11-Justin
I was such a fucking idiot. I knew I shouldn't have demanded blind trust from Zoe, but when she voiced her concerns word-vomit came out of my mouth. Then I left. I fucking left her. Again. What the hell was wrong with me? I hadn't been lying to her or myself when I told her that I love her. Yet, at the first argument, I just ship out? No wonder she didn't trust me. I wouldn't trust me either. I'd been back in California for a week and I'd been too stubborn to call her. In my defense, she hadn't called me either. However, I was the idiot here, so I didn't really blame her. I'd be lucky if she hadn't decided to just cut me loose for good.
The second we got back, Harry had us in the studio and had be demanding new material from us. I couldn't concentrate, because my mind and heart was in Kansas, with Zoe. So what we were coming up with was pure junk, at least on my end, and everyone was past frustrated with me. Was I going to be forced out of the band? I had said I didn't really want out, but I was miserable here without Zoe. Maybe I should just quit. They could find a replacement for me. I was sure of it. I felt gutted at the thought, but I wanted what was best for the band and if I couldn't get my head out of my ass, then I didn't want to bring them down with me.
"Alright! Stop! Just fucking stop! Ace, you've got to stop this fucking moping. Whatever it is that you need, let me know. Is it that girl? Do I need to ship her out here? What is it?" Harry demanded, as I apparently fucked up yet another practice.
I sighed, "I doubt she'd come out here at this point."
"So it is the girl! For fuck sake, there are a zillion woman in this world! Pick one that's right outside and let's move on!" Harry demanded.
I stood up, "Do you know what? Fuck you, Harry."
I set my guitar down and walked out of the room. Before the door could close, I heard Blaze explain, "He's in love, Man."
Then Harry's responsive groan, "Fuck me."
I kept going, until I reached the break room. I opened the refrigerator, feeling parched, but I didn't want water or Gatorade. I needed a fucking beer. I shut the fridge door and exited the room again, heading for the elevator. As I reached the main floor, I found Blaze waiting for me. The fucker must have sprinted down the stairs. I glared, "What?"
He shrugged, "Nothing. Where you going?"
"To get a beer."
"Alright, I'll come too." He said.
I continued out, not caring if he followed or not. Our security detail, instantly fell into step beside up without a word. That had taken some getting used to and I still wasn't completely comfortable with it, but when a swarm of women started our way, I felt grateful for their interception. Three minutes later, we entered a bar down the street. We sat at the bar, pulling our baseball caps low on our faces, hoping for a little peace. We sipped on our beers in silence. I knew Blaze and I knew he wouldn't give me forever to get my head out of my ass.
With a sigh, I asked, "Do I need to quit the band?"
He shrugged, "I don't know. I don't want you to, but do you think you'll be able to get your head back on straight sooner rather than later? I'm with Harry when he said we need to come back with a follow up album as quickly as possible. We're on top of the charts right now and I'd like to keep it that way."
"I fucked up with Zoe." I admit out loud.
"Yea, you did." He agreed and I gave him a sharp glance. He shrugged, "I overheard part of your conversation the other day. You can't expect her to trust that you went from man-whore to one-woman in a week's time. I understand her concern."
"I know, it just rubbed me wrong when she didn't trust me. I'd never accuse her of cheating in a weak moment."
"Dude, you're a rock star and she's a high school math teacher, in Podunk USA, no comparison. I mean, she seems great and has some seriously killer legs, but come on."
"You looked at her legs?" I growled.
"Easy, Dude, I'm not going to scam on your woman. You do need to get your shit figured out though. If you need to take a couple more days off to head back to her and work things out, I'd understand, but we need you back as soon as possible."
"Yea, ok, maybe I will head back." I said, but I didn't feel any enthusiasm. I had no doubt I'd have hell to pay with Zoe for my ridiculous behavior and I'd done exactly what I shouldn't have done. I left her...again. Worse, this time I hadn't just made out with her, I'd took her to bed and still I had left.
After we finished our beer, we headed back to the studio. There was a group of girls outside, which was normal. We pushed through them and I ignored as they tried to reach for us and hollered our names. I had no patience for it today. I pushed through the door and then heard Blaze chuckle, "Damn Dude, you really are out of it if you missed this in the crowd."
I turned and almost fell over. Blaze had snagged Zoe Andrews by the wrist and pulled her inside with us. I took her in like she was a glass of ice water and I hadn't had a drop in weeks. Then I stepped toward her and choked, "What the hell happened to your eye?"
Her right eye was swollen and a dark bruise was underneath. Then I noticed one arm was in a sling. She looked at the floor before looking up at me and whispered one word, "Owen."
"That fucker. I'll kill him." I growled.
She shook her head, "You won't be able to get to him. He's locked behind bars and won't be getting out anytime soon. He came after me at the school. There were witnesses this time."
"I'm still going to kill him." I promised. "I can't believe he actually publically attacked you. Apparently, he isn't used to anyone standing up to him and you caused him to finally snap?" Then I realized something else and blurted, sounding stupid, "You're in California."
She chuckled, "Yes, um, I...wasn't functioning too well without you, so I thought, what the hell?"
"What the hell, huh?" I asked, but stepped close to her, so were nose-to-nose. She smelled heavenly.
She smiled, "I missed you and, um, I decided...that is, if you still want me, I'd like to try with you. If the offer is still open, I'd like to move here and—"
I cut her off by slanting my lips across hers. I didn't need to hear anything else. I'd fucked up, by leaving her, but she'd come after me. That said a lot about where her feelings lay and I was so damned grateful. I was careful about her injuries, but I gently pulled her closer. I couldn't get her close enough, but with the crowd outside and the few people that were milling around this lobby, I didn't think it would be a good idea to get her as close to her as I wanted.
When I lifted my lips from hers, I rested my forehead against hers and whispered, for her ears alone, "I love you, Zoe Andrews. I don't care how, but I promise, we'll work this out. You can trust me. I'll prove it to you. I don't want anyone, but you."
Zoe smiled and her eyes filled with tears, "I do trust you, Justin. I was just scared. Owen burned me, bad, with his cheating."
I winced, "No, Zoe, you don't have to explain. I was a complete jackass. I didn't even consider that you'd have trust issues because of what that fucker did to you. No worries. I promise that I'll find some patience while you learn that you can trust me. I just want you with me. Whatever it takes to make that happen. I know I'm asking a lot, for you to leave your job, family, and home, but I promise to spend every second possible making sure you don't regret your decision."
Her smile widened, "I won't regret it. I want this."
"This is sweet and all, but Harry just texted me and he wants us back up there." Blaze interrupted.
I groaned, "You have a bad habit of interrupting us, Dude."
Blaze shrugged, "If she's joining you, she'll have to get used to it."
I shook my head, took Zoe's hand, and together we entered the elevator. As we rode our way up, I felt lighter than I had since leaving her a week ago. I would never leave her again. I was miserable without her. When the elevator slid open, Harry and the rest of the band were waiting. Their eyes widened, upon seeing Zoe. I stepped out and said, "Harry, this is Zoe."
"What the fuck, Man? Do you have a time machine or something? How the hell did you already go get her from fucking Kansas?" Harry frowned in confusion.
I shook my head, "She was waiting for me outside."
"Good. So you're good now. You can get back to fucking work like normal and stop moping around like a sad fucking puppy?" Harry glared.
I sighed, but winked at Zoe and dutifully said, "Yes Harry."