A/N: Here's the second chapter, but it's not related to the first, just a different side to how Alec would view their breakup, but maybe a few months/a couple years after the initial act. This side of Alec I doubt would ever happen, I just had the idea for it. The song is "Jar of Hearts" also by Christina Perri. Hope you enjoy it!
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The Two Sides of Alec
Chapter 2, Song 2---"Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri
Alec's POV
I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
It had been so long since their breakup. Months, years, Alec wasn't really sure, and he didn't care either. In fact, the only reason he was even thinking about it was because the man who'd stolen---and then broken---his heart so long ago was sitting across the room.
He could feel said warlock's eyes on him, burning holes in his head, but he simply turned it away, pretending to not notice. Alec knew that if he met those gorgeous, gold-green eyes, he'd bring up all kinds of feelings he'd been holding at bay and running from ever since that night.
Most of it would've been regret.
Regret that he'd ever gone to that warlock's party with Izzy, Simon, Jace, and Clary. Regret that he'd ever called the warlock back. Regret that he'd wasted his first kiss on that Downworlder scum. Regret that he'd allowed himself to love the warlock, and therefore let him steal his heart, turning him into a ghost of himself. Once his heart was stolen and broken, it was too late for him. There was nothing he could do, except try and forget. He couldn't love anymore, but he could ignore the pain for his own sake.
Most of all though, would be sadness that the warlock had lost the best love he'd ever had, the only one he'd ever had.
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
So, because of the warlock he was now in a room with, Alec had to learn to live without love. Not only in a romantic aspect, but in a familial way as well. After that warlock, after everything he'd done, Alec couldn't bring himself to love his family in quite the same way. It was never real, just a show he put on for them to make his siblings feel better.
But even after all that the warlock had taken from him, after all the trouble he'd caused, it seemed he only wanted more.
Alec wondered who that Downworlder thought he was? He'd watched his old lover carefully at first, when he still was in pain from the breakup and he still cared. All Alec had seen was his warlock running around, partying around, sleeping around, with anyone and everyone. But he'd never stay long. After one or two days, he'd get bored and run off to the next victim, leaving the last one in a similar state as Alec.
That villain ran around, collecting his jar of hearts, hearts he stole, crushed, and consumed in his path, ruining all chances of love for those in his wake.
Alec knew that one day, his actions would have consequences. He knew that one day, someone would punish the warlock for all his wrongdoings, it just wouldn't be him. Maybe it would be the warlock himself. Guilt could be buried down deep and left to rot, but it eventually would rise back up and consume. It consumed even the most cold hearted, sooner or later.
All Alec hoped was that the cretin would never come back for him. He was done with all that warlock's crap, he just wanted his revenge now. He wanted that man to get his just desserts.
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
And I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
It was a few weeks after that Council meeting where he'd seen the warlock again, and Alec was sitting in a Downworlder bar. Yeah, not exactly his thing, but he was in the mood for a drink and according to Izzy, this was a good place to hear some reliable gossip.
He sat down at the bar, ordered a beer, and looked around detachedly. The bartender slid his drink down to him, and he downed it in a few gulps. Then he just sat, waiting for some good gossip to eavesdrop on. Surprisingly enough though, the gossiper came right to him.
"Hey, you're that Alexander Lightwood, right?" the bartender asked, mixing a drink for another customer.
"Uh, yeah. Why?" Alec asked wearily. The bartender was---of course---a Downworlder. He was actually a werewolf, a scary looking one at that.
"Well, I had a fellow in hear the other day asking about you. He was a warlock, something Bane I think? You know the guy?"
Alec dug his nails into the tabletop. "Yes, I know the warlock. Do you know why he was looking for me?"
"Word on the street is that he's looking for you because he's interested in you. Though from what I've heard about him, I'd recommend you stay away from him, wouldn't want you to get hurt like all his other 'interests,'" the bartender winked at him, and handed the other customer his drink.
Alec attempted a smile. "Thanks for the heads up." He left immediately after that.
So, the warlock was looking for him, huh? Fat chance of anything coming out of that. If that warlock got anywhere within punching distance, he'd show him just how much it hurt to get your heart beat around.
Alec was much too strong and too smart to come crawling back to that man like he wanted him to. He'd never be that warlock's Shawdowhunter-toy ever again.
And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Now it was too late, with all the dodging around he'd been doing to avoid the warlock, his memories had resurfaced. There was no stopping it now. He'd have to deal with whatever phantom pain his chest would have from where his heart was missing.
