*TRIGGER WARNING*: Suicide themes
Quick question: Do you believe Salma is a strong person? (It'd be great if you give reasons)
Vote and Comment as you read.
"He can go to any lengths, once he gets obsessed with something," Will's warning echoed in her head. "And by any lengths, I mean it literally, he'd do anything! Put nothing past him."
A shiver raked her spine, shaking her to her very soul. She needed to get away from.
"Bee?"
Salma snapped out of her trance and rushed past him.
"Hey!" Zayn called, hurrying after her. "Bee wait!"
Salma yanked her arm when she felt his fingers wrapping around her elbow.
"Don't - don' touch me!" she said, her voice hoarse and shaky.
Zayn seemed taken aback by the sudden shift in her. She pulled her coat closer around her, clenching her fists to stop her fingers from shaking.
"Bee, it's just graffiti, why are you --"
"I don't want to talk about it," Salma barely whispered.
"Why, because I told you I liked you?
Salma stayed quiet, feeling her gut clench with unease. Zayn removed his beanie, running a frustrated hand through his hair before putting it back. Both his hands had paint on them, and it was not hard to tell that it were the exact shades he had used on the wall.
"Is there a chance though?" he asked, sounding agitated.
"What?"
"Do I stand a chance," Zayn asked, looking her in the eye, "with you?"
Salma's stomach churned with anxiety, making her curl her toes in her shoes. She felt like she would throw up any minute.
"I don't want to talk about this." Shelooked away, her skin crawled.
"Why not? Why can't I Io-"
"Don't, just don't!
"So a guy can't like you?"
"I said stop it!"
"You're reacting like a small child! Why does the idea of being loved scare you so much?"
"I don't care what you think!" Salma snapped, fighting back tears. "I just don't want to talk about this! I don't want you around me. I don't want to hear from you. I don't trust you! End of story!"
She could see a muscle in Zayn's jaw tick. He narrowed his eyes, clearly offended.
"Why don't you pick a narrative and stick to it!" he said viciously. "This is not what you were saying ten minutes ago!"
As her panic level rose, so did her frustration.
"You said we were chased by criminals, Harris, cold-blooded murderers. Between you and them I said I trusted you and you question it? Are you as bad as them?"
"For you," Zayn said through gritted teeth. "I might as well be!"
Salma scoffed, blinking back tears. Why the hell was she just seconds away from crying again?!
"Then why does it surprise you that I don't want you around me?"
"And why does it surprise you that I won't let you go?" Zayn countered.
Salma's eyes flashed in anger. He all but confirmed the fact that there was no 'them'. He was them!
"You do what you want, I'll do everything to protect myself!"
He laughed.
"Man . . . If I were to start doing what I wanted to do --"
Zayn stopped himself but Salma had already caught on. Unnerved, she stepped away from him. The heel of her boot struck against the door like the blast of a canon in the quiet. Zayn grabbed her arm, jerking her away from the door.
"Stop making noise!" he seethed.
"Let go! What do you think you're doing?!"
Zayn froze.
"I said let go!" Salma repeated, pulling free and taking a step away from him.
"Your hand," he said, his eyes still fixed on her injured finger that had now swollen fatter than her thumb.
Salma attempted to hide it behind her back but Zayn had already grabbed her wrist.
"Let go, Zayn!" Salma tugged. Zayn tightened his grip.
"Stop being unreasonable! You might have a broken bone!"
"There's nothing you can do about it! Stop touching me!"
Salma yanked at her hand violently. He quickly let loose but he was already too late. Megawatts of excruciating pain exploded through her little finger as it wriggled through Zayn's grasp. An anguished cry escaped her lips. Blinded by the agony, Salma sank to her knees, clutching her throbbing hand to her chest.
The world around her turned to haze. Sobbing uncontrollably, she writhed in pain. Salma desperately tried to soothe her searing finger but it felt like her whole hand was about to drop off. She felt a gentle grab on her arms. Zayn was apologizing.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, let me see --"
"Leave me alone!" Salma screamed through her cries of pain, shrugging him off. Mildly aware that her behavior was uncalled for, Salma shooed the considerate thought away and got to her feet. She was too mad at him to care as of now.
"Bee --"
Salma shrugged away. Wiping her eyes as she reach for the door. Zayn's hand on the handle stopped her.
"You can't leave!" he said.
Salma gritted her teeth.
"Zayn, I swear don't push me anymore!" Salma warned, sniffing as she did so.
"I - no, you can't leave because --"
"Because what?"
"Isn't it obvious?!"
"That you're trying to hold me hostage?"
"I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU ALIVE!"
