Chapter 21
~Jeremy~
I watched as she closed the door, and I cursed at myself.
I grabbed the pillow behind me and threw it at the door.
So I save the girl of dreams life and she can't even look me in the eyes. Nice going, Jeremy.
It's all your fault, said a voice in my head. You're the reason she has bags under eyes and doesn't eat completely.
I banged the back of my head on the wall behind.
She doesn't love you, Jeremy.
I blinked a couple of times, trying to ignore the voice.
She's only helping you because you saved her life. But we all know she doesn't love you, she loves Eric.
"Shut up," I whispered to myself, hitting my head again. I wanted it to stop.
Eric, her boyfriend for God knows how long. Eric the guy she loves. And what are you? Nothing but her best friend's cousin who saved her life.
"Shut up," I said again.
You're nothing to her. And now you're going to die for her.
"Shut up!"
This time I yelled it.
And I realized this was all in my head.
I groaned. Something wasn't right with me.
I passed my fingers through my hair as I looked at my leg.
Why was I alive? It didn't make any sense. I shouldn't have woken up when I passed out.
I shouldn't have, but I had done.
And I didn't know why.
There was knock on the door and my head shot up, hoping it was Ella.
But it wasn't.
It was Jake. And Ricky?
What now?
"You look terrible," Jake said, his hands in his pocket.
"Thanks," I said, sarcastically. I looked at Ricky. "Come here to hack my head off? Where's your axe?"
He shook his head. "No. I came to apologize for...trying to kill you," he said, looking at the ground.
"No worries," I said, smirking. "I would have done the same thing."
His head snapped up. "Really?"
My smirk grew wider. "Of course. I would have blown your brains out."
His face dropped. "Good to know."
We stared at each other for a moment as silence rang in the room.
Then we burst out laughing.
I couldn't laugh that much because I started coughing. Everytime I coughed I felt like my heart was going to give out. When I stopped, I noticed Jake was holding something.
"What's that?" I asked him.
He looked down at his hand as if he had forgotten about it.
"It's a radio we found in the basement, but it's busted. We were told that maybe you could fix it."
He walked over to the bed and handed it to me.
"Yeah, I can fix this," I said, looking at the small box with cut off wires.
It looked like whoever had cut this wasn't very smart. I could easily twist the wires together and it'd work.
"Good," he said, just as a beam of blue light came from the window.
"God ,what the hell is that?" I asked, turning my head to the window.
That fence turned on every time a Zombie touched it. I thought it was designed to turn on and kill the dead, but not the living.
It was scary, yet cool.
"I don't know, but we think the guy we found in the basement built it for protection."
"What guy in the basement?" I asked, confused.
I reached over and grabbed a glass of water for the table near the bed.
"Ella didn't tell you?" Ricky said, confused.
I shrugged, putting the cup down.
"Me and Ella aren't really on speaking terms right now."
Ricky raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything.
"Yeah, we found a body in the basement."
I almost choked on air. Body?
"Wait - he's dead?!"
"Yeah, stabbed," Ricky said as if it was the most casual thing ever.
I let out a sigh in frustration.
"I guess Ella didn't think to tell me this," I said coldly.
How could she keep something as big as a freaking dead body a secret from me?
"Well, Jeremy," Jake started, interrupting my thoughts, "she herself hasn't really thought of this. She has other things on her mind."
"Like what?"
"Like you dying because of her," Ricky said.
What?
"What? What do you mean 'because of her'?"
They didn't get time to respond because there was another knock on the door.
"Ricky, Lizzie is looking for you," Dominic said, opening the door.
Ricky nodded and turned to me.
"Hope you get better," he said, before slipping through the door.
"Yeah, I should go too," Jake said, backing up. "Feel better," he added as he left the room.
Then there were two.
"Hey, man," Dominic said, closing the door. "How are you feeling?"
"Like something is squeezing chest," I said, honestly. "But how are you?" I asked. I hadn't seen anyone since the crash.
He shrugged and held up his arms. They were wrapped up in bandages. It looked like he couldn't move them.
"Can't really hold anything for a while, but at least my heart is beating," he said, grinning. "Thanks to you."
"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "It wasn't really me. It was Alyssa."
I saw his head lower at my cousin's name.
"You should tell her," I said, almost in a whisper.
"Tell her what?" Dominic asked, raising his head alittle.
I sighed. How stupid could my best friend be?
"Dominic, you have to tell her the real reason you left."
He arched his eyebrow.
"How do you know why I left?" he demanded.
I smirked.
"My uncle was very discreet on telling my dad who exactly our new neighbor was," I said, smiling at the memory. He smiled at first, but then frowned.
"How could I tell Alyssa that her own father threatened to put me in jail if I didn't stay away from her?"
"The real question is, how couldn't you?"
"You don't know everything, Jeremy. Her life...her life was perfect before I came in to screw it up. I wasn't going to turn her against her father. I couldn't." He leaned against the wall near the door, lost in thought.
