Chapter 22 - ''Rekindle''
Gray Fullbuster
I looked all around the carnival for her but for some reason it was like she disappeared, I couldn't find her anywhere.
Freed probably already found her.. it's useless.
No, I can't think like that. Natsu is right. I can't let his push be for nothing.
I forced myself to keep going, letting my eyes carefully search the area for just a glimpse of blue hair. Anything that related to Juvia.
Come on Juvia.. I can't stand this feeling anymore.
I kept walking now out of breath from all the running I did before. I was getting tired but I couldn't give up.
I'm done with giving up.
Life doesn't wait up for anyone, I have to make my decisions and quick before it's too late.
Even though it already is too late in this case.. but I still have to fix this.
My eyes finally caught the person that I was looking for. She was sitting alone by herself on a bench, staring down at the ground with her hands in her lap.
Juvia..
I felt like my heart was about to jump out my chest in fear. This is it. I can do this.
On my way over to her I could feel her eyes on me but she didn't move or even look up at me, she just sat still.
I slipped into the seat next to her on the bench. There was this awkward tense moment of silence and neither of us dared to break the ice.
Come on, say something!
''I'm sorry, Juvia.''
''Then why did you do this.'' She immediately responded, gazing up and over at me. ''Why have you been ignoring me?''
She's not speaking in third person. That means I really fucked up.
''I.. don't mean to be dramatic or anything,'' Juvia started. ''But I'm hurt. You're my best friend, Gray. And lately you haven't been there for me. You've obviously been ignoring me.''
''I have.'' I admitted.
''We've always done everything together, Gray. We went through Hell and back. I just don't understand.. what did I do?'' Juvia asked in pain, there were tears in her eyes. ''What did I do?'' She repeated once again, looking at me for an answer.
''You didn't do anything Juvia,'' I stared at her. ''It's all me.''
''It's hard to believe that when you take it out on me. So then what's wrong with you? What's your problem?'' Juvia questioned.
''I've just been having issues.''
''You're always fucking having issues, Gray.'' She snapped in anger. ''I don't understand, you know that I'll be there for you, no questions asked. Why can't you do the same?''
''I've done the same all along Juvia. You know that. I've been there for you during all those times your parents hit you.. and yelled at you..'' I gulped at the end of my sentence. Her past has always been a sensitive topic, I didn't want to make her even more mad at me.
''This isn't the same Gray!'' Juvia got up and stood in front of me. ''This time it's different. I'm not there anymore. They won't hurt me here. And for once in my life I'm actually happy. I have a boyfriend.. yet you aren't there to celebrate with me, you're just busy pretending that I don't exist and leaving me out of everything.''
''Juvia..'' I mumbled, not knowing what to say.
''Save your breath Gray if you're not going to tell me your side. I've told you mine, it's up to you to tell yours if you want to fix this. You need communication to have a friendship. I don't think you can be best friends with someone if you just ignore them.''
Fuck no, I'm not about to let this happen again.
I also stood up, facing her. ''It's me, okay! It's not you! I'm sorry, okay? I've.. been selfish. I wasn't happy about something that obviously makes you happy so I decided to ignore you. But even though I wasn't happy about it that doesn't mean I should've done that. I should've been more mature about the situation instead of acting like a child.''
''What were you not happy about it?'' Juvia asked.
''Freed!'' I snapped, my emotions all over the place. ''I don't like him, I never did. I don't think he's a good guy for you.''
''Gray, he's my boyfriend. He makes me happy..'' She fiddled with her fingers.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down and regain my posture. ''I know. That's why I've been acting like a child. If he makes you happy then I should be happy.''
''I didn't know you had such a problem with him though. You should've told me.''
''You're right, I should've told you instead of letting it get in the way of our friendship. I'm sorry Juvia. I hurt you a lot for such a petty reason.'' I opened my arms for a hug. ''Are we cool?''
''We're cool.'' Juvia accepted my hug, she felt warm which was satisfying on this chilly winter night.
There's no way I can tell her about my feelings for her now. She's in a relationship and I shouldn't disturb her happiness. She truly hasn't been happy in so long.. she deserves this.
I need to stop acting like a child and just hide my feelings. It doesn't matter if I'm hurting. As long as Juvia is happy then I'm happy.
Right?
''Thanks for finally talking to me Gray. I missed you so much.''
''I missed you too, Juvia.'' I confessed sincerely.
''Please don't do this again. If you have a problem then just speak up. If Freed really makes you feel that bad then.. I don't know, but I'll be careful I guess.'' Juvia gave me a smile. ''You don't have to worry.''
I wish it were that simple.
Jellal Fernandes
''What gives, Jellal?''
I should've thought this through! We were having fun and I just suddenly pulled her behind this booth.
How am I supposed to tell her?! I can't do this! It'll ruin everything!
''I just thought.. that we need to talk.''
''Then say so Jellal.. you hurt my arm pulling me back here. But what's up?'' Erza asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
Fuck, am I a god damn idiot?! I can't tell her! She's going to find it weird and our whole relationship will be gone!
''Jellal?'' Erza called, waving her hand in front of my face. ''What's up?''
I snapped out of it, staring at her. ''I'm sorry for zoning out.''
''It's okay Jellal.. what did you want to talk about?'' Erza questioned in concern.
''I.. are you staying? Or are you going back home?''
This is not what I wanted to say but it will have to do. I can't tell her. I just can't.
''I don't know. I haven't decided yet. But I think..''
My heart was racing in fear at what she was about to say. Her decision will change everything. If she goes then I won't see her for a long time. Would I be able to handle that after being away from her for so long? I couldn't stand it.
''... that I might stay.''
A sense of relief was released inside of me, the terrifying fear that was coursing through my veins disappearing. ''Really?''
She nodded. ''I never got to really experience it here.''
''I'm so happy, Erza.'' I pulled her into a hug without thinking. ''I didn't want you to leave.''
Erza froze up for a moment but slowly returned the hug. ''I wouldn't leave you here alone, Jellal. We'll get through this year together.''
Wow. It felt weird hearing her say that. It's just that.. we're supposed to be best friends, and now it finally felt like we were after everything that happened. It finally felt like she wasn't pushing me away.
''Good. It sucks without you here.'' I stated bluntly, letting of her. Even though we were no longer hugging we still kept a close distance to the point where I could feel her breath.
Her face is so close..
My eyes lingered down to her plump lips. The desire to kiss her was growing more by the second. Erza didn't say anything or move, she just kept her eyes on me.
I can't do this.
I cleared my throat. ''We should get out of here, it's getting late.''
''.. Okay...'' Erza trailed off, sounding slightly disappointed.
We then left from behind the booth and went to go find the entrance to leave. But the whole time all I could think about is the perfect opportunity I wasted to kiss her. I wanted to..
I can't.
No matter how much I want to, I can't. She's my sister.
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Hi everyone! Here's another chapter. I wasn't thinking of doing an author's note but I just wanted to inform you that I'm estimating for Chapter 40 to be the final chapter. Just giving you a heads up!
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed.
Bye.