Yoongi and I walked on the beach the next day.
I wasn't sure whether he remembered what had happened last night, but I certainly wasn't up to asking him just yet.
All I had gotten was a shy good morning, which was way too suspicious. I was sure that he remembered at least partially what he had done.
We had told Hoseok what happened and he somehow ended up apologizing for being drunk at that time, but he was really glad Yoongi and I were both fine and said he'd come to see me again before I left for Seoul again.
Yoongi was walking next to me with his hands in the pockets of his winter jacket. Half of his face was hidden underneath a thick scarf.
He seemed tired. So was I. Our nights were going to be sleepless ones for the next months.
"Do you think Jimin is alive?", I asked him as I kicked a pebble away.
"Probably not", Yoongi spoke in a sad tone. "Even if he didn't land on the rocks, the current is really strong. It's a problem even for the best swimmers."
I felt a slight pain in my chest remembering Jimin's last words. He had apologized to me for dragging me into all of it, but jumped anyways. He had genuinely loved Minah.
"You know, Jimin's family is one of the richest around here", Yoongi explained.
"Jimin had everything he could have ever wanted, which was why he was unhappy."
I could understand that. Getting everything you wanted made life so much easier, but also boring.
I wondered how Yoongi knew this if he and Jimin hadn't been so close. Or maybe they had been before meeting Minah?
"I guess Minah was the only real thing in his life that he couldn't get, but that thing disappeared and he was broken again", Yoongi mumbled.
I smiled weakly.
"You understand him well."
"I do, for some reason", he said. "He just never seemed to want to understand me. He was too blinded by Minah."
There were still so many mysteries to Yoongi and his life I didn't know about. Hopefully, I would find out about him in time. We stayed silent for a bit. I was planning on asking him further, but he did it for me.
"My mother died when I was 7."
I was shocked to hear that. Hoseok had told me he didn't know about his mother and that he had never spoken about it.
"She and my dad were fighting all the time. At one point, she was just gone and didn't even say goodbye", he said. "Then we got the news that she was found dead."
I sighed. That must have been terrible to deal with as a child. I guessed that that was the trigger for his depression back then.
"Thanks for telling me", I smiled.
"And your parents?"
"My parents are divorced", I told him, even though it seemed funny compared to his story.
"My mom lives a block away but works so much, that I usually only see her for Christmas."
Yoongi scoffed, seeing it as a good time to change the topic.
"So when are you leaving?", Yoongi asked.
I could sense a trace of sadness in his tone.
"In about four days. Our stay ended up being almost two weeks longer than planned thanks to my glorious accidents", I joked.
Yoongi smiled.
"Will you be happy to go back?"
I raised an eyebrow.
"Are you kidding me? No, I'm no happy."
He noticed my sudden change of mood and smiled weakly.
"Why not?"
I frowned.
"You know why."
"You're going to miss me, aren't you?", he grinned.
Without thinking much, I pushed him slightly. "Don't be so arrogant. If I had known you were like this, I wouldn't have become so friendly with you in the first place."
He just flashed his gummy smile and broke the news to me.
"I'll come back with you to Seoul."
I raised my head.
"What?!"
He laughed at my reaction.
"Well, I have to start my music career somewhere. What better place than at the top?"
I wanted to hug him so badly, but it would have been awkward. He very well knew I was in love with him and probably remembered me saying so yesterday. Plus, his actions had lead me to think that he had the same feelings towards me as well. But I could never be too sure with Yoongi. Maybe he had just been too drunk after all.
The two times we had kissed had both been exeptional situations, once was when I almost died, and the second one was when he was drunk.
We hadn't really talk about it, but I was curious to know how these events had even happened.
"That's amazing", I smiled, truly happy for him.
He nodded in satisfaction, raising his head to breath the fresh air. His hair was getting blown around by the cold wind, occasionally uncovering his forehead.
"Wow you actually have eyebrows", I joked, admiring his face which was usually covered in dark, long bangs.
He smirked and shoved his hand in my face to make me stop looking.
We walked along the coast some more, until it started snowing heavily.
Since it was too strong for us to walk back, we waited under the roof of an empty bar area which was probably used in summer.