"OK, so my uncle was stopping you then. What's stopping you now?"
I knew my question was overpowering him, which was what I was going for. He had that thinking face on. I needed him to stop being afraid and realize that he was in love with my cousin.
If I was going to die, at least Alyssa was going to be happy.
"I don't - I don't know, Jeremy."
"You're not like your father," I said, coughing.
He didn't say anything which meant he didn't believe me. He actually thought he was like his drunkass father who beat him everyday?
"Dominic, promise me something," I said, licking my dry lips. "When I die-"
"You're not going to die, Jeremy-"
"If I die," I said, not really in the mood for arguing, "you'll look after Alyssa for me, right?"
He looked at me for a long time but didn't respond.
"Dominic, promise me," I said.
He sighed and passed his fingers through his hair.
"I promise, Jeremy."
There was another knock on the door.
"Jeremy, you awake?" I heard Alyssa say.
Dominic's eyes widened.
"Yeah," I said, and she came in.
She looked at me, then to Dominic.
"I should go," Dominic said quickly, pushing himself off the wall and leaving.
"Why is he running away from me?" Alyssa said, closing the door.
I laughed.
"He's not running away," I said, crossing my arms.
"He so is," Alyssa said, walking over to me and sitting on the chair Ella had put there.
"Yeah he is," I joked, smirking. S
he dropped her jaw and hit me in the chest.
"Ouch!" I said, putting my hand on my chest. "You're a very violence little ex-cheerleader."
She stuck out her tongue out at me, leaning back on the chair. I laughed at her childish behavior, despite the pain in my lower stomach.
"How are you?" she asked once we were done laughing.
I rolled my eyes. "Why is everyone asking me that?"
This time she rolled her eyes. "Because we care about you, Jeremy."
"Where's Ella?" I asked, looking everywhere but her eyes.
I heard her sigh.
"Sleeping. Which reminds me, I should probably go wake her up-"
"No!" I said, grabbing her arm to stop her from getting up. "Let her sleep. She needs it."
She looked at me before sitting back down. We were silent for a while.
"Jeremy... You never told us how...how you got that scratch," she said slowly.
No. I wasn't going to tell them the truth. If I was going to die, the truth would die with me.
"I was distracted and it grabbed my ankle, sinking its nails into my skin. Nothing more."
She nodded but didn't say anything. I hoped she didn't see past my lie.
We were silent again.
"Jeremy, do you remember the time you were trying to teach me how to ride a skateboard?" Alyssa said suddenly. "When we were ten?"
I laughed. "Of course. You cried for twenty minutes because you broke a nail."
She laughed as a tear fell down her eye.
Why was she crying?
"And you remember how you beat those guys up who kept making fun of me?" she said, looking down at her hands.
"Yeah," I said, softly. "I remember."
"You've always been there for me, Jeremy. You're like my big brother and I-"
"I love you too, Alyssa," I said, smiling at her.
She smiled back and suddenly attacked me with a hug. When she pulled away, she wiped eyes.
"God, look at me. I'm more emotional than your mom."
I tensed up at the sound of my mother.
Alyssa noticed this.
"What's wrong?" she asked, a worried look on her face.
"There's something I should tell you about your aunt," I said, not bothering to call her my mother. She is no mother to me. Not after what happened.
"What?" she asked, sitting back down.
"The reason we moved was because your aunt had another family."
Her jaw dropped.
"What? No - that's a lie-"
"That's what I thought, Alyssa," I said, leaning back. "When she and my dad were dating, she met this guy and apparently had a kid with him."
"No," Alyssa gasped, her mouth still hanging. "You mean to tell me you have a half-sibling?"
I didn't respond. I didn't care.
"Jeremy, what if they're alive?" she said. "What if they survived and-"
"I don't care."
She raised her eyebrow in confusion. "What?"
"I don't want to meet the thing she created when cheating on my dad. And the odds that they're alive are very small."
"But Jeremy-"
"No, Alyssa. Promise me you'll just forget about this," I said, my voice cracking.
"Fine, Jeremy."
I was going to change the subject, preferably to Dominic, but there was knock on the door.
Who now?
Lizzie walked in.
"Erm, Jeremy, can I talk to you?" She looked over at Alyssa. "Alone?"
Alyssa took the hint and started walking towards the door.
"Wait, Alyssa," I said, as she walked to the door. "Talk to Dominic, OK? For me."
She looked at me in confusion but nodded, heading out the door.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked, coughing.
"Um. I wanted to talk to you about what happened...when we were in the woods," she said, looking down at her hands.
"Lizzie ,it's fine," I said, sending her a reassuring smile.
"No, it's not," she said, looking at me. "I'm sorry I tried to kiss you. It wasn't right."
"It's fine," I said again.
Really, it was. The past was in the past.
