・・・ xxii ・・・
In the end, the celebration never happened.
It had arrived so suddenly.
There had been no warning.
The next day, when he woke up,
he knew something was wrong.
His head was aching.
His throat felt too dry.
The room seemed too be spinning around.
He knew this feeling.
No. No.
He tried to sit up.
When he did, all the strength in his body was simply gone.
No... No.
He knew what was happening.
He was sick again.
Despite the pain from moving, he covered his eyes.
His fingers were shaking.
He remembered Leo's happy expression.
Rie's expectant smile.
Her warm, gentle laugh.
He grit his teeth tightly.
Why is it... that I always ruin everything?
・・・ xxii ・・・
"—I don't know. It came so suddenly. Is he going to be okay? Don't... Don't we need to take him to the hospital?"
From the crack between his door,
Leo's faint voice was filled with worry.
He seemed to be talking on the phone.
"Rie, please. I... I need your help," his voice broke, filling with pain.
"Please. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do."
A short pause. Someone was talking on the other line.
"—I—I already did," Leo replied. "39.3 celsius. He's burning. I... Okay... Okay... I'm okay. No, don't worry about me. I'm sorry. I just can't..."
Ao blinked slowly, unable to hear anymore.
It was as if he was on the edge of awake and asleep.
The entire world was too painful to look at.
He closed his eyes.
... I'm sorry.
・・・ xxii ・・・
"How unfortunate."
...
"In truth, you were actually hoping for this, weren't you?"
...
"Deep down, despite how much you tell yourself that you don't want this, this is what you actually wanted, right?"
...
"This is not happiness, though. You don't deserve such a thing."
...
"Don't forget what happened. Don't forget what you did."
...
"Nothing you do will ever be enough."
...
"It's all your fault."
・・・ xxii ・・・
He didn't know when he fell into sleep.
All he knew was that when he opened his eyes, the sky outside the window seemed brighter.
Still, his whole body felt weak and sluggish.
There was a sharp pain in his head.
He blinked.
Someone was sitting next to him.
Leo.
"You're awake," he said when he noticed Ao look at him. "You're awake. Thank gods."
Ao blinked again. Slowly.
"... I'm sorry... for getting sick," he managed to whisper weakly to him.
Leo shook his head.
Ao might have imagined it from the pain,
but he thought he saw tears well up in his eyes.
"Stupid... Don't say that. Please don't say that. It's not your fault you're sick," Leo said.
His voice was strained. Hoarse.
Ao looked at him.
Leo suddenly seemed so different.
His complexion seemed paler.
His hands were slightly trembling.
There was a look of worry in his eyes.
He seemed weak. Unsteady.
After so long, Ao had finally realized something.
This was not the same Leo that he knew from before.