Evan’s P.O.V (next day, Saturday)
For the first time in a while, I didn’t have a dream last night. ‘Guess that’s what having a cheating boyfriend does to you. Time to confront him.” I showered and got dressed, a bit more nicely than I usually wear, ‘Hey, I have to show Harry what he’s going to miss, right?’ But in all honesty, not being with Harry kinda makes me feel like I have more freedom and can be more careless. When I was done, I grabbed my shoulder bag (Harry so kindly brought it up since I left it in the Room of Requirement) and walked downstairs. As I approached the common room, I noticed most of Gryffindor house was in there; Ron, Harry, Hermione, Seamus, Dean, the twins, Kyla, Ginny, etc. Deciding I wasn’t hungry, I looked for a secluded place to sit; there wasn’t one unless I wanted to resemble a loner (despite how I was feeling, I was not that against everyone). ’Merlin, if I was to go back upstairs I will look like an idiot whom cannot make up her mind!’
Seamus looked at me, as soon as our eyes met, my stomach filled with the same butterflies that were there before. I realized at that instant, I never, ever liked Harry more than a friend; I only dated him in attempt to get over Seamus. I looked over to Kyla, Seamus was right, I haven’t focused on my life since I dated Harry; but my life before Harry was filled with happiness and good times with Kyla, the twins, and mostly Seamus. Thinking back on to the amazing times I had with them just made me realize how much I missed Seamus and how we seemed to fit together like an inseparable puzzle piece. I looked over to the trio who were giving me weird looks, as if to say ‘what are you doing?’ Deciding to rebuild a friendship instead of confronting Harry now, I walked over to Kyla and the twins. ”Is it okay that I join you?” I asked shyly. Kyla smiled big and said, “Of course!” She continued her conversation with the twins, when she finished she diverted her attention to me. “So have you finished that horrid potions essay?”
“Yes I did, and it wasn’t that horrid.”
“Right, I forget I am speaking to the potions nerd.” She teased.
“I am not a potions nerd!” I defended.
Fred and George butted into the conversation. “Coming from the girl who reads ahead in her potions book and checks out advanced potions books for fun.”
“It’s not that advanced!” I exclaimed.
“Evan, we haven’t even covered this material yet!” Fred began.
“I’m surprised Snape hasn’t moved you into the Slytherin House just so he can give as many points to his potions prodigy that he can.” They snickered together.
“He would never give points to a previous Gryffindor student.”
“Guys, she knows that she has a point, like always.” Kyla retorted.
“Kyla oyu might want to choose your words wisely around us two. We can always ‘accidentally’ give you a puking pastille or a nosebleed nougat.” They warned placing air quotes around accidentally.
Kyla had her mouth open gaping, “You wouldn’t dare!”
Fred and George smirked and said, “Oh I think we both know you know we would.”
I pipped in, “What’s a puking pastle- whatever and nosebleed nougat?”
“Our inventions, initially created to get students out of class whenever they like.” They replied in unison.
“Brilliant!” I exclaimed.
“Oh we know which is why we have started selling them.” Fred said.
We had more small talk while Kyla and I were doing our homework and the other Gryffindors entered and exited the common room. Soon it was time for lunch abd about half of the people who were in the common room left for the Great Hall. Fred and George hurried to the Great Hall while Kyla and I stayed a while longer to pack up all our study materials.
“So why the sudden interest in hanging out with us again?” Kyla said rudely.
“I decided I didn’t want someone to control me anymore, I missed my friends, among other things.” I snapped.
“If you are ever going to tell me the truth, now is the time.” She crossed her arms and stared at me, waiting for me to reply.
“Kyla, I will tell you when I figure out some things, okay?” She looked at me, obviously not believing me. ‘Goodness, what is it with no one believing me!’ “I promise, when I sort through things, everything will be back to normal.”
“And what is normal, Evan? You’ve ignored me so long I don’t even know you anymore.” She left the common room, leaving me here alone, in the empty common room. Tomorrow we leave for Christmas, no use in trying to make amends now before break.
