You walked out from the hospital with trembling legs, just what on earth is this?! This monthly check up was supposed to inform your health and your memory progress not to informing you that you were pregnant and had no idea who’s the father of your baby. You were aware enough that you’re not kind of woman who needed to get married first for sex, but with your condition right now, you absolutely clueless with your past relationship. You didn’t remember any of your intimate relationship and your friends were never bugging you either.
Doctor said it was your nine weeks of pregnancy, then it must be happened before you lost your partial memory.
Could it be the guy whom you had one night stand with? Were you that cheap? Were you kind of girl who likes to sleep around? Did your boyfriend know about this and leave you? Were you that pathetic?
You bit your lips nervously, thinking all the possibilities but you ended up shivered in disgust by your own thoughts. This problem couldn’t be solved by yourself, you couldn’t count on your own memory ability, you needed someone who can be trusted to help you. Whether you could find who’s the father or not, you definitely wouldn’t get rid of this innocent baby.
It’s your fault, not her or him. She or he has right to live. Your palms unconsciously rubbed your non existed belly, feeling that sooner another human being on it. Tears rolled from your eyes but you kept walking, not bothering to wipe from your face. How could this happen when you just got back together with the guy that you love? How did you explain to Gray?
‘Hey, I’m pregnant. But I don’t know who’s the father.’
or
‘I’m pregnant but I still want this relationship with you.’
or maybe..
‘I’m pregnant and you should be responsible.’
What would he think about you? He must be feeling disgusted by your deed, no doubt.
After you reached your apartment and got in, you cried silently again, pouring out your sadness and your frustration. You loved kids and you’d love to have your own child, but not now, not in this situation. It was too early and you didn’t know how to do. For god’s sake, you really wanted to scream but your body had no energy left. So here you were, letting yourself sinking on the floor, sobbing harder.
-----
“Stop grinning or I’ll break your teeth.” Simon scowled from the other side of couch. He was on his office with Gray and Jay, discussing his new song. Gray already made an awesome beat and Simon really loved that. The beat went along with his rap, flowing softly yet powerful. But Gray’s stupid grin was the only problem for Simon. Apparently, Gray couldn’t stop his toothy grin since he arrived at AOMG headquarter.
“Gray hyung obviously got laid last night~” Jay wolf whistled, teasing Gray. Hoping his hyung would spill some of his dirty and steamy night. Well, boys and their dirty talk!
Instead of getting the answer, Jay got hit right on his face. A crumpled McD paper bag landed cheerfully on his face, 3 points for Gray.
“You sly fox, eishhh..” Simon looked at Gray in disgust then three of them laughed.
“I’m a good guy!” Gray defended himself, “I have no heart to take an advantage of her, I’m a man with dignity.” He explained calmly but obviously his eyes were dreamy as if he wondering something about you.
“Yeah yeah, dignity. That’s why you couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot, picturing my little sister naked on your bed.” Simon rolled his eyes, he knew Gray loves you so much but he couldn’t help his over protectiveness of you, moreover in this situation. Gray and his needs probably would scare you.
Gray blushed in embarrassment, “We haven’t do anything, yet.” He spilled. Of course he wanted to do something with you, but you guys just got together and it was too soon to do something more intimate than kissing. He needed to go slowly but sure he’ll get it at the end.
Jay gasped and Simon’s eyes widened, “Shit— you and y/n are getting back together?!”
“Umm— kind of..” Gray rubbed the back of his neck but his cheeks were blushing like a fool. Your soft lips still could he feels, and yes he was grinning shamelessly.
"Whoahh, they get back together!" Jay announced.
“Hey, we never break up.” Gray protested, he didn’t like the idea of you and him getting back. You and he were never broke up, you guys were inseparable.
“Yes, but she forgot who you are, so does it mean she already regain her memory?” Simon adjusted his seat, looking interested.
Gray’s grin faded, “No, she still doesn’t remember me.”
“Cheer up, hyung! Then you should do something to remind her, take her on date which you already did together, it might help.” Jay suggested.
“Yeah, I think so too. However, I’m glad she’s still mine despite her lost memory.” The fact that you still fall in love with him really warm his heart, even if you couldn’t get back your memory he would stick on your side.
