They went back to Jason's house for hot chocolate, at Sara's request.
After that kiss, all Molly wanted to do was disappear and brood, but Sara was demanding treats, and Molly knew the rest of the day would be a disaster of pouting niece if they didn't give in. Hopefully, there'd be no time to talk. Molly simply wasn't prepared. How could they possibly work things out when she didn't even understand her own feelings?
Jason made cocoa from scratch while Molly watched him from across the room. He frothed the milk with a wire whisk while Sara romped with Bubbles and Molly put out a plate of store-bought cookies. In some ways Jason was unpredictable, but in others...
Oh, in others. The way he kissed hadn't changed at all. He had a style, a taste that was simply Jason, one she was helpless to resist. One that was as natural to her as the sunrise each day. As he brought the steaming mugs to the table, topped with fluffy white marshmallows, she swallowed hard to stop remembering. To stop wanting him again.
"I only filled yours half, muffin," he explained, putting the cup before Sara. "But you can have more if you want it."
Sara happily munched on oatmeal raisin and sipped her cocoa, using a finger to dab at the white blobs on the top. Silence fell, heavy and awkward, until Sara finished her snack and headed for the living room and television, clearly subdued after her busy afternoon.
"Mol..."
She stopped him with a look as she cleared mugs off the table. "Not now. I can't talk about this now."
"Then when? Because we should talk about what happened. Today and the other day, too."
She aimed a furtive, frustrated glare in his direction. "Nothing happened, okay? Nothing that can happen again."
"We can't pretend it didn't happen, Mol."
"Yes, we can!" She turned her back to him, rinsed the mugs and put them in his dishwasher. She wondered how his voice could sound so calm and rational when everything was churning up inside of her. "We can because it changes nothing!"
"Aunt Molly!" The shout came from the living room followed by a tiny giggle. "You were pretty!"
She met Jason's bland stare and he shrugged, so she followed him into the living room.
Sara was in the middle of the sofa, her chubby hands holding a white-covered photo album in her lap. "Look." She pointed, obviously enthused. "Aunt Molly's pretty dress. And you have funny hair, Uncle Jason!"
Her angelic face looked up, having fun with an album Molly never even knew existed. One that Molly would rather not look at, but she didn't have the heart to take it away from Sara, not when the girl was having so much fun with it. She couldn't expect a child to understand what she herself could not.
They sat down, one on either side of Sara, with a book that was a visual diary of their years together. The picture she was pointing to was their prom. Jason in his black tuxedo and she in a long blue gown, a corsage of white roses adorning her left wrist. Pictures of the two of them and friends they'd long since lost touch with. Other pictures from their final year of high school, when he'd lived in rugby shirts and jeans, and she'd had her hair permed into a blonde, unruly mass. There was one of them at a school dance, her arms around his neck and his resting on her waist as they smiled for the camera. Another of them at the school Christmas drive for the local food bank. At a skating party with their group of friends. Sara asked what each one was and Jason dutifully explained while Molly swallowed back sadness as the memories trickled in, warm and painful.
Jason's mind drifted back as he touched a picture with his finger. This one, their hair damp and both of them dressed in oversized sweatshirts after a beach party and bonfire at the provincial park. That night had been the first night they'd made love after a year of dating. He'd known with all the wisdom of his eighteen years that he loved her, and that night, in his two-man tent, they'd gone all the way. It had been better than he'd expected. His nervousness had melted away the moment he'd held her warm, soft body in his arms and kissed her. He'd been her first. And she his. They'd learned all that they knew together.
For the next four years, they'd been inseparable, completing their first degrees and falling even deeper in love.
He flipped the page in the album and stopped.
He'd taken a photography course in his third year and as a joke, she'd modeled for him, hamming it up for the camera. He'd captured a few that he remembered now he'd kept, showing no one but putting them in his own personal album. One where she was laughing at something silly, her eyes and nose scrunched up and mouth wide with hilarity. Another of her sleeping after he'd loved her thoroughly, her hair rumpled, lashes laying long and full in slumber. Her cheeks were flushed and the silk strap of her ivory nightie was brushed off her shoulder, the sheets wrapped around her hips.
"Aunt Molly, you look just like Sleeping Beauty," Sara breathed.
Molly laughed, the sound coming out husky and shy. "Thank you, sweetheart."
"Was Uncle Jason the Prince that woke you up with a magic kiss?"
