and pulled a chair for me to sit on.
I sat on it under Owain's glare. I guessed no amount of Owain's hatred would stop me from sitting on a table with a feast of delicious food. I focused my eyes on the meat and fruits in front of me.
"Mother, you shouldn't have let her in. She's a Jonah!" Owain insisted.
But Imara was already putting a bowl of chicken soup in front of me, which I thankfully received, and drank. It was hot and tasty; it almost tasted like a cure to everything that seemed to be wrong inside me.
"Mother! Are you even listening to me?" Owain's voice became louder and this time, he earned a stern look from Imara.
"I've known that she's a Jonah before I even let her in my house. And this is my house alone ever since the two of you decided to go with your father! And right now, she's my visitor just like the two of you!" Imara's voice was strict and serious, but I could also feel the hint of sadness in her. She must had hated it when her sons left her to join the voyage.
Somehow, it caused Owain and Erasmus to become silent. They just started eating without a word, as if their mother had opened something both of them didn't want to enter. Imara sat beside me and tucked my hair behind my ear.
"You said I'm a Jonah. What is a Jonah?" I asked.
She looked at me, surprised by my lack of knowledge, and said, "A woman on a pirate ship is a Jonah. The Pirates believe that a Jonah brings bad luck on their voyage and that is why my son here is showing a great despise towards you. His beliefs are poisons that are rotting his mind."
"Mother--"
Whatever plans Owain had to defend himself died out when we heard footsteps coming from the living room. Imara didn't rise to greet the newcomers and instead waited for them to enter the dining room. We finally saw Captain Drakon and the Skull standing in the doorway after a few seconds.
"I could smell my favorite dish from the middle of the sea, thus, we docked here," the captain said and sat beside Owain, motioning for the Skull to follow and sit on the chair next to him.
"You still looked wonderful, Imara." The Skull greeted her which she returned with her sweet smile.
"It's always nice to see you again, Skull. I had this Turkey cooked especially for you," she said and grabbed a leg and put it on my plate, which earned me unbelieving stares from the pirates on the table.
"Eat more, my child. Living with these bad-mannered pirates must have taken lots of your energy," she said towards me.
I couldn't help but snicker. It's not every day that I was watching these cruel pirates be left helpless in front of a woman. She was slaying them properly. I grabbed the leg and bit into it. I could almost feel the pairs of eyes that were burning holes in my head.
"My beloved, Imara, you know that I like the leg the most., Captain Drakon finally uttered.
"Hmm."
"And the turkey only had two legs."
"Of course! Which island have you seen a turkey with more than two legs?" Imara asked.
"My love, the point here is, Owain is having one leg, and you gave the other leg to the lady. It's not f*cking fair in all the bloody justices that could be served!" Captain Drakon was close enough to shouting.
Imara gave him the look she gave to Owain just a while ago, and I almost laughed for it had the same effect to the captain. Whoa! I had never met a woman as powerful as her in the mainland. Owain faked a look like he seemed to be unaware of what was happening, while the Skull satisfied himself with some meat and fruits on his plate – now, that's so ladylike. Those two were turning into ladies while the captain was raging amidst them.
"Oh! Is that so? This turkey leg is for her, while the other one can be claimed by anyone." She said and put some vegetables on my plate.
I didn't know if I should continue being grateful for the attention she was giving me or be worried because I was receiving more intense glares from the pirates on the table. But it was hard to resist her offer of delicious food, so I happily took it and thanked her.
"It was all Erasmus' fault! This is supposed to be a lunch for our family! And look what he did! He brought the Jonah!" Owain said exasperatedly when he saw Captain Drakon glanced at his almost empty plate.
"She's a visitor!" Erasmus' countered immediately, dropping his spoon and glared at his older brother.
That was when Imara decided to turn her attention towards them. She looked around the table, giving a stern look to her two sons and then to Captain Drakon who straightened immediately the moment Imara's eyes landed on him.
"You are all in my house and I prefer if you leave your filthy pirate manners in your ship and not fight on my table," she said in a completely serious tone.
No one dared to talk back to her, even Captain Drakon who decided to cut some chunks of meat just like the Skull. The lunch went smoothly after that, with some funny story from voyage told by Erasmus. I watched as Captain Drakon and Imara laughed into it. Even Owain chuckled silently on his side. The Skull listened intently as if everything Erasmus talked about were serious matters. This scene was far from the picture of the pirate world that was plastered in my mind. This life was better and right. This one was more worth-living than the other.
Thus, I resulted in wondering why they chose to leave this kind of life with their mother. Imara was the kind of mother that any kid would ask for. She didn't deserve to be living alone and left behind. She didn't deserve all the worry-filled sleepless nights she had been through. She didn't deserve the kind of sadness I was seeing in her eyes. There must be a great reason behind all these crappy decisions because I couldn't think of anything that was worth breaking a family.
"You looked troubled."
I heard the Skull's baritone voice coming from behind me as I sat on a chair looking outside through the window. Captain Drakon decided to stay in Imara's house for the night. Some of the pirates took this chance to visit their families while the others who were recruited from another island stayed on the Obsidian.