"ARE YOU?!" Salma countered, clenching her teeth once more as her finger seared in pain.
"What the. . ?" Zayn's lips parted, looking at a loss for words. "What's wrong with you? What else do you think - Bee, I --"
"You what?" Salma raised a brow, as tears of pain streamed down her face. "You didn't think I would question why is it that I'm attracting danger when I do this!" she kicked the door, letting an explosion tear through the quiet night air. Zayn cursed, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the door. Salma yanked her arm out of his hold again. "And yet, no danger is alerted when you yell at me?"
"Are you out of your mind?!" Zayn fumed. He stepped around her, standing guard in front of the door.
Salma angrily wiped at her eyes, sniffing again. She had to be able to see him properly and breathe clearly. He was obviously not going to just let her go and Salma wouldn't go down without a fight.
"Me?" she replied harshly. "Not sure about that, but you I'm sure of!"
Zayn features hardened, catching the venom in her tone.
A slicing pain pierced through her finger.
"You're a sick, cruel person and I will not be a part of your wicked games anymore!" Salma spat at him.
Something akin to pain flashed across his face. Salma regretted the harsh words the moment they left her lips, but alas, she could not take them back.
"I see," he almost whispered, "That stinking curly has told you tales about me, hasn't he?"
Salma stiffened, shocked by his sudden and accurate guess.
"Is that what he was doing, when you lot cosied up outside his department?"
Salma stared at him wide-eyed, numbed to a silence by her shock. How did he know about any of that?
"What're you -"
Zayn's mirthless laughter cut her off, making chills run down Salma's spine. There was a drastic shift in Zayn's demeanor from earlier and it made her blood run cold with fear. He shook his head in bitter amusement walking away from her.
"I prefer to keep a close eye on the people I love," Zayn informed her with smug smile that did not quite reach his eyes, "Especially those that are in terrible danger,"
As pain pulsed through the bones in her injured finger, Salma clenched her teeth in anger and anguish alike.
"You should keep an eye on yourself then!" she retorted. "So far, the only danger to me has been you!"
Zayn smiled bitterly taking a seat on the step next to the door, reminding Salma of a guard dog keeping people away from a gate. Eyeing the door, Salma felt scared for her life. If he was really the one behind the whole 'kidnapping' scenario, perhaps she should not have provoked him like that.
"Scared much?" Zayn quirked a brow, perching his arm up his knees. The fear in her eyes continued to egg on his aggravation, "So how much did he tell you? Did he shed some light on his own sorry ass or was I the sole villain in the fairy tale?"
Salma chose not to reply. Zayn scoffed at her silence.
"I see, I was the only one. Understandable," Zayn muttered, tilting his head, feigning contemplation, "And of course you believed every word of it, did you not?"
Salma fixed him with a hard glare. His mocking golden brown eyes stared back at her calmly. There was something devilish about his expression.
"Do you have anything to add for yourself?" Salma asked instead, mocking a calm, interested tone that was miles away from the panic she was trying to hold in.
"Oh yes!" Zayn smiled ruefully. "Yes, indeed. Most definitely. Take a seat. Come on."
Clutching her throbbing hand to chest, Salma attempted to cover the fact that her legs were shaking by rolling her eyes and perching on the ledge. So long as she was at a safe distance and had time to think of a way out, keeping him engaged like this seemed like the only option.
"I would like to add . . ." Zayn trailed off, pulling something out of the pocket of his jacket, "A little perspective . . ."
Salma watched him twiddle with what looked like a sharp tool; something similar to a scalpel.
"A look inside the monster's head. How would you like that?" He continued.
Her heart beat accelerated. She did not like the poisonous, silky tone of his voice. Zayn smiled when she did not reply. A cold smile, that made him look demonic.
"How about we recreate the scene, hmm?" Zayn said softly, making her skin crawl, "How about I show you exactly -" He started undoing the button on his sleeve, "-what happened that night?"
Salma's heart jumped out of her ribcage when he started rolling his sleeve back.
"No -"
"Oh hush!" Zayn interfered in the same sickly soft tone, "Don't look so scared. I play Lenny tonight -"
Salma got on her feet as cold, undiluted fear coursed through her veins.
"Zayn don't -"
"You . . ." Zayn continued, "Bee, You play Zayn."
"Zayn, please!" Salma pleaded, blinking back terrified tears, "Please, Zayn --"
He placed the sharp blade on his sensitive veins making her gasp. Salma's lungs froze over refusing to fill with enough air. Her breathing became shallow and painful as she panicked. He looked up to meet her terrified eyes.
"Zayn, don't! Please, Zayn -"
"Let's see what you do when you walk in my shoes." He tried to smile but failed. "See if you like what I went through? Or would you be better than - what was it?"