I decided although I’m not hungry, I’m going to the Great Hall and officially ending things with Harry then ignoring everyone until I leave. ‘This feels a lot like the beginning of the year when everyone either hated me or distrusted me. Difference is, this time, most of them have a reason.’
At the Great Hall, I saw Harry and Cho talking with facial expressions and mouthing conversations. I took my normal seat next to Hermione and acted like nothing happened. When Harry noticed me there he was confused. ‘Guess Ron and Hermione told him.’ Ron and Hermione gave me nervous, supportive smiles while pretending to be really interested in eating. Or at least Hermione was pretending, Ron was stuffing his face as usual. There was an awkward silence until I broke it, “So, Harry what are your plans for the holidays?” I asked casually.
“Going to Grimmauld Place with my godfather and the Weasleys. What about you?” He asked, obviously still puzzled.
“I am going home, first time I’ve had a Christmas there in years.” I paused to let him speak but when he didn’t I continued. “Not that you really care.” I glared at him as I said this louder. He looked up from his food and at me. I resumed, “So what is Cho doing over the holidays?” He choked on the roll he was eating.
“Wha- what?”
“I said, What. Is. Cho. Doing. Over. The. Holidays.” I enunciated each word.
“Listen, Evan, I can explain-“
“Explain what?” I interrupted. “That you only asked me out to get some inside information on Lord Voldemort? To make sure my brother doesn’t kill you? Do you honestly think I’m a death eater? I wear to many perky clothes to be a death eater!” I shouted making my voice louder with each question. I stood up to make my presence even more dominant. “I thought you were better than that, Harry. But I was wrong to give you a second chance, you are the same git I met at Florean Fortescue’s back before school started. I thought us dating would relieve both of our stress, but I was clearly wrong! This is why I don’t help those when it involves my feelings being sacrificed, because it just leads to lies and drama.” By now the entire Great Hall was focused on me and Harry. ”Truth be told, Harry, at first sight you liked me because I was different, a mystery, the ‘nice Malfoy’, when you lost interest, you ignored me. And me? I nrver had more than a friend feeling with you, never. I acted like I did, but I just used you to get over Seamus (note: here Seamus smirks when he hears this), which is how I’m not crying over this, because I never felt anything romantic towards you.” I left the Great Hall feeling like a ton of weight has lifted from my shoulders with a smile on my face. Once in my dormitory, I immediately started packing my things. ‘I have never been so eager to return home. Thank Merlin, Mum and Dad were taking us out early and didn’t know about any of my relationships here. I don’t want to be cooped up in this place, I need freedom, no matter how small.’ I showered and changed into my pjs after I finished packing, then I slowly fell into a deep dreamless sleep.
Today Mum and Father were taking Draco and I out from Hogwarts. I have kept to myself during class and the time afterwards; I spent more time studying, tutoring Blaise, or focusing on my dreams. I rarely eat and sleep much these days just to avoid everyone, except Draco and Blaise. My trunks are packed and I let out a deep sigh as I am about to exit my dorm. Suddenly the doors open from the outside, it was Kyla.
“Where are you going? Break doesn’t start until later in the week.” She asked.
“Home, as if it concerns you.” I snapped coldly then levitated my trunk downstairs and left the common room without saying goodbye to anyone. I met up with Draco on the edge of Hogwarts grounds since we would be taking the carriages to Hogsmeade Station together. What I was not expecting was seeing Blaise and Pansy there as well. Pansy looked at me in disgust. “What is she doing here?” She asked repulsed by my presence.
“She is my sister and has been asked by them to come.” Draco snapped. Pansy shut up and looked upset. ‘Obviously them is death eaters and they wanted to see me but why?’ We silently boarded the train, Pansy apparently still fancies Draco because she sat right next to him, leaving me with Blaise. Pansy and Draco were talking about who knows what while Blaise and I stayed in a comfortable silence.
Until he broke it, “They’re stupid gits, you know.” I looked up at him confused at what he was talking about. He continued noticing my confused face, “All the Gryffindors that won’t speak to you. They should get it out of their supposed courageous, thick heads that everyone is perfect and no one makes mistakes; because we all do.”
