Richard grabbed his car keys as soon as he put the phone down. He had to get away. If he stayed in the house he was going to go crazy. He opened the front door and breathed in the early morning air. He was thankful for the shot of fresh air that filled his lungs. The pain in his heart was too much that it was suffocating him. He had a difficult time breathing and he took in short labored breaths as he rushed towards his car. It was as if a huge rock landed on his heart and the burden was too heavy to bear. He's never felt this way before and it felt like absolute torture. If only he could rip his heart out and take it out of his body maybe all of the pain that he was feeling would go away.
Richard sat on the driver's seat and banged the steering wheel in frustration. Is this how jealousy felt like? If it is then he doesn't like it at all. It was eating up his entire being and he couldn't think straight. He has never felt jealousy until now. All throughout his life he never had a reason to be jealous of anything. Women came and went and usually it was him who dumped them first when the novelty had already worn off. He has never allowed himself to be close enough to anyone or develop an attachment to them.
Richard struggled with his feelings as he turned on the engine and started driving away. He did not have a specific destination in mind. All he knows is that he has to leave. He kept the windows rolled down and relished on the cool breeze that whipped through his hair. He had the urge to press down on the gas pedal but he knew that it would not be a wise decision given his current state.
Richard wanted to shout out in frustration. What is wrong with him? This was so unlike him. He has always been able to keep his cool. He could not believe that all it took was a single statement from Maine to drive him over the edge.
I met someone... Maine's voice lingered in his head and repeated itself over and over like a broken tape recorder.
He couldn't understand why he was so jealous in the first place. Maine is his friend. Okay, so she's a friend who he couldn't stop kissing but still, she's his friend all the same. They have agreed to get married to fulfill his mother's condition but they also had an understanding that she can leave anytime she wanted to. Maine is not his possession. Then why does he feel so possessive of her? Why does he have the urge to break something just because another man caught her attention?
Richard felt lost and he knew who could help him find his way back. He made a sharp turn and headed towards their favorite lounge.
Jerald was playing a video game while Jake was listening to his Ipod when he entered the lounge. Both guys looked up at him in surprise since they were not expecting him to be there.
"Bro you look like hell!" Jerald commented as soon as he spotted his best friend. He scanned Richard from head to toe and noticed that his friend was not in his usual tiptop shape. His usual impeccable suit was wrinkled while his tie was askew. His hair was windblown. Most of all, the dark circles under his eyes were hard to miss and he looked exhausted as if he hasn't slept for several days.
Richard headed straight to the bar and got himself a drink. His friends looked at him in surprise as he downed a glass of Scotch in one gulp. As he was about to pour himself another glass, Jerald grabbed his arm and stopped him. He could sense that something was wrong and if that was the case their friend needed to stay sober in order to fix whatever it is.
"What's wrong?" Jerald asked in concern. He took the glass gently from Richard and led him towards the sofa where Jake was waiting with a worried look in his eyes.
"Did something happen to Maine?" Jake asked softly. He knew that only Maine can cause his friend to act this way.
Richard closed his eyes and leaned back to rest his head. He mumbled something that both Jerald and Jake did not catch.
"What did you say?" Jerald asked as he leaned a little closer.
"She met someone" Richard whispered again.
Jerald and Jake looked at each other. This does not look good.
"What do you mean?" Jake probed gently. Maybe this was all just a misunderstanding.
"She met someone in New York" Richard repeated as he opened his eyes and looked at Jake.
Jake was overwhelmed by the look of pain that he saw in Richard's eyes.
"How exactly did she tell you?" Jerald asked cautiously.
"Please don't let me say it again" Richard almost begged as he dropped his head back against the couch.
"What are you going to do about it then?" Jake inquired. He is curious on what Richard's course of action would be. Has he finally realized that he was in love with his wife or would he let go of her without a fight?
"I don't know" Richard answered defeatedly.
Jerald suddenly leaned forward with a determined look on his face. "Then let her go" he told his friend bluntly.
Richard's eyes snapped open and he turned sharply towards his friend. He opened and closed his mouth several times but no sound came out. Jerald knew at that instant that letting her go was not an option for RJ.
"What did you say?" Richard asked when he finally found his voice.
