Shaun came by almost every day after that, and he did so without any regard for Leroy's availability despite Leroy telling him when he had to work. When Shaun showed up unannounced one evening, when Leroy wasn't home, I wanted to send him back home first, but then I decided to let him in anyway. We watched a movie together, which was paired with a lot of commentary, most of it completely unnecessary but very amusing.
It was funny; Shaun was so different from Leroy. So different that, every time Shaun and my brother were together in the same room as me, all I heard was constant bickering. There was always a hint of playfulness to it, though.
Watching them gave me conflicted feelings. I was relieved to see them getting along, but I was aching to see my own soulmate. Before Mae finally got word back from her boss, I'd actually been tempted to ask where she lived so I could just drive over and wait for her to get back from work, but I didn't want to come across as a creep. I doubted she was as desperate to see me as I was to see her. I envied Leroy for how honest he was with Shaun. If only I could just tell Mae everything . . . she would finally understand. But it was too early, and I stood by that. At the earliest—if it went well—I would tell her after our date.
We'd scheduled it at the end of the week, and I'd already made reservations at a restaurant between our home cities so neither of us had to drive too far. It was still a long drive, but I didn't mind. At least we lived in the same state.
All that was left to do was wait.
I wasn't very good at that. The days passed slowly, and when I arrived at the restaurant, I was early. But I wasn't the only one. Mae was already seated at a table by the window, menu in hand. When she noticed me, she looked up with a bright smile. My heart tripped.
I returned her smile and walked over, taking my jacket off before sitting down across from her. Seeing her face alone was enough to put me in a good mood. I could look at her for ages. "Hi. How are you?"
"Come here," she said, reaching for my face.
My heart did a whole tumble.
Our lips touched, and she added, "It's been too long."
Damn. I nodded. "It has."
I hadn't expected her to kiss me right away. After that conversation we had following our first meeting—about taking a step back and getting to know each other—I'd thought we'd be sort of starting over. But I wasn't complaining. The memory of her kiss didn't do the real thing justice. My lips and the cheek she'd held tingled.
After ordering our food, we talked.
She'd told me she was a journalist a few days ago, but she hadn't had an opportunity to tell me what that was like yet, so she had a lot to say. There was an endless supply of stories about her boss. He was insufferable. Regardless, she loved her job too much to leave.
"I feel lucky for being able to do what I do," she said. "I've always wanted to write, but I didn't want to be a fiction writer. I wanted to write about real life. The research that goes into writing a story is half the fun. I'm fascinated by the world and the creatures that inhabit it; all the wonders and horrors."
"Do you like history too, then?" I asked.
"Of course. Especially myths and legends."
"Why? Wouldn't that be fiction?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Not necessarily. Life is rife with unexplained phenomena. I like to believe anything that hasn't been disproven could be true—might be true. Who's to say a part of our soul doesn't stick around when our body can't hold it any longer? We don't have proof of an afterlife, but there is no evidence that it doesn't exist either."
I found myself leaning closer. "So you believe everything is real until proven otherwise?"
"Well . . ." She gave me a sobering look. "Everything within reason."
"What counts as 'within reason?'"
She took a sip from her glass. "Anything observed by multiple witnesses or with a logical explanation. Extraterrestrial life, for example. It's unlikely that earth is the only inhabited planet in the universe."
I nodded slowly.
There was a nervous flutter in my stomach. I could tell her. I could tell her right now. If she believed in aliens and ghosts, why not werewolves? I even had proof. But was it a risk worth taking?
"Trae?"
"Hm?"
"You don't think I'm crazy, do you?" she asked.
"What? Oh." I laughed. I was thinking of telling her I was a werewolf, and she was worried I'd think she was the crazy one? Go figure. "No, of course not. I . . ."
She put her glass down and looked up at me.
"What if I told you werewolves are real? Would you believe that?"
"Werewolves?"
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I nodded.
"I don't know," she said softly. "Maybe. You'd have to show me."
"A werewolf?"
She huffed a laugh. "No, just . . . a sign that they're real."
"I can show you. I can show you a werewolf."
"You have one running around in the backyard?" she asked, cutting her food with a small smile. I couldn't tell if that smile was a good one or a bad one. I looked for signs that she was uncomfortable, but she wordlessly continued moving her knife across her plate as if I'd said I could show her my dog.
"Well . . . yeah, kind of. Two, actually."
That's when her smile fell. There was no mistaking the expression on her face now. Every visible part of her was tense. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?"
My eyes widened. "No! I'm not making fun of you."
She glared at me.
"I wouldn't lie to you," I assured her.
"Don't say that, Trae," she said, voice low. "Everyone lies."
Fuck. This was a mistake. I should have waited. I should have at least waited until we were home or somewhere outside so I could immediately show her my proof. I clenched my fists below the table and said, "Look, I . . . I can explain, but . . . promise me you won't laugh. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm not crazy."