“Well I make plenty more mistakes and am not perfect at all.” I looked into the window, Hogwarts barely visible now.
“Well that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.” I turned back to him and gave him another confused expression. “You are too cute, you know that, especially when you have that confused look on your face.”
“I do not have a confused look on my face.” I defended.
“Yes you do. And I was saying you are perfect; the perfect you just makes a lot of mistakes.” I smiled at him sweetly and blushed. “Like dating those filthy half-bloods for example.”
“Yea, that was stupid.” I sighed.
“Yes it was, but those were your mistakes that make you, you.” I rolled my eyes.
“You are so lucky I understand what you mean because to anyone else that would be terribly confusing.” I smiled at him and continued. “Fine, my mistakes make me who I am and yes they are complete stupid gits.” I giggled then looked back out the window.
“Thanks for tutoring me by the way; you really are a great teacher.” He looked sincerely into my eyes and I slightly blushed in response.
“You’re welcome. So are you going to give me information as to what we will exactly be doing over the holidays? I know it must be more than exchanging gifts and drinking butterbeer around the tree.”
He looked uneasy but finally responded, “We are supposed to be having some sort of party with death eaters, at least that’s why Pansy and I are going.”
“So you are implying that Draco and I are there for a different reason?” I asked.
“Draco hasn’t told me much, but he believes you and he will be attending an actual meeting with them.” He replied emotionless.
“Oh okay.” I yawned and rolled my head back on the seat as I felt my eyes get heavy.
“You should get some sleep, it’s a long rife and I will wake you up as we are about to arrive.” I wanted to protest but I felt so tired, I nodded and tilted my head to the side. Soon afterwards I was in a peaceful sleep until I heard the words, ‘Avada Kendavra’ coming from my mouth. The body dropped immediately to the ground. I walked over to confirm the person was dead; I got a good look at the face, it was Seamus. I immediately sat up and started hyperventilating, Blaise took me in his arms and calmed me down.
“Evan, what happened?” he asked concerned.
I just shook my head not wanting to talk about it and started taking deep breaths.
“Do you want to talk about it somewhere else?” He asked. I shook my head again and snuggled more into his chest as his arms wrapped tighter around me. “You can go back to sleep if you want. We still have an hour or two until we arrive. It could help you calm down, you don’t want to see your mum looking tired, do you?” I shook my head and let my eyes slowly close. Blaise kept his arms around me as I fell asleep on his shoulder.
After what felt like minutes later, Blaise shook me awake. “Evan, we are nearly there. I figured you don’t want to reunite with your parents groggily?”
“Yea, I don’t, guess I better be alert when I see them.” He chuckled dryly as I got out of his grip and sat up. I stretched in my seat and conversed with Blaise until the train slowed to a stop. We all got our things and exited the train. We were greeted by mum and side apparated home. Time flew by at the manor and we didn’t really do anything, I barely spoke or saw anyone besides at meals. Luckily though, Mum and Father didn’t mind the quietness coming from me. Soon we were all having a meeting at the manor; all the death eaters had to attend to listen to the Dark Lord’s orders. Draco and I weren’t allowed to go to the meeting as we weren’t official death eaters yet, branded with his mark. Soon the unimportant death eaters left and only the high favorites of the Dark Lord were there.
“Draco and Evangeline Malfoy.” Draco and I stepped forward to face him. “I trust you know why you’re here?” Draco and I stayed silent. “Well, we need inside information from Hogwarts; more than Severus as he is a teacher and does not know things about the students.” He paused. “Evangeline, I hear you are in Gryffindor?” I nodded my head. “What a shame.”
“The sorting hat said I had qualities of both houses but thought I could be more useful in Gryffindor.” I easily lied. Draco looked shocked that I had lied, let alone spoken to the Dark Lord.
“And useful you will be. I need you to get close to Potter and the trio, learn of their plans. I need both of you to become my followers; think of how much power you will have. I will give you and your brother five minutes to discuss.” He started talking to the death eaters, Draco turned to me.
