Moses McKinley
I sat holding my daughter feeling all sad and shit when something in me clicked. It was like when you forget who the fuck you are and the remember who the fuck you are. My sadness slowly cleared up and I stood up and walked to my mirror still holding my daughter as I looked at myself and flashed a smile that could get panties moist.
"Moses are you done crying?" Camry questioned walking into the bedroom. She had her usual nonchalant attitude but it stopped as soon as she saw me and I smirked at her while she looked at me weirdly.
"Crying over what? Never" I stated confidently as I walked over and handed my wife our daughter. She struggled to hold her as Sienna proceeded to cry and Camry carefully bounced her looking as awkward as ever.
"You were crying over Aaron and Instagram stalking him for the past few days. He's laid up with some other gay boy and you were upset about sex tape between you too" Camry reminded. I rubbed my chin remembering why I hadn't been feeling like myself lately.
"Yeah well fuck all of that, he can move on" I shrugged being dismissive as I removed my shirt from my body and tossed it into the laundry basket before flexing in front of the mirror.
"Are you gonna go fuck some hoes to fully recharge back up? I can see your obsession with yourself is returning" Camry said dryly.
"Nah, none of that. I'm actually cool right now, not feeling stressed because I have no reason to be stressed" I proclaimed before I pulled my shoes on and grabbed another shirt. Camry watched me like she was expecting me to be joking but I was serious, something in me had clicked.
"What about the tape?" She questioned propping Sienna up on her hip as I tucked a gun into my jeans. I was hesitant to address that and I wasn't really surprised she'd found out about it, I figured Rowan was going to tell her sooner or later.
"It's out there. What can I do besides not make myself an easy target? It is what it is" I shrugged as I walked out passed her only to see Rowan standing in the hallway with her arms folded.
"Why are you in my house? You're everywhere I am all of the fucking time" I complained as I walked towards my staircase but she followed me down anyway not taking the hint.
"I'm trying to help you. It's only a matter of time before my father sees that tape or someone he knows sees it and tells him about it" Rowan explained and I shrugged.
"Yeah I guess so. I have something else to worry about right now" I called over my shoulder but she reached out and grabbed my shirt tugging on it.
"Nows the time for you to be getting your shit in order. You need a back up plan, maybe you should go back to New York and make things right with your friend" Rowan said and I looked her over.
"Did you forget I have a baby with your sister? I can't just leave my daughter, what do you get out of this anyway?" I questioned watching as my sister in law smiled to herself.
"Nothing, I'm just trying to be a decent person. I don't want to sleep with you anymore" she stated as she folded her arms. I looked her over not believing shit that she said, there was something different about her though.
"Thank you for the advice, but I already know what I'm going to do and I don't need your help" I responded brushing her hand off of my shirt.
Rowan scrunched her face up angrily as I winked and slid out the front door without giving her another glance.
"By the way, you have company outside!" She shouted but it was too late and I'd already noticed the funny looking nigga that sat leaning against my car. My entire demeanor changed as I watched one of my workers grab Amaru by his shirt while he smiled and puckered his lips teasing.
"What the fuck are you doing at my house? You realize these people want to kill you right?" I questioned slapping my worker on the back and he let go of him and stepped back.
"What's your point?" Amaru questioned bringing the blunt he was holding in one of his hands to his mouth as he puffed on it.
I noticed a few people I worked with looking at me funny and I cleared my throat wondering why he was putting me in a fucked up position now. I had too much shit to deal with without people thinking I was associating with his ass.
"Surely you all have corners to watch over and drugs to sell. No need to hang around my home like children waiting for orders when you know what needs to be done" I said in a stern tone.
The men gave us privacy as I turned my attention back to Amaru who blew smoke out of the corner of his mouth as his gaze remained fixated on me.
"Why are you here?" I questioned lowly as I stepped closer. Amaru offered the blunt he was holding to me and declined knowing he was a druggy and it was probably laced with some shit. Instead of holding onto the blunt he got rid of it like he had weed to spare.
"Maybe we should go for a drive" he suggested as he turned his back to me and headed for his car. I chuckled to myself and looked around before reluctantly following behind him.
As I climbed into his passenger seat I could see Camry watching me from one of the windows upstairs. She was still holding Sienna and appeared confused at my actions but quickly shut the blinds when she saw me watching her.
"If this is about Aaron than I'm cool on that. He's an adult and we're doing our own thing now, I just want him to really forgive me" I said staring at a few mangas that lay on the car floor and a few sprinkles of weed on top like someone was in a rush when they were rolling a blunt.
"This isn't about that. Your history isn't something I really give a fuck about, this is business" Amaru claimed as he backed out of my driveway pulling onto the street crazily before zooming off.
"What business could we have together. You clearly don't give a fuck about staying alive or you wouldn't of showed up here knowing that people are out for you" I shot back.
