Loneliness.
Pain.
Sorrow.
The only feelings I feel.
They bring me food, but I don't touch it.
He doesn't want me.
He hasn't come for me in at least a week.
I feel weak, but i don't care.
I stink. And my hair is greezy, but I don't care.
Why should I care when I have nothing and no one to live for. I thought he would be my life, but I was wrong. I don't blame him. I know I am just a wolf a rogue. I will never be able to please him or his pack in any way. Strength I don't have and fighting skills are only for self-defense. I may be able to defend myself, but only because Arthur told me a thing or two.
Arthur...
***
I ran as fast as I could without looking back. I thought I had out run him, but that clearly wasn't the case. Soon I was pushed to the ground and he landed on top of me. I whiner, but once I saw his blue eyes looking into mine my wolf and I purred.
He went off of me and went to change behind a wall. I did the same and when I got back he was standing there with his eyes watching my every move.
'I wish you were my mate. You are so damn beautiful and smart in every way,' he said not letting his eyes leave mine. He hugged me and I hugged him back, enjoying his embrace. 'I never thought I would say something like this, but I love you.'
Shocked!
I never thought that someone who isn't my mate would do something like that, say something like that.
All i did is hold him tight and cry. I cried my eyes out, because his words meant somuch to me and I felt the same way, but I didn't say it back.
After that day I never saw him again and I started hating him.
He just left me all alone without saying goodbye.
I waited for his return for two years, but he never came back.
***
I slowly wipe my tears away and make sure I breath in and out to calm myself down. Either the people I care about die or they just leave themselves.
'Hey, you okay?,' someone asks.
I look up to see a tall dark guy who I have never seen before in my entire life. I nod slowly and he opens the door of the cell.
'The Alpha wants to see you.'
If I would say that I am not happy about it, I would be lying. He walks beside me and doesn't say anything further.
We walk through the town where all the wolves have their own houses and it feels like we have been walking for hours and the fact that everyone is starring at me doesn't really help either.
Their looks all say "beast". Wait until they find out I am their Luna. Wow. How amazed will they be? They will probably never accept me and since I am weak I can't fight them. Even the teenagers like me look ten times stronger than me. How can I be a Luna? Their Luna?
We stop infront of a big, old building and he knocks on the door. The door is opened by a tanned guy who has the same posture as the dark guy next to me. Warriors!
They both walk me towards the hall. It is kind of creepy. Just a dark brown hall with a wooden floor and four doors. Two on the right, two on the left and one at the end of the hall. Like this is some cliche story we walk to the door at the end of the hall. The tanned guy opens the door and the smell of my mate lingers in the air. Like he has been here, but isn't here right now.
'Take a seat. The Alpha will be right with you,' the tanned guy says and they both leave the room, although I am sure that they are right infront of the door. As if I will be leaving anytime soon. Right...
I close my eyes and let the silence suit me. The door opens and his scent fills the room completely.
He doesn't say a word. He walks towards his desk and sits on his chair. He looks at some paper on the desk and then he raises his face to me. His eyes go right through me.
We sit there in silence and it feels like it takes forever for him to say something. Fist things first... What am I doing here?
He swallows hard and he looks at me.
He stands up and goes with his hand through his hair.
'Don't look at me like that,' he says.
'Like what?,' I ask biting my lip.
'Like that! You're making it harder for me.'
Harder? What am I making harder?
Is he going to reject me? Is that why we are alone. Oh shit! Please don't, don't do this to me.
'Alpha, what am I doing here?,' I ask softly and scared.
'I don't know. I can't take it anymore.'
'What can't you take?,' I ask. I am either really stupid or he isn't really being precise.
'You! I can't stand being away from you! Your scent is driving me crazy when I am away from you,' he says looking me straight in the eyes again.
I look at him in shock. What is he talking about? He made it very clear that his wolf is the only one who kind of accepted me. Why is he suddenly saying things like this.
