'Please darling, please stay strong. Wake up for me. If you don't hell will break loose,' Maria begs. 'Luke will let his anger out on all of us. Wake up for all of us.'
I can hear her do things and I feel her taking blood. I scream from the inside, but nothing works. What is going on with me. Why am I stuck in my own body? What if I stay like this forever and they think I am dead? What if they give up on me? Who will save me then?
Hours pass and all I can hear are different voices begging me to walk up for all kind of different reasons. Different smells coming in the room and most of them I don't even know.
'Please, sweetheart, wake up for me. Wake up for Luke. He will totally break. He acts all strong, but he cares for you. He even told me he loves you. Please, wake up. Don't leave us while we can't figure out what is going on with you.'
If I could cry I would. Her words make me sad, but happy at the same time. He told his mother he loves me and that is a hole lot. I don't even know if I am in love with him. I keep falling and falling for him over and over again, but I don't know if I can call it love. Not yet. I am too afraid. Afraid of being everything he doesn't want.
'She just left me, left us. I was devastated. I didn't want to go on with life. No one knew that I loved her, not even her, because loving her wasn't possible. Not only was she older, but she was also... Why am I telling you this? You are down and I am telling you about my long lost love who left the pack with her mate and never looked back. Not even once. She didn't even call to say she was okay. One day she was there and the next she wasn't. I searched everywhere for her, but it seemed like she didn't want to be found. I was broken, more than anyone else and then Romy came along. She loved me the moment she laid eyes on me. I mated her and claimed to love her, but I never really did. She knew and she still knows, that's why we can't have pups. She hates me for it, but I can't touch her while I think of her. I have never laid with the girl I was or am in love with, but everything in my body wishes that Romy was her. I haven't touched Romy for almost a year and it doesn't hurt me that she is gone. The only reason she stays with me is probably because she cares about he pack, her pack, my pack, our pack. The pack knows we are unhappy. They all blame me and I know it is my fault. Noone knows who the girl is that I love. I think that maybe if I see her again, with her family and her pups. Maybe then I will find ease.'
I cry. Inside of me. I cry and I am sure my wolf, wherever she is, is crying too for the truth.
'I know it sounds stupid. We are wolves for Christ sake. We don't get married like humans do. We don't let ourselves fall in love first, the mate bond does that for us. I never let him touch me. I didn't even let him mark me. I am too scared. Scared that he will only love me because of the mate bond. I am scared he won't love me for me, just like Marcus just pretends to love Romy. I don't want Brandon to not love me, but pretend because of a bond the goddess created between us.'
Why is everyone trusting me with their stories? Am I that trust worthy or is it easier to talk to someone who probably isn't listening anyway. They would be amazed how much I hear. I hear everything to be precise.
'I love her to the Moon and back and beyond that. I don't know what she wants more. I don't know what to show her more than just love her like I already do. Everytime I want to touch her, comfort her, hug her, she takes a few steps back. It's like she is rejecting me, but she isn't saying the words. She keeps saying she needs time, but I have been waiting for almost six years now and I am running out of patience. I need her. Can you wake up and tell her that I need her? I tell her myself over and over again, but... Nothing works. I asked her to marry me, but she didn't take me serious. She doesn't want to go on a date with me either. She is all about work. I don't blame her for that, but sometimes it is good to be selfish even if it is just a little bit.'
***
It has been quiet for a few hours or days or weeks. I don't really know. I can't really tell when it is day and when it is night. It is all the same. It feels all the same. I am tired, but I can't sleep. My hole body is on fire, but not from the outside. It's like a burning feeling. I want to wake up, but I can't. Like I am trapped inside myself.
'WHERE IS SHE?,' I hear his voice scream through the hole house. I am sure the walls and ground are vibrating. The door opens and I can hear his heavy breathing.
'What the fuck happened to her?,' he asks way to angry.
'I uhhh... We don't know,' Maria stutters.
'What do you mean you don't know?,' he asks and i can taste his anger now. He holds my hand now and his warmth makes me want to hold him close. I wish I could. The goddess only knows how long I have been out and now he is finally here which tells me two things.
He is save and the war is over... For now.
If I could just wake up. I would hold him close and never let him leave my side ever again. I would hold him close and kiss him. I would kiss him as if it was my last. I wish I made him do things to me he wanted to do.
I wish that he and I were a real thing. Marked and mated.
Now I am done for and I have never been touched by a male.
Not really.
'She woke up in the middle of the night. She ran out of the packhouse and started talking weird and her eyes were pink or purple. She collapsed on to the floor and she has been the same for almost a three weeks now.'
