Majesty A. Collins
I've been workin' this graveshift and I ain't made shit, I wish I could buy me a spaceship and fly past the sky.
Music played throughout the small room, but not too loud so I could still hear the voices of Aurelia, Javier, the makeup artist, and my manager. My butt began to ache from sitting in the chair for so long.
"Okay my love," Ria grinned. "Stand up and face me. Let's see you!"
A quiet laugh escaped my lips as I did as told.
"Yas Majesty, your makeup is so beautiful." She complimented not only her work, but me. "In order for the makeup to be beautiful the model must be stunning." Ria began to play with my hair, puffing it out some more. She was one of the few people who nearly had a heart attack when I decided to cut my hair even shorter. Actually, she cried.
I just felt as if I needed a change.
"Awe," I blushed, "thank you Ria."
"I still don't understand why you never took up the modeling business. But I guess your calling is something else," she shrugged.
Before I had the opportunity to reply to her, Baylor, my manager, peeked her head inside the room. "It's almost that time Majesty."
Taking a deep breath, my eyes wandered over to Aurelia and Javier, who were sitting on the couch playing with Bratz dolls. It was as if Javier felt my eyes on them. Looking up, his eyes seemed to widen as he looked me up and down. Dropping the doll on the couch, he then patted Aurelia's arm and pointed at me. Relia's mouth dropped as she released the doll from her grip. Laughing, I bended down and motioned for her to come here.
Aurelia hopped off of the couch and ran as fast as her short legs could until she reached my arms. I nearly fell back from the impact, but luckily one of my hands was placed on the ground to prevent me from falling backwards.
I securely wrapped my arms around my growing baby before standing up and following behind Baylor. Aurelia held me tightly while resting her head on my shoulder. Every now and then I could feel her long, dark, curly hair tickling the crook of my neck.
I couldn't believe Aurelia was now five. She has been five for three months now, but it's still hard to digest. It feels as if just yesterday I was crying over becoming a mom. I never imagined our lives to turn out this way, but God had this all planned. If I couldn't deal with it then he wouldn't have given me this war.
I used to believe I was weak; but God gives the hardest battles to his strongest warriors.
My prize at the end of it all was my beautiful daughter.
My walking came to a stop when I noticed Baylor's did also. We remained behind the blue curtain. My ears were filled with the chattering of the many people on the other side of the curtain. Baylor turned on her heels, her dark curls bounced in the process. The red dress she was attired in really brought out the red undertone of her dark skin.
I lifted Aurelia up more to my hip since she began to slide down due to the lilac silk dress she was excited to wear.
"Are you ready?" Baylor beamed.
"I'm nervous!" I admitted with a breathy laugh.
"You've been waiting for this moment all your life," Baylor stated. "Being nervous is okay, but don't allow that to mess you up or make you not enjoy the opportunity. Who knows how many times this will happen? I pray it'll be a normal thing for you, but for now treat it as if it's an once in a lifetime opportunity. Live in the present."
My small smile slowly disappeared. "How can I live in the present when I'll be talking about my past?"
"Majesty," Baylor sighed, "I-"
"I got this," A deep voice interrupted.
Quickly turning around, I was met by Javier. He had a sympathetic smile on his face. With a small nod, Baylor dismissed herself, giving Javier and I a moment.
"Hey Relia," Javier spoke in his little kid voice, "how 'bout you go ask Ria for a juice box and play with your dolls for a few minutes, okay?"
"Okay." She nodded quickly, desperate to get out of my arms. With a small chuckle, I carefully placed her on the ground and watched as she ran down the dark hall.
"You good?" Javier inquired with a cocked eyebrow.
I gave a small shrug and looked elsewhere. "Usually I'm fine," I admitted. I met Javier soft, dark eyes. "I don't know if it's different this time because this is so important and will be... huge; or if it's the fact today is the eighth of November." I could feel the tears stinging the brim of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Not because I was afraid to cry over him, but because in a few minutes I'll have at least a million people watching my every move. Lucky for me, only a few thousand were actually here. The rest of the people will be watching from televisions. "He'd be thirty five today Javier..."
"Look," he sighed, "I know you're beginning to regret scheduling this on his birthday, but you gotta realize you chose this date for a reason. You knew this would be the opportunity for these people to see the real you. To feel you."
Fanning my eyes, I nodded. "You're right, you're right."
"He can't hurt you anymore Majesty."
He's right. He's absolutely right. Alex can't hurt me anymore. He's gone, and he's been gone for about five years now. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think of him. I see him in Aurelia; looks wise. As a baby and toddler she used to look like me, but it's as if I blinked and now she's a split image of him. I still don't know if that's necessarily a good or bad thing, but what I do know is that I still love him. I can never stop loving him.
If it's real love, it'll never truly go away.
