Tacenda – Chapter Two, Novaturient
Novaturient (adj.) [“nO-va-‘tUr-E-ent]: 1. Desiring or seeking powerful change in one’s life, behavior, or situation.
Neither school nor my house were any remedy for me. Months have passed and she still wasn’t awake. It’s the first time I’ve ever saw someone I love—so much—to be in comatose, and it really had to be her.
Lucas and the others didn’t mind starting small talk to me, since they knew it wouldn’t heal anything. Hence, as selfish as Chleo was, she hit the bull’s eye immediately.
“Is it true,” she asked, looking at me. Her hands were balancing her body from her seat. I kept my gaze at the empty space on the table in front of me. “About Avery?”
Don’t remind me.
My silence must have made her assume a “Yes.”
“I…” She hesitated for a moment, then corrected herself. “I hope she’s okay.”
You never even cared about her.
“It doesn’t matter.” I responded, maybe sharper than I would have intended, but her meaningless worry made me sick. She was only doing this because she needed to, because she’s a member of our group. But, she never really talked to her much. Chleo never really gave her presence any importance, even as a close friend.
And I’m glad that she understood my sharp remark as another word for “Please just shut up.”
Since I didn’t have anything to do in school, I decided to be brave and go back to the hospital to check on her. I asked for Sarah to come with me, because going alone would make me feel… guiltier.
I could tell that Sarah had so many things in her mind that she wanted to speak out, but decided not to. I wonder what they were. I wonder if they were obvious thoughts that were better off not saying. But total silence inside the car, other than the noise outside and the engine, didn’t really make me feel any more at ease. I wanted to move from the driver’s seat, to wiggle my body than just moving my arm for the steering wheel to move. I wanted to create some sort of noise, but it would only be meaningless and awkward.
I turned on the music player, and Say Something started playing. Why, again, did I add this to my USB? I’m not the type to download sad songs, especially songs that would make me feel all emotional.
◄◄◄
I looked at her in the eyes, the prettiest pair that I have ever seen in my life. It may be just me, but I could care less.
That was the moment where I decided, that I would be the only person who’ll love her the most than anybody could, than anybody would ever would, letting her realize on her own how much I loved her, because that’s probably the most sweetest thing a girl could figure out on herself: How much a guy loves her that he would give anything. Because showing is much better than just saying.
It was after that train of thought that I realized that tears were already welling in her eyes.
“What? Why are you crying?” I asked.
“Because,” she explained. “I never knew… I never knew that I would find a guy who would treat me like his princess, or anything special at all. All I thought was that I was this normal, all-for-nothing girl who likes to smile and have fun.”
I couldn’t help it. I hugged her. Tight.
“You’re way more special than that,” I whispered on her ear. “You may be my princess right now, but you’ll be resigning that position in the future.”
“W… What?”
“Because then, you’ll be my Queen, and I’ll be your King, and we’ll have our own adorable little prince and princesses who will complete our set of happiness, then we’ll die happy. Together. Smiling.”
Her hands crept up to my shoulders, and hugged me even tighter.
“You’re the sweetest guy I have ever met,” she said. “And I don’t know if anybody could ever replace you.”
Her tears were already dripping on the ground, on my shirt, but I let her be. It’s better to cry out tears of happiness than despair.
I nuzzled my head on her neck, smelling the sweet scent of her shampoo, and kissed her hair. “I love you,” I murmured.
She sniffed, and replied, “I love you, too.”
I let her go, and I could feel the hesitation on her hands. But I had to do it. “Forever?”
She ran her hands on my hair, leaned our foreheads together, and said, “Forever.”
And, at that moment, we may have shared one of the best kiss we have ever had.
►►►
Her face looked to pale, so fragile. Like, if I ever touch her with just my fingertips, she would break immediately.
Or—much worse—die.
“I hope…” I tried to say. “I hope… that she would wake up soon.”
“Everybody hopes for that to happen, Austin.” Sarah says, walking beside me and closing the door behind her, a sad smile on her face.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I just shouldn’t have.” I said, fighting the tears of guilt from my eyes.
Sarah rubbed my back sympathetically, then curled her arm behind my back. It was some kind of assurance, but I don’t know what.
“I don’t know what I would do without her,” I confessed. “I don’t… Just… If I can’t take seeing her on comatose, alive but not alive, what about when she’s really… finally… gone?”
“Don’t think that,” she murmured. “I’ve always believed in that. That thinking it really hard would make it happen. It has been effective for me from time to time so… I’ve been wishing for her to wake up ever since… you know. This happened.”
I hit my forehead with my right palm two times, then ran my hand on my hair. A gesture that has always made her red. But I can’t make her blush right now, not when she can’t even see me.
“I regret everything.” I said, though my voice cracked a bit because of the oncoming tears.
I wish she would wake up.
Please, Avery, wake up.
Wake up, wake up, wake up.