We were constantly talking about different things, but never dared to even mention what had happened between us the day before. I really wanted to have everything sorted out with him. Somehow, I got a little confident in that moment and thought it was a good chance, even though I was scared of his response.
"Yoongi?"
"Hm?", he mumbled as he dazed at the snowy beach.
"I know it's late, but thank you for saving me."
He turned around and faced me, looking more serious again. I knew he didn't want to talk about the event much, but I had to talk it out.
"Don't thank me for bringing you into that situation."
"You didn't bring me into that situation, Jimin did."
Yoongi rolled his eyes, tired of discussing this. His stubborn mode was on again.
"Yes Jimin did, because of me. Because he knew I was easy to get if he used you to threaten me."
We were getting closer to the wished topic.
"Why?"
He seemed a little annoyed.
"I said it already at the cliffs and yesterday."
I didn't get what he was going for, but the fact he mentioned yesterday, confirmed that he did remember.
"I know what you said, but I don't understand why."
He looked confused again. I guessed he wasn't that experienced in these kinds of things.
"You know, when you said you did care about me..."
I was a little embarrassed saying it out loud. He had told that to Jimin on the cliffs, that was a thing I clearly remembered.
He looked a little uncomfortable too, but I just needed to clear this up.
"It's just that, you kissed me twice and I don't know what it meant", I explained.
"I remember what you said yesterday, but I still don't get it."
His jaw clenched, while his mouth opened for a moment. That was probably the moment he recalled what had happened.
"Do you really need that much of an explanation?", he mumbled.
I nodded.
"As I said, I had this weird feeling around you ever since we first met. I don't know...I acted in ways I hadn't before and started worrying a lot more than I should have. Then I realized it was because of you."
His voice was getting more silent as he spoke.
"Somehow, you always seemed to listen to me and understood what I felt. I guess that's what made me curious about you."
It was true. From the first moment on, I felt some sort of interest as to why he was such a misterious and cold person too. Maybe that was why I always wanted to get to know him better.
"When I heard you sneak out that night, when you went to Jimin's house, I got so pissed. I couldn't help but go after you", he explained.
I secretly felt happy about the idea of him being jealous, but how come I hadn't noticed that he had followed me all the way there?
"That night, I felt so bad for yelling at you, so I promised myself that I would try and be nicer from then on, but when you got poisoned and were in the hospital for three days straight, I could barely sleep."
I chuckled a little, remembering that he had visited several times a day.
"And finally, when we were standing there at the cliffs that night..."
He moved closer, raising his hand softly onto my cheek.
"I realized that I didn't want to lose you."
My heart fluttered at his touch and his soft words. I gave him a smile, replaying everything he had just said in my mind.
"Then why were you so rude to me in the beginning if you felt that way?"
His lips creased.
"I didn't want you to develop feelings for me. But, I coudln't keep ignoring you anymore, seeing that it only hurt you."
I scoffed at the memory of the times I felt hurt and sad because of him. He had really been harsh sometimes.
"And now?"
He rolled his eyes again.
"How many times do I have to say it? My god...."
Yoongi brushed a strand of hair from my face and looked at me carefully.
"I don't really think I deserve you Y/N, but I do want you", he admitted.
I felt a little annoyed over the fact that he was always so unsure of himself.
But he had actually just said "I want you".
"Don't say that. I fell in love with you because you are who you are - even if you are a cold and rude ass sometimes", I clarified.
He smiled, but seemed intrigued by the fact that I used the word "love".
However, he didn't just respond back.
My cheeks flushed red as he came closer.
"The two times I kissed you...", he said silently.
My heart made a jump at him mentioning it.
"Yes?"
"Can you forget it happened?"
I was caught aback by the sudden request, but he didn't let me pull away from him.
"What? Why?"
His black eyes were smiling at me like glistening orbs of light. They scanned my face, stopping at my lips.
"I want to redo that first kiss", he simply said, before pulling me onto his own lips.
My heart made a jump as he hugged me closer by my waist, letting our lips melt together.
I was relieved that he meant it that way, and kissed him back while placing my arms around his neck.