"You can't be a stickup kid and then turn around and be a scary nigga. Anyway, I was doing some thinking-" Amaru began before he paused and looked at himself in the rearview mirror before he smiled flashing his braces as he checked to see if he had food between his teeth.
"Nigga can you pay attention to the road? I know thinking might be hard for you but come the fuck on" I complained as Amaru looked back at the road and swerved the car to avoid hitting another car.
"My fault. As I was saying, I was doing some thinking after Ron and I went to see Deejay and I realized that you're fucked and the likelihood of you dying before me is actually really high. You practically embarrassed your organization and you'd have to be a fool to think your in law wouldn't snatch his shit back and leave you rotting in an abandoned house" Amaru explained.
I sat in silence staring straight ahead imagining that visual. My original plan was to just take my daughter and disappear when shit hit the fan but I did wonder where he was going with this.
"So how can you help me out and what's in it for you?" I questioned. Amaru chuckled as he focused on the road with one hand on the steering wheel.
"I mean just put me on to the drugs and my crew and I will take care of the rest, let's team up before it's too late. Then when your double life blows up in your face I got you, Angelo will take care of you. Why not help take down your organization before everyone turns against you?" Amaru questioned.
"My father in law just had a meeting about Angelo. Everyone is on to him, if some stickup kids start hitting us up they'll know better and they'll retaliate. James isn't like those lil niggas you're use to stealing from, he'll run up in your shit and kill you and everyone you're with, including Aaron" I said listening to the wind as he drove.
"You don't know shit about me. You think if I was some amateur I'd still be alive? Aaron is good and will forever be good, and anyway, even if we don't do this, you put a target on his back wether you realize it or not. They're going to come for you and him, eventually" Amaru stated.
"I was able to get close enough to shoot you once. You think nobody else will be able to do the same?" I questioned as my gaze shifted down to my lap.
"Nigga you got lucky and I let my guard down because I didn't know what you were about. Think about my offer and sleep on it if you have to" Amaru said like he knew I was going to give in.
"You know if I come back around full time that's the end of you and Aaron's relationship right?" I teased cockily and Amaru side eyed me.
"Really, you think so?" He questioned seeming unbothered as I gave a simple head nod and smiled.
"I don't think nigga, I know. If I wanted that old thing back I could have it back" I responded preceding to get under his skin.
"Nigga that's real cute, but my baby ain't going nowhere. He upgraded, he ain't gon downgrade again. If you stay cool I might let you join us in bed one day" he shot back and we both busted out into laughter.
Pushing all of my jealously to the side I could see why Aaron would be attracted to him. The man wasn't ugly at all, I looked better obviously but he wasn't bad looking and the only thing he had over me was his waves and the hazel eyes he and Aaron both shared.
"Aaron know about this?" I questioned and Amaru's mood shifted as he shook his head and he grew serious.
"He doesn't. Only reason I'm doing this is because Angelo and I had a talk last night and I told him everything. This offer won't be on the table for long, so don't waste time on getting back to me" He said as he continued to drive around my neighborhood.
"I don't need to think on it. My options are looking really slim right now, all I wanted was to make money and live comfortable. I knew fucking with Aaron would catch up to me eventually. I guess I might as well cut a deal now. All you want is the drugs right?" I questioned still not feeling any fear of the outcome.
"Just the drugs. I'm going to sell it for more than it's worth, don't think about it too much" Amaru said looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
"How do I know you aren't really about to fuck me over? Angelo and I talked recently and he was on some other shit" I responded still not trusting the nigga fully.
"You don't know. But can call him if you think I'm lying, it makes no difference to me" Amaru said pulling back up in front of my home and placing his car in park as we eyed each other.
I hesitated before shaking hands with him and he smiled before letting go and resting his hand back on the steering wheel.
"Should we exchange numbers? I wanna meet again with Angelo around, so we can talk and go into details" I said feeling some of my uncertainty go away.
"No need, I already have your number. I'll hit you up soon, until then don't trust anyone, including your right hand" Amaru said as I climbed out of the car. "Oh and you're welcome" he continued in serious tone.
"What do I have to thank you for? You're doing this more for yourself than my benefit and you know it" I stated closing his car door and his serious face left as he smiled brightly.
"True, but you're benefiting from this as well, even if you don't realize it yet" he said with a nod before pulling off. I watched his car before I pulled my keys from out of my pocket almost forgetting about what I was about to do before he showed up.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket when I felt it vibrating. I half expected it to be my father in law but it was my right hand instead.
I eyed Carlos' number watching it ring before it eventually went to voicemail. I slid my phone back into my pocket thinking over Amaru's words.
He'd been doing shady shit lately and it hurt, he was the only person over here that I could depend on and now I had to start cutting ties with this man who I once considered like a brother.
