unedited
* * *
“I- I can’t do it,” Eren says in a pained tone.
“Eren, you can do this, you’ve been practicing non-stop for weeks.”
Eren doesn’t stop pacing, his heart beating violently against his chest. The perspiration that forms on his forehead is visible, even after the application of extra makeup. He is nervous, that much is obvious. He tried to keep his cool; but he fails.
“Levi, that’s a lot of people,” Eren says in a panicked voice.
“Look--” i place both hands on his shoulders and turn him around to fully face me “--don’t pay attention to them, everything is going to be fine. I believe in you, babe.”
Eren gulps painfully. He nods, his eyes refusing to part from mine. I feel bad for him, today was the biggest day of his life. It was going to be the first time in a long time that he performed in front of hundreds of people, one of them being his mother.
“Thank you,” he breathes. “I just can't believe it's actually happening– I've wanted this day to come for such a long time, I can't believe it's actually here.”
“I know, you wouldn't stop talking about it for months.”
“No, I've been waiting for years. Ever since in was younger, I've wanted a chance to prove to my mother that a pianist is what I was born to be.”
Eren looks down now, his eyes saddened. I trail my hands down his taut arms to his shaking hands. I collect his delicate hands into my own, intertwining our fingers. Mine laced over his and I give him a slight squeeze. His lips curl ever so slightly and my stomach flutters with those little butterflies that make me sick, yet I adored it so.
“Eren, look at me,” I order softly.
He doesn't hesitate to meet my eyes. I manage a small smile before taking a single hand and placing it over his delicate skin that was covered by stage makeup. He rests his forehead against mine, our eyes refusing to part once more.
If I could describe the feeling I get when gaze into his bright, teal colored orbs, the word would be magical. Magical, because it's as if he had put a spell upon me. A spell that refuses me to break away, and I don't mind that. I don't mind getting lost in the sea of his enchanted teal eyes, but I'm afraid to let myself swim too far out into it. If I ever let myself fall victim to Eren's love, I would never be able to pull away. I can never admit to love, not yet.
“Hey,” he says as we rest against each other.
“Hey,” I repeat. Now where have I seen this before?
“Thank you, again.”
“Hey, I'm your partner. I gotta stick around to make sure you don't screw up, right?” I say with a grin.
Eren couldn't help but let out a snort as his nerves began to feel at ease. “You're more than just my partner for this duet. You are my chèvre magique.”
“I'm your magical goat?”
“Is that what I said?” Eren flusters a dark shade of crimson and I let out a laugh.
“Yeah, you just called me your magical goat.”
“Well, I guess I have to study more,” Eren says before planting a kiss on my forehead.
“You're on in next,” says the stage manager.
Eren tensed, pulling away from me to clench his chest. “Shit–”
“Eren, it's going to be okay just– don't play for them, okay?”
Eren took a step back, shaking his head. “B- but–”
“Sh, listen, don't play for your mom, okay? Don't okay for the professors, the composers, the audience, don't play for them,” I tell him in a serious tone. I reach for his hand, but he yanks it away.
“Then who am I supposed to play for? The king of France?” He retorts sarcastically.
I roll my eyes, shaking my head before stepping closer to Eren. He tenses, his heart beginning to pick up at an unsteady pace. I reach for his arm again, and this time he lets me. I plant a kiss upon his knuckles, holding his shaking hand in my own.
“Don't play for them, Eren. Play for me.”
* * *
“And to close this grand recital is a piano and violin duet between Eren Yeager and Levi Ackerman,” says Petra.
The audience begins to clap as the spotlight is cut. Petra exits the stage, giving Eren and I a pat on the back. She wishes us a quick “good luck” before running off to congratulate her music class for an outstanding performance.
Eren looks behind him, eyes me with a pained look. I firmly nod, reassuring him I was right behind him. He swallows the formed lump in his throat as he begins to glide across the stage in his freshly pressed suit and polished black shoes. I follow behind, my violin in on hand and bow in the other.
Walking to the center of the stage now I can feel my stomach tighten. Why now, of all times, do I feel nervous? Thing is, I wasn't nervous for myself at all, I knew what I was to do. It was Eren that I was concerned about. If if he slipped up in any way, he would shut down–just like he did in rehearsal.
“If you do that during your performance, your chances of getting into a musical university will fly out the window. Focus, Eren,” that's what Petra had said to him; and that's what Eren had to follow.
Reaching center stage, Eren and I pause before the audience and bow at the waist. I position myself upright, my bow hovering above the stings as I take in my final breath. Glancing over at Eren, who was already gazing at me to begin, I give a solid nod.
And so it begins.
* * *
It was powerful, the first note and, coming from Eren, I could feel it's power surge through me as I follow his lead. That's how it's been these last few months, me following him wherever he'd go.
No, it's been longer than just a few months. I've been following Eren way before that. I've followed Eren since the start, since that very first day.