"I am just confused about lots of things. I just don't understand," I answered timidly, not eager to have any conversation.
"Come with me. I'll show you something," he said.
I shook my head. "No. I don't want to go."
"I'm sure you'll like it. And if we're lucky enough, it might change your mind," he insisted.
I looked up at him lazily, wondering if I should go. I was thinking of the things I like and I wondered which one of them he was going to show me.
"Is it home?" I asked.
He didn't answer right away but when he did, he said, "You know I can't give you that right now. But this one is something close to home."
I thought of it for few seconds while looking at him before finally getting up. I forced a smile and led the way to the door. Maybe it would be best if we were going to give some personal time for Captain Drakon's family.
I followed the Skull silently as he led me to a path towards the back of the house. It was already dusk and the only thing that was lighting up our way was the lamp the Skull brought. I made sure to stay close to him so I would not get lost in the dark.
My curiosity began to rise as I felt the leaves of palm trees brushing against my face. The grassy soil turned to sand again despite us walking to the opposite direction from the seashore. It was silent and the distance baffled the sound of the people from the houses of the Forsaken Land. The clouds started to make way for the moon and the stars and I was walking under it, wondering of the possible things the Skull would like to show me.
After the bushes and the trees that came on our way, we had finally reached a clearing. And just like finding an answer to a complicated question, I was welcomed by a lake that seemed too impossible to exist in the middle of the Forsaken Land. Well, probably some answers to questions are impossible to believe in and thus, we were resulting to probing on more specific things.
"What are you going to show me?"
But the Skull continued walking to the edge of the lake, which I followed and found a wooden canoe that was tied to one of the trees in there. I stared at him, confused, when he offered his hand to help me get on the canoe. What was so unusual in going near a body of water again? I almost walked back to Imara's house if not for the darkness under the trees.
"This canoe will not sink, right? Do I have to remind you that I don't swim?" I asked a little bit sarcastically.
"It will not sink. And if in case it will, I'm here to save you," he said, and for a moment, I felt my heart giddily skipped a beat. I sighed. Should I remind myself that I was still disappointed at him?
I took his hand silently and got into the canoe. He pushed the boat, hauled himself up, and paddled to the middle of the lake. I couldn't help but felt a little bit nervous. What if there were crocodiles or other monsters beneath us? But the fear that was starting to grow inside me began to subside when the clouds finally cleared from the sky and showed us the full view of the moon and the stars. And at that moment, I held my breath – like the time just stopped moving and everything was non-existent. It was as magical as the view from the crow's nest, but this time, the moon seemed to be bigger and the placid lake was a perfect mirror to its beauty.
"I knew I caused you disappointment and confusion. And I just thought that maybe I could show you your favorite things to improve your mood," his deep voice was so sincere and it almost sounded like a song in this enchanted sanctuary.
"It is so wonderful. I am enchanted and I think the moon captivates my heart." And I looked at him. Maybe it was not the moon that captivated my heart after all.
"I'm glad you like it. And I hope you understand that I couldn't take you home," and he looked up to the moon, "But I promise to you that when I found what I am looking for, I'll let you go home safely. For now, you have to stay under the Skull's protection."
He got me immediately when he talked about me going home, but I was lost again about what he was looking for. I watched him staring up at the moon, yearning and wishing. What was the thing he strongly desired that he couldn't go home just yet?
"When you find what you are looking for, will you go home with me?" I asked, almost hopeful.
But he turned to me with the same sadness in his eyes. It was as if he brought the moon through those grey orbs and said, "This is my world now and you don't belong in this world, Primrose. The only thing I can do for you is to open the door and let you out."
And just like that, the music brought by the magic of the evening stopped. It was suddenly replaced by a sad melody that only my heart could hear. So he just wanted to get rid of me? How many times did I have to put my hopes up only to crush them hard to the ground?
"You are the sad song I hate listening to. But I still do." I croaked on my last sentence; tears started welling in my eyes. The thought of parting away was consuming every bit of me.
"You need to understand, Primrose. This pirate world is cruel and merciless. It would change you just like it changed me. And I will not allow it to happen. This life is not for you. And if you stay, it will break you again and again."
There was a part of me that knew talking to the Skull would only cause pain in the end. Being with him was not a fair game no matter how wonderful the surrounding was. They could bring out all the stars in the sky but if the storm was inside a heart, no moon could heal the night.
"I know how you feel, and you can stay mad at me for my decisions. But I'm doing this for your own good," he said.
When I didn't respond, he started paddling back to the lakeside. The sky looked lame to me already and this night became so tiring and heavy. I rose to my feet when we reached the shallow part and said, "Good night."
"Primrose," I hated it when his mere voice could stop me. "Forgive me for hurting you," he said.
I looked at him and brushed the single tear that escaped from my eyes and said, "You are the sad song that is bound to end. And yet, after hearing the last note, I'm willing to start all over again."
And I jumped from the canoe and run to the direction of the trees. This time, darkness was a better companion for a gloomy heart.