I smiled at my phone as her name flashed on the screen.
"Good afternoon," I said, watching Manhattan pass me by in a blur from the window in the backseat.
"Where are you?" She didn't sound panicked. Just annoyed. And beneath that annoyance—hurt.
I'd left her in bed this morning. Well... this afternoon. We'd slept in a lot longer than I'd anticipated, and knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to wake her anyway, I let her sleep in. Though I couldn't lie, I was disappointed. I'd been looking forward to waking up and spending some time with her and her mum before having to leave.
But last night's activities were certainly worth the loss.
"I have that meeting at the label today. I told you about that."
She was quiet for a few moments—yawning. "I forgot."
I smiled. "Did you just wake up?"
"Mhmm," she said, and her voice quivered with pleasure—like she was stretching. "And imagine my disappointment when I reached out to find that you weren't next to me."
There was a tantalizing quality to her words that told me she was feeling much more than disappointment, and it made me regret having left her all the more.
"I'm sorry, my girl," I said. "But I figured you needed the rest after last night."
She giggled, and even that noise sounded tempting. "And you didn't?"
Speaking about last night, of course, only made me think about last night. Madelyn on top of me, riding me, her hands in my hair, my mouth on her throat, her body wracked with tremors as she came...
We'd both passed out cold not long afterwards.
"I won't lie, I could've used several more hours." I ran a hand over my eyes. "Between the traveling and your mum's marching orders, I'm still exhausted."
Mads giggled again.
"But speaking of your mum," I started to say.
"Nooo," Mads whined. "I liked where this conversation was going before."
I glanced up at Jim, whose focus seemed to be entirely on the road ahead of us, bless him. I couldn't very well talk her through my absence and give poor Jim a show he didn't ask for or want.
But I knew exactly how to put her off that track anyway.
"You probably should've gone back into your room last night," I said in a low voice, hoping to spare Jim.
I imagined her eyes widening and her jaw dropping open in the silence that resounded over the line, and smirked.
Mads gasped. "No."
"She wasn't angry," I said quickly, then rethought it. "Exactly."
"Oh my God."
"It was fine, Mads, you don't—"
"No, no, no, no, no, Oh my God. I'm sorry, Harry. So sorry."
I was only smiling now because I was picturing her cheeks, her entire chest going red. "It's fine."
"It's not fine, Jesus, what did she say? Was it terrible? Was she nasty about it?" she asked, so embarrassed now, I wondered what other parts of her might be turning red. "Shit, I should've been up. I should've dealt with her. I knew I should've gone back to my room last night, but... Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have had to—"
"She wasn't mad," I said again, laughing a little to myself now. "Promise."
Madelyn kept quiet enough then for me to tell her what had happened this morning. How I'd been lucky enough to wake up an hour before I was supposed to leave just by chance, and how lucky it was that I'd had the foresight to call Jim before I'd even arrived the other day to make sure he could pick me up. How I'd showered, dressed, kissed a still-sleeping Mads goodbye before heading downstairs.
How Michelle had already been down there.
It was only in that moment—when Michelle's big brown eyes met mine with a smile—that I'd realized Mads and I had slept in the same room. Against her mother's wishes. That was when the anxiety and shame had set in.
She'd made breakfast, and had tortured me with small talk as she fixed me a plate of waffles and a side of sausages.
It had only been when she set the plate in front of me, a smile still on her face as she sipped from her cup of coffee, that I couldn't stand it any longer.
"I'm sorry," I'd said, twirling my fork around in my hand as my food steamed in front of me. "About last night."
Michelle had only looked at me over the top of her mug as she took another long sip.
"I—I know you didn't want us..." I was struggling at that point, searching for words that weren't "You didn't want us to sleep together."
Michelle hadn't given me the chance to finish that sentence. She'd just gripped my wrist, like she could tell how nervous I was, how sincerely sorry I felt, and said firmly, "It's alright."
Shock had been the only emotion that registered, then.
"I don't like it," Michelle said, letting go of my wrist. "I want to be clear on that. I'd rather you hadn't..." she broke off, too. "But you're both adults, and... and there's only so much I can do or say."
She was no longer meeting my eye at that point—busying herself with wiping down her already sparkling countertops. But she was attempting to be understanding about the situation, which was much more than I could've hoped for.
