Song recommended for chapter: We All Want Love by Rihanna
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SIX MONTHS LATER
The Miami sun beats down on me like a relentless tyrant. It soaks up my pores and causes a trail of sweat to travel down my temple and splash against the lounge chair beneath me. I shift in the chair and tip the white floppy hat I despise, but appreciate at the moment, down and pick up my ice-cold lemonade. In my head, I imagine I'm sitting on top of a submarine in the middle of Alaskan waters. But it does nothing to help the sun, that feels like it's cranking up in the heat department. Jesus, I think to myself, If I knew Miami would be so hot, I would have visited our cabin in Greenland. Or the North Pole. But no. My mother just had to have her beach house in the smack dab middle of Miami, Florida.
I let out a bored sigh and crane my neck up, damning the sun's rays that glare down at me. I deserve this wretched heat. And the sun burn that will be bestowed upon me. I should be as red as those tomatoes my mother ordered the staff to plant. How foolish of me. I thought if I could slip into a bikini and throw on a ridiculous floppy hat and sipped lemonade by the pool, I would be able to forget about... him. But it's harder than I thought it would be. Each second that passes feels like an eternity, without him. What I did was wrong and unforgivable on too many levels to count. I reach down and mindlessly scratch an itch on my wrist. I miss him, more than anything in the world.
The first few days without him was harder than the others. Despite what he demanded me of, I called and texted and lefts voicemails, to no avail. He never answered my calls or texted me back. Even after I promised I would burn the book and plead for him to give me another chance. It's funny how I was first worried he'd break my heart, only to find out it was me who did that, but to him and me. And I hate myself for it. I really thought he'd mean nothing to me. But he did. He became a part of me. So, when he left, a large sum of myself went with him, leaving me in this empty shell of a body, without a soul. Like a ghost without a body. A body without a pulse.
After the first month, it finally sunk in that I was never going to see him ever again. And it hit me like a freight train. Before then, I had the tiniest sliver of hope that he was going to look back on our good moments and our connection and call me back. But when he didn't and he never returned to the campus or class or any of the parties, I knew. Grey was gone. Never to return. Never to forgive me. Never to kiss me or make me angry. He left me, and he was justified in doing so. I broke the best thing that'd ever happen to me. And all for a fucking program.
"Child, didn't I tell you to put on your sun-screen before stepping out here?" Louise's voice chastises me. I listen to her flip flops slap against the tiles lining the rim of the pool in front of me, before they stop behind me. Her hands are on me, covering — no, lathering — me with a cream I instantly identify as sunscreen.
I roll my eyes as she rounds the chair and begins rubbing my chest.
"Louise, stop babying me," I whine like a child and she raises her eyebrows and smiles. I'm proving her point. "I'm fine," I snap and swat her hands away. I pick up the lemonade beside me and sip frantically before crossing my arms. Through these thick sunglasses, I can see her frowning at me. "Why are you staring at me?" why am I becoming so hostile?
"Thinking about him again?" she asks in a knowing tone. I hate when she uses that tone. It always makes me feel worse than I already feel. And I do not need anymore guilt placed on me. I'll be buried alive with it if she continues to pin me with that tone or the look she is giving me right now.
"Thinking about who?" I play dumb. When she raises her eyebrows and looks at me as if saying: You take me as a fool? I sigh and shrug. "How'd you know?"
She glances down and says, "You're playing with his charm."
I follow her eye trail and flush as red as my bikini top. "Oh."
She pauses and asks, "You want to talk about it?"
I scoff and look away. "For the hundredth time? No, thanks. I think I have the moment I realized I screwed him over down well enough." I stare at the cerulean eyes and imagine him throwing an inflated ball. My lips twitch, but I straighten my posture and sit up, clutching the arms of the wooden chair; she backs up and gives me another look that sends my stomach into a washing machine routine. "Plus, talking about it won't bring him back."
She opens her mouth, but is cut off when Mason pops up from the water. His cocoa eyes widen as he shakes his head, sending droplets of water to land on my heated legs. Landing his eyes on mine, I send him a soft smile, and he swims over with energy. I glance at Louise and lift an eyebrow, silently telling her to leave. She frowns deeply and clutches her floral dress. I widen my eyes and, muttering in Spanish, she hikes up her knee length dress and walks back into the house. I know she only wants to help me get through this painful process of starting over, minus... him, but no amount of hugs or cups of tea will get him out of my mind. Especially not if I can't even say his name.
"How long was that?" Mason asks, exiting the pool. He pulls his trunks down and pants for air subtly; I give him his glass of dripping lemonade and he plops into the chair next to me.
I check my watch and lean back in my seat, facing him with a wide smile. "Three minutes and forty-two seconds."