“We should do it, the both of us.” He whispered to me. “Both of those filthy half-bloods broke your heart and don’t care about you. Even your best friend hasn’t spoken to you in a while; what do you have to sacrifice?”
He did have a point, Seamus no longer cares about me, Harry used me to his advantage, and I haven’t spoken to Kyla since I started dating Harry, and I even have ignored the mysterious, talkative Weasley twins.
“You are right, I have nothing but family left, and there is nothing more important than family. I will do it, for the Malfoy name sake.” I replied, I looked back to my mum. She looked down at her feet with guilt. I continued, “But we must wait, people will get suspicious if suddenly after Christmas break I start wearing dark colors to hide it. I will gradually start wearing dark colors and distancing myself from Draco and his friends to ease suspicion. Also that way, the Dark Lord will be getting stronger by recruiting more mature wizards who would most likely refuse if they discovered that we joined at such a young age.” I finished calmly; I was shocked at my calmness. Here I was setting myself up to be a death eater.
Finally the Dark Lord spoke, “Very smart and wise, young girl, you will make your family proud and bring pride and honor to them, but mostly yourself. Maybe you can teach your father a lesson or two; I have never come across a witch or wizard who is as fearless in this situation as you,” He looked over to my father in disgust, ‘Guess he’s still upset about the not looking for him.’ “Well then, we will initiate them over the summer. Until then, Evangeline, it will do us well to have such a strong witch, such as you, for an ally.” With his last words spoken, he and the death eaters apparated out of our home.
The day after, we were to have a Christmas party in which of all people of vital importance will attend, and most of the undercover death eaters. I was dressed in a black lacey dress (picture to the side), my hair was curled and pinned up elegantly, and my make up was minimal, only complimenting my bright blue eyes. Once I was ready, I met Mum, Draco, Father, Blaise and Pansy in the stair room (room before the grand staircase).
“So Lucius and I will enter first and welcome everyone then Draco and Pansy will descend the stair case followed by Evangeline and Blaise. Then everyone will waltz and will mingle afterwards. Everyone understand?” We all nodded our heads and paired up.
As mum instructed, first her and Father went out and after a while we were signaled to go out as well. Us four danced and were soon joined by everyone else, I started dancing with Blaise but ended up dancing with about five males that were at least twenty. When Blaise and I met up again I asked, “Promise not to let me alone with any of these creeps?” He replied, “Promise.” Soon the dancing ended and everyone was mingling with everyone; true to his word, Blaise remained attached to my arm during all the boring conversations. Dinner was served in our grand dining room; the house elves worked all day preparing the meal and it was apparent, though no one would tell them. After dinner was served, the people who worked at the ministry resumed mingling while the undercover death eaters snuck away to the lounge where another meeting was to be held. Mum motioned Draco and I to come when we stayed behind. I politely excused Blaise and I from the man we were talking to. We joined the others in the lounge before he apparated in. This meeting was similar to the one before but now all the death eaters were here and the Dark Lord told them of our allegiance. He was still thrilled to have my alliance with him, and I didn’t mind pleasing the only people who cared about me; Mum, Draco, Blaise, Father, these are the only people that care about me and I will not lose them, not like I lost Seamus. I am acting like the typical girl who still loves this guy even though we are broken up and he probably loathes me. I must stop from feeling these emotions if I’m to be a successful death eater. Yes, I must erase all of my emotions from me to uphold the Malfoy name (or what it used to be).
When everyone else left or tuned in, only Draco and I were awake, sitting in the informal lounge.
“Are you nervous?” he asked me honestly.
“Not really, sure just a little bit frightened but not nervous. I kind of feel this is our path to follow, so might as well embrace it.” I relied.
He smirked and relaxed a little bit more, “And there’s that Gryffindor bravery coming out. Maybe you were meant to be in that house.”
“Please, if I were in Slytherin, everything would be so much simpler. But I suppose I should be, otherwise the hat wouldn’t have sorted me into it.” I smirked at him. “But this is for the best, now the Dark Lord has some inside Potter information.” I stated.