'I can't stop thinking about you! Your scent, when I am near you... It calms me down,' he says taking a few steps closer to me. He pulls me up and I just stand there looking at him in full confusion. 'Please, please let me touch you,' he almost begs me. As if he needs to ask me that. He holds me close and I love the warmth of his body around me.
'You can always keep me with you,' I whisper before I can stop myself from saying something like that. I can't help it.
He sighs and shakes his head.
'You are the Alpha aren't you? You can do whatever you want,' I remind him and suddenly his bright eyes snap up at me.
'What did you say?'
One word... Options.
Suddenly he lifts me up like he always does as if I am little girl and start walking towards the door.
'I accept any challengers,' he says angry. I look at him and I am completely lost.
Don't listen to me! I am sick and insane! Oh shit! What have I gotten myself into?
Before I know it he opens the door and the two warriors look at us as if something wrong and insane is happening.
'I'll take it from here,' he tells them. The bow their heads and walk away.
I am shocked when he walks out of the building with me and just places me in his car, in front this time. Everyone who sees me in the car frowns and I just try to slide down more so I can't be seen, but my smell says it all.
He drives to the packhouse as fast as he can and lifts me out of the car again. He walks with me into the packhouse causing everyone that sees us to freeze in place.
'Roma!,' the Alpha yells.
One of the woman walks up to us with a small smile as she looks at me. She is the one who bet on me being marked before the second months is over, meaning in twenty-four days, I think.
'Alpha?'
'Make her some food. What would you like?,' he says to her and than asks me.
'Anything,' I say snuggling myself into his chest.
'Well... Make her something simple then,' he says looking at me.
He walks with me towards the stairs and stops when he sees Cindy walking down the stairs in shock.
'Cindy, didn't I forbid you from coming here?,' he says more than he asks walking passed her as if she isn't anything important.
'I was just checking if I left anything of mine,' she says trying to make me jealous.
'No, everything is already brought to your room,' he says. Her face drops and I force myself not to chuckle.
He walks me to a door and opens it. I am amazed by the room. It has white walls, white curtains, white sheets, a white couch and the rest is wood. He walks with me to the bed and places me on it softly. Everything in here smells like him, no scent of her. He must have taken care of that on purpose.
He walks towards a door and I can hear him turn on a pipe. The smell of lavender fills the air and I pur by the smell of it.
'You like it?,' he asks with a smile walking towards me.
I nod slowly.
'Besides your annoying rogue smell, that is what you smell like,' he says. I look at him in shock. He said he couldn't smell me. There is a knock on the door.
'Come in,' the Alpha says.
Roma walks in with a plate of all sorts of foodies. She bows her head at the Alpha and hands it to me and places the glass of water on the nightstand.
'Thank you,' I say.
'No problem, Luna,' she says telling me that she is on MY side and making sure the Alpha knows she isn't challenging him on this. I have a strong feeling no one will challenge him.
She goes away again, closing the door behind her. I eat everything slowly and he just stands there watching me.
'I have some things to do. Eat, take a bath and rest. I won't be back untill late,' he tells me heading for the door.
'Wait... Be back? We are sharing a room?,' I ask totally lost.
'No, we share a room, a bed and a bathroom.'
I look at him as if he is crazy and all he does is smile.
'Why can't I have my own room?,' I ask.
'Because you are a rogue and rogues don't get what they want,' he says with a grin leaving the room.
I eat my plate empty and walk towards the bathroom. The closer I come to it, the more I smell the sweet lavender scent. Do I really smell like that? I open the door and I am a bit shocked. There are candles lit here and there and the bath is already ready for me. On the counter there are two towels. There is a bottle of body wash and shampoo all with lavender scent and a pile of cloths, his cloths. They will never fit, but I guess that is the point.
I slowly take off my cloths for the first time since I got here and I am happy that it doesn't hurt that much anymore. The medicine Maria and Nala gave me helped a lot with the pain and healing process. Once I am naked, I step into the warm water and relax for the first time after years. I have never been in a bathtub before since all we had was a shower.