How could they resist such a guileless, enchanting creature? Jason watched as Molly put her arm around Sara and squeezed. "Yes, baby, he was."
Their gazes met and delved deeply. No matter how hard they tried to pretend, how much Molly protested, nothing was over between them. Not even close.
He looked away again and turned a final page.
This was the one he'd loved the most, the one he'd forgotten entirely about until seeing it again. He'd developed it himself in the dark room at school. Experimenting with black and white, he'd taken a picture of her beneath the arch at the Christmas Ball in their fourth year. Her hands held her long skirt in her fingers as she had half-turned. She'd worn white that night, a strapless bodice and full skirt, looking more like an angel than a woman had a right to. When she'd looked over her shoulder at him like that and smiled, he'd captured it. He'd wanted to re-create that shot, but on their wedding day, perhaps with her bouquet hanging loosely from one hand as she held her skirt, and a few strands of hair loose after their long day.
Sara's hands clapped. "You look like a bride!"
Molly swallowed hard. A bride that had never been.
She rose abruptly, avoiding Jason's probing gaze. "I just remembered I have some phone calls to make." The excuse was lame. It was Sunday. He had to know there were no calls, but he let her go.
"I'll bring Sara over later," he offered quietly. "We can talk then."
She didn't wait, didn't want to think about his persistence that they hash this all out. Right now she had to escape before she made an absolute fool of herself.
*
Molly looked around the house one last time, making sure everything was perfect. The appliances gleamed, the floors shone. Sara's toys were tucked away in a corner of the living room, stuffed into a yellow tub. A batch of cookies filled the cookie jar on the counter top and fresh sheets were on the beds.
Jason had volunteered to pick up Kim, leaving Molly time to ensure everything was done and dusted. Molly was growing quite used to the homey look Kim used with her decorating, and in the back of her mind even preferred it to her own precise, if somewhat sparse, decor. This house was a home. The furniture might have been mostly secondhand and unmatched, but Kim had a knack for taking nothing and making it look as if it belonged. Handmade accents added to a sense of intimacy. Molly's condo was a showpiece, no personality. It had all the proper decorations, color coordinated and in the right place... Classy by all standards. It was incredibly perfect and lonely.
It was like living in monochrome and moving into color. And, Molly would admit to herself, her life reflected it.
She ran a hand over the secondhand dining table, following a beam of sunlight on its surface. For years now, she'd told herself that her career was all that mattered. That she didn't want marriage and a family. She'd avoided home, telling herself she didn't have the time. Now she knew the real reason why. Home scared her. Being with Sara, seeing how wonderful a daughter she was, how great Kim was at being a mom, being with Jason again, letting old feelings carry her away. The way he cupped his hand around her neck when he kissed her, or melted her with a simple gaze across a snowy hill. It made her want things, things she had already given up and had no right to anymore. Things that were all on the other side of the choice she'd made.
With a sigh, she sat in a chair and stared at her briefcase in the corner. She'd hardly opened it since arriving, and there would be consequences for that. Perhaps now she could play catch up. Thing was, she didn't want to.
She heard the truck pull up in the driveway and pressed a hand to her stomach, inexplicably nervous. Kim was coming back to her house and Molly wanted desperately for her sister to approve of how she'd kept things. She wanted it to seem like Kim hadn't even been away. For the first time in six years, the law wasn't her first priority. Now she wasn't sure what she wanted. She had no priorities. She felt completely at sea. Without her work, what did she have? Did she have a life? Even her social life in Calgary revolved around clients and events. Then Jason had to make an appearance. Jason, who was doing exactly what he'd said he would, minus the wife and kids. Jason, who was dedicated to his work, but also dedicated to his friends and who still knew how to cut loose and enjoy the simple things, like sledding on a frosty January afternoon. Suddenly things weren't so black and white. He wasn't wrong and she wasn't right. He was all those things he'd been long ago...kind, sexy, smart. Knowing he hadn't let go of her either made the pull all that much stronger.
Molly covered her face with her hands. She'd managed to avoid the conversation he was determined to have. When he'd brought Sara home on Sunday, she'd faked a migraine so he wouldn't press. She had no idea what to say to him. Oh, why couldn't she just stop thinking? It was far too time-consuming and fatiguing.
The door opened and voices jumbled together. Molly rose from her chair, leaving her thoughts behind as she hurried to the foyer. She pasted on her cheeriest expression. "Welcome home!"