“I thought you were thankful because you can touch her again.” Simon added and Gray bit his tongue, however Simon’s word was not particularly wrong though, he just won’t admit it.
-----
You were lost in time on your sadness, you didn’t know for how long you sat on the floor, crying your heart out loud. You felt your tears getting dry as your butt felt numb for sitting on the cold marble floor for only God knows how long.
Deciding to start map out your life, you got on your feet, wiping the strain of your tears. After stood few moments waiting for your balance were back, you made your way to your bedroom. You remembered you bought five different pregnancy test tools to confirm what the doctor said before. He could be wrong, right?
Your shaky hands rummaged your bags, taking out pregnancy test tools. You clutched them tightly due your nervousness, pacing back and forth on your bedroom before deciding to take them with you to the bathroom.
It seemed takes forever for you to wait the result, you already used five of them and now you were restless waiting the result. The doctor said you’re pregnant, but the pregnancy test could say something different. But then you remembered that doctor more accurate than pregnancy test!
You groaned in frustration, still pacing back and forth while sometimes took a glance on your bathroom, wondering if it was the right time to check the pregnancy test or not. After ten minutes passed, you mustered up your courage to go to the bathroom, preparing your mental to embrace the reality.
“Y/n?”
Oh, damn— Gray’s coming!
You heard him calling your name again, but before you could get rid of the evidence, he already poked his head on your bathroom.
“Here, you are!” he exclaimed, circling his arms around your waist.
“I was looking for you.” He gave you lingering kiss on your nape which usually made your knees weak but this time you were too anxious to feel it.
“What are you doing here?” He kissed your cheek before he spun you to face him.
And you couldn’t say any single word. Gray felt your body tensed, he cupped your face and caressed your cheek gently, “something happen?”
No. You shook your head, your throat felt so dry to talk to.
Then he noticed something on top of bathroom vanity sink, probably he spotted your pregnancy test tools. Before you could hide them and blocked Gray, he already reached the vanity and grabbed the test packs quickly.
I’m dead.
That’s what you thought, everything will be ended at this point. He will leave you right after he knew the truth.
He studied them for a moments before turned to you, “Positive? Whose testpacks are these?“
But you kept silent.
“They’re yours?” He showed them to you, asking for your confirmation.
You bit your lower lip, not knowing what to do. There’s no use to deny because he saw the evidence, sooner or later he will notice when your belly getting bigger. Maybe this was the right time before everything late.
“Y/n?” He called you but there’s no anger in his voice.
Your eyes getting teary, this was like you were being trapped and there’s no way out. You started to sob when you try to speak causing Gray held you in his arms.
“I’m pregnant.” You confessed.
Then there was a pause as you wait for him to blow up and accuse you as a whore. But he said nothing.
“I’m nine weeks pregnant..” you sobbed again but Gray still held you in his arms, there’s no sign he would let you go, “I don’t know who’s the father, I can’t remember anything, I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry, oppa..” you sobbed even harder, “I’m dirty, I don’t deserve you. I’m–”
“Nine weeks?” He asked.
“It’s not yours, we just get together for a week.” You wiped your tears but damn this tears won’t stop coming out.
“You’re pregnant.” He said slowly but his face was unreadable, you had no idea he was mad or shocked.
“I know, please forgive me.. I will accept the fact that you want to break up-”
“You’re pregnant?” This time he asked you as if he didn’t listen your words.
“You can hate me, I deserve that..” you cried but Gray cupped your face.
“Baby, you’re pregnant.” He looked at you with his glistening eyes. You were too stressed facing his reaction, instead of fuming, Gray only asked you the same question like a lost soul.
Tears kept falling down from your eyes, your eyes getting sore for too much crying and your head felt heavier, the feel of thousands needless poking your head came again, this time was more intense and unbearable for you. You gasped in pain, clutching Gray’s arms for support.
“Y/n? What’s wrong? Where do you feel the pain?” He said in hurry and worry tone.
When you wanted to say something, you felt something painful on your stomach, as if someone punched your stomach over and over. It was terrible pain then you felt something thick dropping on your thigh and down on your legs.
It was blood! The baby! No!
When you found yourself looked at it, you became hard to breathe, once you lost your balance and everything disappeared from your vision.