I was beginning to realize the only person I could fully depend on and trust was myself. I didn't have anyone or anything to fall back on like everyone else did.
-
"So you can't hit me back now?" Carlos questioned as he entered into the back room of a nightclub I co owned. The club hadn't even officially opened yet but I still dropped by to handle business in peace, I figured Carlos would show up eventually once he realized I was no longer at my home drowning in self pity.
"Look at this" I said pointing to the flat screen that was mounted on the wall. Carlos slicked his gelled hair back as he walked over to me and watched as I hit play on security footage I'd had sent to me.
"I can explain that. Instead of just jumping to conclusions just hear me out" Carlos said immediately getting defensive when the security footage of him murdering one of Angelo's workers appeared on the screen.
"I gave you every opportunity to come to me and be real about it before I jumped to conclusions. You got me out here looking stupid and defending you when you're in the wrong!" I said through gritted teeth.
Carlos remained silent as he nodded his head and watched as I rubbed my jaw trying to understand why he did the shit.
"You can't be my right hand, I don't need the drama" I said with a shrug. Carlos nodded again before he took a seat in a chair.
"James asked me to do it. He didn't want the alliance between you and Angelo in the first place and since the business is yours and he knew you wouldn't be cool with it he came to me. I did it for the money, it was fucked up and I see that now" Carlos explained finally.
"So you didn't think telling me this shit beforehand would've made sense? James doing sketchy shit is nothing new but come on man, you know I got bigger shit to worry about then babysitting you and making sure you don't do stupid shit because it ends up reflecting bad on me" I complained.
"I know I fucked up. Thats what has been having me so stressed up lately, James is good at using people and then throwing them away when he's done. He had me taking care of shit for him on the low and now all of a sudden he's putting distance between him and I and he's going to get you to do the same" Carlos tried to explain.
"Distance might be good for your stupid ass" I mumbled as I turned my back to him. Carlos smacked his teeth and mumbled a few things under his breath that I didn't care much about figuring out.
"I might as well tell you this now before you hear about it or see the video" I said staring at the painting that hung on the wall in front of me.
"You still on that video shit? It can't be that bad man, just let it come out" Carlos replied brushing it off.
"The video is of me and my ex and it's not a good look. You're gonna look at me differently when I tell you this shit" I sighed turning back to face my friend.
Carlos remained sitting in the chair as he continued to stare at me awaiting what I had to say. I could tell by his expression that he probably assumed it wasn't serious at all.
"Did you get your ex pregnant or what? I'm not tripping over you cheating on Camry, James is going to but I got your back" Carlos said with a nod.
"My ex is a man, the video is of me fucking a dude" I rushed out. Carlos' eyes widened as he tried to stand up from the chair but ended up sitting back down.
"You? Another man?" Carlos questioned in disbelief and all I could do is nod. "You're on that fag shit?" He asked as I clenched my jaw.
"I identify as I bisexual, yes" I responded continuing to eye him. Carlos stood up as he folded his arms.
"That changes everything, that video can't come out. Man James is gonna fucking murder you, he's going to be embarrassed. How long have you been like this? You don't like me like that do you?" Carlos asked looking at me nervously.
"No I don't want you, you aren't even my type. Do we really need to even talk about this shit?" I questioned trying to hide my irritation.
"Hold up. What the fuck is that suppose to mean? I'm not your type? I'm a good looking man" Carlos boasted. I stared at him for awhile before shaking my head not even bothering trying to understand his dumb ass
"I like black men, it's nothing personal. Anyway that shouldn't matter, aren't you straight?" I questioned raising an eyebrow.
"Don't even try and test my sexuality. I don't like men, I just thought-" Carlos began before he paused and shook his head.
"Thought what? That because you know I'm into men that I'd automatically be interested in you and every other man I lay eyes on? Bruh it doesn't work like that" I explained and Carlos avoided making eye contact with me.
"I don't know man, this shit just came out of nowhere. I didn't see it coming and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I never thought I'd befriend someone like this" Carlos tried to explain.
"With all the sneaky shit you've been doing, I don't even know if we are still friends. Somebody has the video of me and my ex and they're sending it around, if it comes out are you going to switch up on me?" I questioned.
Carlos seemed taken aback by my question like the man wasn't homophobic and like I didn't just catch him in a lie.
"Of course not. I got you just like you got me, what you do in your sex life is on you and all I ask is that I don't hear about it or see it and we're cool" Carlos assured.
We went to slap hands and he backed off some and lowered his hand awkwardly causing me to smack my teeth and look in the opposite direction.
"It's nothing personal it's just, you haven't messed around with a man lately have you? Where have your hands been?" Carlos asked.
"You jerk your dick off correct?" I questioned and he hesitated before nodding. "And you also wash your hands and shower when you're finished I assume. It's no different then kissing your girl on the lips and you know she's been with other dudes before. You think she's only sucked your dick?" I questioned.
