CHAPTER 2 – TEAR IN MY FLAG
Inside the festival, we were surrounded by vendors, all selling pride-themed clothing and food and objects. It was fascinating to see how many things could be related to queer representation if it was modified just a little.
The people-watching opportunity was off the charts, but nothing less than I expected. People with beards in dresses, people wearing so much makeup they looked like dolls, people with no shirts at all, regardless of their gender, people with kids, people with family, people with a huge group of friends. They were all so happy to express themselves, so confident in everything they said and did, that you couldn't judge them if you tried.
Performers on a stage did some kind of interpretive dance with rainbow ribbons floating around their heads and their billowing skirts. Singers could be found scattered around the place, all singing songs they'd written themselves about self-love and acceptance into society.
After we'd been there about an hour, we bought sandwiches and water bottles from one of the vendors and sat in the shade.
"That sandwich looks hella good," a passing stranger said to Frank. "Where did you get it?"
"Oh, it is hella good. It's from that little tent over there. I recommend it," he replied, acting so casual that it was like he knew the guy.
"Sweet. Thanks. Hey, that paint on your arm is really cool."
It took me a second to realize he was talking to me. "It – oh, ah, thanks."
"Happy pride, bros." He walked away, toward where Frank had directed him.
"You, too!" Frank waved.
I looked at Frank. "Did you know him?"
"No," he shrugged. "Something about pride: everyone is your friend here. It's the best thing, isn't it?"
Everyone was my friend here? I guessed it made sense – every one of us was just looking for acceptance into a heteronormative world. Surely no one here cared about any conditions and instead considered everyone of equal worth.
It was unbelievable that a place like this was really real.
***
"We should get a pride flag!" Frank exclaimed as we were passing a booth selling them. I couldn't fight my adoring smile watching him act like a little kid at the sight of something he loved. He was so in his element.
There was a sign set up by the booth which listed out all kinds of sexuality and gender identity flags that they sold. Some of them were so specific I hadn't even heard of them.
"You know, now that I think about it, I asked you this a long time ago and it's not as relevant now, but... which one of these matches you?" He ran his finger absently down the list.
I kept my eyes on the sign, scanning all the different arrangements of letters and colors. None seemed to fit. I was disappointed that I couldn't give Frank an answer, but making it up would make things worse, right? "I gotta... I gotta be honest with you, Frank, I don't really know."
I hoped he wouldn't be frustrated by that, but still my worrying was futile. He squeezed my hand and it was a comfort. "That's okay. You don't have to put yourself in a box if you don't want to." He turned to the woman inside the tent and bought a huge rainbow flag for himself, which he then draped around his shoulders.
"What do you say we sit in the shade for a bit? I'm excessively hot," he suggested.
"True, you are." He laughed at my joke. "Only if ice cream is part of the deal."
"Sold."
***
We found a shade tree to sit under in the center of the park, behind the vendors on the street. Frank balanced his ice cream dish between his knees as he took the corner of his flag and draped it around my shoulders, his hand landing on my right. I let my left hand reach across me to hold it there. Of course, this required us to sit much closer together; something he, no doubt, was hoping to achieve. Despite the heat I eagerly snuggled closer to him while he took a bite of ice cream.
"So where do your parents think you are right now?" I asked him.
"Mm, I told them I was hanging with a friend. It's not really a lie," he said quickly, like he was afraid I'd call him out for dishonesty, "but still I'm not sure they bought it."
He sighed, and I felt his chest rise and fall.
"Hey," I nudged him. "No pressure, okay? Don't rush into coming out if you're not ready. I only worry about it happening wrong, and that kind of requires outrunning everyone else."
"Right, yeah. No pressure." He sounded like he was trying to brush it off, yet it was hard to say if he believed what he was saying.
"Wanna come with me to get another water bottle?" I held up my empty one for him to see.
"Sure; I'll need more soon, too."
"Can't be passing out due to dehydration today. Too much to do and see!"
He offered me a bigger smile. "You're right. I don't want to miss a second of this."
***
By the time the sun was setting and the weather finally cooled to a more decent temperature, Frank and I headed back to where I'd parked the car.
"You know," Frank murmured, looking down at the flag he was carrying, "I can't really take this with me. Do you want to keep it?"
"Sure, I'll hold onto it." He passed it to me, and I tossed him the keys. "Be there in a second."
We split when we got to the car so I could put the flag in the trunk and he could sit in the front. A little piece of me was heartbroken that Frank couldn't be himself at home, and one little piece of cloth (okay, one huge piece of cloth) could cause so much controversy at his house. I closed the trunk before I could start overthinking that and sat up front with him. Because there was some Higher Power on our side, apparently, the car was facing perfectly west, with an ideal view of the sunset through the windshield.
Frank gave me the keys back and I turned on the car for the sake of the air conditioning, but it was obvious neither of us wanted to leave quite yet. We only stared at the gorgeous oranges and yellows hidden behind purple clouds in near silence, content that way. A bird flew across the scene and Frank's fingers brushed over my hand. I laced our fingers together as if they hadn't been lingering over each other almost constantly the past few hours.
The sun sank lower in the sky, slowly turning the golden glow to a deep red.
"What time do you need to be home?" I asked.
"No specific time, really," he answered. "My mom knew I'd be out for a while."
"Okay."
Silence once again. I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed mine back.
"Um," Frank said a minute later, and I tore my gaze from one beautiful sight to another, "because I'm too afraid of doing this when you drop me off at my house, I'm going to get it out of the way now."
My heart seized up when he leaned toward me in the near darkness, but what a good kind of heart attack it was. His eyes flicked down to where I was subconsciously biting my lip and back up to my eyes. I met him in the middle.
We didn't kiss right away, only let our foreheads rest against each other, anticipation rising. Then our noses. I felt his breath on my upper lip.
Finally, we collapsed into a deep kiss.
I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a little uncomfortable, nothing like how romantic car-kisses seem to be in the movies. There was physically too much between us, and if we tried to move any closer the gear shift would press into our sides.
I found it easier to ignore the overwhelming desire to pull him closer to me as soon as he started smiling against my lips. That was more contagious than I thought it would be. I reached my hand behind his head and pulled him in further, entwining my fingers in his hair. His hands slowly found their way to the back of my neck and the side of my face. Was I thinking about something a moment ago? All I needed was him, the pressure of his hands on me, the press of his kiss on my lips. All I cared about was him. Right now, he was all that mattered.
A/N
Hello hello! This is actually one of the very first scenes I wrote in this book and it didn't change very much through editing; I hope it's up to par with the rest of it.
I was thinking about making this book a little more reader-interactive, should you choose to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets to the comment section on Wattpad (that's a joke; I see what your dirty minds are thinking at any given point in a fanfic. You can't hide). So leave a comment – your name, your sexuality, and your favorite concert you've ever been to (they all feel relevant to the chapter, don't you think?).
~Cassidy, pansexual, Trans-Siberian Orchestra!