“Why are you going against the Gryffindors, your friends, practically your school family?” he questioned.
“Well I haven’t really got friends anymore, everyone is ignoring me. Plus I don’t think my ‘family’ would be against me, use me, and just plain lie to me; making me over dramatic because I don’t know how else to deal with the drama. Anyways, I’ve always known I’d never fit in the way people want me to. I kind of have split personalities; like there’s the sweet and innocent me but then there’s this other me that wants others to be scared of me and show them my power.” Draco and I continued our serious conversation before going to bed.
Soon it was Christmas day and we just had family over for dinner; Mum, Father, Draco, Bellatrix, and Rodolphus. No one was in much of a Christmas spirit; except Bellatrix but I think that’s just her insanity. Not that I blame her, she was in Azkaban for fourteen years. Everyone was still processing yesterday’s events; especially Draco and I being the ones to bring honor back to our family; the entire Malfoy name on our shoulders. After dinner, we all went up to bed. Once done showering and dressing in my black sleeping gown, I got under my covers then fell into a light slumber; haunted by nightmares.
I am dressed in all black semi casual clothes, staring out of the Astronomy Tower. I heard footsteps so I swiftly turned around, my wand high up at the shadowed area where I heard the footsteps. Seamus stepped out of the shadows and said, “Relax, Eva, it’s just me.” I lowered my wand, which then Seamus took, and turned back to the lake. Seamus stepped beside me, “What’s the matter, Eva? Ever since you came back from the summer you seem so paranoid, like someone is trying to harm you.” He looked back at me with sorrow eyes. “Are you alright?” I kept my gaze on the once beautiful scenery which now held no beauty to me. “You seem different and I don’t like it. I miss the old Eva; the one that would laugh at anything and everything.” he stated sternly, grabbing my shoulders to get my attention and to turn me around to face him. “Say something, Eva, anything?”
I looked down at my feet, “I am fine Seamus, not that its any of your concern, but I am fine, absolutely, perfectly fine.” I looked up at him, ignoring his eyes.
“You are not fine, Eva. I know you.”
“You knew me, Seamus, and don’t you dare call me out on how I am feeling. You needn’t concern yourself with me.” I was going to continue talking but he interrupted me.
“But I can’t not be concerned about you Eva.” He tilted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. “I still love you. I never said it while we were dating, but I knew I did. I have never stopped loving you.” Tears welled up in my eyes and he began to lean in but I pushed him away.
“You can’t love me, Seamus. You can’t love someone whose light is gone.” (Light symbolizes the good, life, love, etc.) I made my way out of the tower but before I left, he grabbed my arm. Letting my instincts/ paranoia take over, I pushed him away. I heard him stumble and scream. Worried about him, I ran over to the edge of the tower, looked over the rail to see Seamus falling. I searched frantically for my wand, before realizing Seamus had it. I ran back over to the railing and started bawling and screaming, “No, Seamus, no. I love you. Please come back, Seamus.”
I jolted up in my bed still repeating my last words to him and letting silent tears fall. After about ten minutes, I slowly realized it was just a nightmare, a very realistic nightmare. I was at home, safely at the manor, not a death eater yet, and Seamus was safe at his home for the holidays. The sun slowly peaked from the curtains reminding me today was Boxing Day and I must act happy. I got up, drenched in sweat I might add, showered and dressed before heading downstairs where my family would be having breakfast. I walked to the dining room expecting to see Mum, Father and Draco, but not Blaise and his mum.
“Morning Evangeline, I trust you slept well?” Mum asked taking a sip of tea.
“Yes mother, I slept very well, thank you for asking.” She nodded and I took my seat next to Draco. “Mum, you could have told me that we had company, I would have gotten up earlier and dressed more properly.”
“You look fine, Evan.” Blaise reassured me; his mum eyeing me in approval.
“It’s not a problem dear, we did not know they were coming until their owl came this morning whilst you were asleep.” Mum stated.
“We do apologize for out intrusion, Narcissa. But we did have best intentions for everyone.” Mrs. Zabini apologized.