"Okay I see your point. My bad, it's just gonna take some time" Carlos responded. He and I stood in silence as my gaze returned back to the scene on the screen.
I still didn't trust Carlos enough to tell him about my conversation with Amaru, he seemed genuine but he'd proven that I couldn't fully depend on him for shit.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I slowly pulled it out as Carlos watched me like he assumed it was my father in law. The text however was from Hassan, the man I'd met on Aaron's campus.
Hassan and I had been texting back and forth since the day I'd gotten his number. The more we talked the more I wanted to sleep with him and it was obvious by the late night pictures he sent me the feeling was mutual.
He and Aaron weren't friends so I didn't feel guilty about talking to him or about taking it further then the sexts and texts.
"Who is that? Your ex?" Carlos questioned trying to hide the disapproval in his voice but I picked up on it anyway.
"Nah, just somebody" I shrugged locking my phone and sliding it into my pocket as Carlos shifted awkwardly.
"So what now? You say the tape is out, what are you going to do?" Carlos questioned me as I placed my hands into my pockets.
"Nothing. I just thought you should know before it came out considering you and I are friends" I responded.
"What do you mean you aren't going to do anything? I got a cousin that's real good with computers maybe he can figure it out" Carlos suggested.
"Nah. I'm tired of hiding it, this shit was bound to come out eventually and I feel better about myself" I said focusing back on the screen.
"So if you're not worried about that then I guess you about to tell Angelo what I did?" Carlos questioned.
"You're going to tell him, it'll make you look good in his eyes if you come to him like a man" I try and reason.
"You say this shit now but I'm not doing that. He'll kill me without thinking about it and you know it" Carlos snapped growing defensive.
"You got a week to admit to him what you did or I'll tell him and he'll come for you anyway. Angelo's a reasonable man so he'll hear you out" I assure growing a small smirk on my face.
"If you believe that then why are you smiling?" Carlos called as I turned and walked out continuing to smile already knowing the most that would happen was he'd get beat up and maybe he could use it to knock some sense into him.
As I was leaving out of the club my phone rung and I was shocked to see Hassan's number again. I cleared my throat before answering feeling kinda nervous.
"If I don't ask you then I don't think you'll ever ask me. Do you wanna do something next weekend?" Hassan questioned right away.
"Do something? You mean like do some shit together?" I questioned and he chuckled to himself.
"Yeah, talking on the phone and texting isn't enough for me" Hassan responded causing me to chuckle a little.
"I mean we can do some shit if you want, when are you free?" I questioned exiting out of the club.
"I'm free Saturday, is that good for you?" Hassan questioned as I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at my smashed windshield.
I hung my phone up without responding to him and jogged over to my car seeing that my passenger side window had been smashed as well and my glove compartment had been opened and rummaged through.
Noticing a guard standing outside smoking a cigarette I walked towards him and he turned away not wanting to speak to me.
"Did you see what happened to my car?" I questioned as he blew smoke into my face. I clenched my jaw to control my temper but it was proving hard to do.
"I didn't see nothing and I don't know nothing" the man responded obviously lying. Instead of pushing the issue I nodded and started to walk away.
"Fucking faggot" the guard mumbled under his breath. I stopped walking as I licked my lips and turned back around.
"I would ask you to repeat yourself but I heard you clearly" I said removing my gun and shooting the man in the chest. He stumbled back dropping the cigarette as he gasped and fell to the ground hitting the concrete.
I looked around not seeing anyone before I squatted down watching him hold his wound as blood poured through quickly.
"Now why would you call me a faggot?" I questioned curiously as a few club workers and Carlos rushed outside wondering what was going on.
The guard opened his mouth to speak but blood kept coming out. I leaned down closer hovering my ear over his mouth.
"V-video" he gurgled as I sighed before standing up. I glanced at Carlos who walked over to me with his arms folded behind his back.
"Take him out of his misery, he's suffering" I ordered my right hand. He pulled his gun out before he fired two shots into the mans skull without asking any questions.
The look of humor on Carlos' face showed he enjoyed it but I didn't dwell on it. Instead I looked over at my car that'd just gotten a fresh wash and mourned the broken windows.
"So it starts now" I mumbled eyeing the damage with a small smirk on my face.
Amaru Jones
"Man, can I talk to you about something serious. I promise to be serious and make no type of jokes, but you have to listen to me and give me advice. It's not about the drugs, at least I don't think it's about he drugs" I said quietly as I folded my hands into my lap.
My drug counselor, Eric leaned back in his chair as he squeezed a stress ball and eyed me suspiciously. It was almost like he didn't trust me enough to consider the fact that I really wasn't fucking around.
"Amaru I swear on everything, if this is leading up to another question about your genitals then I'm done and I'll send you to a friend of mine that might have time to play with you because I don't" Eric said shaking his head.
