STASIA
I have nightmares all night. I've had medication to help, but it's not working.
The only thing stopping me screaming the place down is Drew, he won't leave me which is awesome! He really calms me but I still can't get the look of Tommy..... out of my head. The blood... god I hope they tell us soon it's killing me that this is on me.
I feel Drew move then he asks, "How are you feeling now beauty?" I just smile I have no idea why he calls me that I know he's seen my scars and they're anything but!!!
He's never asked which makes me think why! I know I told him what happened but he never pushes.
I have no idea how I feel either! The man I feared my whole life has found me, stuck a knife in my side and told me some things he wants to do with me!!!
Then things got hazy I remember trying to get to Tommy but I don't think I made it.
His head was a mess.... I remember the weird noises! That's when I ran out the back, the cook was in the toilet and I knew Tommy was here, so I thought I was safe!!
Boy, was I wrong..... and Frankie didn't even need to hold me cause I was frozen to the core. I couldn't move if I tried!! Everything Nana Sally taught me, went out the window.
I blanked out the rest.... The doc said I'll remember when I'm ready.
"I'm ok, can you go find out some news please! I'll feel better when I know he's ok."
Drew rubs my back and snuggles into me without hurting me and takes a deep breath.
"God, you smell good beauty.... Bullet will be in soon with Sophie so we will find out then. And hopefully, Soph will calm the fuck down she's been driving Bullet batty, Bullet caught her twice trying to get to you he said he was going to tie her to the bed soon if she keeps this shit up!"
"What? is Sophie ok why would he say that she's my best friend!"
"Beauty.... he's trying the only way he knows how to keep those girls safe... so don't you give him shit either.... You hear me?"
Give him shit!! His dam controlling friend is going to ... Omg, she is going to kill me, shit....
After about an hour or so, the doc comes in to check on me saying I can go home, but no moving around cause the stitches will either leak or burst open again!
I agree to his terms and the doc organizes my release papers.
Once he's gone, Drew is looking at me with concern in his eyes.
"Beauty I need you to listen and I don't want you worrying about money or anything are you listening!"
I nod thinking he's going to tell me he's putting more men on me at work!
"You're not going back to work until we have this sorted I'm not risking you or your friends."
I start shaking my head,
"No..no that's not happening we have bills to pay, rent... food all of the above.... You might have your club but I can't do this to Sophie.... That's her place and I need to work Drew, it keeps me busy you can't make me stop!"
Jesus, I need him to stop he can't do this I'll never be able to support myself, Sophie will kick me out then I mumble "she'll probably kick me out anyway for bringing this trouble to her house!"
Drew chuckles at this and it just makes me mad!
He has no idea!
By the time Drew ... yes, Drew, had me showered (a male nurse came in to do it or help me to the bathroom and Drew nearly had a fit..) I was nearly ready to leave when the door burst open and Sophie runs to me and hugs me. She is crying mumbling something I look to the door and Bullet is shaking his head at Drew implying don't ask! Sophie just holds me and tells Bullet "you can leave now!"
And that was my first clue that she was pissed then she grabbed my face telling me,
"we are going to work this out... how much damage did that asshole do to you.... That idiot won't tell me!"
And now I know she is pissed, but Bullet just stood there without a care at all! He actually looks like he's smirking.... What the hell... Drew comes to me and kisses the top of my head, "I'm going to check there's nothing else you need when I get you home!" Then walks out and Bullet just stands there leaning against the window ledge!
"Sophie I'm fine, I'm more worried about Tommy than me! We still haven't heard anything about him!" she looks at Bullet for the first time, then back at me shaking her head. Something isn't right, there not telling me something. I step away from her and stare in her eyes, looking for anything she could be telling me, or what she's not telling me,
"Sophie... what? W- What is it?"
She's just about to tell me something when Drew walks in and he's not happy.He looks at Bullet then shakes his head, I hear him ask softly
"Why did no one tell me!"
Bullet is quick to answer "You need to check your phone we did as soon as it happened, came out of surgery at 1 am then passed away at 4:30 am... stroke Mira's a mess and the girlfriend wants us all dead so we need to make a move get the girls back!"
I can't believe he's dead... he didn't make it... I knew... maybe......... omg..... I start to shake my head hoping I don't lose it right this minute then I hear Drew..... "breathe. Beauty....., just Breathe.... we will figure this out!"
"W- Why are they doing this to me I-I was a child, now they want to....what to rape me as an adult and kill people I know and love to get to me........ why?... didn't I go through enough.... I can't ... I can't let anyone else d-die because of me!!"