Kim looked up as she moved gingerly, taking off her jacket. Jason hung it up for her while Sara danced around her feet. Molly watched as Kim's gaze swept over the polished staircase, the tidy living room.
"Gosh, it's good to be home."
"It didn't seem right without you," Jason said, taking off his own coat then pressing a kiss to Kim's forehead. "Now you remember what the doctor said. Home but rest. Lots of it."
"Stop worrying."
"It's my job to worry about you. Don't you know that by now?" he cajoled.
"I'm not going anywhere fast, so you can stand down." Kim smiled up at Molly. "Good to see you, sis."
Molly offered a shaky smile. It was obvious that she was no substitute for Kim; Jason had as much as said so. It didn't seem right without you. Clearly Jason and Kim were closer than Molly had imagined. She recalled the white, strained look on his face as he described Kim's accident, then Kim's flushed cheeks later when Molly asked her about their relationship. Her eyes narrowed as her suspicions renewed. But if Jason were now hung up on her sister, he wasn't the kind of man who would try to seduce her in a laundry room. Or on a snowy hill.
Was he?
If he were as confused as she was, maybe he just would. And she'd be the woman in the middle.
"Molly? You okay?" Kim's soft voice interrupted, and Molly's feelings were suddenly overshadowed by the overwhelming relief that her sister was truly okay and back home where she belonged.
Molly waited for the crowd by the door to spread out. "Can I hug you? I don't want to pop any stitches or anything."
Kim laughed, winced, then came forward and put her arms around Molly.
Molly closed her eyes. Right now she felt closer to her sister than she had in several years. Kim had been only nineteen when Molly had left for law school. With their mother gone... Molly realized now she'd left Kim all alone to finish growing up. It was high time she made up for some of her decisions. What happened couldn't end here. She had to continue being involved in her sister's life, in Sara's life. It wasn't fair to any of them otherwise.
"I couldn't have done this without you," Kim whispered in her ear. "The house looks great, but what counts is that Sara is happy. She talked about you the whole way home. I'm so glad you came," she said, stepping back and looking Molly dead in the eye. "I don't know how to ever repay you."
Molly sniffled. "No payment necessary. We're sisters. I should have been here long ago."
"You're here now, and that's what matters."
Kim squeezed her hands, and they laughed a little with misty eyes.
Molly cleared her throat, smiling shyly. "Hang on. I'll turn on the coffee maker. We have treats."
Jason had stayed in the foyer, watching the sisters silently, but now he came forward. He knew very well from Kim that Molly hadn't visited for several years and also knew how hurt Kim had been by that. Seeing Molly acknowledge that gave him hope. Hope for her. Hope for them. He was beginning to see that Molly wasn't as cold as she'd appeared when she first arrived.
"I'll give you a hand, Mol," he offered. "Sara, why don't you and your mom go into the living room? You can show her the pictures you drew of Bubbles yesterday."
In the kitchen, he took out mugs while Molly arranged cookies and brownies on a frilly plate. She took them from a plastic container on top of the counter and not a bakery box. The woman who'd arrived a few short weeks ago would not have baked homemade goodies. His lips curved into an easy smile. She'd changed more than she realized.
"You're a good sister, Molly."
She stood back, analyzing the plate, moving a few brownies around. "No, I'm not. But I'd like to change that. Kim deserves better. We only have each other and I took that for granted."
Jason took her hand, tugging until she faced him. "I'm glad you realize that. She's very special."
A look flashed over Molly's face, and for that brief second he thought he saw distrust. But just as quickly it was gone and he was left wondering if he'd been imagining things.
Especially when she replied, "I know. And Sara should know her aunt. I've been selfish. I had intended to go back to Calgary as soon as Kim was released, but now I find I want a few more days...to make sure she can handle things, you know?"
"You did what you thought you had to do."
Her head snapped up, her gaze clashing abruptly with his. He met the look calmly. Perhaps this was what she needed to see things clearly, to finally get her priorities straight. Perhaps then....
What was it he really wanted? Molly looked away, putting away the container of cookies while a wrinkle formed between his eyebrows. Did he want her back, or did he simply want to let her go, tie up the loose ends between them and move on?
"Molly, I..."
"We'll talk later, okay? Let's just enjoy the afternoon. Kim's safe and she's home, and Sara is happy and secure again. That's what's really important. There's time enough for us to talk later."
She put the plate on a tray and he knew without a doubt what he wanted. He wanted what he'd lost six years ago.
Only now he had to figure out how he was going to make it happen.