"Is it possible for a teenaged boy to be preyed upon? Like say he was fifteen and he became sexually active with an adult and at the time it was fun but now that he's thinking about it, it makes him feel funny. This is all hypothetical" I said staring straight at the wall in front of me.
"Well hypothetically speaking how old is this adult? Because in most places that'd be very much illegal considering the fact that fifteen isn't even the age of consent and said person would still be considered a child by law" Eric responded as he leaned forward and eyed me.
"I'm not fucking a child. My boyfriend is grown, I said this is hypothetical- just forget it, forget this conversation" I mumbled standing up.
"How old was the man?" Eric questioned as I placed my hand to the back of my neck feeling my heart pound in my chest as I regretted even bringing the conversation up.
"He was 26 and I was 15. I'm only bringing it up because I've been starting to think about it and my current boyfriend pointed out how wrong it was. At the time I didn't think it was wrong because I was trying to feed my drug habit and I'd never had sex before. But the more I think about it the more I was trying to forget it even happened, I feel stupid for being proud of it at one point in time but I was ignorant" I stated.
"So this man, was feeding your drug problem and taking advantage of you sexually while you were under the influence. Did you ever tell your parents about this? Did you go to the police?" Eric questioned.
"I couldn't tell my parents back then and what the fuck do I look like snitching to the police? It's been years anyway so there's no evidence, just my word against his and he knows a lot of shit about me. The only reason why I'm telling you this is because I was wondering if maybe shit like that can fuck with my head enough to make me continue my addiction. When I'm high nothing hurts and I feel good, I like to feel good" I explain.
"That's not uncommon, some people take drugs because they can't fight their inner demons. I wish you would've told me about this man beforehand" He said shaking his head.
"I don't understand a lot of this shit. I don't wanna do drugs anymore but I need them and every time I feel I can try and get better something happens and I go right back to going through a bottle of Xanax a week. Probably killing my body from the inside slowly" I shrugged.
Eric looked at the time before cursing under his breath as the door to his office opened up. A sweaty white man wearing a white thirty that had armpit stains entered, the dark bags under his eyes were very noticeable as he stood in the doorway sniffling.
"Come back tomorrow and I can give you a list of people you can talk to" Eric suggested as I stood up.
"Nah I'm good, just forget what I said. See you in a few weeks" I called over my shoulder as I left out of his office ignoring him calling my name.
It was like I'd been high for so long that being sober was unbearable. I didn't know how to cope and after awhile I began to realize what I was actually trying not to remember.
As I left out of the building I reached into my hoodie pocket pulling out a bottle of Xanax that was half empty and dumped two in my mouth as I walked to my car.
My steps slowed down some as I noticed the familiar man leaning against my car. I screwed the lid to the pill bottle back on before sliding it into my pocket as I stopped in front of my car.
Alex stood up straight before glancing behind me at the building and smiled when he saw me reach behind my back placing my hand on the handle of the gun I had on me.
"None of that. I just wanted to talk to you about something, I didn't have time to catch up with you when I saw you the other day" Alex explained.
I didn't trust him very much, he was the man I'd just got done telling my counselor about and the person who'd put me on to robbing drug dealers. Being a stickup kid wasn't his man source of income though, he was a street hit man out in California and when I'd gotten involved with him my life had never been the same.
"I was just talking about you, what did you need?" I questioned moving my hand from the gun slowly.
"Talking about me? What were you talking about?" Alex questioned firmly as he folded his hands together and waited.
I looked him over remaining silent and his demeanor changed a bit when he realized I wasn't afraid of him or about to back down. He'd forgotten that I knew the real him, he may have caught a few bodies but in reality he was just a bottom with mommy and daddy issues.
"You know people want you dead right? Every few months I get an offer on taking you out with the price slowly rising each time. Yet here you are walking around like you can't be touched" he teased as he eyed my lips.
"You didn't come to warn me and you didn't come to kill me, so what do you want?" I questioned ignoring everything else he'd said.
"You and I made a good team, we got shit done and looked out for each other. I was a bit surprised to wake up one morning with most of my money stolen and you not next to me. Then I find out you came here and resumed doing business with your own crew, like I'm not shit" Alex said getting in his feelings.
"You aren't" I responded growing a small smile. He grabbed my shirt only to let me go when he noticed we were in a busy area.
"I'm willing to overlook the money you stole if you consider teaming back up with me. I have a list of jobs to do and I need someone I trust with my life, are you in?" Alex questioned smoothing out my shirt he'd wrinkled a bit.
"I gotta go. Don't pop up again unless you accept that offer to try end my life" I responded pushing his hands off of me. Alex furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at me in shock almost like he wasn't expecting me to turn him down.
He reached into his pocket and held up a small baggie of cocaine. I eyes the bag for awhile watching as he offered it to me.
