❝ I'VE WANTED YOU SINCE
THE DAY I MET YOU ❞
–
It was late when she finally returned to her old Alexandrian home. Although she didn't have a watch on her, the skies above with their lustrous stars informed her that it was nearing midnight. Through blurred vision and heavy eyes, she trailed up the steps to her home and swung open the torn screen door, hobbling into the living room. Kicking off her shoes, she wiped at her eyes and groaned inwardly, remembering the promise she made to Negan.
Carl wasn't anywhere to be seen, but when she made her way up the stairs and saw his door shut with the lights off, she figured he was already sound asleep. She entered her room, changed quickly into her pyjamas and formed a stiff posture in front of the grimy, full length mirror. It was no more than dull grey joggers and a black tank top, a sheer sweater hung loosely over her shoulders due to the chilly nighttime weather.
She then made her way downstairs after a quick stop to the bathroom to splash some ice cold water on her cheeks. She was practically falling asleep on her way out the door due to the long day she'd had, but figured a few more hours wouldn't hurt. Navigating her way through the unlit, windy foliage littered streets, she kept her eyes peeled for anybody standing outside on their porches. She was stealthy in the way she walked, each step barely audible until she reached the man's temporary home and stepped onto the crunchy leaves. With a quick glance back and forth, she hurried up the steps and stopped abruptly, seeing two men sitting outside the entrance. It was the faces of Simon and another unfamiliar man.
"Vada," Simon greeted with his infamous toothy smile. "Go on in, the man's been waiting."
The other guy let out a muffled chuckle, and Vada was sure to shoot him a quick glare before shaking her head and pushing open the door, cheeks blazing with redness. Of course he would have people guarding his overnight home, yet she hadn't taken that into consideration. And of all people, it had to be Simon. When the door was shut, she let out an embarrassed breath and closed her eyes, regaining herself.
Upon entering, she was met with the smell of a familiar food, although she couldn't quite place her finger on what it was. Kicking her shoes off, she trailed the corner to the kitchen and noticed a lonesome plate of mashed potatoes looking ready to eat. Furrowing her brow, she glanced over at the stove to see a pot of potatoes growing cold with the burner turned off. Tentatively, she grabbed the plate and scooped a spoonful into her mouth, figuring since they were cold and there was only one plate, it was meant for her. Not hating how it tasted, she continued on eating it and brought the dish with her to the stairs.
She walked up quietly, not wanting to wake him if he happened to still be up. She'd taken a quick peek at the clock and it was just past midnight; she felt horrible for leaving him waiting, but when she was with Vincent time flew right by. They talked about everything, filterless, just gazing at the stars and it wasn't anything she wanted to leave. She needed a friend like that in the apocalypse.
Approaching what she assumed was Negan's door to see it open a crack, a sliver of light peeking through, she gently pushed it open and squinted her eyes at the one bedside lamp switched on. Negan sat comfortably with his head propped on the back of the board, glasses adorning his face and his legs crossed over one another, book in his hands. He'd barely noticed the extra light that spilled through the room, eyes continuing to dart from word to word, almost mouthing the sentences as he went along.
"Animal farm?" She expected him to jolt but he did no more than look up in surprise. She wondered if it were possible to scare him. She couldn't help but smile widely when she realized he was reading the book she'd given him, suggested to him. And he was actually heeding her advice. "Wise choice."
Negan paused for a moment, his tongue trailing over his lips. He held the book up. "You're right. It's pretty damn short."
She leaned against the doorframe, in the middle of the threshold with her head leaned in the crevice of her arm. "You look like you're almost finished." A soft breath of laughter escaped her lips as she peered at the novel. "You like it that much?"
Negan squinted and jerked his head back. "Well you gave me a long fucking time to get started."
Vada frowned and brought her hand to her face, wiping down sluggishly. "I'm sorry about that... I just got caught up, didn't even realize how much time went by."
"Vincent, huh?" Negan closed the book and placed it by the bedside, then slipped his glasses off and folded them up. Vada frowned, liking the way they looked. "The prick was supposed to be keeping watch, not fuckin' stargazing."
Vada sealed her lips, unsure of what to say, or if she should defend him at all. Instead, she chose to give optimistic news while scratching nervously at her neck. "We made up."