Three weeks!
I am laying her for three weeks?
How is that even possible?
'So you are saying that she just fainted and didn't get back up?,' he asks with pure rage. I can feel his hand shake in mine. I don't want to see him right now. He must look awful. 'You better make sure she wakes up, Maria. I swear to the Moon. If she isn't awake before this week is over. I will murder you and everyone in this place! Now leave!'
Maria doesn't hesitate. She is out of the room in no time and then it is quiet. Way to quiet for a split second.
Then he takes a chair and sets it next to the bed. He sigh deep and I can feel his eyes pierce into my soul.
Call me forth, Luke.
'I was so happy when everything was finally over,' he sighs,' we won and we even found out why they attacked. Some wolves had unfinished business with my uncle, but they clearly had no idea that my uncle is dead. I thought about you every step off the way. I even got bitten because you were filling my head while I fighting. I thought about your face, your short tomboy hair, you soft lips. Oh, how I wanted to taste those lips. I didn't care what happened. All I knew is that I wanted and needed to get back to you. Then when I called you or anyone else no one answered and I got worried. I came here as fast as I could to find you here. Like this.'
If I am right I can hear him sob, but I am not sure. Can a strong and mighty Alpha male cry? For me?
'I never told you this, but I love you. I love you to the Moon and back,' he says and chuckles a bit.
It sounds so amazing, his chuckle. This is only the second time I heard it and it sounds amazing. I would love to hear it again and again.
And those words. I would love to hear those words a thousand times easy and every day. He kisses my temple and sparks fly telling me that I am somewhat still here and my body reacts to his touches. I only hoped he would see it or feel it.
'Come back to me,' he says, but I sounds more like a cry for help.
Why does he want me to wake up?
It is clear why most of the others want me to wake up... Fear.
But he... He wants me to wake up, because he loves me.
No one has ever loved me before besides my mother.
Look what made me do!
Soon... I promise!
I will always be your friend. Not even my mate can come between us.
If I could cry I would cry buckets full. I don't want to be like this. I want to be able to hold him, touch him, see him, kiss him. I want him to hold me close. I want to wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him on the cheek. I want to run my hands through his long hair and kiss his lips softly. I want him to rub my back, squeeze my thighs. I want him to take me, smell me, make me his. I want everyone to know that I am his and he is mine.
'Wake up, my Angel. Please come back to me.'
He rests his head near my side and when I hear a light snoring I know he has fallen asleep.
I love you too, my Luke.
***
When you smile, I smile too.
You can take away my tears with your smile.
Spread out your wings and fly my baby
Spread out your wings and fly away
Spread out your wings and fly my angel
Fly away from here.
'Momma, where did you learn this song?'
'I used to watch the pups when I was back home. Well... Help watch them. I loved singing for them and teaching them all sort of different things. I loved all of them. When I would go to them they would all scream my name. Besides my family that is what I miss the most.'
'But then why did you leave?,' the little girl asks.
'Because of love. When you love someone you'd do anything for that person. I would do anything for your father and for you.'
The little girl smiles at her mother and they hug each other.
***
Even though I am not awake yet, it's like I wake up from a deep slumber. He is still holding his hand and oh how I would die to see him sleep right now. He must look gorgeous, more than ever.
And he said something about getting hurt. Oh my goddess, where did he get hurt? Oh no!
The door opens and the smell of vanilla and cinnamon fills the air. I can feel Alpha Marcus look at me and then at him. He sighs deeply and comes in the room. I can feel him shake his brother lightly.
'What?,' my mate growls annoyed that someone woke him up.
'Come on, Maria will watch her. Come and eat something you seem weak and please let Maria look at that wound for you.'
Wound? What wound? Oh goddess please.
'I will be fine. It's my mate that needs to wake up,' he says lowly with a bit anger. He stands up and even though my eyes are closed and I am not really there, I can feel him tower over me.
'Don't be so selfish. If she was awake, do you think she would let you bleed like that?,' Marcus asks angry.
'But she isn't awake now is she?'
Marcus wants to say something again, but Luke growls lowly.
'Is she awake, Marcus?,', he yells.
'No, she isn't,' Marcus answers softly.
'So you better make her wake up, because this happened under your watch. You will be the first to go down!'
A low growl of a treat fills the air and all I can think about is that I need to wake up pretty damn fast before it is my cause that two brother fight it out.
Tan, tan, tan.
Oh how I love writing this story so much.
See you soon...