Alec remembered how he'd felt for the first few months or so after the breakup. It had felt like his heart was being ripped into pieces, little by little, each shred disappearing after being torn away by the warlock. He didn't want to do anything for a long time, too focused on his own pain and misery.
But one day, when his heart was pretty much gone, he'd decided he'd keep living. He shouldn't have had to give up his whole life because of one warlock. One stupid mistake wasn't going to kill him (as long as it wasn't on a hunt).
It took a while, but he'd eventually pulled himself together enough to face the world. He wasn't going to hide, fearing everything, anymore. That shy, flustered, nervous little teenager was gone. He was now a completely different person, one who built walls so strong, they were impenetrable by even himself, one who laughed right in death's face, daring it to come and take his life. Someone who was stronger, braver, and smarter. Alec was finally the man he'd wanted to be his whole life.
He had to let that light back into his eyes, though it was different now. No longer were his eyes shining with an innocent light, betraying his every emotion. Now they were hardened with his experiences, flashing like the cold, hard ice.
In all honesty, while he was remembering those months, he wished he'd missed that feeling of kissing the warlock for the first time. He wished he'd missed that fluttering of his heart, feeling first love, so it felt like he even still had one. Guess he didn't.
That jerk had made him all these useless promises, and he'd broken them right along with his heart. Alec hated how childish he'd been, that he'd let himself believe that the warlock truly cared about him. He was one in a long list of lovers, one more heart in the jar. The promises that they'd be together forevermore, that he was loved, that he was worth loving, that he was beautiful and strong, they were all lies. Horrible lies told by a master of treachery.
Well, that warlock could say whatever he wanted. He could beg like a dog for as long as he wanted, Alec didn't care. He wouldn't give in, he would never go back. That warlock would never get him back.
He could bother Alec all he wanted, he just wished the stupid man would leave all those other people alone. He sucked up hearts and tore love apart like a monster, he WAS a monster. A monster that needed to be stopped. That warlock had no idea who he was, did he? Actually, now Alec wanted him to just go away, and never bother anyone again. To never come back, to vanish, leaving the world a better place.
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
"Who do you think you are?" Alec finally said, staring straight into the eyes of the most revolting thing on the planet.
"Alec, please, let me explain-"
He cut the warlock off, "No, let me explain something to you. I don't know who you think you are, or what you think you're doing, but you need to wake up and take a look around. You've been ruining people's lives for the past 800 years. You take advantage of poor, innocent people, and leave them as ghosts of who they were. You consume everything in your path, eating hearts and spitting out the shells of the people you used. You used ME. I thought you cared about me, but I was so wrong. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. You should leave. I'm not taking you back. Ever."
"Alec, please, I'm begging you-" the monster pleaded.
"Oh, well I'm TELLING you. Don't ever come back for me, in fact, don't ever come back at all. You should just go. No one around here wants to see you. They all have either been victims of yours, or they know what you've done, and hate you. Including me. I hate you, and I want you to leave. Now."
"You don't understand what you're doing-"
"Oh I understand PERFECTLY well. I'm saving the hearts of whoever you haven't already corrupted. I'm stopping you in your tracks. I'm bringing up those feelings of guilt you've been hiding for so long, aren't I? I'm not that innocent little boy you met all that time ago. And it's YOUR FAULT!" Alec yelled.
The warlock dropped to the ground, clutching his chest, "I-"
"Now you know what it feels like to be consumed. The guilt of 800 years is crashing down on you, giving you all the pain you deserve. This is what it feels like to be in pain. You deserve every bit of it, MAGNUS BANE."
Magnus's eyes widened at the use of his name. Alec was honestly a little surprised at himself. He hadn't said or even thought that name in such a long time.
"Now get out of here. I don't want to see your face ever again." Without looking back, Alec turned, and walked away. Suddenly, he felt a warmth in his chest. A swell of pride for himself, and...something he hadn't felt in a long time. LOVE.
He rushed to the Institute, slamming into Izzy's room.
"Alec? What is it? What's wrong?" his sister asked, concern lacing her expression.
Alec wrapped her in a giant hug, and whispered, "It's back."
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A/N: Please don't hate me for this! I didn't want to make Magnus the bad guy, but I kind of had to. Sorry!!!! I was crying while writing this though, probably short-circuited my iPad...
Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns Alec, Magnus, and Isabelle! Christina Perri owns "Jar of Hearts." I just like to twist their creations to suit my own purposes.