"I can see that," he replied quickly, folding his hands on his lap. He tilted his head slightly to the side in a disdainful way and Vada couldn't help but let a smile overcome her lips. She dropped her head to the floor and snickered under her breath. "What's so fuckin' funny?" He asked, his brow creased with vexation.
"You're jealous." She waved a finger at him.
He cocked his brows. "Oh, am I?"
"Yep." She stepped further into the room and shut the door behind her, leaving the the bedside lamp the only source of light in the room. Leaning against the back of the door, she crossed one foot over the other and bit her lip.
"Little too sure of yourself there, sweetheart." He hitched his chin up and placed the back of his head to the wall.
"It's cause I know I'm right," she teased. Negan shook his head and curved his lips up, smirking devilishly. When there was a short pause, she took the moment to change the topic. "You should have gone to sleep. You were tired earlier, and it's midnight. Shouldn't have waited for me."
"Well I was just too fuckin' excited." He grinned, bobbing his head. "Couldn't sleep."
Vada rolled her eyes and twisted her jaw to the side. "Maybe you should sleep now, then. Since I'm here."
"Why the hell would I do that?" He asked, running a tongue over his bottom lip. He paused for a moment, then held his arms out. "Well are you gonna fuckin' join me, or what?"
Vada laughed and held up her plate of food. "Don't wanna get food on the bed."
"Not a good excuse, darling. Have you forgotten that nobody fuckin' lives here? C'mon." He ushered her over with his words and she snickered, hustling over to the bedside and placing her food on the surface while she crawled between the sheets. Negan was quick to wrap his arm over her shoulder and hang the other loosely over his stomach. Vada licked her lip and took the mashed potatoes back, shoving a spoonful into her mouth.
"This is amazing," she mused through a mouthful of food. "You made this, right? I didn't know mashed potatoes could be so good."
"I told you," he grumbled under his breath in a whispery tone, lips curving, 'I'm a man of my goddamn word. Told you I'm a goddamn good cook."
"Yeah, well, I couldn't really imagine you being a cook." She shovelled another spoonful into her mouth. "No offense."
Negan raised his brows and gazed down at her, under his arm. "None taken."
She smiled and contently ate the potatoes until there was nothing left on her plate. With a full stomach, she placed the dish on the table and leaned her head more into Negan's arm, closing her eyes and emitting a weary smile. Negan spoke with a lazy, rasped voice. "You ain't fallin' asleep on me now, sweetheart."
Vada grumbled and propped an elbow on the side of the bed. "Alright."
"So," Negan started, his head swinging with tiredness. "What'd you and Vincent talk about?"
Vada groaned and rolled her eyes, falling back on the headboard. "Really? Back to that?"
"I just wanna make sure he's staying in his own fuckin' lane," he defended, holding his hands up. Vada raised her brow and scooched back, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Oh yeah? And what's his lane?" She asked, tilting her head, eyes challenging him to say it. Although she already knew he would.
"Your friend, and only your fucking friend." He stroked at his growing beard and Vada rolled her eyes, once again. She popped her lips, quickly glanced at the window, then met Negan's gaze.
"When did you get this conception that you have that control over me?" She asked, suddenly growing annoyed but also tired. She didn't believe that he could have multiple wives, but she couldn't have one friend without him getting jealous - especially when they weren't even together.
Negan jerked his head back and creased his brow, running a slow tongue across his lip. "The first day I took you back to the fuckin' sanctuary."
"I hate it when you do that." Vada scoffed, swinging her head to the side. Negan scrunched his features.
"What's that?"
"Act like nothing's changed since then. We've evolved a lot, Negan." She crossed her arm and pouted her lower lip. Negan lowered his gaze to her mouth, then back up to her eyes, letting out a sigh and running a hand down his face. When Negan didn't open his mouth to respond, she continued. "Tell you what. I'll make sure Vincent stays in his lane the day you drop your wives."
Negan paused, letting his bothersome stricken face curve into amusement. "So you're fucking admitting it?"
"Admitting what?"
"You're jealous of them, huh?" He said through a full smile. "Well if they bothered you that fuckin' much, why didn't you just tell me honey?" He held out his arms, but when she didn't move, he pulled her into his chest. She rolled her eyes against him, then Negan leaned down near her ear and grumbled. "Sure, I'll fuckin' kick 'em to the curb if that means I can have you, sweetheart. Hell, I wanted you since the day I met you. But you've got to tell that prick you're mine."