"Zayn --"
"Ah, yes - a sick, cruel person?"
Salma started crying.
"Please, please don't do this!"
"Now, I ask what she asked me," He continued, not looking away, "Do you love me back, or do you not?"
Salma's heart clenched painfully. She bit on her quivering lip as tears ran down her cheeks.
Scoffing, Zayn arched his elbow up.
"NO! Zayn, don't!"
A slow, miserable smirk appeared on his lips. Salma found herself standing a few feet away from him, sobbing uncontrollably. Without even realizing it she had ran towards him.Her trembling hands raised up, reaching out to him, silently asking him to stop this madness.
"Please!" she begged him, "Please stop it, Zayn!"
"Do you?"
"Please . . ."
"I said, do you?!"
"I -"
Her voice cracked. She felt her heart stab with intense pain as if sliced by a hundred knives. Salma thought she would collapse.Her knees were too weak to hold her anymore. Even though her vision was blurred by tears, she still saw the decisive shift in Zayn's expressions. His shook his head infinitesimally, edging his elbow up, ready to snipe. Salma panicked, leaping towards his hands.
"I DO!" She screamed, grabbing his hands, "I Do . . ."
Zayn froze as he felt the soft touch of her fingers around his wrists. She was trying to push his hands away from each other.
"I . . . I do!" she cried bitterly. "I - just . . . Please, don't --!"
Salma broke down completely. Her whole body rake with heart wrenching sobs, of shame, of humiliation, of being stripped away of her honor, her dignity.
She let go of him when she felt his hands going limp. Not able to look at him, Salmapushed away on all fours, trying to stifle the pathetically loud cries thatescaped her lips. She curled up into a ball against the ledge behind the vent,shielding herself away from his daunting golden-brown eyes.
Zayn stayed quiet for a while. His eyes fixed on the tool in his hand as his thumb traced against its pointed end.
"Fun, wasn't it?" Salma heard him ask, "I wonder if Curly told you how absolutely fun that night was for me? Watching someone that claims to love you, put a blade to end their life,"
Salma threw him a frightened glance. She wrapped her arms tighter around her knees while her body shook with involuntary hiccups.
"That, my dear Bee, was a glimpse inside my head. Pain . . ." He continued, "It's a horrible emotion to feel. Sucks the life right out of you. "What you experienced right now, is a casual taste of being me. . .of being Zayn,"
He paused for a moment, making the piercing silence press against her ear drums while she cried quietly at the foot of the ledge, feeling terrified of the calm, bland tone of his voice.
"I see you're confused," Zayn guessed, "Let me explain, then."
Salma's heart sank. She did not want to hear any more explanations of his 'perspective'. She wanted to get out of this seclusion with him. She just wanted to jump off of this roof and run. Run away, run far away from him.
"I never told her I didn't love her," he began. "She had a knife to her wrist just like I did, and I figured she was about to kill herself just like you did. She demanded a clear answer, one last time. I panicked and decided to say it, but she saw right through my lie long before I'd even utter the words." Zayn clenched his fists, his tone getting more and more bitter as his anger started to surge again. "She got her answer before I could even open my mouth. She already knew the truth and had her mind set on punishing me and I realized that. So, instead of lying to her like you lied to my face, I was only able to scream the word 'no!' begging her to stop, and she just did it anyway --"
Zayn stopped abruptly. He looked away, blinking rapidly to ease the sting in his eyes. Clenching and un-clenching his fists, he tried to control his sudden anger but to no avail. He was on his feet before he realized it.
"I did everything to save her life that that shitty cousin of yours didn't!" Zayn bellowed, making Salma cower in panic. "You had no right to judge me so harshly! You don't know shit about me! You --"
Zayn turned away from her, leaning against the door with his palms pressed against the smooth metal. He put his head in the crook of his arm, his breathing was ragged. He tried to calm down but the knowledge that he had already gone past the point of no return where Salma was concerned, kept riling him up.
Salma just kept edging away from him. She was horrified, traumatized and humiliated. Through her panic, she barely understood half of what he was saying.
Zayn watched her miserably, wanting to help her get away from him and not able to, at the same time. He sank to the floor, feeling defeated. There was a long pause, punctuated only by Salma's sobs that she tried to quieten and kept failing to do so.
"I like to believe I used to have a bit of human in me," He muttered, his eyes downcast, "A shard of your goodness, because I tried to save her too. I wasn't born a monster that you think of me. I became one."
Zayn threw her a pained glance before looking away.
"It doesn't take long to get from there," He pointed at her with the tool he still had in his hands, "To here,"
He pointed at himself.
