06:53.
dawn.
still cold; the entire room seemed pressured with a thin entity, one that encircled her shivering frame and crept beneath her thin shirt and jeans. roma tried not to let her sentiments show, though. didn't want to perhaps make minseok uncomfortable, seeing that she was squirming in her seat.
couldn't figure out what to do with her trembling parts.
tears had dried heavily onto her skin, weighing them down, tugging sharply. she felt so exhausted. the frames rimmed with mist that couldn't be obscured. cold down to the core.
as roma observed the room, she noticed how sparse the furniture was. only a worn-out couch, a small, standing tv, an old rug and a broken lamp. odd, for an apartment. she felt somewhat more reassured, as the dim sky outside faded through the room, alleviating the pitch-black. dark blue, instead.
which was somehow better to her.
less threatening, maybe. a smattering of faded, turquoise glow shone through the blinds.
she peered over her shoulder to look at minseok. he was sat, cross-legged, toying with his hands. winding them in between each other. not nervously, or anything; and it wasn't awkward between them. roma was fascinated by his beauty; it seemed to emanate from him, glowing with a pale, bluish hue.
unreal. although baekhyun was more mesmerising and captivating, minseok had a similar aura, catching her attention. she observed, carefully, his fluid movements. the azure tint to his skin, that shone against the room. beautifully-shaped eyes. wide and observant, framed with a crystallised edge.
she suddenly felt helpless and pathetic, again. like she was of no use to anyone.
roma looked at the mess of glass littering the floor. she stood up, only to kneel down, beginning to pick up the broken pieces. careful not to harm herself on the sharp object. her heart raced. just trying to help, her quick manoeuvres contrasting her previous stationary position.
"hey, hey, don't worry about that," minseok frantically spoke, leaping up from his seated position and kneeling beside her. his face was so close, his fingers being careful with the shards. replacing her fumbling movements. his hand enclosed around hers.
"no, honestly, i want to help. please."
whispered.
"you'll hurt yourself, don't worry about it," he ascertained, his voice low and wavering. didn't know her, but didn't want her to injure herself.
her heart hammered, as minseok grabbed hold of her hands, ceasing her movement. roma risked a glance his way; his eyes drew her in again, iced and mysterious, the iris small, hardly visible, and drowning in the sea of aqua-blue. he looked back at her, too, orbs narrowing in quizzically.
just then, baekhyun entered the room, three mugs held in between, balancing precisely, his hands. eyes scanned between the two of them, but didn't appear upset or questioning. trusted minseok. roma gave him a light smile, pink lips turning up at the corners. didn't fully acknowledge what they were both trying to do.
"alright," baekhyun said quietly, nodding his head in their direction. he placed the mugs down on the upturned coffee table next to them, shoving it slightly. "i made tea."
"thanks," minseok said.
once his hands were free, he quickly saw roma holding the larger pieces of glass in her hand.
"roma, what are you--don't hurt yourself," baekhyun said hurriedly, walking over to her side and helping her up.
"baekhyun, i'm fine," she replied weakly, but allowed him to lift her up, leaning against his body for support. his strong arm hanging over her shoulders.
"i'll do it later, you don't need to worry about it," he answered.
he sat roma down on the sofa. she hoped he would sit beside her, but he left the empty space for minseok to take up, and baekhyun sat himself down on the floor, away from the glass. other side of the coffee table. minseok's body weight dipped into the couch, his legs touching hers.
she tried not to let her displeasure show. wanted baekhyun's warm figure to hold onto her and tell her that everything was okay.
don't be so pathetic.
baekhyun sat with his arms wrapped around his bent knees. looked so innocent and child-like. and, yet, so strong, his arms muscular and his jaw pronounced, even in the dim aura of the room. his body jutted backwards and forwards slightly.
beautiful eyes.
he looked straight at her, eyes drawn into her anxious disposition. the way she was sitting on edge, biting her nails, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall again. stop it. roma knew this wasn't about her. she wasn't the one who should feel emotionally drained.
minseok reached for his tea, resuming his place, back pressed into the sofa. roma felt too weak to sit herself up, her neck strained, muscles diminished of any form of strength. her hair felt tangled and misplaced; like it was strangling her, and not letting her breathe.
baekhyun somehow could see her discomfort. observed him beneath hooded, heavy eyes as he got up, reaching for her mug and handing it to her, carefully clasping her fingers around it.
roma glanced up at him.
"thank you," she uttered in a whisper, trying her best to formulate a smile. she was so tired now, features drooping and succumbing to the exhaustion. she'd been up for hours.
they both had.
he touched her cheek lightly, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. flashed her a small smile; she reciprocated. he was everything; so perfect. and it only been a day--she squinted, thought for a minute--roma couldn't even remember. it had felt like so much longer. she knew she shouldn't get so attached so quickly again.
she took a tentative sip of the warm tea.
baekhyun sat back down again with his drink. roma didn't know where these sudden sentiments of adoration and love had come from. looking at him, she saw nothing but pure devotion; the sun shining; nothing but the only person she'd ever properly been in love with.
roma glanced down, away from minseok's questioning looks.
baekhyun's dark-brown eyes shone in the darkness.
"so, um," minseok started, "where did you guys come from?"
roma looked up from where she'd been staring at her drink.
"or how long have you been in berlin for? i got your text from earlier, sorry i didn't reply--"
"we only just got here pretty much," baekhyun explained. "landed at about half six."
their voices were barely audible. the muffle of cars outside drowned out the emotion in their tones. simply conversing.
minseok beamed weakly; his pale lips quivered, slightly.