Despite everything, I love him and I know he loves me. The ones who think of me as an idiot, they just don't understand love. Love never disappears.
After thanking Javier and giving him a tight hug, my confidence had gone up. It was just on time also because my names as called and the clapping and cheering had begun. I inhaled slowly, and exhaled even slower.
This one is for Alex.
Putting a bright smile on my face, I emerged from behind the dark blue curtains and began to make my way towards the table I'd be sitting at. I made sure to wave as I made my way to the table. Once sitting down in the cushioned seat, my eyes gazed around at the many people sitting in chairs with books in their hands. There was also a section to my left where many reporters and camera men were. In the large balcony there were even more people who sat and stood. My heartbeat increased at the thought of this many people caring to hear what I had to say. There weren't this many people attending my speech last month
This many people bought my book? Now I see why it's a New York Times Best Seller.
"Hi," I smiled into the microphone that was attached to the table. "I just want to start off by thanking you all for coming out and supporting me. I appreciate it so much." I continued to smile, full of genuine happiness as the many cameras flashed and caught this moment. "So, I guess we can start off with questions?"
Many hands quickly raised, but I chose a reporter from New York Times first just to get a bit more publicity.
"Miss Collins, how do you feel about the success of your book and will there be a sequel your fans can look forward to?" The young blonde woman spoke into the microphone that was provided for her.
Unintentionally, I pulled at my bottom lip with my thumb and index finger while humming softly. "I'm honestly shocked about how well my book has done, but nevertheless, I appreciate it. Unfortunately, there will not be a sequel for the book, but I will work on new books."
She thanked me before writing down everything she needed.
In the meantime, I called on someone from the audience. "Uh, you in the yellow dress. That's gorgeous by the way."
The dark skinned woman smiled and thanked me in return. "I'm such a huge fan!" She exclaimed excitedly. "I'm just curious on how you chose the title Black Rose."
"Well, I thought of him as a rose. To me he was a rose," I admitted. "But he wasn't just an ordinary rose. He inflicted pain, yet love at the same time."
"Wow," she gasped in amazement.
With a large smile on my face, I called on a white man dressed in a dark blue suit. "What was your opinion on abusive relationships before you were in one? What's your opinion now? And has this past marriage with this man made you not want to be in another relationship?"
Wow, that was quite a few questions..
"My before opinion was why don't those girls leave. I assumed they could just leave but they chose to stay. Now I've learned it's the complete opposite. Even when you want to leave, you feel as if you deserve the pain the man is giving you." Quickly gazing up at the ceiling, I felt tears burning the brim of my eyes. I didn't look up long, just killing enough to avoid the tears. "My past relationship hasn't made me scared to be in another relationship. I just haven't been in one since he passed away because I needed to rebuild what he knocked down. Five years later and I'm still trying to do that."
The questions went on with me answering them without a problem. Some even caused me to laugh a bit.
When a brown skinned woman in the front row raised her hand it seemed as if time froze. With squinting eyes, I leaned forward into the table trying to see if my eyes were deceiving me.
There in the front row was the woman I believed who was my best friend, yet made me lose all of my trust in her when she decided to sleep with my then husband. But by the ring on her finger and the toddler sitting in her lap, she was now happily married. My eyes switched to the man beside her with his hand resting on her thigh. On his finger was a wedding band. Once again, I squinted and realized I also knew the man. Harlan, but his Afro was trimmed down, giving the illusion that he was a different person.
I slowly pointed to Keiara, not knowing if it was the right thing to do or not. But I believe it was the right thing since she smiled, showing her bright and straight teeth that braces probably fixed.
"How do you feel about your old friend Keiara now?" She ran her tongue along her bottom lip, never tearing her eyes away from me. "Do you still hate her for sleeping with Alexander?"
My eyes pierced into her dark ones as she brought her thumb up to her mouth, chewing on the fingernail.
"I... I don't hate her," I admitted, still looking Keiara in her eyes. "At first, I did of course. I mean, she constantly told me to stay away from him, but up and slept with him." I shook my head at the memory I wish never happened. "But no, I don't hate her. I forgave her just like I forgave him and moved on with my life. They say forgive and forget, but you can never really forget."
Another hour passed until the questioning was over. When the questioning ended I was moved into another room to complete a book signing. With only three more people in line, Aurelia decided she wanted to start crying until she was walked over to me by Luna. A frown was set upon my lips as I stared at Aurelia constantly wiping her tears with one hand while her aunt held her other hand.
"She won't stop crying." Luna frowned, releasing Aurelia's hand.
"Come here mama's cry baby," I chuckled at my attempt at a baby's voice.
To my surprise Luna looked almost identical to me at the age of twelve. Skinny, tall, curly hair, and very light skin. We even have the same lip shape. The only things different is her eye color and nose shape.
I wonder if she really will be the Majesty 2.0.