Out of boredom, he and I have been clocking how long he can stay underwater without passing out. The last time he passed three minutes, I had to revive him and almost had a heart attack. We could go down to the boardwalk or explore the city, but we have and now we are subdued to this childish game. I am so glad I brought him here, for the summer. He has been my rock through my time at campus after everything that happened. Apparently, he was awol during and before Christmas because he had to call his sister and meet up with her. I thought it was terribly sweet. And now he's here. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
"How you doing?" he asks in a weird tone after putting his glass down. He scrunches his eyebrows together and leans on his elbows as he looks at me. I wish I could see past those glasses he's slipped on.
"Fine, why?" I'm grateful for mine.
"You're playing with that charm," he says and nods at me, and it is then I realize I am playing with the charm. Again. In the small span of time when Louise caught me doing it. Why is it so easy for me to slip off into la-la-land and show when I've exited this plane? I should take it off and chuck it into the Atlantic Ocean. It'd be tremendous in my mission to move on. But I can't. I can't find it in me to do it, because it'd mean cutting my ties with him. And I'm just not ready for that. Not yet, at least...
"I am pathetic," I groan into my palms.
"You are not pathetic," he breathes around an air of bemusement. I face him and peek at his sparkling smile between my fingers. "You're just still hung up on him, it's natural... you loved him. And you don't get over someone you love quickly. It'll take time and trials and errors. You're human, Liv." His words offer a glimpse into the future, a future that stings when I realize it doesn't have him in it. But it is a future where I am not snapping at Louise or fidgeting like I have a bomb or lying awake thinking of lying on gravel, bleeding out. It's a future that is pleasant and meant for me. Safe and content.
"You're right." I smile appreciatively at him and reach over to take his hand in mine. He mirrors my smile, and I rub my thumb across his smooth skin. "How about we go for some ice cream? I feel like I'm sitting in a sauna in hell."
He laughs and nods. "Sounds like a plan. I'll go in and throw on a shirt," he informs me and stands, letting go of my hand. I let my hand fall onto my exposed stomach and raise a hand, opening my mouth, but he beats me to it. "I'll grab you some shorts and a shirt while I'm on it."
"You're a life-savor." I wink at him and he rolls his eyes but smiles. I watch as he jogs into the house, leaving me to sit up and stare at the pool. I take off the huge sunglasses and run my hand through my hair. Tangled and tugging, I pinch the rubber band between my fingers as I stand. My hair falls over my shoulders, and I slip the band onto my wrist and smile, recalling the time Grey stole my hair bands and forced me to wear my hair down for the semester.
I clam up and stare at the water. I said his name. Damn it. I haven't said his name in so long, it was almost out of my head. But now that I just did, it won't leave. Memories hit me from every corner of my brain I kept in the dark, leaving me reeling back and clutching my eyes shut for support.
"Get it under control, Liv," I order myself and take deep breaths.
I am almost under control, when I hear a deep and unfamiliar voice.
"Talking to yourself? Not the same Liv I remember." I whip my head to the left and find a boy looking at me, with a daunting smirk and a piercing gaze. My heart skips a beat. Not really a boy, but not a man. He looks to be about my age, maybe a year older, but not younger. Maybe it's the way that he stands tall and supposedly all-knowing, or the glint in his mint-green eyes.
"Who are you?" I ask him, curious as to who he is and how he got in. The only person who answers the door is Louise, and she wouldn't just let some stranger in. Maybe he's a son or some relative member of one of the worker's...?
He tilts his head to the side, and his shaggy brown hair flops to the side.
"What? Don't remember your childhood friend?" he sounds teasing, and I instantly recognize that mocking tone. That and the way he walks with confidence — maybe a little too confident — gaining in on the distance between us.
"Noah? Noah Wells?" I question him, not believing for a second this is the same boy who chased me around when we were eight and stuck worms down my dress. He was a ruthless little boy who went away to military camp and came back even more equipped with knowledge on how to torture me.
He stops a foot from me and grins from ear to ear, flashing me with his pearly whites and a single dimple in his left cheek. "Live and in the flesh," he confirms.
I am a little taken aback. What the hell is he doing here?
"Our mothers thought it'd be best if we resumed our friendship," he says as if reading my mind, or drawing a conclusion with my mouth on the floor and all.
Mother, I spit in my head. Ever since she came to the hospital after I passed out from the blood I lost and Louise drove out to find me, she has been relentless when it came to shoving down my throat how right she was. She has gone back to controlling me and my future. For example, setting me up with a young heathen grown up. How wonderful is she?
"So, aren't you going to give me a hug?" he opens his arms.
"Hey, Liv... who's this?" Mason asks as he exits the house.
I shift my eyes from him and onto Noah, who still has his arms out. "Rain check?" I walk around him and he follows me over to Mason. I lowly frown at him. Still likes to follow me around, I see. "Mason, this is Noah Wells... an old friend of mine. Noah, this is Mason, my best friend."
"She forgot to mention we were once engaged, but old friend will suffice, I guess." Noah thrusts his hand out and laughs when he looks at Mason's confused expression. "Kidding, of course. She broke it, and the candy ring, off the night before."