I know you probably hate me right now, and you may not even hear me, but please… Just wake up, for me. For your family. Or even for Sarah. Please. I love you, so please.
Sarah checks her watch, and looks at me with a disappointed face. “We need to go. I need to go home before seven.”
I looked at my own wristwatch, and reluctantly nodded. The least I wanted to do was leave her right now, or at any time, actually. I just want to protect my only princess, especially at the hardest point of her life.
I don’t want to lose my future Queen.
But I can’t do that. I’m the only source of transportation Sarah has to get back home the safest.
Why, again, did I bring her with me? It seems like I’ve regretted my decision now.
No. No more regrets. I’ve learned from those.
I followed Avery’s best friend, taking slow steps outside the door, having even this little bit of hope that--why not—she might wake up when I’m with her in the hospital.
Only one more step and I’m outside. I grasp the doorknob, and closed the door, inch by inch, letting it creak by the second. And, when it was finally time to close the door completely, I waited for three seconds.
Two.
Hoping.
One.
Wishing.
Zero.
Nothing.
And it shut with a soft thud.
◄◄◄
“What’s the most regretful thing that you’ve ever done?” She asked, smiling at me with the most sweetest smile my eyes have ever laid upon.
“Most regretful thing?” I repeated. “Hm…”
“Make sure that’s you’re honest, okay?”
“Okay, okay, I’ll make sure,” I smiled, and then continued. “It may probably be the time when I was still a shy boy. Like, when my feelings for you had these crazy repetitions by the year.”
“Wait, what?” She asked, confused but still smiling. Yes, I love this crazy girl who could mix even the most non-compatible emotions. I love her very much.
“Ah, I just remembered that you have no idea about that, I’m so sorry.” I ran my hand through my hair, and she stared at me expectantly.
I didn’t do anything.
“Well?” She said, “Go on! Explain.”
I laughed. “Okay, okay. Well… I’ve had this crazy crush on you when we were in first grade, since you were very pretty then. It’s most probably just an infatuation, but still. I liked you then, though I never got the chance to admit it to you, since there were many other boys who liked you then, talking to you and laughing with you that made me very jealous. And mind you that I was still young then.
“Then, after that, I had another crush on you on fourth grade. I don’t know why, but I just felt this crazy liking to you again, though again, you didn’t know about it, because I’m not the type of guy who says those types of feelings for a girl like it’s the easiest thing to do. So yeah.
“Then, I liked you again in sixth grade. I always asked where you were though I’m so glad they never told you that I kept on asking them. I always wanted to see you, to even catch a glimpse of you in between classes, but I didn’t get to do that all the time, sadly.
“And lastly, I liked you again in eighth grade, and Lucas and the others finally got to know about that. They kept on teasing me whenever you were near, which made me blush.”
“Ah, I remember that!” I said. “One time, I heard Lucas and Peter call me while you three were by the lockers. I just gave you guys a confused smile, and then continued walking.”
“Yeah well…” I smiled, then sighed. “Then I liked you again this year. But since I had these other crushes on other people and realized that only seeing them wouldn’t do anything, I decided to speak up and confess this time. And I am so glad I did, because it ended up to this.” I held up our hands and intertwined our fingers. “And I decided that you were ‘the one’, because why would I ever like somebody repeatedly if I didn’t really love them truly?”
She gave me a smile, and lay her head on my shoulder. “You’re so sweet.”
I laughed. “I’m still a bit of a shy guy, though.” I confessed, “but I’m trying to face my shyness now, because I know that being shy would only lead to nothing. Right?”
She nodded. “But don’t be too proud, okay?”
I curled my arm around her shoulders, and then put my hand above her head. “I promise.”
“Don’t ever leave me?” She asked. “I mean, not literally just… Well…”
I chuckled. “I get what you mean,” I said. “And yes, I won’t. I promise. And that will be the promise that I most definitely would never break.”
“I trust you, Austin. I really do.” She said, wrapping her arms around mine and hugging it tight. “You’re the only person I’ve given the most trust like this. Ever.” Then she squeezed her head on my arm, and I liked it. How much she always wants to be near me, because I feel the same, too.
“I’m honored.” I answered. And then I kissed her forehead, closing my eyes.
►►►
I broke so many promises, didn’t I?
***
Hi! Sorry for the late and shorter update, but I tried my best.:) I hope you liked this chapter, and if you do, please vote for it! <3 I also appreciate comments/suggestions/critiques. They always make my day or even help me in my writing skills.:) So please comment your thoughts about this week’s chapter, okay? <3
Oh! And btw, I’ll be having exams this week (starting tomorrow), so I might update late. Idrk. Bust after the exams, Summer Vacation will start so YAAAAAAAAY. *pops confetti* (Though there’s still this one obstacle called “exam week/hell week” though ;-;)
Thanks for reading! <3 I hope you’ll wait for the next chapter.:3
xRenma.