I put Aurelia in my lap. She straddled me, laying her head in the crook of my neck. Her soft breathing tickled my neck each time she exhaled. Smiling softly, I apologized to the man in front of me and signed his book. When the brown skin girl appeared in front of me with her book in her hands I had to contain myself from rolling my eyes.
"Hey Majesty," Keiara spoke nervously.
"Hi." Taking the cap off of my pen, I quickly signed my name in her book.
"You know, I never got to ask you this question..."
Shutting her book and putting my pen down, I stared up at her. She watched me as I securely wrapped my arms around my daughter.
"What- what made you even want to associate with Alex?"
"He was very... intriguing."
Pursing her lips, she nodded. "I miss you, but I wish you nothing but the best Maj."
"Thank you," I smiled. "Same to you and your little family."
I finished the last of the signings after Keiara left. I wonder what made her even want to come here. Is it because she thought she'd get attention from my autobiography? Maybe, maybe not.
Or was it to try and flaunt her happy (I assume) marriage in my face?
Sighing, I stood up carefully with a sleeping Aurelia in my arms. Javier offered to take her but I knew handing her off to someone else would only wake her.
With a heavy mind, I decided to go straight to the back of the building where my driver awaited. My heels clicked on the golden marble flooring of the large open space area. Usually the room would be full every day, considering it is the lobby of a conference room in New York.
Once taking the elevator down to the ground level, I pushed the glass doors that led to outside and began to hurry due to the harsh winds.
"Miss Collins!" A feminine voice shrieked. "Miss Collins!"
Stopping in my tracks, I turned on my heels to see a brunette dressed in a suit and holding her reporter hat down on her head. In the other hand she held a magazine and tape recorder.
My eyes switched from the tape recorded and fixed onto her forest green eyes. With caution, I asked, "yes?"
"I'm sorry for bothering you," she apologized when she realized I was a bit cautious of her. "I just- I wanted to give you this magazine. I happened to pick up the first and only copy at a stand." She held the magazine towards me. "It's not supposed hit stands until next Monday, so I just felt as if you should be the only one with a copy besides the actual companies."
I slowly took the magazine out of her hand with a small smile on my face. Thanking her, I then got in the backseat of the black Mercedes with tinted windows. "Hey Tim," I greeted with a smile. I buckled Aurelia into her car seat before shutting the back door and buckling myself in also. Once comfortable enough, I set my gaze on the magazine in my lap.
Woman of the Year.
All of my trials and tribulations earned me that title. It also earned me a spot on one of the best magazines with my daughter, who I love to death.
"Hello, Miss Collins." His British accent rang through my ears. "Off to home next?"
"House of Konfuzed actually," I corrected, "then home."
I of course refuse to live in the house Alex and I once shared. It held too many memories for me to handle. But it also had too many memories to let go of. Instead of just tearing the place down, I decided to open it up as a museum. Alex's art is all over the walls and he has even discussed how he wants his art to be shown one day. Although he's no longer on this earth anymore, I still granted his wish.
I'll never forget while we were in Iceland and I first saw his art without knowing it was him.
He went by Alex, Breezy and Konfuzed all within his lifetime. Possibly more.
Staring out of the window, I watched as rain began to fall from the sky and trickle down the window, giving an illusion of tears. "Tim?"
"Yes, Miss Collins?"
"Do you ever think about him?" I sniffed.
"Of course I do," he replied. "Mr. Turner provided me with a job when I first moved to America."
"Is it bad that I miss him?" I inquired with a stray tear escaping my right eye.
"I honestly don't know, because sometimes I miss him also."
The car then became silent. The only exception were the light snores that left Aurelia's lips every now and then.
The rain began to fall harder, almost making it impossible to see. Yet, it made me feel relaxed as my mind drifted away, thinking about the small baggy put away in my night stand at home.
If anyone ever asked me if I believe Alexander was my soulmate, I'd say yes in a heartbeat.
A soulmate is not someone who fits your perfect description. It's not someone who you have a perfect bond with. He is my soulmate, but just because someone is your soulmate doesn't mean you'll be together forever. Humans are made to make mistakes. Mistakes can drive your soulmate away. Sometimes soulmates aren't meant to be forever. They'll bring something into your life that you were missing. I have something to remind me of my love. Half of him and half of me in one.
My favorite author once said, "And in the end, we were all just humans... drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness."
•••
That's the end of Black Rose. Just wow; I started this book at the beginning of my senior year and it just happened to end at the end of my year also.
I know this probably isn't the end a lot of you imagined. You imagined a happy ending, but that idea was thrown out of the window a loooong time ago if you didn't notice. Had to make it realistic and not basic.
Thank you for the positive feedback and also thank you for 318k reads. 💕
Although this book has ended, a new one has begun. I will be posting the first chapter of my new book Gardens of the Night soon. Please check that out and support it when it drops.