XXXVI.
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Song of the chapter:
Cliff's Edge by Hayley Kiyoko
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What makes him so terrible? It surely can't be that obvious considering I haven't had the slightest clue as to what it is. What does he do to these girls? Why do they all hate him so much?
After much internal conflict as to whether I should have gotten up or not, I finally dragged my tired body to the shower around eight o'clock that night. When I got there, I simply stood still and let the hot water fall down my body as I stared blankly at the white tile on the wall. My thoughts moved so quickly until it seemed they were tangled in one big mass of confusion.
I reached up and grabbed the orange Herbal Essences shampoo on the shelf and began lathering it through my hair.
Does he hurt them? I wondered. No, he wouldn't. Does he humiliate them? Maybe . . . Does he threaten them? No! That's not like Justin. Does he--
"Kennedy?" my mom's voice called from the other side of the bathroom door, followed by three knocking sounds.
I closed my eyes in an attempt to rid myself of my manic thoughts before responding. "Yeah?"
"How are you feeling?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned about my well being.
Do I feel guilty or what?
"Not good," I lied. I felt okay, definitely not my top self, but I was alright. I felt okay enough to sneak out and go to Justin's and then lie about it, after all. "Is it okay if I stay home tomorrow?"
"Jesus, that bad?"
I bit the inside of my cheek. "Yeah, I think I'm just overtired. You know, maybe I overworked myself or something."
I could almost see her smiling in response. She knew I pretty much ate, slept, breathed, and studied for school. "That'll happen. Rest up, okay?"
"Thanks mom."
It was quiet again. I was left with the sound of hundreds of water droplets on the shower floor and the little voice in the back of my head telling me how terrible I was for lying to my mom. Of course I had lied to her before about stupid little things, like whether or not I ate my vegetables at dinner or something like that. Lying about being sick and about what I planned to do the next day was not as simple as my vegetable intake.
However, I knew she was going to bed, which meant that it was just about time to leave my room and go to Justin's apartment.
Eventually I turned off the shower head and stepped out, drying myself completely before brushing and blow drying my hair.
I wasn't sure what Justin had in store for the evening, though I hoped he didn't plan on going to some party or something. Even though I wasn't completely sick, I still wasn't up for that at the moment, as appealing as it may have sounded. Anything else would have sufficed.
As the minutes passed, I coated my top lashes with a little mascara and pulled some comfortable clothes over my body that consisted of leggings and a gray crew neck sweatshirt. Impressing Justin with my appearance didn't cross my mind; he was lucky I was even sneaking out on a school night to begin with. I was sure he knew just how unlike me that was.
I glanced over at my phone and pressed the home button only to see that the time read 8:49 P.M. by the time I was done with everything. I quickly texted Justin as I left my bathroom and headed for my bed.
Me: I think my parents are asleep now, just so you know. I don't know if you left yet or not.
I locked my phone screen and bit my lip impatiently, feeling anxious about sneaking out. The first time, I made it without any injuries or making any loud noises that could have potentially woken up my parents.
Maybe I'll make it two for two, I laughed to myself.
My phone buzzed in my hands, causing me to jump from my thoughts.
J: I'm here where I usually park. Need any help sneaking out? Or are you a pro now?
I rolled my eyes and smiled, sensing his sarcasm through his typed words.
Me: I think I got it. I'll call you if I need you. Be right out.
A chill of excitement ran down my spine as I stood and moved to my bedroom door, making sure to lock it in case my parents came in my room unexpectedly. I slid my phone into the pocket of my sweatshirt and turned off my bedroom light before making my way over to the window that I previously climbed out of. Once I got there, I took a deep breath and did exactly as Justin showed me the previous night. I even made sure to keep my window open just a little in order to sneak back in easily.
The nighttime breeze tangled in my hair as I climbed down the vine on the side of the house, causing a sudden uneasiness to flow through my veins. It was short lived, however. Once my feet touched the ground safely, the anxiety quickly subsided.
I exhaled, smiling proudly at myself for sneaking out alone and so efficiently. There were no falls or anything. I was in the clear.
As quietly as I could, I moved over to Justin's car about two houses down from mine. I knew my parents, or any of the neighbors for that matter, wouldn't have had any clue what was going on. We lived on a small side street and people parked their cars on the side of the road all the time. It was almost too perfect.
I finally reached Justin's car and opened the passenger door, immediately being greeted with the sound of some alternative music station and the smell of him. I felt calm.
"Look at you," he giggled as I climbed in and closed the door. "You really are a pro."
I rolled my eyes. "You got that right."
His eyes were on me, I could tell. So I looked over at him too, loving the soft and inviting expression on his face. I missed that.
"How are you feeling?" he asked with concern.
I chuckled to myself. My mom had asked me the same question just an hour prior. "I'm okay. Still not going in tomorrow. I guess I just don't feel like it."
"Badass," he mocked. "Don't turn out like me, though. All of that skipping school and shit is no good for you."
Giggling softly, I watched as he turned away from me and put the car in drive. I loved the way the streetlights touched his skin. He looked perfectly contoured and chiseled. It was enough to make anybody swoon.
"There's a party on Friday night at one of Connor's friend's houses," Justin declared. "Does the badass want to go with me?"
I laughed again. "Sure, I'll go."
Justin practically swung his head around to me as he was driving, which I was pretty sure was dangerous to do. "Wait, what? I had this whole speech planned out to try to get you to come, which included begging, may I add, and you just agree like that? Like it's nothing?"
"I would have loved to hear you beg," I stated.
As soon as I said it, I instantly regretted it. It came out a lot dirtier than I had intended, and I would have been stupid to have thought that Justin would just let that go. The blush on my skin was almost immediate.
He was quiet for a moment, probably shocked by my response. Before I had the opportunity to defend myself, Justin placed his hand on my thigh, his fingertips brushing back and forth.
"Don't worry, there's still time for that."
His words dripped with sensuality. Although he knew I probably didn't mean it the way I had said it, he had no problem maintaining the tone of the situation. After all, that was his specialty.
"If Anna wants to come on Friday, she can, too," Justin stated, completely disregarding the accidental sexual tension created between us. It amazed me how quickly he could do it while still ensuring that it's still there. "There will be quite a few people there."
I cleared my throat, trying to divert myself from Justin's hand on my leg. It was so comforting, yet so distracting. "Yeah, I'll ask her."
"It's just down the street, too. We can walk if we want," he added.
"Does that mean you plan on being drunk? You know, since you're not driving?" I asked, turning to him.
He shrugged. "We'll see how the night goes. I have a lot of things planned."
I raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"
"Like I said, we'll see how the night goes."
Thanks, Justin, I thought to myself.
I didn't say anything. I turned my head back to the window that I was previously looking out of in an attempt to figure out what Justin was talking about. I was probably overthinking it, but the way he said it sat with me the wrong way. Was he already planning on dumping me? Was he planning on finding someone else?
My stomach turned uneasily.
Justin began talking again, but I wasn't actually listening. I was panicking slightly about his plans for Friday, whatever they were, and the slow and steadiness of his hand moving up my leg as we drove down the street into the night.
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a/n: kinda short but ya know
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