"So... you're not going to toss me and my bags out on the street?" I'd joked. A nervous quiver darted through me again as she looked up from the stove, the pan of sausages still in her hand, and met my eye.
She had been smirking too when she said, "Not today."
I still chuckled as I told Mads, glad to say that our conversation had become much more casual after that as I dug into the food she'd set in front of me, and Michelle had poured herself another cup of coffee.
Madelyn sighed, and I could hear the relief in it. "Well, that's good, I guess."
"It is good," I insisted as Jim made a right turn and had to stop short. He honked at the cab stopped in the middle of the street ahead of him.
"Now I have to face her," Mads said in my ear. "Oh God, why didn't I go back to my room last night?"
"I'm guessing that's a rhetorical question," I said with a smirk.
Mads grumbled a little bit more about how embarrassing facing her mum would be, which made me laugh.
"You'll be fine," I said, taking note that we were now only a couple blocks away from the label's offices on Madison Avenue. "Now will you do me a favor?"
"Sure," she said quickly, but there was a note of wariness to her voice. "What's up?"
"This meeting should only take an hour or so. Two at most." I glanced out the window as we pulled up to the building, and unbuckled my seatbelt. "Will you meet me afterwards?"
"Yeah," Mads said, still sounding slightly confused. "Of course. You mean in Manhattan?"
"Yeah, would you mind?"
"No, I'll start getting ready."
"I can send Jim back, if you'd like."
Mads clicked her tongue, and I could hear her moving about now. "No, don't do that. He just came from here."
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind." I glanced up at Jim. He was already looking at me through the rearview mirror.
"Not at all," he said, and glanced at his watch. "Tell her I'll be there in about an hour."
"Is he sure?" she asked, clearly having heard him. "Cause I don't mind—"
"He's sure," I said, watching as he nodded at me. I smiled. "And besides, I'll be able to tell him where to drop you off."
Silence.
"Why?" Mads asked, a smile in her voice now. "Is it a surprise?"
I grinned, too. "Mm, something like that."
"Well, is it a casual surprise, or should I get dressed up, cause I might need some more time if—"
"Definitely casual," I said, sensing that she was getting nervous. "Jeans and a t-shirt casual."
Mads blew out a breath. "Okay."
"Okay?" I asked, knowing that Madelyn didn't tend to do well with surprises of any kind. I smiled as I thought of that first time I'd surprised her—when she'd slammed the door in my face. And the second time when she'd berated me, calling me all kinds of names even as she kissed me senseless.
Even though she was the kind of person who needed to know, and needed to know now, I think it made successfully surprising her all the more fun.
Now, it was like she was holding her breath. And when the next torrent of words came out, I knew it was because she had been trying to stop the rush of them. "But what kind of surprise is it, like a date sort of surprise, or a—"
"Madelyn," I said with a smirk. "You're not going to get any information out of me, but you might make me late for this meeting, so just get in the car with Jim when he arrives, and I'll see you when I see you."
"Ooh," she said, and that tantalizing tone was back. "Have I told you how much I enjoy feisty Harry?"
I found myself fidgeting in my seat. "Alright, I'm hanging up."
Mads giggled, then. "Have a good meeting, babe."
"Thanks," I said. "Love you."
"Love you, too."
When I hung up the phone, Jim was smirking into the rearview, but he made no comment about the conversation. "So... where to next?"
I slid a piece of paper from my notebook and handed it up to him. "There's the address I'd like you to take her to. But don't tell her where you're going."
He looked at it and then up at me with a blank, slightly confused expression. "Not like she'd know where we're going anyway just from this."
I smiled at him and slapped a hand to his shoulder. "Don't show her anyway. She'll google it."
"What's this about?" he asked as I slid my sunglasses down over my eyes.
"The more you know, my friend, the more likely she is to get it out of you." I squeezed his shoulder now. "It's better if I don't say a word, trust me."
Jim chuckled as I got out of the car, and rolled down his window. "What, you don't think I can keep a secret?"
It wasn't that. Ever since we'd first met, I trusted him. And he'd never given me reason not to. Even today, there was no one waiting for me in front of the Columbia building, and I knew that had he wanted to, Jim could've had the whole world standing here for the right price.
"I just don't trust her not to wear you down," I said with a smirk. "Believe me, she's good at it."