Vada was at a loss for words when she parted her lips, just gazing at his clad chest. She placed a gentle hand to the middle of his torso and smiled. "Deal."
She could feel Negan's chest hitch up and down with a soft, rumbling laughter. She swirled her thumb in arbitrary patterns over his chest as he raised his hands to the top of her head, stroking down with a soft touch. "And one more fucking thing..."
Vada sighed against his chest. "What?"
"I still want to hear you say it."
"What? That I like you?" She asked with a soft laughter.
"Fuck yes. I've been waiting for months now, sweetheart." He showcased his top row of teeth, and gazing at his lips, she rolled her eyes to the back of her head.
"Fine." She touched his beard and took a coarse wisp between her fingers. "I like you, a lot."
Negan bit his lip and jerked his head back. "I know."
Seeming like she'd been doing it all night, she lifted her eyes to the ceiling and scoffed under her breath. "So egotistical. Jesus..."
"But you fuckin' like it." He grinned, seeming to be content with himself. She shook her head and placed it back to his warm chest.
"I guess I do," she mumbled. "Now that we've gotten that out of the way, can we sleep?"
"Nope, not just yet."
Vada scrunched her face and moaned. "Why?"
"Well, Vada. I was sitting here in fuckin' silence while you were out there getting friendly with Vincent," she groaned at the mention of his name, "and it occurred to me-I know shit about you. I know that you're father's a prick and your brothers a little psycho, but shit, that's about all. Other than your strange obsession with reading and Chris Issak, of course."
"If you keep staying stuff like that about them, I'll take it back, Negan. I swear." She said sternly, raising her chin from his chest. He pulled her closer so that she was under his arm and they were upright against the headboard.
"C'mon, baby. Tell me everything."
Vada scratched her chin. "I don't know."
"Favourite color?"
"Violet. Yours?"
"Red."
"Of course," she almost laughed at the irony. "Alright... ask me something else."
"Childhood crush?" He spoke smoothly, running his fingers gently through her hair.
"Jay gatsby."
Negan creased his brow and gave her a look of disbelief. "You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. Seriously?"
"And Atticus Finch."
"Jesus. You were a fuckin' nerd, werent you?" He asked, his lips curving into a smirk. Vada frowned, pretending to be offended although she knew it was true.
"I happen to be attracted to intelligence." She bit her lip to keep from laughing. Negan shook his head and stroked at his beard.
"Makes sense." He responded.
"Alright," she said, ignoring his comment, "now I get to ask you something." Negan gave a quick nod of the head for her to continue. She slipped in front of him and out of his arms so they were face to face, tilting her head while she wondered what to ask.
"Your wives... did they offer to be your wives?" She asked, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She suddenly grew nervous, hoping his response wouldn't be what she thought she knew it was. The first day her and Vincent met, he'd told her about him and what he did with his wives, how they functioned. And she believed everything, but now she wasn't quite so sure.
"I'd never force a damn girl to be my wife." He responded, poking the inside of his mouth with his tongue. "What, you thought I took my pick of the fucking litter whenever I pleased?"
"No, but... I thought, maybe they had to. To stay alive." She spoke, fiddling with her fingers by Negan's feet. Negan glanced down at her hands then met her eye.
"What're you getting at, sweetheart?"
"Someone told me that Sherry had to be your wife to stay alive. That's true, right?" She asked, raising a brow. Negan shuffled in his position on the bed and emitted a weary sigh.
"Tell Vincent to mind his own fucking business."
"I didn't say it was Vincent." She frowned
"You don't talk to anyone else." He responded with thin lips.
Vada hesitated, she was sure her face had turned a pale color. "So it's true?"
"You wanna hear the goddamn story?" He asked. She gave a slight nod, willing him to continue. "Sherry had a sister named Tina. The girl had diabetes but couldn't get enough damn points to buy her insulin, so like the gentleman I am, I offered her a spot as one of my wives," he grinned, but when he saw that Vada wasn't smiling and instead looking worried, he contorted his features into something more serious. "Then the three fuckers made the wise decision to run off with our medicine, on foot, barely any fucking supplies to get them along. Tina got bit, and as you can probably guess we caught the other two and brought 'em back. Was gonna kill them both before Sherry offered to be my wife. We settled on that deal."