"Why are you trying to change yourself? You were good before, I looked out for you" Alex reminded but I didn't remember it like that.
"You didn't give a fuck if I lived or died. I can't live like that anymore, I don't want to be a fucking loser" I said coldly.
"Why are you acting like this? I put you on and you'd be nothing without me!" He snapped in anger as I pulled my car door opened and climbed inside shutting it behind me.
I looked at the rearview mirror and watched Alex nod his head before kicking my car as he turned and shuffled away obviously upset.
I started my car up and unleashed a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in. Reaching down into the cup holder I grabbed a water bottle that was half empty and practically chugged the rest of the bottle only leaving a tiny swig left.
I waited for Alex to leave the parking lot before I pulled off heading in the opposite direction. I contemplated on going home but I just wasn't in a good mood and didn't want to do anything that would make my progress go back even more.
Like usual I ended up at Aaron's place but didn't bother getting out of the car after I parked in his parking garage. I rested my head against my steering wheel after cutting the car off and just sat there for awhile ignoring my phone that had begun to ring.
My parents were only in town for this last day and I still hadn't met up with them to talk like I'd promised a few days prior. They probably thought they'd done something wrong but they hadn't, I was fortunate enough for them to finally be at a point where they were willing to want a relationship with me after accepting my sexuality but something in me was still too nervous to speak to them.
When my phone rung for the third time in a row I fetched it out of my pocket and looked at the contact seeing Aaron's name.
"Yeah?" I questioned placing my phone to my ear.
"We haven't talked all day and I've been thinking about you. Where are you?" He questioned.
"In your parking garage. I'm about to come up, is that cool?" I questioned imagining the surprised expression on his face.
"Yeah it's cool. Come up" He said as we both hung up. I sighed pulling myself together before climbing out of my car and hitting the alarm on the way to the elevator.
On the way up I wondered if Alex would really take the bounty on my head or leave me the fuck alone. I couldn't see him coming after me after everything we'd been through but I did give him the option and he was often as unpredictable as I was.
Aaron was waiting in the hallway when the elevator doors opened and when he saw me step out he smiled and I returned it opening my arms expecting a hug. He walked into me and gave me a tight hug before I kissed his lips sloppily.
"Saint has company over. Let's go upstairs" he said letting go of me. I nodded and followed him into his place shutting the door behind me.
"He ever fix things with Erin or is that over?" I questioned hearing loud shouting from the living room sounding like men. The surround system boomed and a shooting game could be heard throughout the penthouse.
"As far as I know she refused to talk to him so I assume it's over. He doesn't seem bothered about it though, he's actually smiling more than usual" Aaron said as I followed him upstairs.
"I went to another meeting with my counselor today. It drained me more than I thought it would" I mumbled pulling my hoodie off as we got into his bedroom. Aaron shut the door behind me and locked it before he went over to his dresser where a lit blunt was sitting which showed he'd been smoking.
"Tell me about it" Aaron said taking a puff of the blunt before offering it to me. I accepted and took a hit from it before blowing the smoke out through my nose.
"Nothing really to tell, he says he thinks I'm making progress. He's still trying to get me to go to a group meeting with other drug addicts" I mumbled taking another puff of the blunt before passing it back to Aaron.
"You should go. It'd be good for you, I don't understand why you're so reluctant to go anyway, there's nothing to be ashamed of. They wanna get better just like you wanna get better" Aaron stated taking another hit.
"That's not the point!" I snapped without meaning to and he raised an eyebrow. "If I go and I see those recovering addicts it'll be like a mirror image of myself and I'm already ashamed of the fact that I'm only twenty two and have fucking needle marks in my arms and became everything I said I'd never be. I don't wanna face that reality" I explained.
Aaron stopped smoking and went over to the ashtray putting the blunt out and nodded his head understanding where I was coming from.
"That's understandable but at the end of the day, you are all going there for a goal. There's nothing to be ashamed of, you're working to improve yourself and I'll be here for you, always" Aaron assured taking a seat next to me on his bed.
He slowly leaned over pressing his lips to my cheek before he pulled back and looked at me. I focused on the art that hung on his wall while trying to find a way to be mad at what he said but I couldn't.
"Nigga just force me to go. Give me an ultimatum or else I'm gonna talk my way out of this shit" I said finally turning to look into his hazel eyes and he smacked his teeth.
"Go or it's over" Aaron stated in a serious tone. I smirked before nodding as the room engulfed it's self in silence except for the sound coming from the video game downstairs.
Aaron continued to watch me before he leaned down kissing my shoulder. I took the hint as I kicked my shoes off before dropping my pants soon after.
Aaron was already shirtless and the only items of clothing he wore was the joggers that sagged showing the grey briefs he had under them.