"I said let her go" Jerald repeated in a matter of fact manner. He watched in fascination as all the blood disappeared from Richard's face. Richard and Jerald stared at each other for a few minutes until Jerald's face broke into a small smile.
"You can't, can you?" He said triumphantly. Richard dropped his gaze and looked at the floor. That was the answer Jerald was waiting for.
"Tell me, why can't you let her go?" Jerald challenged his best friend.
Richard groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. "I don't know! I don't know!" He exclaimed helplessly. "Maybe I'm a selfish friend"
Jerald closed his eyes in frustration. Apparently his friend was more dense then they thought. He glanced at Jake and said "Do you have a baseball bat I can borrow? I just need to knock some sense into someone."
"I don't have a baseball bat" Jake replied. "But I do have a guitar. Would that suffice?"
"Guys, this is not a joking matter" Richard protested.
Jerald and Jake looked seriously at their friend. "We're not joking bro" Jerald replied.
Just then Kris entered the lounge and looked quizzically at his friends. "Is there something wrong?" He asked as he approached the sofa where his three friends were converged.
"Can you help us out?" Jake asked.
"Sure" Kris replied. "What do you want me to do?" He asked with a confused look on his face.
"Can you tell us how it was for you when you went to the States and had to leave Joyce here for six months?" Jake asked and Kris looked at him in bewilderment. He gave Jake a questioning look but the latter just nodded his head as if urging him to answer.
Kris took a deep breath in order to respond even if he had no idea what this was about. "It was hell." He started to say. Jerald noticed RJ's ears perk up in interest even if he kept his eyes closed. "I had difficulty going to sleep at night and I had no appetite at all. I was not in the mood to do anything and my studies that time suffered a lot. Everything I saw reminded me of her and it felt as if time had dragged on forever. I looked forward to our nightly phone calls because I knew that if I could just hear her voice..."
"Everything would finally be alright" Richard finished for him. "That's right" Kris agreed. "How did you know that?"
Richard looked at Kris with a stunned expression. It was as if his friend just described him. Everything that Kris said was true in his case.
"If only I didn't love her so much, it wouldn't have been that bad" Kris added and his jaw dropped in surprise.
"What did you say?" Richard asked his voice barely a whisper. It was as if the last pieces of the puzzle were finally settling in place.
"I said I wouldn't have felt that bad if I did not love her so much" Kris repeated.
Love? Richard wondered in awe. Is it possible that he is in love with his wife? He's never really been in love before and had no clue how it felt. But Kris has experienced the same things as he did and he is very sure that he is in love with Joyce. Has he been in love with Maine all along but did not realize it because of his stupidity?
He's always had the urge to be near her all the time. He's enjoyed her company immensely and he had to admit that he always feels extreme pleasure by just kissing her. Was it possible that what he thought was lust was not lust all along? The last wheels clicked into place as Richard stared into space. Suddenly, his epiphany came, fast and hard and he almost staggered at the sheer intensity of it.
I love her! He thought to himself and he felt the heavy burden in his heart suddenly lift up from inside him. Suddenly he was soaring with the revelation that struck him so swiftly. All of those sleepless nights and lonely days finally makes sense and he's glad to know that he was not going crazy. He finally has a label for the unfamiliar feeling that haunted him day and night refusing to leave him. Love- he is in love with her.
Still riding high from his epiphany, Richard stood up abruptly causing his friends to gaze at him in surprise. "RJ are you alright?" Jerald asked worriedly.
Richard did not hear what his best friend just said. His mind was too wrapped up thinking about his immediate plans. There's one thing left to do and nobody's going to stop him from doing it.
His feet started taking him towards the exit as his mind drifted away, busy making plans.
"RJ!" Jerald shouted. It was his last attempt to catch his friend's attention.
Richard was almost at the door when he stopped and turned towards his friends. The rest of the guys were surprised to find a calm and serene Richard looking back at them. It was a far cry from the distraught and problematic man who arrived at the lounge a few minutes ago.
"Where are you going bro?" Jerald asked in a worried voice.
Richard gave them a smirk as his eyes lit up in anticipation. "I'm going to New York" he announced in a strong, determined voice and turned around to leave before his friends could even have time to react.