It was a wonder I'd been able to keep this a secret for as long as I had. That was perhaps the only reason why the last several months apart had been good for us. Because as much as I loved surprising Mads, I was no longer very good at it. She sensed when I was keeping something from her now, and always, always got it out of me. Partly because our communication skills had only gotten stronger since we'd gotten back together, and partly because I didn't want to keep anything from her anymore.
But this... this wasn't going to hurt her. Or me. Or us.
This was only going to make everything better. I was sure of it.
The meeting didn't take nearly as long as I'd anticipated, and the album was officially slated for a late summer/early fall release. Promo would start as early as the beginning of August, and a worldwide tour was in the works for December through May of next year. And as exciting as it all was, it was also daunting.
Each time I reached this point—where the creation was done and all that was left was for the world to hear it—I was nervous. I'd made the record that I wanted to make and I was comfortable knowing that. But that didn't mean I didn't care whether or not people liked it. I wanted people to like it.
But I wouldn't think about that now. Not as I waited for her just outside of the up-until-now secret location, hoping against hope that no one would recognize me before she got here.
All the work ahead of me—the release of the album, the promotion, the touring—meant something else now, too. It wasn't just that I'd be putting my music out there again, or that I'd be venturing out into the world to perform it. It meant that I'd be leaving her behind. That the second half of this year would be largely spent apart. I'd already thought about inviting her to come with me on the tour, and maybe she would be able to join me for some of it, but we would be apart for most of it. I knew that. I knew that she'd want to keep working, and I respected it.
We'd done the separation before—we'd done it just these last few months—and we'd do it again.
But the thought also made me restless. Restless for time. More of it. Restless to do with her everything that I wanted to do. Restless to have with her everything that I'd envisioned we'd have together. My life would never be normal, and by virtue of that, neither would hers. I wanted to be okay with that, but sometimes, I just wasn't. Despite all that I was doing, all of my success, sometimes I just wanted the normality of loving my girlfriend. Of spending time with her. Of growing with her and taking on new things together. Making strides in this world together. Finding successes and working through failures as a couple, and loving each other all the while. Just like everyone else.
These last four years of knowing her, loving her, had certainly changed me. We'd gone through our share of troubles. We'd learned that we were better together than we were apart, no matter what we each faced in our individual lives. We'd learned from our mistakes. But we hadn't ever really taken solid steps in our relationship because we'd never really had the time to. The break was a large chunk of the reason why, but even when we were together, we spent more time in different states, countries, than we did actually together. So when we were in the same place, our relationship was more about soaking each other up than it was about moving forward in any real way.
Emotionally, mentally—we'd grown by leaps and bounds. But in terms of progression, in terms of living our lives together and making our dreams become a reality as a couple—we were in the same place we were before the break. Seeing each other when we could in hotel rooms, or her house, or my house, or my mum's house, and counting down the days until it was time to say goodbye, and then doing it all over again.
It was time to move forward. I wanted to move forward. I was restless, needing to move forward.
I bounced on the balls of my feet now, just thinking about it.
The home we'd have. The life we'd lead. The children clinging to our hands. Her hand. They'd look like her. Please God, let them look like her. The struggles we'd face, the pride we'd feel, the love we'd have for one another. For each person in our family. I wanted it so badly, everything in me seemed to reach for it—this elusive dream that we hadn't done anything to achieve yet—and my whole body was seized by the desire for it.
That was when Jim's car pulled up.
Mads stepped out not a minute later, jeans clinging to her legs, an off-the-shoulder white top revealing enough skin that I lost focus for a moment as I gazed at her, at the curves of her shoulders and neck, which was craned back as she took in the building behind me.
She shut the door of Jim's car and met my eye.
"Is this where you kill me?" she asked with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes, and rather than answer her question, waved at Jim. "Thank you," I called.
He smiled back. "You need me to wait around?"
"No," I said as she walked closer, as her fingers found mine. A nervous and excited tremor tore through me. "Thanks, but we'll probably grab a bite to eat, too. I'll call you later."
"You got it," Jim said. "Have fun, you two."
"Bye," Mads called, smiling his way as she stood closer to me. The scent of coconuts washed over me, and the waves in her hair told me she'd taken more time than Jim had more than likely planned for.
