CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: PASS THE PARCEL
Spencer Willow
The next morning, we spend the first few hours dropping Charlie's stuff off at her new house, before we drive Connor to the airport. We're all silent, no one wants to talk.
When we reach the airport, we sit in the car for a few minutes, silently. Eventually, Connor breaks the silence.
"So, this is it," Connor says, and I place a smile on my face.
"For now, you'll be home soon in a few months," I reply, my hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.
"Of course," Connor smiles, before we all get out the car. Connor gets his bag out the back of the car, before we all walk into the airport. Charlie and I walk in as far as we can, before we have to say our goodbyes. I give Charlie and Connor some time to say their goodbyes, knowing that they won't particularly want me there. I buy a drink, before I return to where Charlie is crying, and Connor is trying to stop her from crying, even though he's close to crying himself.
"I'll be back soon," Connor whispers, kissing her forehead. Charlie nods, smiling softly, wiping her eyes. Connor walks over to me and immediately hugs me, and I let the tears roll down my cheeks.
"You're going to be fine," Connor whispers, and I roll my eyes, smiling slightly.
"I'm not worried about me," I reply, and Connor chuckles.
"I've got to go," Connor says, stepping back and picking up his bag.
"Goodbye," Connor says, before he has to turn around and walk away. I put my arm around Charlie, letting her cry into my side.
"It's okay," I whisper to Charlie, who just smiles softly.
"I know," Charlie whispers back, before we leave the airport. We walk back to my car, and I start to drive Charlie back to her new house.
"Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?" I ask, quietly.
"Yes, I'm sure," Charlie replies, and I nod, pulling up outside the house.
"Okay, I'll see you soon," I smile, before Charlie gets out the car and walks inside. I exhale slowly, before driving back to the hotel. It feels like only yesterday he came back, and now he's gone, again. I bite my lip, not wanting to cry again.
I park my car at the hotel and head upstairs to Connor's room, and I'm surprised when I see Zach leaning against the door, waiting.
"Zach?" I ask, and Zach looks up and walks over, immediately hugging me.
"Are you okay?" Zach asks, and I fall into his arms.
"Y-yeah," I reply, and Zach smiles softly, resting his chin on my head. A few seconds later, I step back, laughing at myself for crying.
"Sorry, um, come in," I mumble, leading him into the hotel room. Zach closes the door behind him and sits down on the bed next to me, putting his arm over my shoulders.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Zach asks me, but I shake my head.
"Can we just watch something?" I ask, and Zach nods, turning on the TV and finding a film. I cheer up a bit near the end of the film, as that's when my brain kicks in telling me that I'll see him again soon and he'll be fine, so I seem happier once the film finishes.
"Do you want me to order something to eat?" I ask, and Zach shrugs, as I stand up.
"I don't mind," Zach replies, and I nod, ordering some pizza.
"Why won't you talk to me?" Zach asks, and I turn around, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I ask, as Zach stands up and walks towards me.
"You were speaking to me one day, and we were fine, then you ignored me for weeks. Why? It's like I'm just there when you need me to be, and when I'm not needed, you just ignore me," Zach asks, and I sigh, biting my lip. It's happening again, I'm pushing him away. I know that I'm doing it, but I can't stop. It's like being in danger inside a small room and you keep persistently crashing through each wall, trying to save the person inside, but there is always another wall. It's like playing pass the parcel, but the layers of wrapping paper never end, and when you finally get to the centre you're left with a mess of wrapping paper all over the floor.
"I didn't mean to ignore you-" I start to say, and Zach rolls his eyes, and I realise that he's irritated about it. I'm lying, I know that I'm lying, but apparently it's all I know how to do. As my mother says, you're always better off with a really good lie, and lying is second nature to my family.
"Cut the bullshit, you meant to ignore me, I don't know why though," Zach replies, and I lean back against the counter, not wanting to argue. Zach looks frustrated. His teeth are tightly clenched together, as his jaw is tight, while his muscles are all taught, as if he's holding himself back.
"It's been difficult," I reply, and Zach groans, running his fingers through his hair. This is a lie again, it hasn't been difficult. Yes, my brother moving away was difficult, but that isn't why I've been ignoring him. That's not why. Maybe I thought it would be easier. Leaving, I mean. Maybe if I pushed away all the reasons I had to stay, then leaving would soon become a good thing. A fresh start, where I could do exactly what my mum wants me to do. I would get on better with my mum, we would get along.
"Why? I don't know what's going on, why?" Zach asks, and I frown, wondering how long he's felt like this for. It must be irritating for him. He's done nothing but be nice to me, he's made me trust him, he's done nothing to hurt me, yet I'm still pushing him away, as if I don't trust him.