Her hands shook as she poured a cup of milk for Sara, put everything on a tray and carried it into the living room. Sara had turned on the music channel and Kim exclaimed over the baking. Molly laughingly admitted she'd used a mix, but as they sat around the coffee table laughing and chatting, she knew she'd been missing out on something all this time.
Jason came in and took a seat, settling Sara on his lap and handing her the sippy cup of milk. Molly sat quietly, staring at the scene before her, imprinting it on her heart. To an outsider, seeing Sara on his knee, Kim's smile as she picked a brownie from the plate, they looked like the perfect family.
Family. People who cared about her and about each other. Ones with childhood memories and stories. That deep connection. It was no wonder Jason had gravitated to Kim. He'd always wanted a family, ever since his brother had died when he was very young. Kim was the type of homebody he needed. Yet the thought of them... Molly had to acknowledge that she wasn't willing to give him up, which was odd because he wasn't hers for the giving.
She'd forgotten how familial closeness felt. Since she'd left Jason and Kim, she'd never felt it again. They'd been her family after her parents divorced, but after him there'd been no one. Now the feeling of it rushed back, full and bittersweet with the knowledge she'd given up this place once before and that she would leave it again soon. It surprised her to realize she didn't want to. What if she were to consider the unthinkable? Was there still a place for her here? In Kim's life? In Jason's?
"Mol. Where did you go?" Kim's voice intruded and Molly forced her face to relax, conjuring a pleasant smile.
"Not far. Sorry. I'm just glad you're home."
She ignored Jason's gaze, the one that seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, and instead rose to refill the cookie plate.
*
How could she have forgotten?
Sara's birthday was Wednesday. Tomorrow, Molly realized. Where had the time gone? She pinched the bridge of her nose. Kim would have had a party all arranged long before now, complete with presents and cake and probably a half dozen children running around. Kim was home, yes, but still on pain killers, still exhausted. And as nice as it was for Sara to have her mommy back, things were far from normal in that household.
Sara was turning four. Molly had missed enough birthdays that she was determined to make up for it. Kim and Sara were the only family she had left and so far she hadn't even made an effort. That was going to change. Starting today.
When Kim had mentioned it this morning, asking Molly if she could run out and pick up at least a few presents, Molly had known that wouldn't be enough. Besides, Kim had been off work for nearly three weeks. She was a single parent. Molly didn't have to read too closely between the lines to know that money was tight for her baby sister. To make up for past neglect, Molly was determined to make this birthday one to remember.
"I'll look after it, I promise," Molly assured her. "You get up some strength for a little party, okay?"
Except Molly had no idea how to organize a child's party.
She and Jason hadn't talked about what was happening between them since that kiss in the snow, and Molly knew they had to clear the air. Asking him for help would be awkward, yet she couldn't think of anyone else to help with the party. She'd already decided against having extra children. She knew her limits and also knew Kim didn't need that much commotion. It would be a family event. No one knew Kim and Sara better than Jason, so that afternoon Molly swallowed her anxiety and misgivings and stopped at the clinic.
Jason turned a corner and saw her there, waiting patiently for him, looking fresh and beautiful in snug jeans and Kim's puffy pink bomber jacket, a scarf twisted around her neck. When she turned from the window to face him, sunlight backlit her golden hair and her eyes, normally a placid blue, glowed pale and bright.
She was his angel. Always had been, always would be. Ten years ago now, he'd fallen for her, and nothing had changed. But he'd been burned badly enough by her before that there was no way he'd let her see that. Not yet. Not until she came to him. He wouldn't put himself out there and bare his soul only to have it thrown back at him again. But if he could get her to make the first move...
"Molly. What's up? Is something wrong? Kim and Sara all right?"
"Everyone's fine. Have you got a sec?"
"I've got ten minutes before my next client." He didn't mention that there were a zillion things he could be doing in that ten minutes. He had precious few moments with Molly left, and for once, work could wait. If she was going to come to him, he had to give her reason to.
He led her back past the exam rooms to the tiny cubbyhole that housed a fridge and a single set of cupboards. "Want a drink?"
"No, thanks," she said, pulling a stool up to the counter.
"Mind if I do? I don't often get an opportunity for a break."
"Go ahead."
He grabbed a can of soda from the fridge and sat opposite her, popping the top. "So what's up?"
"I have a problem."
"Shoot."
"Sara's birthday is tomorrow."
"I know. I've had her present for a month."