"There's only so many times before you can't fight the pain anymore, so many times before someone breaking your trust . . . just breaks you," Zayn swallowed, poking his bare arm with the blade of the tool, making Salma gasp in alarm despite herself.
Zayn looked up to meet her startled gaze, her eyes were raw from crying.
"This ain't harmful, by the way," He shrugged, poking his arm with the tool again, "I'd be surprised if it can cut through butter, let alone human skin,'
It took Salma's traumatized mind some time to allow the meaning behind his words. Her blood boiled over, realizing his stunt earlier was just an act? A farce to have her humiliate herself?!
"YOU LOWLIFE!"
Salma fierce roar echoed across the walls, sounding foreign to her own ears. She hurled the first thing she could land her hands on towards him. Zayn barely flinched at her boot hit him squarely on the shoulder before bouncing back.
"YOU FILTHY, COWARDLY, DESPICABLE CREATURE -!" Salma's voice broke, choking on her own tears, "HO-HOW D-DARE . . . HOW DARE Y-YOU!"
Salma held onto the ledge as her body trembled with sobs and fury alike. Zayn just sat against the door across from her, fiddling with the tool.
"Anger," He sighed, tossing the tool aside, "See what I mean about someone breaking you trust ending up breaking you?"
"Y-YOU PSYCHOPATH!" Salma raged on.
"I didn't plan to do any of that," Zayn shrugged, his gaze firmly fixed on the floor, "Sad, isn't it? That you have to stoop so low just to get a point across,"
Salma glared at him, too enraged to manage an insult in reply. Her nails were just itching to claw his face to bits.
"You're seconds away from attacking me," Zayn guess again, and quite accurately too, "Memorize this feeling. . . And imagine living it every second of your day."
He finally raised his infuriating caramel colored eyes to meet hers brown ones that were spitting fire.
"That's me," He concluded.
Zayn noticed her freeze where she stood.
"One enraged man, walking around with a searing pain in his heart, having witnessed his brother like friend half beaten to death, another attempting suicide because she fell for his sorry ass, to a part of his life breathing her last in his arms -" His voice cracked and his eyes pricked as his grandma's pale, lifeless face swam before his eyes, "Do you think he'd have enough human left in him to care? Do you honestly believe he'd give a shit about anything?"
Zayn clenched his fists against the pain in his heart that threatened to rip him from inside. He fought against it, trying his best not to break.
"The answer's no," Zayn said, his voice hoarse, "But perhaps he did, to have found a girl he loved, to want to change . . . to wish to make her laugh, to earn her trust, just a chance at being happy . . . a chance at love . . ."
Salma bit hard on the inside of her cheek, as tears streamed down her face. She had no idea how much more she could take before her heart would burst.
". . . and failing terribly at it all," Zayn finished, quietly, "This Bee, is hopelessness and I hope you never have to taste it. This is what makes you a monster that I am. A cruel, despicable psychopath, that cold and brutal creature that you had to deal with in the past months. Who tried to change, for you, but clearly, he failed."
Author's Note:
I'm sorry! T_T. To anyone who's disturbed by what happened, I apologize. I don't know if I should let this chapter stay, really. It wasn't like this originally. Zayn was just gonna ask her out, and she was going to refuse, and that's how things would go, but remember last year I told you I lost my plot sketch for upcoming chapters because my files were hacked? Yeah, I totally forgot how this scene went, and I had to recreate it.
Then this came to me about a week ago. I believe I mentioned it in the A/N or a comment in the previous chapters. Can you believe it, the following comment brought this scene to me.
If I can recall the previous conversation, and if the feedback says so, I think I'll take this scene out because no one deserves this kind of mental torture, even if it's just a fictional character. The 'idea' of it disturbs me, and it's disturbing that 'I' am the one who came up with it. It's sick, really.
Having said that, the response to the previous chapter was OVERWHELMING to say the least! I don't know how you managed to pull out so many comments and it still upsets me to know that I was late to the party :P
Anyway, top commentators: Captain Onyx kept cruising and you can't even guess how high she rode. A freaking FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY COMMENTS!
(add a few more but I stopped at 420 xD)
Here's the weird bit, Maryam stands second with 264 comments, but if we add the 164 replies that I'm still counting she has 428 and she take onyx's crown x'D
Maria stood third with 147 initial comments +17 replies.
Now that the babies have hopefully calmed you down, Vote, Comment and Share!
I'll posting the next chapter for my Patrons tomorrow. So become a Patron at https://www.patreon.com/BrekhnaJohar to read it before everybody else ☺️
Lots of Love!
J.