"where did you come from?"
roma bit her lip. couldn't quite put her finger on what the tense, palpable atmosphere was about. baekhyun glanced to his side, locking gaze with minseok.
"monaco."
minseok's deep-sea eyes narrowed: sharpened. became darker, if that were even possible. a look of recognition passed between the two boys, igniting the atmosphere with a tension that polluted the calmed aura.
roma jumped down the rising lump in her throat.
"with the, um...with junmyeon and jongdae?" minseok asked quietly.
she watched on with nerves and fear coursing through her veins, as baekhyun visibly shuddered at the mentioning of the two names. roma recognised jongdae; he'd been the one with the serious outlook and fixated, stern expression.
but junmyeon. the name sounded foreign, played over in her head. she'd never heard it before, or, at least, baekhyun had never spoken about him. neither had the others.
"no-one's seen junmyeon in a while," baekhyun spoke, through gritted teeth, his hand gripping tightly to the handle of his mug.
minseok looked down.
he understood. maybe. roma wasn't sure; couldn't tell, although she tried her hardest to decipher, every crease and line of anxiety etched into his skin. understood something; this strange comprehension that floated between the two.
roma was so tired.
"is he still in, um..."
baekhyun cast minseok a warning glare. as if not to say anything in front of her. as if he was stepping into forbidden territory.
minseok shut his mouth.
roma bit the inside of her cheek. her hand that was wrapped around her mug was brought to her face to remove the stray strands of hair that had fallen forward.
"i, uh..." minseok began again, coughing lightly in between his words. "i recently went back to seoul."
that also caught baekhyun's attention. ears perking up at the mention of seoul. roma was also drawn into each and every syllable; every breath. hanging to their words. caught in her throat.
seoul. south korea.
a place that seemed far away, so distant from where they were right now. foreign and different.
"oh. right."
baekhyun let out a sigh slowly. eyes darting and mind concentrated on minseok.
"i saw chanyeol. but, um...he was the only one. i thought maybe junmyeon would still be there. you know, out of all of us. he's the one who i would've thought would've stayed."
minseok's slight smile had deformed into an upturned frown.
"well, we all left," baekhyun relieved with a sheepish smile, shrugging his shoulders and letting out a slight sigh. "i haven't been back since."
the way baekhyun spoke the word since, placing emphasis on it, transmitting yet another message that only him and minseok could interpret. roma continued to take weighted gulps of her tea. nerves sinking in; bit down hard on her lip. minseok seemed to understand, a darkness sweeping across his crystallised vision. beautiful eyes, both of them.
roma greyed in comparison, back sinking into the sofa. her stiffened posture felt comforted by the soft material, despite it being somewhat worn-out and scratchy.
"what did you do there?" baekhyun asked, his tone lighter, reducing roma's nerves slightly.
minseok placed his mug down.
"um, just...i was just visiting old friends. like i said, i saw chanyeol."
"were you there long?"
"about a month, yeah."
baekhyun nodded, simultaneously finishing his tea, as well.
pale blue now filtered in through the windows and blinds, shedding a softer light onto their demeanours, making the edges and corners appear less sharp and menacing. maybe even a hint of sunshine.
"so, uh, how long have you two been together?" minseok asked, glancing sideways, gesturing between roma and baekhyun.
roma looked straight at baekhyun, wanting to smile, wanting to ask him questions: but kept quiet. didn't know how to define their relationship or how to answer. but she felt reassured--didn't know what she'd been expecting--when baekhyun let a gentle and warm smile fade into his pink lips.
roma returned his beam, blushing slightly, letting her gaze drop to her crossed legs. oh, god. even the slightest of gestures provoked this sort of reaction from her.
"um, not long, really. it's kind of a new thing," he smiled, chuckling slightly.
minseok grinned politely, but looked as if he was analysing baekhyun deeper. featured furrowed and eyebrows raised slightly, looking as if he couldn't quite understand this side of baekhyun.
"cool," minseok said, a small grin playing on his lips. he laughed slightly.
pause. roma finished her tea, too.
"are you still the same as you were when i lived here?" baekhyun smirked, asking minseok. and roma could sense that tone in his voice, of thinking back on good memories, on hinting at something.
roma could sense it.
"fuck off," minseok chuckled, his tongue pressed in his cheek, smirking so widely.
the two exchanged laughs, and roma felt at ease once more. she liked seeing smiles and grinning faces. she yawned loudly, bring her hand to mouth to excuse herself.
baekhyun got up slowly, as roma rubbed her tired eyes.
"come on, roma, you need to sleep," he spoke softly. he practically picked her up, gripping underneath her arms. roma allowed herself to slump into his figure, grateful for his soft scent and warm aura.
"baekhyun, i'm not--"
"can she take your room, minseok?"
"yeah, sure. go ahead," minseok smiled, leaning back casually and running his hand through his hair.
he kissed the top of her head, and led her to the adjoining bedroom. she was so exhausted now, her eyes shutting, and she felt even better at the sensation of the mattress beneath her. roma didn't even really acknowledge the room.
baekhyun tucked her in, bringing sheets up to her, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips.
"sleep well. i'll just be in the other room."
"hmm," she responded.
eyes closed. comfortable darkness.
it was all okay because baekhyun was here.
//
after tomorrow i'll only have one exam left so hopefully will be able to update a lot more :) em x