Vada rested her chin in her palm and stared at his torso, thinking over his words. It was what Vincent had told her, just a lot more detailed. Although she wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Parting her lips, she wanted to say something, but nothing came out. She wasn't even sure how to feel.
"But, it's their lives, Negan. I mean, of course they'll offer themselves." She shook her head and played with the comforter, flicking her fingers along the edge of the bed.
"Never fucking force them to have sex with me if that's what you're thinking." He licked his lips and narrowed his eyes, seeming as if he was trying to get into her mind. She stared at him blankly, tilting her head.
"So it all comes back to the image thing then." She broke into a small smile.
"You cracked the fucking code, sweetheart." He held out his hands and jerked his fingers. "Come here."
She moved into his arms and curled her head into his neck. "Now that we're already in a serious mood I want to ask a few more questions."
"Don't wanna go to sleep?" He asked, glancing at the clock. Vada placed a hand on his chest and shook her head.
"Nope. You chose this." He brushed a loose strand of hair from her eye and gazed down as she spoke. "So, I want to know, and I want a real answer this time. Why did you take me?"
Negan hesitated before answered. "Fine, real answer. Leverage. It was between you and the little serial killer, and you're a hell of a lot nicer to look at."
Vada paused before laughing softly against his chest. Somehow, she expected an answer like that. "Alright." She paused, suddenly growing quiet. She knew what she wanted to ask next, but she didn't know if she could hear the answer.
"Next." Negan moved his hand from her hair to her shoulder.
Smile faltering, her lips formed a straight line and tentatively, she spoke. "That night, what would you have done if it had landed on me?"
Negan raised his brows and tilted his head back. "Jesus. Heavy shit Vada. Fuck, I don't know. I wouldn't of killed you, that's for sure. Rick woulda never cooperated if I'd of killed one of his kids right of the bat. No fucking pun intended." He winked and Vada shot him a glare. He held his hands up in defence. "Hey, you asked."
"Whatever."
"Hey," he grasped her chin and tilted it up slightly. "How many times do I have to remind you? Everything that happened was for a reason. Not out of spite for your people because I didn't like the way they fucking looked or something. They killed a station of my men. A whole goddamn station."
"I know. I'm sorry.'
Negan raised his brows, not expecting those words to come from her mouth. "You're sorry?"
"Of course. Jeez, I didn't want anyone to die. I hate when people die. I mean, the world goes to shit and everybody's killing each other. It just doesn't make sense. And those people, well, they must have had kids, some of them, and wives and husbands. I just... I hate it." She nodded her head slowly and and sighed. "And I'm sorry about what I said, about how they meant nothing to you, the day you brought me to the sanctuary. That doesn't matter, even if you'd never talked to any of them. I'm sure they didn't deserve to die."
Negan lifted his hand back to her hair, then gently stroked down to her chin and poked it up. "I'm sorry about your friends. I know they meant a lot to you." Vada was taken aback by his words, she'd never heard him sound so gentle before. He brought her head up for a quick kiss, their lips moving together smoothly. He pulled back for a short moment and grumbled, "except for that prick Spencer."
Vada almost let out a laugh before pushing against his chest. "You asshole."
"He seemed like a real douchebag," he shook his head, clicking his tongue over his teeth. "Why'd you ever have a thing with that guy?"
"Who said we had a thing?" She asked, jerking her brows up. She wondered how Negan could see through her so easily.
"Come on, darling. Don't try and fucking deny it. That prick looked at you like a piece of fucking meat."
Vada shivered and crossed her hands over her chest to grasp both forearms. When looking back, the only reason she could think of was that she didn't think she was ever going to meet somebody. And Spencer was young, quite attractive. It was a shame he turned out to be such a horrible person.
"I was lonely." She shrugged her shoulders and frowned.
"Lonely, huh?" He smirked and pulled her back into his chest.
"Yeah, didn't think I was ever gonna meet someone."
"Lucky fucking you." He grinned, bringing his lips down to the tip of her ear. She laughed and jerked back.
"Yeah, I wanted a man and I got one that if given the opportunity, my friends and family would kill without a second thought. Yet against all odds, here I am."
"Any regrets?" He asked with a low voice.
She paused for a moment, although she knew the answer. She just didn't know if it was something she was willing to admit. Before she could give another thought, she let the words slip her lips.
"No. Never."