Molly laughed. "Why am I not surprised? I, however, do not, and neither does Kim. I want to have a birthday party. Just the family, though. But I don't know much about children her age. Everything I know is based on the last few weeks. I don't even know where to start and her birthday is tomorrow."
"You want me to help." He grinned at her. Shopping for Sara was fun. Doing it with Molly was exactly what the doctor ordered. It was as good an excuse as any to spend time with her. Even better was that she'd done the suggesting. She couldn't accuse him of coming up with ways to keep them together.
"Yes, I'm asking for your help. You know both of them better than I do. Though it pains me to admit it."
He ignored the last bit; it would be nice to have a conversation without an argument or recriminations being bandied back and forth. "I'm done here at six. We can hit the mall."
"Thank you. I think Kim's finances are...well, tight, and I'd like to make up for that."
"You can afford to?" He offered it as a question, raising an eyebrow, rather than a statement. Molly had done what she'd said she would. She'd become successful. It was high time she realized that she had a family and he was pleased she was taking the initiative. If she wanted to spend a little of that money on making Sara's birthday special, he had no problem helping. It also would be a good chance for him to see if he was right about her...that she'd changed and cared more about her family than about her career and her gold card.
"My salary's substantial, yes." She blushed a bit. "And I've only had myself to support. Besides that, Sara's had a rough time and she's been so good through it all. It's the least I can do."
Jason reached over and clasped her hand. Molly probably didn't even realize it, but he'd seen changes in her over the past few weeks. When she'd arrived, she'd had this veneer around her, protecting her from feeling too much. He'd seen it the moment he'd opened the door. Yet bit by bit she'd relaxed. The designer clothes had been replaced with pieces of Kim's more comfortable wardrobe. She'd expected less of Sara and had enjoyed more. Her cold manner had dissipated completely when he'd held her in his arms. It would be very easy to fall in love with her again. And very hard not to show her how he was feeling. But first and foremost he had to protect his heart. If things changed, they had to be on his terms. It was the only way he could keep himself from being hurt.
"I'm glad you've realized how special they are," he murmured, squeezing her fingers. "I'll pick you up.
His client was waiting, so he merely rose, dropped a fleeting kiss on the crest of her cheek and disappeared into an exam room. Oh yes, Molly held more power than she could possibly know. He'd tried, but no one in the intervening years had ever measured up. Now that she was back, he wasn't sure he could risk that kind of heartbreak again. He had to be sure of her first.
*
They hit the toy store first. One stop shopping, Jason had said, and as Molly pushed the cart and Jason filled it up, her eyes grew larger and larger with the amount of loot that piled up.
"Do you have a theme?"
"A theme?"
He laughed as they halted before the party supplies. "You know, what kind of plates, napkins, balloons, that sort of thing."
Molly looked over the selection, which covered an entire wall. "How about princesses or something?"
"That sounds about right." He leaned over to pick out plates, napkins and cups in pink and pale blue, and his scrubs stretched taut. Molly's mouth watered. All the reasons she'd left so long ago faded into the distant past. Instead she was reminded of how he'd kissed her in the snow, how he'd held her hand this afternoon. She'd thought perhaps parting as friends would be easier, leaving the bitterness behind. But it wasn't going to be easier at all. Molly knew leaving Jason, after all that had transpired, was going to hurt all over again. And this time she wouldn't have righteous indignation to pull her through. If she came back again, they'd have to find a way to make peace with the past so they could move forward. Talk about a gigantic task. She laughed inwardly at herself. She never had been one to take the easy road.
He put the items in the cart and looked up at her when she didn't follow along. "Are you coming?"
She nodded. "Sorry. Preoccupied."
"What did Kim want to get her?"
They started down another aisle, one completely pink. Didn't girl's things come in any other color?
"She said something about a play kitchen. But I don't know what kind."
She really was horrible. She didn't even know how to shop for a little girl, for goodness sake! She had to refer to a single man for shopping advice!
"Here they are." Jason halted in front of a display. "Which one do you like best?"
She stared at the selection. "I don't know. I'm hopeless at this sort of thing."
Jason leaned over. "You were four once. What would you have wanted?"
Molly stared at the different designs, her heart heavy. "You know better than to ask that, Jason," she murmured. She could feel him looking at her and refused to meet his gaze.
"I'm sorry, Molly," he said softly from behind her. "I never thought."