I let the smell and the warm water against my skin relax me even more and I close my eyes. After a while when the water is getting cold I shampoo my now growing short tomboyish hair and step out of the water. I pull the plug so the water can drain and dry my hair and body. My back I pet dry since I am scared to hurt myself. I am pretty sure I can't hurt anymore, but still. I take a look at the cloths. A boxer, his boxer that I know won't fit and a t-shirt from him. I put it on rolling the boxer so it becomes shorter and tighter and his shirt comes to my mid thigh. I blow out the candles and walk into the bedroom again. I look at the clock on the wall... 20:37.
I sigh and walk around a bit. I see a next door in the room an decide to open it. I am shocked when I find a huge walk-in. On the left there are his cloths. Pants, shirts, button ups and then.. tuxedos. Oh my goddess! I need to see him in one of those.
The right is empty. Her cloths were probably there or maybe not. I don't really want to know... Well, yes I do. But for now I am happy that I don't have to sleep on the cold floor in a cell in that dark place.
I sigh again and walk out. I walk towards the window and look at the sky. Suddenly my eyes fall on the wolves far in the woods. It looks like they are training or taking patrols. How am I ever going to be Luna and who says he wants me as Luna? Maybe he just wants to playaround a bit and when he is tired of me. He will reject me and send me away.
I back away and look around. This is getting boring and I am not sleepy. I walk towards the door of the bedroom and open it slowly. I slowly make my way through the hall and find a huge living room on the right and on the left next to his bedroom is the kitchen. It looks amazing, but my eyes fall on the grand piano in the middle of the room. It is huge and black. I walk over to it slowly. I look around first before sitting down.
***
The little girl listens to the melodies played by her mother on the keyboard.
'Mommy, where did you learn to play like that?,' the little girl asks.
'When I was very small, just like you. My father thought me to play. He was way better than me though,' her mother chuckled.
'I want to learn,' the little girl says.
The mother opened her arms and the little girl ran to her. While sitting on her lap, her small hands on her mother's hands, they played. They played together.
She was so happy. Way too happy
***
I look at the piano with tears in my eyes. Mom, I miss you.
I place my hands on the piano, but don't dare to play. I get back up and make my way to the bedroom. I run to the bed and cry myself to sleep.
I want to die!
***
I snuggle into the pillow more as I hear the door open and close. Heavy footsteps are around in the room, but there is no way that I am opening my eyes. I hear him go into the bathroom and turn on the shower. It doesn't bother me. The warmth of this bed is amazing and I am not giving it up for the world.
Not long after he comes out his scent following him as if he has washed it more on himself. The bed next to me dips in and that is when I open my eyes in shock.
I look at the door with my back towards him and I hear him sigh. Every part of my body wants to go and snuggle up to him, but maybe he doesn't want that. Maybe he won't like it and push me from the bed. So I just lay there, still, not making a sound, pretending to sleep. I can feel him move, but I have no idea which side he moved too.
It is when I feel his hand on my waist that is shrug and jump up.
'What's wrong?,' he asks angry.
I don't know why, but for a second I thought he wanted to hurt me. Kill me even. I hate what my father has done to me.
'You're my mate. I just want to hold you when you sleep,' he says softly trying to calm me down.
I nod and slowly lay back down. He puts his hand on my waist again as sparks fly through my body again. Not that I am getting sick of it. It feels amazing.
He slowly pulls me towards him and I lay absolutely still as I feel his chest touching my back. I sure hope he is wearing a pants. I don't want to be feeling other stuff.
'Do you always have your hair this short?,' he asks sleepy.
I think about the reason why I cut it and push the tears away.
'No, I had long hair till my butt, but my father used to pull me by my hair so I cut it so he can't do it anymore,' I say sniffing.
'Don't worry. You are save with me,' he says and soon after that I can feel his tense body relax and I realize he has fallen asleep.
His words flow through my brain and all I can do is smile.
Don't worry. You are save with me...
Hello my fellow watt patters.
I kind of went all in on this one.
Hope you like it...
Updating soon. Love yall