"I'm not laughing." Her tone made me shiver.
"I . . . Okay. Promise?"
She barely kept herself from rolling her eyes. "Fine. I promise."
I took a deep breath and looked down. I had no other choice but to tell her now. I couldn't back out. If I said, "Just kidding," that would only prove her point. But I wasn't making fun of her! I was doing the exact opposite of that.
Mae, I, too, believe in myths. I am a myth.
"See, the thing is . . ." I swallowed the lump in my throat. There was no other way to say this. "I'm a werewolf."
"You're a werewolf," she repeated flatly.
"Yes."
For a long time, neither of us said anything. I would have, but I didn't know what. The silence was killing me. The urge to get up and run was strong.
"Please say something," I whispered.
"Okay," she said. "I don't think you're crazy . . . but this is very hard to believe when you've given me no reason to believe it. No explanation. No proof."
I grimaced. "I know, but—like I said, I can show you."
"Now?"
"Um . . ."
"Trae, I swear—"
"No, listen," I cut in, panicking at the irritation in her voice. "I can explain everything to you, and I will, but I can't show you. Not here."
She stared at me for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Explain."
"I'm, uh . . ." Sweet Mother, where do I even begin? "I was born a werewolf, and my brother, too, because we—because our dad was a werewolf."
"Was?"
"He . . . passed away."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
I nodded and cleared my throat. There was another lump in it. "Um, being a werewolf . . . It means I can hear and smell better. And, obviously—well, I guess it's not that obvious, but I can shift forms." I leaned back in my chair with a sigh. "Sorry, I know it sounds ridiculous. I mean, I'm literally saying I can turn into a wolf. Fuck, this is so stupid. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea. I don't expect you to believe me. I'm sorry."
"Alright, show me, then. But if it turns out this is all nonsense, we're done."
My chest constricted. Done? "I—okay, that's fair. I'll show you."
"Are you done?"
"What?"
She pointed at my plate, which had at least a dozen fries and a piece of steak left. Just the thought of taking one more bite made my stomach churn.
"Yes," I said. "Let's go."
— · —
I paid for our food without asking and led her to the parking lot. We agreed that she should follow me in her own car so she could leave if she wanted to. Then I got in my car and dropped my head on the steering wheel.
What on earth compelled me to tell her now when I could have waited until she was comfortable enough to come home with me? Now I was inviting her to my house on the first date to watch me turn into a wolf. Like a fucking lunatic. Somehow it was worse than walking up to her with a boner. What am I saying? Somehow? It was way worse.
I watched her car in my rearview mirror the entire ride, which lasted an hour and an eternity, but Mae never turned off the road. She followed me all the way and neatly parked her car beside mine.
When I walked up to the front door with Mae right behind me, Leroy had already opened it. "Trae, why—oh. Hello."
"Hi, Lee," I said. "This is Mae."
He glanced at her. "Uh . . . nice to meet you."
She nodded stiffly.
"Is that Shaun I smell?" I asked.
"Yep," Leroy said. "It's rare that he doesn't show . . ." He trailed off and frowned. "Wait, did you just—did you tell her?"
"Yeah, I did."
Leroy opened his mouth, but before either of us could say anything, Shaun appeared behind him, leaning over his shoulder.
"Who are you?" he asked.
Leroy turned his head toward him and murmured, "Trae's soulmate."
But even though his voice was lowered, it was loud enough for Mae to hear. I saw the exact moment she realized what he said. There was a split second of surprise and confusion before a look of pure outrage took over.
I pushed Leroy and Shaun back inside, babbling, "Thanks, we'll, uh, we'll join you later. Have fun. We're—we'll be out back. Bye."
Not gonna lie, I almost slipped inside myself before I shut the door. How the fuck was I going to explain this to her? I should have called Leroy before coming here. This was so stupid and impulsive. I was no better than Leroy, really.
Except Mae was not Shaun.
"What does he mean?" she demanded. "Why would he call me your soulmate, Trae? We met less than two weeks ago!"
"Mae, it's . . ." I sighed. "It's complicated."
"Then un-complicate it!"
"I will! Just—can you come with me? I brought you here to show you proof, remember? I can't do that in front of my house."
She scoffed. "You do realize how that sounds, right?"
"What?"
"I should just follow you into the woods where no one can see us? You have a weird way of going about it, but I'm not falling for it. I'm leaving."
"Wait, no, Mae . . . please." I ran a hand down my face and sighed. Did she seriously think I wanted to take her into the woods to do something to her? I'd fucked up more than I thought. "I know you wouldn't fall for that. And I think—I hope you know I wouldn't do that. We were getting along fine before this. I don't need to make up some bullshit story. Please, let me explain everything and show you."
