TRIS POV
A familiar sharp jawline lined with stubble is the first thing my eyes land on when I awake.
Half of my body is thrown on top of Tobias's, and I don't know how we ended up like this, but I am not complaining. Puffs of air tickle the top of my head, and I cuddle up into him even closer. I stay in the comfortable position until my extreme thirst coaxes me to my feet.
Stifling a groan when my sore feet hit the floor, I shuffle my way over to the bathroom. Those dreaded heels combined with all the dancing and standing around took everything out of me. I was too exhausted to do anything last night besides collapse in Tobias's arms and let him carry me upstairs. I sucked it up and managed to change into a shirt and shorts, but then I got excessively needy that late at night and stumbled down the hall to his room. After he told me he loved me, I wanted nothing more than to stay as close to him as possible.
Despite the aching, I still stop and take a moment to watch my boyfriend sleep, smiling to myself. His mouth is slightly opened, though it doesn't cause him to snore. His hair is messy, and his face is so relaxed that he almost doesn't look like the same person.
I can't handle how adorable he is sometimes.
Finally, I move to go to the bathroom. Knowing that I probably look like a mess right now, I skip looking in the mirror and go straight to filling up a stray glass cup with water from the faucet. Drinking it soothes my throat, so I set the glass down and go back to bed.
But when I return to the bed, Tobias's face is no longer peaceful, and instead it is contorted into a pained expression. His eyes are squeezed shut, his breaths harsh and sharp.
Must be a nightmare.
"Tobias," I whisper, shaking his bicep to wake him up. It strains underneath my hand. "Hey, Tobias, wake up. It's just a dream."
Suddenly, he sits up so fast that I don't have any time to move, so our foreheads collide painfully.
"Ow," I whine, massaging my head to relieve the ache.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he mumbles groggily, rubbing his eyes and lying back down. I do the same, this time putting some distance between us to avoid another mishap, but still curling up to him.
"Do you have nightmares a lot?" I ask.
He shrugs and rolls over to face me. "I guess." He sounds fine, but he looks spooked and deeply affected by whatever he saw in his mind.
It brings out a pity in me that I would never show him. I knew that he had nightmares, but I was not aware that they happened this often, or that they had a lasting impact on him.
My upcoming question is risky, so I bury my face in his chest to hide from him. "Do the antidepressants help?" I inquire slowly and carefully.
To my luck, he seems too sleepy to care. I feel his fingers start carding through my hair, and it lets me know that he is not angry that I snooped a long time ago, or insecure that he has the pills. His temper used to scare me, but now I know what makes him upset and don't like to push his buttons just because I don't like arguing with him.
"I don't really take them anymore," he replies smoothly, as if the inquiry didn't even faze him. "They had a negative effect on me. Like not only did I get nauseous a lot, but they also made me feel...not like myself."
"Oh."
I reach for his hand, interlacing our fingers. While we are both silent, basking in the feeling of getting to sleep in and lie together, I trace the veins in his hand lightly, and then the scars and callouses that mar both of his hands yet make him himself. They must be from fighting; I feel indifferent when it comes to that.
"You know what today is?"
I continue my movements, shaking my head because I can't think of anything of importance no matter how hard I search my brain.
"Our anniversary. One year ago today, we met."
Sitting up at his words, I turn to face him, speechless. He lounges on the bed nonchalantly and gives me a mischievous grin.
"Why didn't I know that?!" I exclaim. "Oh my God, I feel like a jerk..."
He chuckles and reaches for my hand. "Relax. It's not a big deal."
"Yes, it is!" The more I think about it, the more upset with myself I become. I am so rude. I totally forgot, I didn't even get him a present! If he got me one, I'm screwed. Okay, time to deflect in case he did... "Has it really been a year though? It feels like it has been a lot longer."
"I know." He sits up and says, "Don't kill me, but I got you something."
"Tobias!" I cry out, feeling extremely selfish. Not only did I not get him a gift, but he spent his own money on whatever he got me, and I know that he doesn't have much. He should be focusing his money entirely on his mom.
Tobias reaches over to his side drawer, where I had originally found the file and antidepressants—as expected, they are no longer there. When he pulls out a black rectangular box, I come to the conclusion that he got me a necklace, and my guilt just gets heavier.
"Open it," he orders. Hesitating only for a brief second, I take the box from him and flip open the lid to reveal a beautiful silver necklace with some kind of bird attached to the center, with its wings spread out as if it was flying.
I gasp, covering my mouth. "Tobias, it's gorgeous!"
"When I saw it, I immediately thought of you. It's a raven, which symbolizes guidance and protection," he explains.
"Like a bodyguard," I conclude.
He smiles at me when I look back up from the piece of jewelry. "Like a bodyguard. I figured if I wasn't there with you for some reason in a dangerous situation, then it could be a charm that would keep you safe."
Setting the box to the side carefully, I practically launch myself at him, wrapping him into a suffocating hug because I can't thank him enough for such a thoughtful gift. "Thank you," I say. And then I try out the new words once again, "I love you."
I can tell that that one sentence means so much to him in the way he pulls me impossibly close and refuses to move. I don't know what he had to endure growing up, but I do know that his mom was his only real family member, and that he didn't have any love shown to him by anyone other than her. To him, love must mean family and belonging, and I am proud to be able to give that to him now.
"I love you too. So much," he reminds me.
Once we loosen our grips on each other enough to pull back, I stay in his lap, reaching for the box again. I admire the necklace for another moment.
"Seriously, thank you," I reiterate. "You shouldn't have."