"But I also want to apologize for saying that Ricky liked Ella," she blurted out, looking sad. "I know he doesn't like her."
"How do you know?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.
A small blush crept into her cheeks as she smiled.
"Because he likes me. He told me."
I smiled at her. "I'm happy for you, Lizzie."
One couple down, two more to go.
"I'd be happier if you were getting better," she said in a low whisper.
"Face it, it's not going to happen."
I know I'm gonna die. I just wish everyone knew it too.
A tear fell down her eyes and suddenly her arms were around me, hugging me. I hugged her back because, let's face it, I could die tomorrow.
And that was when Ella walked in.
"Oh," she said, without expression. This probably didn't look good. "I didn't realize you had company. I'll...just go-"
Damn it. She was leaving.
"No, wait, Ella," I said, quickly letting go of Lizzie. "Lizzie was just leaving."
I didn't want to seem harsh but I didn't want her to leave.
Hopefully Lizzie played along.
"Yeah," she said, getting up quickly. "I was checking up on him," she added as she slowly backed up to leave.
Ella mumbled something under her breath that I couldn't make out. But I was sure it wasn't a 'thank you'.
Lizzie didn't respond. She just ducked through the door and left, leaving me alone with a clearly pissed off Ella.
She didn't say anything as she walked over to me and kneeled in front of me.
Silently, she checked my forehead. I watched her carefully, wondering what the hell was going on in her head. It was then I realized how she looked like she'd crying. She wasn't looking at me still, but something was wrong with her.
"Ella, you alright?" I asked, hoping she'd at least look at me when I spoke.
She didn't.
"I'm fine."
Her voice cracked and I knew she was lying.
"Were you crying?" I asked, looking at her.
Her hands were shaking and she accidentally dropped the bowl of water onto the small rug that laid out in front of her.
"Shit," she said, looking around frantically.
"Ella," I said, trying to regain her attention.
She was crying and I wanted to know why.
She ignored me, as if I was not even there, and picked up the wet rug.
"Ella!" I said again.
Nothing.
She dropped the rug somewhere and came back to get the bowl.
That was when I grabbed her wrist.
"Ella."
This time it came out as a whisper.
"Let go of me, Jeremy. I have refill this with cold water," she said, trying to pull away.
It didn't work.
I pulled her closer and stood up. She still wasn't looking at me. She was facing the door.
I stood on my knees on the bed, in front of her and forced her to turn around. Placing
my hand on her chin, I forced her to look at me.
The minute she met my eyes, she burst into tears.
I pulled her in closer to me as she cried into my shoulder and I didn't say anything.
I just wrapped her arms around her neck and held her while she cried.
She cried for a long time.
But I didn't mind.
Then she pulled away, abruptly.
"You freaking idiot!" she yelled, pushing herself away from me.
OK, what the heck was that? One minute she's crying and now she's hitting me?
"What?" I said, completely lost.
She hit me in the chest. "You're a moron! You stupid, idiotic freaking bonehead!"
As she said this, she kept hitting me in the chest.
She was about to hit me again but I gripped her hand mid-way.
She let out an angry sigh. "You should've let me die, Jeremy."
I looked at her in confusion.
"What?"
"You should've let me die," she said again, in a lower voice. "At least that way you wouldn't be dying and-" She stopped as if something was caught in her throat. Then she said the last part in one breath, "-and I would be having nightmares of you coming back from the dead."
Was that why she didn't sleep?
I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her again.
"It's all my fault," she said into my ear.
I quickly let go and looked at her.
"No. It's not," I said, my voice serious. How could she think that?
"It is!" she insisted. "You saved me and-"
"Are you the reason people are coming back from the dead?" I demanded, crossing my arms.
"No, but-"
"The only person responsible is the person who created those monsters. Not you," I said.
She looked down. She didn't believe me.
"I don't regret it, you know," I said, crossing my arms.
She looked up at me.
"What?"
I smiled at her. "I don't regret saving you. If I had a chance to do it again, I would do it all the same."
She didn't respond. It looked like she was deep in thought.
"Thank you," she said, smiling up at me.
We looked at each other without saying anything for a long time.
I looked away first since I was suddenly getting cold. I cawled back under the sheets and I could still feel her eyes watching me.
Then I thought of something.
"I think I have a way for you get some sleep," I said with a full-on grin.
She looked at me suspiciously. I slid over so that there was space on the bed. Then I nodded towards it.
"What? No...no."
"I'm not taking no for answer," I said, rolling my eyes.
I peeled back the sheets. "Get in."
I saw her biting her lips before walking over and getting in.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me.
"Sweet dreams, Ella," I whispered.
She snuggled closer to me and I was already falling asleep.
But no matter how deeply asleep I was, I could have sworn I felt something brush against my lips.
But I must have been hallucinating.
Because Ella definitely would never kiss me.
I was dreaming.
"Goodnight, Jeremy."