I can almost remember when I first met Eren. It was a cool spring day, I know that much because it had just finished sprinkling outside. The dewy earth after an April shower was one of the things I loved about spring. Being able to watch the raindrops race each other down the windowpane was a pastime of mine,that is, before I started reading books.
I remember sitting in front of the big window in the living room watching the race between two droplets that had built up on their journey down the glass. That was about the time when Grisha's car pulled into our driveway for the first time. I was about three or four at the time, but there are little things that I remember about seeing Eren's parents for the first time.
For one, Carla had the brightest smile. She was creepy though, she embraced me into a warm hug as if we hadn't seen each other in years, which was exactly as it was. She hadn't seen me since my mother had a C-section at the hospital a few years prior.
Then I met Grisha. At the time, I didn't know what a surgeon was. Grisha himself was barely a graduate from Sina University.
This was way before mother's surgery, and before Buddy was even brought into the family. It was just mom and I.
Then there was Eren. Bright eyes and an even brighter smile, oh how it terrified me to see him smile. He had just finished eating a chocolate bar. It was smothered all over his face and hands, disgusting.
I ran towards my mother, who ultimately pushed me closer to Eren. I cried, not wanting the other to even touch me. Mom and Carla thought it was hilarious. She, Carla, and Grisha talked amongst themselves as they strolled into the kitchen leaving me alone with Eren.
Now, I don't remember much after Eren chased me around the living room for an hour with his chocolate-covered fingers; but I do remember following him around the house for the next few weeks while his family stayed with us until the house next door was completely renovated. I remember following up and down the stairs, in and out of each room as we played pretend.
I followed his footsteps, ate what he ate, and mimicked him in everything he did. I don't exactly know why, but for a long time I admired him and his adventurous attitude. I liked how hen wasn't afraid to touch worms with his bare hands, or how he wasn't afraid to climb up to the kitchen counter to steal the sweets in the glass jar. I liked how he was the first friend I made, the first person I actually trusted for a long time.
Of course, not everything stays, right?
After our friendship had been broken, and Eren avoided me for the longest time, I thought I would never trust anyone ever again. Boy, was I depressing.
I found Farlan, had adopted Buddy, and had grown closer with my mom. I didn't think I needed anyone else, but there he was again, waiting for me in my dorm room like a little creeper.
That's where I began to follow him again, and, at first, I didn't know I was. I didn't know what I was looking for when we started talking again, and frankly, I still don't know what I'm looking for.
I'm following Eren, I'm following him in hopes of finding something that wasn't there before.
Our notes continue to play. The power rising and falling, our instruments fighting for power, yet they are always equal.
I find myself with watery eyes, my heart beating against my chest at a rapid speed as our song slowly comes to an end.
“I want you to play exactly that.”
What Eren, what do you want me to play? I'll play anything for you.
“Play the strings to my heart.”
I can.
I will.
I have.
The audience roars in applause. Is it over? Did we do it?
Eren breathes heavily, perspiration dripping down his face. His heart is racing, mine is too. It takes him a moment to realize that his performance was over, but only his.
I still have one more thing to do before I can say it's over, one more thing to do before night is over.
Eren stands from the piano bench, his eyes wide as we stare at each other. His breaths are uneven as he takes slow, steady steps towards the front of the stage. We take hold of each other's hands, gazing over the audience as they continue to cheer. We bow at the waist, staying there for a second before slowly coming up to face what we once feared, knowing that we have beat it.
Fear.
“Eren–”
“I did it, Levi.” Eren turns to face me. “I played for you.”
That look. That glisten in his eyes. That determination, the bravery, the power. That's what I've been looking for. It's always been there, right in front of me. A reason to have strength, a reason to become what I couldn't be before.
I am me, for you.
I trail my free hand up his chest to the back of his neck, and, without warning, I pulled him towards me. I pressed my lips against his, forcing him into a kiss by surprise.
It was sloppy, messy, and unplanned; but Eren didn't pull away. Instead, he took the lead and guided my tongue to where it felt right. Everything felt as if it were meant to happen this way, as if my life had been lived up to this moment.
My first kiss. My first true, heartfelt kiss. Who would've guessed that it'd be with Eren?
The audience didn't know how to react, but my mom did.
“That's my boy!” she screams across the music hall. Of course, all eyed were on her now. Eren pulled away, out of breath even more than before.
He smiled, and I couldn't help but smile too as the curtains began to close in front of us.
“Play the strings to my heart.”
I can.
I have.
And I always will.
* * *
Author's Note:
So you've made it to the end, eh? Congratulations, you didn't die of cringe!
I hope I wasn't too late for this chapter, I was procrastinating in writing it since I didn't know how I wanted it to play out, but here it is!
Thank you for reading, and as always ~
Vote, comment, and be gay ♡
2,150 words