"Right..." Mason looks at me and I shrug, reflecting the same weirded out look. Noah was always a tad... peculiar.
They shake hands and I grab Mason's, facing Noah with a faux smile I have mastered over the years of dealing with my delirious mother.
"Well, we have plans, so we're going to leave. But maybe we can catch up later?" I inquire, and Noah nods, stuffing his hands into his khaki capris-shorts.
"Sure thing," he says and I smile wider, but for real this time.
I swivel on my heels and take my clothes from Mason's hands. Once we are in the house, I step through the shorts as he talks.
"That guy's kind of weird. You had weird taste in friends."
"No kidding," I say as I pull on the shirt and link my arm through his. "But you are right about one thing." I playfully poke his cheek and he gasps and hip-bumps me. I do it right back and he laughs.
I WISH I ASKED MASON TO GRAB ME A sweater, too. It's later in the day and the sun has quite dropped, along with the temperature. Families speed home to their beach homes and venders on the boardwalk close up shop. The slight wind sends my loose hair to swirl into the air and tickle the back of my hair-risen neck. If I'm wishing for things, I also wish I hadn't suggested ice creams. To be fair, at the time, it was blazing hot. But as we walked and stopped along the way to play a few games lining the walk, it grew colder and my promise remained upheld.
I cross my arms and look around absentmindedly. Mason is inside getting our orders while I am waiting on our Uber. I have no desire to walk back in this weather. It's a good thing the more days that pass into summer, the nights will grow higher in temperature, enough for people to enjoy the night life has to offer.
My phone buzzes and, thinking it's the Uber driver notifying me of his arrival or proximity, I answer.
"Hello?"
"Liv, hey." It's Noah.
"Hey, Noah? What's up?" why is he calling me? I'm not trying to sound rude, I'm just curious. Even more so wondering how he got my number in the first place.
"You have anything planned for tonight?" he asks and I narrow my eyes at the ground. Why is he asking?
"No, why?" I reply.
"There's this party down by the docks. It's supposed to be amazing. Live band, max space, drugs —"
"Doesn't sound like my type of thing." I stop him right there. I am done with parties like that. I'd much rather curl up on the couch watching Dirty Dancing and eating ice cream with Mason. "Maybe some other time —" I trail off when my eyes land on something supernatural, across the street.
Grey.
Dark, unkempt hair, towering and muscular structure, countless dark tattoos — all indicators of the man I fell for and ultimately broke. My heart skips a beat and I nearly drop my phone to the ground and run into his arm without looking for on-coming traffic. He's here. It's him. I can't believe...
But then he turns around, and my heart breaks.
It isn't him. The man is much more muscular, like a body builder, and he's wearing a rugged red baseball cap and has patchy facial hair. How could I have thought he was Grey? I guess I saw past his bulkiness and the cap and just saw the dark clothes and boots and saw... him. My mind conjured him up to play tricks with me. To emphasize my need to move the hell on.
"Hello? Liv? You still there?" Noah's voice yanks me into reality.
"Huh? Umm... yes. I'm here. Sorry." I turn from the man entering some shoe store and pinch my nose bridge. "You were saying something about a party?"
"Yeah, but you said it wasn't your thing —" he starts and I glance at the shop the man disappeared into.
"Never mind that. Are you picking me up or...?"
He tells me the time of the party and that he'll bring me. I ask if I can bring Mason and he says of course.
I hang up and stare at the concrete, tapping my foot and chewing on my lip. I find myself staring at the shop and wondering what if? What if that was Grey? What would I have done? Would I have run up to him and throw my arms around him? Breathe in his scent of cigarettes and dark chocolate and oranges? What would I have even said? The biggest question I am afraid to ask is: what would he have done...?
IMMEDIATE REACTION
Kay, did I trick anyone when she thought she saw Grey?
And, oh no, a party. When has anything good gone down during a party?
P.S. Check out the cast, there are two new faces you'll be seeing quite frequently. x
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SHARE
It'd mean the world if you can share this story with friends (or people you hate so you can see them go through the feels and pain I put you through). A simple tweet or word of mouth would be more than enough. Just pass on the story and get friends (and possibly enemies lol) involved.
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TWEET ME
I have become very attached to Twitter, and I'd love to chat with you all, gauge your reactions to wow, crying, or funny moments. Just tag me, hashtag it #Grey or #Ley and, and I'll follow you back for sure and re-tweet like it's nobodies business. (And if you don't have it, get it just for this cause you're missing out ;))
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DEDICATION
Tell me why (if you do) like this story. What made you come back around for the sequel. Splurge in details and don't hold back. I'll be dedicating chapters to those every few chapters. x
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QUESTION TIME
Tell me what you thought of this chapter overall! (Remember to be specific)
What was your favorite part? (Be specific)
Least favorite part? (Be specific)
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you so, so, so, so much for reading!
- Allison x
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