"No problem." His eyes are lit from seeing my happiness, but I still feel shameful accepting this present. It must have been expensive; he probably couldn't even afford it.
But it would hurt him more if I didn't take it.
I turn around and hand it back to him. "Put it on me?" After brushing my hair out of the way, he obliges, taking the necklace out of the container and clasping the chain around my neck.
When he finishes, I feel his lips on the back of my neck, and then his forehead, and I can't help but wonder why I would ever need any extra protection when I have him.
xXxXx
TOBIAS POV
My phone vibrates, interrupting the movie, but I silence it and reach over Tris's shoulder for some more popcorn. Undoubtedly, Eric is calling me yet again to remind me that he is supposedly watching my every move in an effort to scare me into completing my mission.
Yeah. I'm so terrified.
I guess I should be taking this seriously, but his threats are empty. He cannot even see what is going on in this house in the first place because I blocked all hacking into the security system with a firewall, which only someone as talented as me could figure out. I still have a week or so left before I have to cut and run, at least until I rat out Dauntless.
My chest aches when I am reminded. I even get a brief heat flash like the ones I get during nightmares.
The blonde cuddling up to me on the couch is oblivious to my struggles. Her eyes stay transfixed on the TV, on the movie, while I internally battle with myself over leaving her soon.
But it's not yet. Don't worry about it.
My lips are drawn to the top of her head like a magnet. She grins up at me sweetly, leaning in for a kiss, which I reciprocate.
"Woah, what?!"
Tris bites my lip on accident. We spring from our seats, popcorn flying everywhere because of our scare. Somehow we both end up on the floor, laughing over how ridiculously distracted we were, and then we look behind the couch to see who shouted at us.
"Caleb?" Tris groans. Oh right, her brother is back. He moved out of his dorm and back to the house just this morning, we found out. She didn't seem to care, but I bet deep down she is glad that he is home.
"Yes," he confirms her obvious statement. "What were you two doing? Are you two a thing?"
Tris blushes and opens her mouth to respond, but she can't seem to find any words, so I fill in for her. "Yes. We've been together for a while now," I say simply, ignoring my throbbing bottom lip.
Caleb sticks his tongue in his cheek and leans on the couch to look down at us, like we are a couple little kids who got caught with our hands in the cookie jar. "Does Dad know about this, Beatrice?" Shit. He is going to make us tell.
She tries to find a way to dodge his question but fails miserably. "No," she eventually mumbles.
"Hmm." He taps his chin. "I think he needs to know. I'll go tell him."
"No, wait!" Tris leaps over the couch and grabs onto his arm to keep him from walking any further out of the room. Sighing, she turns to me, "Should we...?"
I nod. "It's time." We need to let her parents know about us. We have put this off for far too long, and although it was not Caleb's place to force us, he gave us a little shove in the right direction.
She holds out her hand to me, and I walk around the couch to take it. After making brief eye contact, we head to her father's office to announce our news.
xXxXx
"So, what did you need to discuss with us?" Andrew asks.
Tris twiddles her thumbs in her lap next to me while we both try to find a way to begin. I was confident that I would be able to tell him about our relationship a few minutes ago, but now, sitting across from him and his wife who is perched on the arm of his chair, I am starting to rethink this whole thing.
What if he is pissed? What if he fires me? What if he forbids us from seeing each other?
"Uh..." Tris glances over at me anxiously, and I know that I will have to be the one that reveals our secret. Taking a deep breath, I blurt it all out to rip off the bandaid. "Tris and I are together. We have been for nine months."
And both of the Priors look so astonished and unreadable that I feel the need to explain myself to persuade them that this is okay. I take the opportunity while they are dead silent.
"I love her," I admit, reaching over to hold her hand. She smiles at me reassuringly. "And I know we aren't supposed to be dating, and I know this is frowned upon, but we have already made it this far and—"
"Tobias," Andrew laughs, cutting off my rambling. "Relax."
My shoulders immediately drop. He doesn't seem mad; is he?
"Listen, I am not upset like you probably expected. You have been nothing but loyal to her and kept her safe, and because of this I have come to completely trust you with her life. Also, I have gotten to know you over the past year, and you are a good man, Tobias. I don't doubt that," he declares shortly, always a man who gets straight to the point. "I trust you with her."
I wonder if Tris is as surprised as I am. If I would have known it was this easy to get approved, then I would have had this talk a long time ago. No more sneaking around, no more hiding...
"Thank you, sir," I say, holding out my hand for him to shake it. "It means a lot to me—to us—that we have your approval."
It is a tad awkward after he shakes my hand. That is, until Natalie breaks the silence with, "I knew it."
"What? How?" Tris asks. I thought we were careful too.
Her mother shakes her head, grinning. "I've seen the way you two look at each other when you think I'm not looking. Not only that, but that party last night was a dead giveaway. You two were so cute dancing together—"
"Mom!" Tris exclaims, embarrassed.
And then both parents proceed to tease us about our obvious relationship while we turn red in our chairs. When we leave the room, Andrew calls after us, "One rule though: you two don't go anywhere near a bed!" By then, we are sufficiently uncomfortable.
But who cares? We can openly have a relationship now, and I couldn't be happier.
xXxXx
This chapter is dedicated to @AndreeDia!
Ok so you'll probably be like, "um no, that's not what ravens commonly symbolize" (they are a symbol of protection in some cultures but that's besides the point). But obviously I wanted to have some parallels to Divergent and have it fit, so I had to twist that a little. Things have a ton of different symbolic meanings anyway, so let's just go along with it.😂