She looked at me, then, her blue eyes surrounded by long, curled lashes. "So?" she asked, turning to face the building again. "What is this place?"
She stared at the brick, at the black window panes before us, and I turned, too, the cobblestone street now at our backs.
"You'll see," I said, tugging her forward into the building.
No matter how nervous I still tended to get before shows or album releases, it didn't even compare to the intensity of the nerves firing off now, anticipating how she would react, what she would think, what she would say...
I needed it to be a good reaction, because that might mean she was as restless as I was. That she was ready to move forward just like I was. That we were completely, one-hundred percent on the same page.
"This is fancy," she remarked as we strode into the lobby. I nodded to the doorman.
Mads peppered me with questions as we waited for the elevator.
"Is this a hotel?
"No."
"A spa?"
"No."
"Are we taking some kind of weird couple's class?"
"No."
The elevator doors opened.
"Then, what is it?"
We stepped inside.
"You'll see."
Mads groaned. "Just tell me."
I only chuckled.
Mads crossed her arms, and stayed quiet for a moment, the only sound between us the slight whir of the elevator as it rose, and the blood pounding in my ears.
"Is this going to be some impressive light show or something?"
I laughed, completely flabbergasted as to where she'd come up with that. "What?"
"You know, like in movies, when the guy brings the girl to some undisclosed location and then he—"
Her eyes went wide as she broke off.
I was alarmed now. "What?"
"Nothing," she said quickly, looking down at the floor. Her cheeks had gone pink.
I waited a moment to see if she would clarify, but when she didn't, I reached for her, touched her arm. "You'll find out in just a couple seconds, okay? Try to relax."
"Sure," she said, a little more breathless now. "Yeah. I can do that."
I chuckled again, because even her voice sounded tense. "I forget how much you hate surprises."
"No, you don't," she murmured as the elevator stopped. "You love to surprise me because you know I hate it."
I was still laughing as I said, "That may or may not be true."
"It is true," she said as I took her hand and led her out of the elevator and into the hallway. There were only two doors to go to, and I watched her notice it, my nerves firing off like crazy. I was practically bouncing again as I headed for the further door.
"Well, I was thinking this was an apartment building, but now I'm starting to—" She broke off again as I removed a key from my pocket, looking completely perplexed.
I smiled at her before I unlocked the farther door and pushed it open.
And I led her inside.
I couldn't tell if Mads was breathing as she took in the apartment surrounding us now, and I wasn't sure I was breathing at full capacity either as I closed the door behind us and stepped up beside her, not wanting to miss a moment of her taking everything in.
Those blue eyes wandered all the way up to the white ceiling of the hallway first, and she didn't walk forward until I was just beside her, holding her hand. She glanced through the open door as we passed the first bedroom, and looked at me quickly after noting what it was.
I smiled and led her down the hallway to our right, passing a bathroom and an office space before it opened up into the living room—the kitchen just beside it.
Madelyn's eyes went up the ceiling again, traveling down the wooden beams before touching on the arched windows where sunlight streamed inside. The room was mostly empty save for a few pieces of furniture I'd had delivered over the last several months when someone was around to collect them. She walked further into the room, letting go of my hand as she studied the gleaming white granite island in the kitchen, the stainless steel appliances, the deep brown wood of the cabinetry.
She sucked in a breath, touched a wooden beam, and turned to look at me with wide eyes.
"What is this?" she asked, a quiver in her voice that told me she was putting it all together in her mind.
I only smiled and raised my hand again, cocking my head towards the hallway. "Come with me."
"Harry," she said, a warning note in her voice. But she listened, and took my hand.
"I want you to see something else," I said, curling my fingers around hers. Her breath had quickened, and I was half-waiting for more questions as I led her back towards the first hallway, past another bedroom and a huge bathroom that made her suck in a breath as she glanced into it. I couldn't stop smiling.
I clasped both her hands in mine as I pushed open that last door at the end of the hall, and tugged her into the room after me. Her eyes swept over it, and her breathing came much faster as she took it all in—as understanding seemed to wash over her.
It was huge, this room—my favorite one in the apartment. And empty. Still totally empty. Sunlight poured inside through the floor to ceiling window, revealing a beautiful view of the city outside. Mads stepped toward that window in something like a trance, and as she moved through the expanse of the white and beige room, she looked exactly as I had pictured her when I came to see this house. And I had the swelling feeling in my chest that I'd hoped I would have at the sight.
