School. I hate school. I hate my teachers, I just hate everyone. I sighed with melancholy as I hastily tied my long honey blonde hair with natural hightlights into a messy bun. It simply had to be a messy bun because there is of course, no such thing as a neat bun here in the world of Wattpad. Once I had made sure my bun was messy enough, I looked in the mirror. I didn't really care much for my appearance, people can judge me, I don't care.
I stood there in front of the mirror, slowly taking in the sight of my waist length hair, which was a beautiful shade of blonde with no irritating baby hairs, my eyebrows- which I have never had shaped or altered in any way - with all the miniscule hairs in place, thick lashes which were super long and so thick that they made me look as if I was wearing eyeliner, blue eyes which sparkled like shimmering pools of light, rosy red cheeks; even, clear and naturally tanned skin- even though I don't go to the beach, full rosy red lips, perfect nose, my chin which was simply magnificent, and finaly my long neck which was smooth.
"Gosh, I am hideous, more ugly than Medusa herself" I gently sighed to myself because humans can now sigh sentences. It is a fact that is known worldwide.
I don't believe in cosmetics. I believe that cosmetics are only for vain people and fake cheerleaders with their orange tan.
Right, it was time to get to work to make myself look presentable for the world. I was thinking I should try to be the prettiest I could be which was roughly... Ugly.
I dug around on my bed to find my cosmetics bag because even though I had only woken up twenty minutes ago, my bed had somehow many to get heaps of items on it. My room is so messy I thought to myself, thinking back to the four hours I had spent cleaning it up right before I went to bed.
I found my cosmetics bag and started the painstakingly long process of making my self look ugly, a step better compared to how I already am.
First, I lathered foundation onto my skin followed my a generous amount of powder. Next I filled in my eyebrows, put on some blusher, mascara, eyeliner, lipgloss, and contoured my nose and chin because to me, they looked repulsive. I looked at the mirror amazed at how ugly I looked. I was overjoyed, I had never looked this pretty before!
Next, I had to choose an outfit.
I checked the weather. Oh great! There's going to be strong storm with Hurricane winds. Unlike some people, I try to dress for the weather.
I didn't want to dress with high heels and skimpy items like the cheerleaders do. I barely had any clothes, I thought to myself as I stepped into my walk-in wardrobe. I had many jeans pairs of jeans but opted for my Levi denim-wash shorts that looked like hotpants on me, out of my various tops, I chose a white Versace tank top that clung to my body, five-inch Christian Louboutin black wedges and my black Harrods leather jacket that also clung to me. For accesories, I chose a silver ear cuff with silver studs and a wrap around silver ring-bracelet both from Tiffany.
Once I was dressed, I looked in the mirror to assess my outfit. It was absolutely horrific. My fashion sense was so bad. I totally looked like a nerd. I could see my 28k boobs bulging out underneath my thin white top. I was so flat chested I mentally sighed to myself. I whipped out my scientific microscope and looked at the microscopic hairs on my legs. My legs were so hairy. I really needed to shave.
I packed my bag and took it downstairs to the front door and went to get my breakfast. Even though it was nine in the morning, my mum was still home and had just set out a plate for me to eat.
"Here you go boo bear!" My mum said with a smile on her face, handing me my plate. I hated her with a passion. She was so mean to me. What did she ever do for me other than do all of my laundry, buy me expensive clothes and everything I want, make me food, let me do whatever and spoil me? NOTHING. All i want is her motherly love! Is that too much to ask for?
"Happy hippo, I've got to go now, love you with all my motherliness!" She said to me, and rushed off to grab her coat. "Bye bunny bun! Love you" She shouted before closing the door behind her. The she-devil is gone! Yay, all she ever does is earn money, but no she can't and will never love me.
She had given me a lovely breakfast, not a pea like some of the cheerleaders had for their breakfasts.How did I know what they had you ask? Well it wasn't that hard to guess. Since they are cheerleaders, they are all the same. Fake, evil, blonde, mean girls. In fact, it wasn't that hard to guess for anyone.
If you are a jock, you're all brawn no brain.
Nerds are all brain.
Neeks are irritating.
Badman people are dodgy and like to sag their trousers down to there ankles.
Normal is the majority of the population.
The elites are a mixture of the fit boys and beautiful girls but this is only zero-point-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-one of the population.
Then there is me the ugly one. I have should be in the guiness world book of records because I'm so ugly.
Once I had finished my breakfast of fifty rashes of bacon, twenty very oily omlettes, fifteen sausages, a piece of lettuce and ten cups of fanta without gaining any wait or feeling full, I put my plate in the because even though my mum had left for work, my plate would still be washed by the little elves that came whilst we were all out.
I ran out the door even though I always arrived at school on time even when I left the house at twelve because school always started two seconds I entered my form room.
I saw my crappy car sitting there in the driveway. It was a red Ferrari 458 Italia. I hopped in and drove the fifteen minute drive to school.
I pulled up into the parking lit and already people were pointing and whispering at me.
I bet they were laughing at my crappy car and fashion sense.
Tears welled up in my eyes. They were all so mean. I slammed my door and ran past all of the mean people.
I ran to my locker and magically produced a locker a key and timetable because all humans can do that.
I pulled out my books because like my key and timetable, they had magically appeared.
A girl came up to me. She was wearing a hula skirt, tube top, sandals and a large lei around her neck.
"Hola" she said whilst playing the flute.
"Me llamo Sarah what is yours?" she asked.
"You non-english speaking monster" I exclaimed! She suddenly took off and ran into the wardrobe which had magically appeared.
Another girl approached me and said. "Gurl! Where you buy yo weave from coz it's so perf like oh em gee hashtag ratcheeeeet hashtag perf." She was really pretty; I hope I look like her one day.
Suddenly I had an idea.
"I'm new here! Oh my gosh yay! We can be like besties!" then we started squealing and jumping up and down.
All of a sudden the hallway went silent. A pathway was in the making and once it was made I died. I knew I died because I saw the fittest boy I had ever seen.
"Who's he?" I whispered to my new best friend that I didn’t know the name of.
"Abskjdkaowkla" was all she said.
"Zxvankqplbskakal" I said back.
I must have died again because it was at that moment that behind the fittest guy I had ever seen, I saw the fittest guy I had ever seen.
"Who owns the Ferrari 458 Italia? " he asked.
All the girls started screaming and ran away as a tiger that had escaped from the zoo chased them.
"Me" was my reply.
"Nice ride"
"I like give like you like many like thanks. OMG Like what like is your like name? Hashtag you're fittest guy I've ever seen." I said
"Thanks. And the name is..."
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Wanna know what happens nextm stay with me people XD and in case you haven't noticed this is not a serious book it is a parody/spoof of bad boy books on Wattpad lol XD
until next update,
~Nae nae xx