She crossed her arms and stared at me for a long time before walking to the back of the house. I breathed out a sigh of relief, then followed her. I sat on the grass by the edge of the woods. She didn't. She stood several feet away from me.
I tried not to let that bother me and got up again. I cleared my throat. "Okay, so . . . I guess I should start with explaining the soulmate thing."
"Yes, that seems wise," she said.
"Don't ask me why or how this happens, because I don't know—no one really knows—but werewolves sometimes get soulmates. We know they're our soulmate because, uh . . . it's instinctual. When I was in that park, I felt drawn to you and then, when I saw you . . . my body reacted."
A look of distaste crossed her face.
"I tried to hide it," I hurried to add. "I had to hide it. There wasn't anything else I could do. I had to talk to you, like, right then and there. I didn't know if I would ever see you again. We only get one chance at this."
"One chance at what?"
"A soulmate. You . . . you're the one for me."
"And do I have a say in this? Do I have to go along with it just because you got hard when you met me? This is ridiculous. What if I don't want to be your soulmate?"
I winced as pain lanced through me. I got that she was mad, but I would have hoped she'd enjoyed my company enough that . . .
Never mind, I got it. It was a lot to ask.
"Mae, I know it's ridiculous, but please remember: I haven't asked you to do anything you didn't want to do, and I'm not going to. I don't want that. I really don't. If you don't want to be with me, that's . . ." I let out a sigh. "If you don't want that, you're free to make that decision. I wanted this to happen organically, but when you were talking about all that stuff you like, I . . . I just thought it would be okay to tell you."
"You still haven't shown me any evidence, Trae. Right now, it seems like you just made up some nonsensical story about me being the one because you're . . . because you're obsessed with me or something! And you're not doing a very good job at convincing me. It just keeps getting more and more bizarre. Werewolf or not, I can't be your soulmate. It doesn't make any sense. You barely know me!"
"You're right," I said, meeting her eyes. They were full of anger. My body was shaking. I'd never fought the urge to run so hard, but I couldn't walk away from this. I'd said it myself: I only had one chance at this. "Yes, I barely know you. And I never asked for this. I had no idea who you were, but when I saw you, I knew I had no choice. My only other option is to live the rest of my life alone. My brother almost made that choice. He almost let his soulmate walk away because he didn't think it was going to work out. He wouldn't have been able to be with anyone else ever again. I'm not gonna let that happen. At least, not because of me."
She was silent, staring at me wide-eyed. Then she said, "Wow . . . so now you're just going to guilt-trip me. You'll be alone for the rest of your life if I reject you? Sucks for you, but that's really not my problem."
"I'm not guilt-tripping you! I just wanted to—fucking hell. I don't even know anymore. I just don't want to lose you, Mae. And I . . . I guess I wanted you to know the truth."
"Show me, then. Show me your proof."
"Okay." I took a deep breath. "Okay, uh . . . your heartbeat."
"What about my heartbeat?"
"I can hear it. It's fast. You're upset."
"You don't need to hear my heartbeat to know that."
"Yeah, I guess I don't. I can also . . ." I shook my head. "Never mind, I'll just show you my wolf form. I can't talk when I'm a wolf, though, so . . ."
"Just do it."
I nodded and started to move toward the trees.
She surprised me by stepping closer and reaching for me, but she dropped her hand before it touched my arm. "Trae, listen. I am upset, and confused and . . . so many other things, but I hope it's true. I want you to show me. Okay?"
I opened my mouth, but then the back door opened.
"Sorry," Leroy said. "I couldn't help but overhear."
"Kind of impossible," I muttered.
"We were gonna go for a run tonight, remember?" he asked.
"Yeah, so?"
"So let's go now."
I didn't know if he was saying this because he didn't want to be alone later tonight or because he didn't want me to be alone now, but I'd take it either way. I nodded.
Shaun appeared behind Leroy again. "Are you finally gonna show me, too?"
He looked at him. "I guess I am."
"Hell yeah."
"Okay, go sit down," he said, pushing him out of the door. "Keep Mae company while we shift. And don't come looking for us, okay? We'll be back when we're ready."
"Why shouldn't we come looking for you?" Mae asked.
Leroy raised a brow. "What do you think this process looks like?"
"Awesome," Shaun said.
He snorted. "No, it's disgusting and terrifying. The sound of breaking bones is not fun to listen to, believe me. It's horror movie material. It would be in everyone's best interest if you just wait here. Trae and I never shift together, either; we stay very far away from each other. Watching him do it once was one time too many."
"Why did you watch him do it?" Shaun asked.
"It was his first time. He—"
"Yeah, that's all they need to know," I cut in. I was not in the mood to let my brother tell everyone I threw up and cried my first time. I was not in the mood for any of this. I just wanted it to be over. "Let's go."
"How long will it take?" Mae asked.
I was already among the trees, walking ahead.
"Ten minutes," Leroy said.
"Okay. Ten minutes."