She turned to face me once she reached the window, once she'd studied the view for a moment. Her mouth was ajar, and she still seemed stunned, but also looked like she understood exactly what all this was, just wasn't sure she could believe it.
Her hands shook slightly as she tangled them together in front of her. "Wha—what is—"
"It's an apartment," I said coyly, watching as frustration seemed to cloud her look of shock. I stepped forward with a grin, thoroughly scared out of my mind now. "It's..." I waited until I was standing right next to her. "It's our apartment, Mads."
Her eyes widened impossibly more, and her breath came even faster, even more staggered. "I—you—what?"
I took her hands in mine, kissed her knuckles. "It's ours, Madelyn. I bought it months ago."
"You—" she glanced around. "Why—"
"I only didn't tell you because I knew you would worry over it. Tell me that I shouldn't," I kept my voice calm, placating, and I curled her hair around her ear as she studied the bedroom again. "And besides, you know how much I love surprising you."
She looked at me again. "Ours?"
I smiled. I hadn't stopped yet. "Ours," I confirmed, stepping closer to her, ready for her excitement, ready to move forward, ready for a smile to overtake her mouth and for her to hug and kiss me and thank me.
But Mads didn't do any of that. Instead, she pulled away. "You—you mean yours."
Confusion wasn't the only thing that morphed my features—so did sadness. "No," I said, stepping forward again, "No, it's—"
"I can't—" her chest was heaving as she glanced around, as she looked out the window again, totally panicked now, "—I can't afford this place, Harry, I—I can't contribute nearly enough to cover—"
I stepped forward, took her face in my hands. "You don't have to—"
"Of course I do," she said, shaking me off. But I was relieved. She wasn't saying she didn't want it, or that she didn't love it. These worries I could handle. "I mean," a hand went up to her forehead in her panicked state, "this room is bigger than the apartment I shared with Emily. Just this single room. How the hell am I supposed to—"
"You're not," I said quickly, trying to talk her down. "You're not supposed to do anything."
"Stop saying that!" she exclaimed, her eyes squeezed shut in frustration now. "Of course I am! That's what normal relationships are. How they work. We're supposed to be equals. We're supposed to make decisions together. We're supposed to contribute an equal amount of—"
"But that's just it," I said, stepping forward again, grabbing her face. She didn't pull away this time, and I stepped even closer to her—so that she had nowhere to look but at me. "We're not normal, Madelyn. And I'm sorry, but we never will be."
She closed her eyes again, and this time, my heart broke because tears slipped out of them.
"You know that. I know you know that. But do you know what else that means?" I asked, loosening my grip on her cheeks, softly caressing her cheekbones now, beckoning her to open her eyes again. She did. "It means that I can do more for you, and I won't apologize for that. It means that I can look out for you, for us—take care of us in a way few others can, and I won't apologize for that either."
She stayed quiet, let that sink in, and I smiled because I could sense her defenses toppling.
I pressed my forehead to hers, tried to calm my racing heart. Her hands went to my arms.
I kissed her quickly, there in the middle of the room I'd imagined us waking up in, the room I'd imagined us making love in, the room I'd imagined filled with her laughter, with the sound of her footsteps, with the smell of coconuts...
She was breathing more normally by the time I pulled away, and her lips followed as if she wanted to continue.
I smiled. Brushed her hair back away from her face.
"We're lucky," I said, and it was almost a whisper despite the fact that there was no one else in the apartment with us. "We're so lucky, Mads, and I won't take it for granted. Because even though we'll never be normal, I don't think a love like ours was meant to be normal, you know?"
I felt the truth of it as the words came out of my mouth, and looked into her eyes to see total and complete understanding. What we had between us—that love—it wasn't something that everyone got to have. It wasn't something that everyone got to feel. Even though I wished, so sincerely, that everyone could.
And we were lucky. So lucky to be able to feel it for each other.
She touched her lips to mine this time, and it was just as quick a kiss, but one that served to dissolve whatever was left of my anxiety over this decision and her reaction to it.
Mads sniffled a little as she pulled away, the last of her tears gone as she started to smile up at me.