What he'd done with that one simple question was stir up old memories she had no desire to recall. She looked at the toys. Plastic or wood. Pink and white or tan and green. Ironing boards or dishwashers. So many choices in miniature and she knew that not once in her life had she had toys such as these. She understood Kim wanting to have things for Sara that they'd never had. Their own parents had divorced when they were young and their mother had all but abandoned them when they finished high school, remarrying and moving away.
There'd been many things they'd wanted for as children—not only the presents but the thought and love that went behind the gifts. Feeling treasured. That was what had drawn her to Jason in the first place. He'd understood that need, as he'd felt it himself. The warm family he'd known had faded away after his brother Jonathan's death. Molly and Jason had become fiercely independent, thinking they didn't need those things. Kim had been younger and had handled things differently. For the first time, Molly faced the fact that she'd done the same thing as her mother—run away. She'd handled the neglect in one way, Kim the polar opposite. She'd put a wall around her heart; Kim had become the giving nurturer. It was obvious which one Jason truly needed. It was understandable.
Kim was trying desperately to give her daughter a sense of family, all on her own. Kim was the one who had always realized what family meant even in the absence of it, had always been the nurturing one even though Molly had been oldest. Molly looked up and saw the biggest, most elaborate item and pointed. "That one. The one with all the bells and whistles."
Jason stared at it, his eyes flicking to the price tag. "It's a bit expensive, don't you think?"
"I'll cover it. Kim can accept this bit of help, just this once."
Jason picked up the tag. "It's too big. We'll have to give them this at the register and have it brought out."
Molly smiled then. The glee in the fact that the present was so big made her feel silly and childish, and she liked it. She had money and couldn't think of a better way to use it than putting a smile on her niece's face.
"We need accessories."
They went down another aisle, Molly fighting the feeling that she and Jason were shopping for their own child. If they'd stayed together, they very well could have had a child Sara's age. She shook off the feeling. Sara wasn't their child, and she and Jason weren't a couple. They were simply shopping for her niece's birthday.
She picked out a porcelain tea set in white with pink roses sprayed on the cups. She added a child's size cobbler's apron and a plastic carry bag of play food, so Sara's playtime with her new kitchen would be complete.
At the cash register she never batted an eyelash at the total, just took out her credit card, signed the slip and headed for the truck with Jason carrying the bags. They were followed out by an attendant who helped load the huge box in the back.
"Now we need a cake."
Jason laughed. "Of course."
Molly checked her watch. "Is anything even still open?"
"Yeah. The grocery's open twenty-four hours."
Walking into the brightly lit store, it felt somewhat like a ghost town. Only a handful of shoppers wandered the quiet aisles. At the bakery counter, they ordered a cake to pick up the following day and made their way to the frozen section to pick up party food.
She was putting animal shaped chicken nuggets in the cart when Jason's voice came quietly behind her.
"Do you feel it, too?"
His words washed over her, soft and wistful, and she knew exactly what he meant. Did it feel strange to be shopping for a cake and presents for a blonde bombshell with curly hair and dark intelligent eyes so much like his?
"A little." She kept her back to him. Looking at him now wouldn't be wise. She'd forget everything she desperately needed to remember. Like how she couldn't afford for fantasy to take over common sense.
"It could have been us."
Tears pricked her eyes as he put words to her earlier thoughts. So easily, if she'd followed in line with his plan. They could be celebrating their own little girl's birthday, shopping together. But that had been the problem. He'd planned everything down to the last detail, and she hadn't been ready for that. Now the chance had passed them by, and she did feel the pain of the death of that dream warring with the frightening prospect of hope that all hadn't been lost.
"Do you ever wonder?" he continued, close behind her. She could feel his body even though he never touched her.
In the end, fear won.
She took a fortifying breath and lied. "No. I'm not the kind of person who dwells on what might have been."
She felt his withdrawal in response to her icy words. The air cooled behind her and relief mixed with regret. He was making it harder and harder to leave, and she couldn't forget that if she let him, he'd try to order her life all over again. He still didn't see that what he'd done was wrong. He was still sure he was right and that she'd been wrong to run. They were both forgetting that and letting the nostalgia of the good things between them distract them from the big problem. A problem that wouldn't disappear no matter where she lived. The one thing they hadn't discussed since being home.
It was one thing to remember the past. It was another to forget exactly why she'd left in the first place.
"We'd better get going." She turned the cart toward the checkout, heard his footsteps behind her but didn't dare meet his eyes.
She didn't want him to know how much the lie had cost her.