*Alexandrielle's POV*
Tossing, turning, groaning, panting... I can't rest. Zach's words couldn't leave my mind, his pain is something so afflictive; making me feel as if it's my own.
When I had asked him that hanging question, he just said a simple "I have to protect you". It didn't really answer the question which leaves me so frustrated when he so stubbornly won't tell me. He just excused himself to do something in his office which is just an excuse to escape me. I mean, the pain that he finally showed is so intense so I can't really blame him if he can't take seeing people in his vulnerable times. It's just in his nature but I still don't like it. Can't he actually just tell me because obviously, I deserve to know the truth. I've been kept in the dark for so long and I won't have any of that anymore.
Groaning in the pillow, I was surprised when the cold never seeps in. Maybe it's already tired of bothering me?
Laying on my stomach, a sudden wave of anxiety coursed through me. Gripping the sheets tight, I feel my muscles rippling into something a keen to transform. My lungs constricted as air became like a suffocation for me, it gets harder the more I try to take deep breaths in. My head pounded and something lurched painfully in my lower abdomen.
I relaxed when I heard Zach's footsteps approach, pass through my door and into the next room from mine. Immediately, I scurried to the headboard which is attached to the wall between Zach and I. His breathing calmed me down and all discomfort washed down the drain.
Sighing in relief, I brought my knees to my chest. It's been nights since Zach had started this routine. Because of my nightmares, his other side is demanding him to be as close to me as possible, which is something I am against because I don't trust him. But whenever we're far from each other, I would always feel that uneasiness and discomfort and it only goes away if Zach is near. So as a solution, he goes to the next room besides mine; his breathing and soft hummings are my lullaby to sleep at night.
I strained my ear when I didn't hear anything from the other side. Pressing my ear to the wall, I hear a faint cry and a sniffle. Is he...is he crying?
My heart ached for him, my other side wanted to comfort him but my anger towards him stopped her. I couldn't just give way that fast to him. Just like him, I have felt great pain...and I am not going to let it be an excuse for doing such sin.
A hard intake of breath was heard, as if even a single breath is such a painful process for him to do.
A shuffling noise was heard from the other side and I hear him get off of the bed. His footsteps carried him away and a whimper escaped my mouth, already, I'm needing his nearness.
After what seemed like forever, I heard his faint hummings that lulled me to sleep. When I was half-way asleep, a singing voice reached my ears.
Can't blame you for thinking💦
That you don't know me at all👀
I tried to deny you💋
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong✘
I though I was protecting you✋
From everything that I go through↭
But I know we got lost along the way➡
Here I am with all my heart❤
I hope you understand👐
I know I let you down👎
But I'm not gonna make♩
That same mistake again✘♪
You brought me closer◁
To who I really am👤
Come take my hand👫
I want the world to see
What you mean to me💑
"What you really are... to me"