I ran my thumb over her cheek again. "I'm lucky," I said, driving the point home. "To have you in my life. To have your love." I glanced around at the bedroom. "And this... this is just a small token of that. Of how much I believe in our future, and how much I want that future with you."
Her eyes had filled up again, but she was still smiling, her hands still on my arms. I felt her fingers clench. "Harry... it's too much, it's..."
"Do you not like it?"
"Wha—? No, that's not it, I—"
"Should I have waited to pick out something with you?" I asked, nervous again. "Because I was sure you'd like this one. But if you don't, we can—"
"What, return it?" she joked.
But I was entirely serious. "We can if you want."
Mads laughed, gripped my arms even harder as she shook her head. But she looked into my eyes as she said, "I love it, Harry."
I sucked in a breath.
"It's—" she glanced around again, a smile on her lips as she shook her head. "It's more than I even could've imagined."
I let that same breath out.
She giggled a little at the relief that was certainly written all over my face.
"But..."
I looked at her.
She waited, then said carefully, "It doesn't feel right. Taking this from you, it—"
"You're not taking anything," I said firmly, needing that to be understood. "I did this for us. It's time, isn't it? For us to take this step forward?"
"Yes, but—"
"But nothing," I said, holding her by the waist now. And a zing of anxiety surged through me again as I made myself ask, "Look... do you see this going forward?"
Her eyes widened. "What, us?"
I nodded.
"Jesus, Harry, of course I do!" She squeezed her eyes shut now. "God, I didn't mean—"
"Do you see us getting married?" I asked, point blank.
Her eyes went wide again, and she clearly stumbled for a moment, searching for words for long enough that I felt my whole being deflate.
I was so sure we were on the same page.
"Yes," she whispered, and then there was a sudden shift in her eyes. A look of anticipation. "Yes, I—I do."
My heart lurched toward her.
"I do, too," I said softly. "And for all those reasons, I thought it was high-time we took a step to get us there." I gestured around at the bedroom. Mads did, too. "Don't you see? You're not taking anything from me." I touched her face again. Her eyes met mine. "You're only giving me... everything I've ever wanted."
A smile touched the corner of her lips.
"So, this..." I looked around. "This is the least I can do. My first real investment in our future. In us." Her eyes had filled once more, and I touched her mouth with my thumb. "And I'm not saying you have to move in tomorrow or that we have to rush into anything more. But I feel like it's time we take a step towards all that, Mads, and... this apartment, this commitment—being closer to you is the only way to do that."
Madelyn was quiet for so long then, I had time to get nervous again. Time to think too much. Time to worry that I'd scared her so thoroughly, all she would want to do was take a step backwards.
But her lips quirked up at the corners. "So... you're not proposing then?"
I almost stumbled backwards, I was so shocked.
"You—did you expect me to?"
"Well," she shrugged as if that explained it all. When all I did was stare at her, she scoffed. "A big surprise, a secret location, a beautiful apartment, and talk of marriage? What was I left to think?"
"I—you—" She was right. And that moment in the elevator, after she'd asked me about the light show—she'd stopped herself short. Her eyes had gone wide. Of course it had seemed like I was going to propose. "Shit."
She laughed. "It's okay. I—I don't want to say I'm relieved that wasn't the plan because I love you and I want to marry you, but I—"
I looked at her when she caught herself again, when she realized what she'd said. And I felt my heart stop as the same realization came over me.
If I'd asked—if that had been the plan and I'd gotten down on one knee once we were in here—she would've said yes.
Mads looked down at the ground, her cheeks going pink. "That, uh... that just would've been a lot for one day," she said, finishing her thought.
I chuckled, so ecstatic now I thought I might just bounce out of my shoes. "Right, well... just the apartment for today, then."
"Yeah," she said, and shifted around on her feet for a moment. Her whole chest had gone red, too. She looked around again after a few moments. "So, this is ours, huh?"
I tried to regain my bearings. I felt like I was standing on a ship being tossed about by undulating waves.
"It's ours," I confirmed, following her slowly as she really took in the room now. "And we can furnish it however you like."
"I'll pay for some it," she said, staring me down in a way that assured me there would be trouble if I said no.
"Okay," I said with a laugh.
"I'll have to," she said, still glancing around the room. "You won't really be here regularly enough, right?"
It brought my mood crashing back down from it's height. "Some of the time."
