"we don't always fall in love with the most suitable people, do we?"
- ken follet -
— × —
i decided to go to the arcade today. i wish i hadn't. it is somewhere we used to go together. i haven't been here since we broke up.
i always sucked at the dancing games. you used to laugh because i never lasted a minute before giving up.
you were great at the basketball and racing games too. but i always beat you at the shooting game. it was the only game i could shine at besides pacman and air hockey.
i'm standing there now. shooting at targets and hitting every single one. i've been stuck there almost half an hour now. i've racked up quite a number of tickets.
a boy asks if he can play. nodding, i finally move on from there with my long roll of tickets.
i have nothing else to play. i've exhausted all the games i'm really good at here. i guess it's time to turn in my tickets for a prize.
i have a ridiculous amount of them. i lost track of how long i've been here. i spent too long on each game i played. i think i have enough to get a pretty good prize.
at the ticket counter i see a big stuffed elephant. i want it. i hope i have enough tickets for it. i ask for the cute pastel green elephant, passing the attendant my tickets.
he counts them and surprisingly its just a little over what i needed for the toy. i get the elephant and a whistle.
just as i'm taking the whistle i hear a voice. your voice. i'd know it anywhere.
the sound of chocolate dipped in honey. liquid sweetness. smooth and calm. it used to be music to my ears. now it is like a sharp string tearing at my heart.
without looking back, i yank the whistle out of the poor boy's hands and dash in the opposite direction of your voice.
i hide behind my new elephant, hoping against hope that you don't see me. i run until i'm out the doors and in my car. i take in a deep breath.
and maybe that makes me a coward. but i am not ready to face you just yet. i can't help how i feel.
☀☀☀
anyone ever run away or go the other way bc of an ex? i have