“It’s quite all right, well it’s almost that time, and you do have that meeting.” Mum interrupted Mrs. Zabini, who looked like she had more to say. Mrs. Zabini nodded her head then said her goodbyes before apparating out of our home.
“So Blaise, you will be spending Boxing Day with us?” I asked before taking a bite of toast.
“Yes, Mum had an emergency meeting so I’m spending today as well as the rest of the holidays with you.” He smiled secretly at me, causing me to blush. ’Why did I get this feeling like everyone is in on a secret? A secret that has to deal with me.’
After breakfast, Draco, Blaise, and I went to the den to relax a bit. Draco and Blaise were in the large cushion chairs talking, and I was laying down in the loveseat reading Machiavelli’s “The Prince”, in an awkward position (I do that all the time). They were barely talking above a whisper seemingly to keep me out of their conversation. Becoming highly annoyed with the secretiveness going on at my house, I slammed my book shut and asked “So what are you two talking about?”
Blaise looked really nervous and said, “Ummm nothing?”
Draco sighed, obviously knowing I wouldn’t buy it, and said “We happened to be talking about your Christmas gift, if you must know.” He smirked.
“Why my gifts?” I shouted.
“We were betting on whose gift you would like best.”
“And?” I pestered.
“At first I thought my gift would be unable to top but after hearing what Blaise got you, I had to owe him ten galleons.”
“So Blaise got me the better gift?” I asked grinning cheesily at Blaise.
“Most definitely, I am the person that knows what to get you because I know you so well.” He smirked.
“Don’t smirk the Malfoy Smirk, Zabini. And are you trying to tell me that you know me better than my brother?” I asked flirtatiously.
“It is not the Malfoy Smirk, Evan, it’s the Zabini Smirk. And that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Hmmm, Zabini Smirk, eh? Never heard of it.” I giggled, yes I sadly giggled. Time passed and soon lunch was ready. After eating our lunch, we gathered in the lounge to exchange gifts.
Use your imagination to decide what gifts she receives/ gives.
Blaise was the last one to hand me my gift, the box was extremely small. ‘How can it be the best gift if it’s so small?’ I carefully opened the lid and looked inside. I was shocked to find a beautiful diamond ring; short to say I was speechless. I didn’t say a word for five minutes, I hadn’t even moved.
Blaise obviously thinking I didn’t like the gift started rambling, “I’m sorry, I thought you would have liked it. I asked Drac-“
Out of enthusiasm, I cut him off. “I love it!” Blaise’s frown turned upside down. “But it’s much too much, we are only friends. I can’t accept it.” And his frown is back.
“Yes we are only friends, but you have been going through a hard time lately involving Potter and plus whenever I saw it, I immediately thought of you.”
“Awww, this is the sweetest gift ever!” I exclaimed, and then walked up to him to give him a tight hug. When we let go, I noticed a mistletoe hanging above us; that wasn’t there before…Draco. I got on my tiptoes and pecked him on the lips. Mum awed at us with a camera in her hand. ‘Great.’ Blaise and I blushed at her reaction to the tiny kiss we shared. This was definitely the best Christmas yet; despite my embarrassment.
Now that Blaise was over, Draco and I were a lot less bored. We actually had fun, we got out of the house, went out a couple times; sometimes just Blaise and I. But soon we were all packed and ready to return to Hogwarts for the rest of the year. ‘Hopefully the rest of the year will be better.’
A/N: How did you like it? This is so far my longest chapter, being eleven pages on microsoft word, but it covers a lot. Right?This song just kind of represents how Evan finally realizes she really loves Seamus. Speaking of Evan, I am interested in how you guys pronounce her nickname: like the male name Evan, or like Evanne, or Evan with the a pronounced like 'ah'? I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please comment, vote, or daresay fan. I am almost done with the first part of this trilogy. Like I'm planning on each year being a book, and there will be an epilogue in the final one. Any opinions on my planning? I really would like to hear from my readers! And this dedication goes to purplelover871 for fanning me. It really means a lot to me when I get comments and people fan me. Just thank everyone so much for reading my story.