Mads went quiet again. Thoughtful. "I think I'll feel weird being here without you."
My heart sunk. "You—you don't have to stay here, Mads. You can take as much time as you want moving in. I know how hard it'll be for you to leave your mum."
Mads only nodded.
So, I felt the need to rush on. "I've had a key made for you, but I want you to understand there's no pressure, alright? You don't even have to think of it as yours yet, if that's easier. Just... pop in like you would for a friend while they were away, you know? Check the oven... Bring in the mail... Feed the cat..."
"You don't have a cat."
I shrugged. "I can get a cat."
Mads giggled then, shook her head, and walked towards me. "You're ridiculous."
She looped her arms around my neck and kissed me. I kissed her firmly back and held her close when she pulled away. She glanced around the room again.
"It's weird, but..." she looked at me. "It does feel like mine already. The second I walked in here, even though I didn't know what it was, I felt it. That home-y feeling."
I squeezed her waist, my heart leaping up to my throat.
"Yeah," I said, watching her look around, recalling the way I'd imagined I would feel seeing her here, and knowing for sure now that that feeling didn't hold a candle to this one. "I felt it, too. That's why I bought it."
Mads looked into my eyes, gave me a warm smile, and slid her hands down my chest. I could see there were tears in her eyes again, but when she spoke, it was clear she didn't want me to acknowledge them.
"Right," she said. "Any more surprises in the works? Because I'd like to start preparing myself now."
Shit.
"Oh, er..."
"That's a yes," she said, a smirk on her lips that did its best to mask her anxiety.
I fingered the small envelope I'd stuck in my back pocket, slid it out to hold it in from of me. "It's nothing, it's just, uh—a birthday present."
Mads snatched the envelope from me, that anxiety clear in her eyes as she ran her hands over it. "Because this wasn't a birthday present?"
"This is just a more immediate one," I said, watching as she lifted the tickets out.
"More immediate than an apartment you've already bought?" The sarcasm was evident in her words, but her eyes went wide again as she looked at me. "We're going to England?"
My shoulders rose up around my ears and my smile felt like a grimace as I said weakly, "Surprise!"
We wouldn't be going until the beginning of August—after she was finished teaching her summer class. My mum had been wanting us to come, and I figured it was the best time to do it. Of course, I probably should've thought through the delivery of everything a bit more.
"Harry Styles... you're lucky I love you." To my astonishing relief, Mads smiled as she tucked the plane tickets back into the envelope. But she was shaking her head. "Cause if I didn't, I'd probably have to kill you."
___
Author's Note:
I'd just like to take a moment to thank everyone for not calling me out on my inability to count correctly last week. I said there were 5 chapters left when there were CLEARLY 6 including this one. NOW, there are 5 chapters left. (At least, I think so lmao)
Also, I'm going to say this again because too many people didn't know last chapter, there WILL be a third book in this series! I'm just not ready to part with these two yet, and I'm really excited and grateful to see that so many of you aren't either!
Speaking of these two... ON A SCALE OF 1 TO HARRY ON THE ROOF OF A BUILDING IN LONDON IN A VELVET SUIT SINGING TWO GHOSTS, HOW RIDICULOUS WERE YOUR FEELS WITH THIS CHAPTER?? Cause seriously, I FELT A LOT OF FEELINGS. Aaaand I hate myself a lil.
(A lot)
So please vote and comment if you feel so inclined, and let me know your thoughts! I'm really eager to read them, and excited to say I'm STILL all caught up with comments (GO ME). And I'll be posting a bit more to Maddie's Journal this weekend, too, so look out for that if you're interested. AND I'll just mention my Radish stories once more if anyone is looking for something to read! The first one, Somewhere in the Middle, is completed and FREE on Radish, and we're getting very close to the halfway point of the second one, Crossing Boundaries. So check them out if you feel like it! A huge chunk of the first one is posted here if you want to dip your toe first :)
As always, your support, your love, and your excitement are all so tangible to me when I hear from you, and I couldn't be more grateful! We've still got a lot left to look forward to in this world, so I hope you're down to come along for the rest of the ride with me :) AND maybe for some other worlds in the very near future ;)
Lots and lots of love to you babes. I hope you had a wonderful week, and have an AMAZING weekend. Till next Friday. xx