It's been a week now since the big pregnancy scare and you have pretty much been imprisoned to bed rest the whole time. Not necessarily courtesy of the hospital, no, it it's Bucky who is so insistent.
It's frustrating, especially now that you're starting to feel better. He won't even let you get up and make a cup of coffee. You feel useless. But he is just so worried and you know that he is only doing it because he loves you.
Trying to stay positive is definitely hard. There is this big what if looming over your heads that you can't shake. Even though you weren't expecting two, now that you know that there was going to be two it's hard to imagine there not being two. However, your just happy and lucky enough to still have one baby on the way.
You and Bucky have made a pact with each other to not blame yourselves and if it starts to really get to you you will talk to each other about it. You've already told the kids because you know that not telling them will just blow up in your faces later on and to be honest they didn't really understand anyway. Isla was just happy that there's still a baby coming and Luke just said that as long as it's a boy he won't be upset.
In other not so good news, your morning sickness seems to be back. The doctors said that it's nothing to worry about, it's just your hormones rebalancing again because of the loss of a baby, but that doesn't stop it from being annoying. Getting up to vomit every so many hours isn't a fun time.
This morning when you wake Bucky is by your side, although you know that he's already been out for an early morning training session, you heard him leave. As much as he wants to be with you twenty four seven, you insisted that he doesn't worry about you and gets on with things because it distracts him, otherwise the guilt that you know he's hiding will just eat away at him.
Since the mission his nightmares have come back again, he has them every night again but they don't seem so bad, or they're different at least; not so much about himself but it sounds more like he's loosing you or something.
As you start to come to you can feel him playing with your hair, you sigh sleepily and flutter your eyelids open to see him propped up on his pillows smiling down at you adoringly.
"Hey," you mumble contently.
"Morning beautiful," he whispers.
You wrap your arms around his waist and pull yourself up against his side, well as close as you can get with that blimmen bump; as much as you love what's inside it it really is a pain.
"How was your training?" You ask, your voice gravely with sleep as you rest your head on his chest, his body heat radiating onto you.
"Good, I went for a run."
"How far?"
"10 miles," he says like it's no big deal.
"In twenty minutes?!" You exclaim and sit up, looking at him like he's crazy.
"Not my best I know. I wasn't really feeling up to scratch today." He shrugs.
"You're unbelievable you know that?" You huff and shake your head, lying back down.
"How are you feeling?" He asks once he stops chuckling.
"Pretty good, I didn't throw up last night so I'm not too tired and I don't feel nauseous. And I actually feel like there's some energy in the tank!" You say jokingly. "So can I get up today?" You ask before he has a chance to respond.
"Are you sure you feel up to it? I don't want you to go too hard too fast or anything." He frowns.
"Buck please." You groan but cut yourself short when you feel butterflies in your stomach, letting out a gasp instead of continuing.
You quickly move to lie on your back and place your hands on the spot where you felt it.
"What? What's wrong?" Bucky ask frantically, turning to you worried.
"The babies kicking! That's the first time I've felt it since the miscarriage," you explain happily.
For a second his face flashes relief, but it quickly turns into excitement as he edges closer.
"Look! Feel it?" You gush as you take his hand and press it where you can feel it.
You watch as his face lights up in awe, his jaw dropping and his eyes twinkling with love. He looks just like a little kid who got everything he wanted for Christmas.
"This is the first time I've gotten to feel it." He murmurs, the corners of his lips turning up as his eyes fixate on what he can't see.
"I'm so relieved. Now we know for sure that someone is still alive." You sigh.
He nods at you, a goofy grin on his face, still kind of in a trance as he feels the baby kick and move just below his hand.
"Hey little one!" You coo playfully. "It's so good to hear from you. I was beginning to get a little worried."
Bucky looks up at you, his smile only growing bigger as he laughs breathlessly.
"We love you so much, you know that?" he chimes in in a husky, loving tone.
"And we can't wait for you to get here," you add.
"Yeah," Bucky agrees. "Oh and one more thing, mummy's really sick at the moment so if you could just stop causing that, it would be much appreciated." He adds cheekily.
"Oh yes please." You nod with a laugh.
All of a sudden they do one giant kick as if in protest of that last request, causing you and Bucky to burst out laughing.
"Buck please," you beg lightly once you've settled down and caught your breath. "If that isn't a good enough sign to say that both me, and the baby are ready to get up, then I don't know what is."
"I suppose so." He says in mock disapproval. "But just take it easy okay?"
"I will, don't worry. Unlike you I'm not in some kind of intense fitness regime." You tease.
~~~~
"(Y/N)!" Peggy exclaims, bursting through the door to your house without even knocking and giving you the fright of your life.
"Jesus Peggy you gave me a heart attack!" You gasp as you practically jump out of your seat.
"Sorry." She sighs as she plonks down next to you. "But I've come to pick you up."
"Why?" You frown.
"Because you and I are going shopping." She beams.
"We are?" You quirk an eyebrow.
"Yep, Bucky said that you're feeling better and I've been dying to get your opinion on a whole tonne of different baby clothes and stuff so I figured nows the perfect time," she states.
"Sounds fun." You smile.
"You look better," she remarks.
"Well considering last time you saw me I was asleep in a hospital bed, I would like to hope so." You laugh.
"It's so good to see that you're better." She sighs as she leans in and squeezes you in a hug. "Steve and I have been so worried about you."
"Thank you it means a lot," you say. "Seriously, you guys didn't need to do what you did."
"You would've done the same, and I'm so sorry for your loss," she mumbles sadly.
"Thank you," you whimper, your voice cracking.
"Now, enough of that. Let's get Isla in her pram and go." Peggy sighs, pulling away and wiping her eyes.
"Yes, good idea." You agree.
~~~~
You spend the rest of the day out and about, going for lunch, shopping for baby stuff - mostly for Peggy since you already have a lot from Luke and Isla - and taking Isla to play in the park. It's so good to be out in the fresh air, but after a few hours of walking around you do start to get tired so Peggy walks you home.
The look on Bucky's face when the two of you walk through the door with arms full of bags of baby clothes and things is priceless.
"How much did you spend?" He asks frantically, running a hand through his hair stressfully.
Both of you just look at each other and giggle.
"Does Steve know you've got all this?" He asks Peggy.
"No, and guess what, there's more stuff that needs to be picked up like the cot." She grins cheekily.
"Don't worry Buck, it's mostly all Peggy's," you explain warmly.
Even though you guys have plenty of money now that he and Steve do what they do, you guys doesn't like to waste it, this was just a one off thing.
"Oh thank god." He huffs and collapses down on the couch in relief.