The kiss was much more different than the two before. This one was more relaxed and gentle. His lips did magic while I nearly forgot to breathe.
He pulled away, causing me to already miss his soft, pink lips.
"I want you to remember this kiss as our first one, okay?"
I just nodded. He was suddenly so soft, it made me want to kiss him again. But I didn't want to overdo it just yet. I could imagine that he needed time to realize what his feelings really meant, as this was all new to him.
"It stopped snowing", he noticed.
He stretched out his hand to feel the last few snowflakes fall on his palm.
In a way, I felt sad that we were about to go back.
"Come on", he sweetly said, and brushed his arm across my back to pull me with him.
I walked with him, not really paying attention to my surroundings anymore. The only thing I could see was the beautiful side of Yoongi's smiling face.
From the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I had seen a familiar figure walking along the shore behind us, but when I turned, it vanished.
It must have been paranoia, as I was still under shock because of the latest events with Jimin. I sadly looked away and took Yoongi's hand.
Jimin was gone, after all...
~
We spent the rest of the day in Yoongi's room.
He showed me a piano piece he had just started composing by himself, called "First Love". It was a calm melody, similar to the ones he had been playing at night.
The songtext talked about how the piano was the first love he had found. Some iconic lines were there, describing how even in the hardest of times, the piano was always his way to find himself again.
I could see him passing any audition in Seoul with the talent he had.
"That's enough of that", he said after getting up from the piano stool abruptly.
"What are you doing?", I asked while he backed me up until I was forced to stop at the edge of the bed.
He took my hand in his and kissed it softly, making his way up to my collarbone and then my neck.
"Picking up where we left off yesterday", he smirked and pushed me to lay on his bed.
I gasped at the sudden change of personality, but was forced to smile seeing his face hover above me. His expression wasn't like the one the day before while drunk.
He was himself now.
"Well you're acting different than usual", I joked.
"It's because I won't hold back anymore", he said before kissing me again.
"You made me realize something."
"What?"
"There is no reason to hide from what you feel."
He let me cuddle myself next to him and placed his arm onto my back.
"I kept sitting here every night, playing out my frustration on the piano instead of expressing what I felt. Now there is no need for that anymore."
He planted another kiss on my lips again as if he couldn't get enough.
"I realized that I've been in love with you too, since the beginning."
My breath hitched for a moment when he hugged me tightly and inhaled close to my neck.
"Thank you for making me a happier person again."
That had been my goal before I had even known him - to make him happy again.
Only back then, it had been a request from both our fathers. Now, it was something normal. I was so happy to have come along with my father and met Yoongi.
But it felt as if I wasn't the only one who had changed him, but that he also changed me. When I was with him, I felt safe for some reason. It always felt honest, even if he was really complicated and stubborn sometimes.
"I love you too", I replied.
It had taken me so long to make him admit to his feelings and be himself. He was so much better this way.
Everything would be fine once Yoongi came to live in Seoul. Then, all the bad memories of this place could disappear forever and he could be free. Of course, after we took our time to get over those terrible events.
Jimin and Minah, as well as all the accidents and drama that had happened... It would all just stay a memory we would associate with this place in several years.
I couldn't say I had a good impression of Minah, as she had been the reason for the hate between the two boys. She was the reason Yoongi and I had almost been seperated and dead.
Not to mention, Jimin becoming what he was. He had been too blinded to even sense common reason, nearly killed me and did kill himself.
I was only grateful for still being alive. Thanks to that, I could be with Yoongi. He and I still had a way to go, but we would get there eventually.
We had enough time to take it easy, until he got a job and I finished my last year in school.
But, one thing was for sure; the things we had lived through here would be a memory we would cherish forever.
Good things as well as bad things happened...
But these things made us to who we are today and will never tear us apart.
~
The End
THANK YOU<3
I am shook that so many people read my first fanfic!! Thank you for your kind and funny comments, votes and of course, reading the thing at all xD
I had fun writing this ff even though I sometimes had the feeling jt went on a bit slow. But I'll improve, the more I write~
If you guys have any suggestions or advice to give, I'd gladly accept and listen!
Until soon (hopefully),
Byee❤