Once my pants were around my ankles I stepped out of them as Aaron stood up and helped me pulled my shirt and my tank top off.
I dropped back down on his bed as Aaron pulled his joggers off and straddled me while I laid back. He kissed my neck while running his finger tips down my chest as my arms wrapped around him pulling him closer.
"We haven't had sex since we made it official, you think it'll be any different?" I questioned looking into his eyes.
"I hope not, you're the best I've ever had" Aaron said in between kisses as he went lower. I rested my head back on his pillows as my arms loosened from around him allowing him to go lower.
I pushed my briefs down already feeling my erection as my dick throbbed. Aaron ran his tongue up and down my dick never actually sticking it into his mouth but it was enough for me to feel like I was sinking into the bed.
He tried stroking my dick but I pushed his hands away and placed my hand to the back of his neck as he placed his mouth on the tip of my dick and teased me.
"Quit playing, just suck it" I moaned sitting up on my elbows as I watched him. I half expected him to listen but he continued to tease me before he smiled and sat up.
I watched Aaron pull his briefs down before reaching over me to grab the lube out of his nightstand while I slapped his ass.
"Hold up" Aaron said tossing the lube at me as he climbed out of bed. I watched him walk over to his fish tank and toss a towel over it so the fish wouldn't see.
I remained silent coating my dick with lube as I silently judged him. Aaron dimmed the lights before he walked back over to the bed and tossed a few pillows on the ground. He preceded to kiss my lips sloppily as I reached over jerking his dick for him.
"Get on your side" I said breaking the kiss as his hand pressed into my chest. Aaron looked me over before he did as told allowing me to shift as I got behind him moving his leg up some and pushing into him.
Aaron shut his eyes as a moan came out and he instinctively grabbed his dick while I placed kisses on the back of his neck.
"Let me know if it hurts" I stated stroking deeper into him as he groaned and buried his face in his bed. I paused watching him adjust some more as I reached around him and stimulated his nipple.
"Keep going, I like that shit" he moaned moving my arm down so that it was wrapped around him as he sunk further back into me.
I shut my eyes listening to his low moans knowing that getting Aaron to be anything but silent during sex wasn't easy. But when he did moan it was sexy and would probably make a nigga bust before even penetrating.
"Like that?" I questioned pumping into him faster as his breath got caught in his throat.
"Yeah nigga like that" he mumbled as I gently nibbled on his neck.
-
"If you were busy then just say that, don't play these games with us. You're an adult now Amaru and instead of wasting our time coming to see you which proved to be pointless your father and I could've been getting extra hours in at work. Please call me back so we know you're okay" my mother's angry voice said.
I deleted the voicemail before locking my phone back and sitting it down on the bed as I slowly stood up being careful not to wake Aaron.
We'd showered together and after changing his sheets he'd slept like a baby. I watched his chest rise and fall before pulling my clothes on trying to make as little noise as possible.
After getting dressed I grabbed my phone and slid out the bedroom door and shut it behind me without waking him.
"About time you went home. I was beginning to think you lived here" Saint commented as he came out of their hall bathroom.
Remaining silent I walked passed him and headed for the stairs, only for him to follow me down. He seemed persistent and I turned around before he could grab my shoulder to stop me from leaving.
"What? I gotta go and handle something" I stated and Saint glanced towards the stairs before he took a deep breath.
"I understand why you won't let Aaron rob with you anymore, but I'm not Aaron. I want to make money" Saint said.
"So get a job bruh" I responded with a chuckle and said gave me a look of annoyance as he took a seat on the steps.
"I want fast money, I don't care about the other shit" Saint stated as I looked him over in annoyance.
"I'm not doing that little petty shit I was doing with you and Aaron. This isn't something you should take lightly, people want me dead. You got a lot of opportunities and you're in college, just be patient and when you graduate and get a good job it'll all be worth it" I responded.
Saint sighed and I could tell he wasn't trying to hear me out at the moment. He was going to put me in a fucked up position because Aaron was going to find out eventually and then it'd be my fault.
I was already hiding the fact that Angelo had asked me to go and talk to Moses which I didn't want to do but I damn sure wasn't about to do this.
"Swear you won't be out here trying to do shit yourself and you'll stay in school" I said extending my hand to Saint who hesitated before slapping hands with me.
"Yeah I promise" he responded before I let his hand go and glanced back at the staircase again.
"Let him know I had some business to tend to and so I stepped out. I'm turning my phone off for a little while" I said before placing the back of my hand to my mouth to muffle my yawn.
"Yeah I got you" Saint mumbled as he walked me out so he could lock the door. I tossed my hoodie over my head before pausing in the doorway.
"Don't think of this as a bad thing. You have a future and I know what it's like to go down a bad path and then regret it. Only reason I'm still doing this shit is because I'm already in deep" I explained and Saint nodded.