"I'm leaving, Zach. That's why I moved here with Connor, to stop my mum from making me leave, but now he's off getting himself killed. And do you know what the only thing keeping me here is?" I ask, my eyes watering slightly, feeling the first wall break down. From here on, it's like dominoes. Soon, all that will be left is the destruction the walls leave behind. Because it isn't just the bloody musical, it's how Zach and I started talking, how we started getting along, and somehow became friends. And now I like him more than that, and I'm annoyed with myself for liking someone like Zach, who is known for playing girls along and screwing them over.
I like Zach, more than a friend. It's strange, everything I have felt for Zach isn't what I ever felt with James. Everything about Zach I love. I love how he can always make me smile. I love how he runs his fingers through his hair when he gets frustrated, I love how his eyes shine when he speaks about something he loves. I wonder if his eyes will ever shine when he thinks of me. Probably not, I'm just his friend.
"What is it?" Zach asks, his voice softer, as if he knows the answer, he just doesn't want to admit it to himself. And this is the destruction left behind. Because of all my walls, I've pushed him away. Too much, by the looks of it.
"You, Zach, it's you. You're the only reason I want to stay. So it's your fault, it's your fault that everything is wrong and that I'm stood here crying and you're staring at me in shock. It's your fault. You made friends with me because of this stupid musical and the moment this musical finishes, we'll have no reason to be friends. It'll be exactly like it was before. Except it won't be, because I'll be heartbroken. And trust me, this heartbreak will be worse than any heartbreak I've ever felt before. And you'll be fine. You'll forget about me like all the other girls you've messed around. All the girls you've led to believe that maybe, just maybe, you like them like they love you. You'll forget about me in seconds, and you'll be living your happily ever after and I'll be trapped in time, utterly useless," I reply, my tone of voice sounding more angry than upset at this point, as if I'm angry at him for how he has treated girls in the past, as if I'm angry at him because I like him. I look up at him, only to see that he also looks angry. Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, I'm not sure.
"I've changed, I've changed because of you. You've made me a better person, a good change. And the worst part is, you'll never see it. Because your view on me hasn't changed, has it? You still see me as this asshole who goes around thinking that maybe he'll find the girl he needs by sleeping with literally all of them, thinking that one of them at least must be it! And I'll prove it, I'll prove to you that I have changed," Zach says, sounding pissed off, before stepping towards me and pressing his lips against mine. I step back in surprise, and Zach rests his forehead against mine, removing his lips from mine momentarily, his lips hovering over mine. He's breathless. I'm in shock.
He looks at me, and I look down at his lips, before he presses his lips against mine again. This time, I move my lips with his and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Zach places his hands on my waist and pushes me back against the wall. All my thoughts leave my head, as my hand runs through his hair, his body crushed against mine. I feel my walls crashing down instantly, and I breathlessly kiss him back.
Our kiss is broken by a knock on the door, and Zach moves back slightly, his eyes still looking down at my lips. I watch as he slowly lifts his eyes to meet mine, and I smirk slightly.
"Who's speechless now?" I smirk, before walking past him to answer the door. I take the pizza and pay the guy, before closing the door and placing the pizza on the bed. Zach is sat on the bed, now on his phone.
"That wasn't how I wanted it to be," Zach comments, and I look up, raising an eyebrow. Does this mean that he has thought about it?
"What?" I ask, confused. I decide to be naïve, knowing that asking too many questions won't help.
"I didn't want our first kiss to be in a hotel while I was angry, I wanted it to be in a nice place when we were both happy. I'm sorry," Zach apologises, and I just roll my eyes at how cute he is being. He actually wanted to plan it out?
"Since when were you a romantic? I didn't think you'd care where or when you kissed somebody," I reply, and Zach just smiles slightly, looking at me.
"Well I cared because it was you that I was kissing," Zach shrugs, and I bite my lip, looking down at my hands.
"Why does that make a difference?" I ask, and Zach chuckles, rolling his eyes.
"Because I actually like you," Zach replies, and just stay silent, not knowing what to say. Zach smirks, leaning forward and pressing his lips lightly against my cheek. I can feel my cheeks heat up slightly, and he smirks.
"Now who's speechless?" Zach smirks, and I roll my eyes, pushing him back. We then start to eat the pizza, even though it is starting to get cold. We don't really talk much, we end up in a comfortable silence. This comfortable silence lasts until I fall asleep, halfway through whatever show was on the TV.
~*~
I feel like I rushed them kissing, I'm really sorry! Don't forget to vote and comment, thank you for reading x