Drew is holding me now I'm crying hard in his arms he's just comforting me shushing me and soothingly calming me I can't believe this is happening. His poor girlfriend... they were working it out.
"I need to see her!" Drew pulls me back to him, "You're not seeing her till she stops threatening us! Just give her time beauty then I'll take you there!"
I nod but I don't think I really know what I'm agreeing to.
The rest of the day is a haze, we get to the club and we eat, well I pick at my food.
I go to bed after cuddling with Keeta for a while and my nightmares seem to stay at bay tonight I have no idea why.
I know Drew wakes me through the night for meds, my pain relief but then I fall back to sleep I know the guys have been in and out of meetings (church so they call it) but I have no idea what they're talking about in them. I get up to have a shower when Drew comes in with coffee and starts to help me.
"I'm fine I can do this thanks"
"Beauty anytime I can have you naked I will.... but when you're broken in any way, I got you.... Now come on!"
He starts to help me with my top... my dressing needs changing but he says,
"I'll do it after the shower, the dressing will come off easier."
I nod knowing he's right.
In the shower, he is a complete gentleman and takes good care of me. He's not all innocent though he kisses my neck the way that makes me tingle all over and holds my body like he owns it, which I'm pretty sure he does now.
When we're finished he changes the dressing and helps me dress then walks with me to the kitchen when he starts making or rather grabbing my toast and more coffee.
Krip comes over and sits with us while we eat and asks how I'm doing he grabs my hand shaking his head,
"That was close little bird, you scared the shit out of me... this ain't happening again you hear me!" I nod then Drew takes my hands back and glares at him.
I don't think he liked being kept in the dark! Or he just doesn't like anyone touching me, he's been brewing since yesterday.
Sophie comes in and says she needs to get Keata's prescription, so we all go, well me Drew Bullet and Sophie, Mira keeps Keata for us they have been drawing and Keata wants to stay.
Soon we are all in the truck and on our way to the house and Drew's quiet I rub his shoulder "honey are you going to be ok?" Then I lean into him he smiles at me shaking his head,
"You just made it better Beauty." Then he pecks my lips, I don't know why he said that.... But I just hope no one blames me for Tommy!
Bullet is turning down our street. As we approach I see some stuff on the sidewalk then ask Sophie,
"Are we behind on our rent"
Bullet answers,
"No, you aren't"
but he looks at Drew, then the road again.
As we drive past I know why the place has been turned upside down.
I think the whole lot has been thrown out side and cut up. Sophie has her hand over her mouth and is freaking with tears running down her face...
I can't stay here I've wrecked her life I've wrecked everyone's lives they're not going to stop!..... This can't be happening......
I zone out.... We didn't stop, I'm in Drew's room staring at the door when Cobra walks in with Krip and Drew, they look mad. I know it's my fault they won't have to worry.... I stand up and rub my legs a bit hoping to warm them up I feel ice cold.
I look at them all then clear my throat,
"I never meant to bring trouble here and I never wanted anyone to be at risk when I came here, I never thought he'd find me please believe me..."
As I'm about to go on Drew cuts me off
"Stasia he was always going to find you. I think It was just a matter of time!"
I'm nodding cause I know what I have to do I either have to submit to my father and except my life..., which starts me shaking... or run and hope he never catches me... I'm about to say what I'm doing but Cobra comes to me and hugs me tight and says into my hair "little bird you became part of my family a long time ago, we might have lost each other for a while but I never gave up looking and I'm Not giving up now.... You're not running you hear me!."
Shaking my head I tell him,
"Cobra you mean everything to me as well and your son if not more, but if something happened to any of you, even you Krip I-I just couldn't d-deal!" I'm crying but I'm determined now I have to go I know it in my heart.
"Beauty we have a plan you need to trust us! You can't run!"
"I don't think you understand Drew... I-I don't have a choice this time!" Cobra moves away and says he'll be back but I need a shower so I turn and say
"I'll be a while can we talk later !" Drew just tells Krip he'll find him later so he leaves with a nod.
Once in the bathroom, I jump straight into a hot shower. I start scrubbing slowly at first then memories start flooding my mind... and I start putting more force behind my scrubbing just when I think I can't handle anymore Drew is there to help me.... This makes me cry harder, why ... I can't take it anymore he needs to let me suffer, I need to not feel.
I pull away and my stitches pull and hurt like a bitch "shit... don't Drew you can't anymore! You need to let me go.."
"Like fucken hell! You are with me wherever I am! Beauty you don't get to leave, you are mine as much as I'm yours, so don't get any ideas..."
argh, he just won't listen... but I've made my decisions I just have to find a way to leave!