After leaving Aaron's place I drove over to his cousins brownstone. Angelo had texted me a little earlier asking to see me in person since he didn't fuck with talking about too much business over the phone.
As I pulled onto Angelo's street two black trucks sat on both sides of the road. I slowed my car down some and eyed one of the cars as the window rolled down and the man on the passenger side gestured for me to roll mine down as well so I obliged.
"He's good, that's the man Lo was talking about" the man beside him stated. I nodded before driving up the rest of the street before parallel parking in front of his home.
As I got out of the car I removed my gun on me and placed it into my glove compartment feeling uneasy without having it on me. Angelo was weird though, the man could smile in your face one minute and then be setting you up to die the next.
He was cool with me for the most part because I knew Aaron but letting my guard down fully was hard to do, especially when I was never fully aware of what I was walking into.
I rung Angelo's doorbell before taking a step back as I looked up at the camera above his door. When I heard the locks turn I looked back at the door and was greeted by Angelo who was holding his daughter on his hip.
"Come in" he said lower the little girl to the ground. I stepped into his home and shut the door behind me hearing Luther Vandross playing from down his hall.
"Did I come at a bad time?" I questioned and he shook his head as he locked his door and motioned for me to follow him while his daughter went running off.
"You did what I asked right?" Angelo questioned as we walked into his office where the music was playing and he cut it off.
"I did. Moses seemed like he was going for it but he probably doesn't trust me, you should've sent someone else. Why do I have to talk to that nigga?" I questioned.
"Because you work for me and if he comes to work for me I don't want the drama" Angelo stated causing me to grow confused.
"I don't work for anybody. We had a deal that as long as I don't rob you, you'll turn a blind eye to whatever I do out here. I don't like being told what to do, it's nothing personal" I stated.
"Then why are you here? You went to handle what I asked you to do with no problem, why do you think nobody has attempted to run up into your spot yet?" Angelo questioned.
I went to speak but nothing came out as I leaned against his wall and watched as he walked around his office.
"I didn't ask you to do all of that. You did it because you wanted to do that shit" I reminded.
"I did it because I'm a good person. You act like working for me is a bad thing, like I'll have you killed if you say no or something" he chuckled before he saw my facial expression.
"I know you will. You seem nice and all but I don't trust you, I don't know you like that" I admit as Angelo stopped laughing.
"You don't know me like that" he repeated with a nod as someone rung his doorbell. Angelo looked at the TV to see who it was and rubbed his chin.
"It's Johan baby, can you get the door?" Angelo questioned his wife as she walked passed. He waited in silence until he heard the door open before he smiled.
"What did you want me to stop by for?" I questioned and Angelo paused as he folded his arms like he had to think about this shit.
"Why did I call you?" He questioned repeating himself again and I sighed and took a seat as a tall man entered into his office.
I didn't know if Angelo was playing slow or if the man was actually slow, if the latter was the case then he'd be a big disappointment.
"I need to vent about that short fuck. He fired me!" Johan snapped not acknowledging that Angelo and I were in the middle of something.
"Hold up a second Jo I'm trying to think" Angelo said as he placed his hand under his chin still not sure why he called me.
"It had something to do with a trap house, you said so in your text to me" I explained in a dull tone.
"Good looking out. So a few days ago one of my traps got robbed and then the same one got robbed again today. I need you to get my drugs back for me, I would send other people to do it but they'll kill and I don't need that right now" Angelo explained.
"So you want me to rob the people who robbed you?" I questioned and he gave a simple nod. "Yeah whatever I'll do it, I want half of the drugs though" I continued and Angelo looked me over.
"You must be out your mind. If you get my drugs back you can have a piece of candy from my desk but I'm not giving you shit" Angelo said gesturing towards the candy jar.
"Don't try and play me. I want half or I'm not doing this shit" I responded in a dry tone and Angelo nodded.
"Half of my drugs?" Angelo repeated and I knew then and there the man was really just fucking with me.
"Lo just give the batty bwoy half so we can talk. Kaine really fired me" Johan complained and I clenched my jaw.
"I told you to stop calling me that. One of these days-" I began before I noticed Johan had pulled out a blade from his pocket.
"You'll what?" He questioned as excitement filled his eyes. I looked back at Angelo wanting him to control his friend but his stupid ass was staring off into space like he was in deep thought.
"You can take half, just get my shit back alright?" Angelo questioned and I nodded as my eyes landed on a vile of cocaine that was sitting on his desk like he forgot to baggage it up.
I licked my lips before looking away trying to pull myself together but I felt like I was craving the shit. Angelo caught on and eventually grabbed the vile and placed it into a bag.
"That's all I wanted to talk to you about. You can go" he said and I turned and walked out feeling like I was about to relapse.
The more I tried to rise above, the more I self doubted and remembered that I'd done this shit to myself and I was to blame.
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Authors Note -
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