thank you all sooo much for reading everyone!!! It means so much :D
And please comment!! I love hearing what you think!!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
After we had eaten pancakes, Joey drove me home.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" he asked as we sat in his car outside Maggie's house. I smiled and nodded, squeezing his hand.
"I think it's better for her to talk to me alone." I said, "But thank you."
He nodded and smiled as I kissed him on the cheek and got out of the car. I waved as he drove away, and then turned to face the house.
I took a deep breath and walked forwards. As I opened the door I called Maggie's name tentatively.
"I'm in the living room.. Aliana." Maggie called, hesitating near the end of her sentence as if she had forgotten my name. I stiffened slightly as I closed the door behind me. She never called me Aliana.
I walked down the hall and into the living room, looking around the room as I walked in. Maggie was standing at the window, biting her nails.
"Maggie? You okay?" I asked, concerned. I walked over to her, placing my hand uncertainly upon her shoulder. She turned her head to look at me, and I was startled to see that she was crying.
"Mags? What's wrong?" I asked, quickly wrapping my arms around her. She buried her head in my shoulder and started to sob. I hugged her tightly, at a loss for what to do.
"Al-Ali-Aliana, I don't know what to do," Maggie said in between her sobs.
"Come on, into the kitchen. I'll make you some tea." I said, leading her into the kitchen and making her sit down.
I put the kettle on and grabbed a cup and a tea bag before turning back to face Maggie, who was trying futilely to wipe away her tears. It reminded me a bit of myself from the night before.
I set down the tea and sat in front of her, watching her anxiously. She picked up the cup with shaking hands and took a very small sip, before placing it back down.
"Maggie? Can you tell me what's wrong..?" I asked gently.
She looked up at me, her eyes still full of tears. She took a deep breath and nodded, as though preparing for something. "Aliana... I- I went to the doctors a few days ago.." she began, her voice hardly more than a whisper. I frowned slightly and leaned forwards so I could hear her. "I didn't think there was anything serious wrong with me.."
I started to panic quietly. Was there something wrong with her?
"I just kept.. Forgetting things. Just simple things at first, like what was going to be on television, or what the season finale of 'Cougar Town' had been about.. But then I started forgetting more, like what time you would be home at, or sometimes I would even forget that you're staying with me.."
My stomach clenched painfully. I was beginning to get an idea of what she was trying to say. "Maggie," I began, "What- I mean, the doctor had an explanation, right? Everything's going to be fine.." my voice trailed off hopefully, but Maggie shook her head.
"No, baby. It's not fine. He- he told me to visit the hospital so they could run some tests and- Aliana, I have Alzheimer's."
•
I was sitting on the couch in the living room with my head in my hands. Maggie was sitting across from me, completely silent. She hasn't said a word since she had told me about her Alzheimer's.
"What are we going to do?" I asked, my voice hoarse.
Maggie looked up, her eyes swimming. "I don't know. The doctor wants me to go to a home-"
"A home?" I interrupted, whipping my head up to look at her, "Like, a nursing home?"
Maggie nodded. I shook my head furiously. "No. No way. I can take care of you! My friend Emma's granny had Alzheimer's and she was fine as long as she took her meds-"
"Aliana." Maggie interrupted me, her voice soft. "No. You're not going to give up your life to look after me. I won't allow you to. It will be better if I go to a home sweetheart. You know that."
I shook my head, a single tear starting to make its way down my cheek. "But if you take medication or something-"
"No." Maggie's voice was still soft, but firm. "The doctors don't know how bad the Alzheimer's is yet. It's come on remarkably quickly, and it shows all the signs of getting worse in a short space of time. Medication may not be enough to treat it. It will keep me calm and stuff, but it's not going to make it go away."
The tear that had been traveling down my cheek had reached my chin. It stayed their for a moment, before falling and landing on one of my hands. I stared at the tiny splash of moisture on my hand for a long moment before speaking.
"What am I going to do?" my voice was almost as quiet as Maggie's. I raised my head to look her in the eye. Tears were falling freely down her aged cheeks. She suddenly looked twenty years older, and a whole lot smaller, which was saying something.
"Your mother wants you to move back in with her.." she said, lowering her gaze to look a her hands, which were twisted together in her lap.
I shook my head. "No." I said furiously. "I am NOT going back."
Maggie sighed. "Baby, I really don't know what to do. We both know I'm an unfit guardian-"
"You are NOT!!" I interrupted, outraged.
Maggie allowed me a sad smile before continuing, "Yes, sweetheart, I am. And don't argue!" she said as I opened my mouth to protest. "And also.. She has- Promised that she's not drinking anymore. That she's given it up for good."
That made me snort. My mom, giving up alcohol? For her, that would be like giving up air. "Maggie, we both know that the longest she can 'give up drink for good' is about a week. I just- I.. I just don't want to go back to her and start having to do the exact same things I did before. Like picking her up off the ground outside a pub after she's passed out because she's pissed out of her face. Or cleaning up the puke. Or having to deal with a new 'boyfriend' of hers in the house every effing night. Or having to work my ass off to get money, and then having her spend it on alcohol. I'm surprised she's managed to last this long on her own, to be honest. I didn't think she would be able to pay the rent. May I please ask when she made this promise?" I asked, taking a deep breath after my rant. It felt strangely good to get that off my chest. I felt.. Lighter, almost.
"Day before yesterday." Maggie answered quietly.
I stared at her, and then laughed quietly in disbelief. Maggie looked up at me questioningly.
"She couldn't even last a day." I said, shaking my head. "I was talking to her on the phone yesterday, and she was drinking."
Maggie stared at me for a long moment, before gritting her teeth and muttering "That bitch!" furiously under her breath. I couldn't help but smile. That was more like the Maggie I knew and loved.
"You can't go back, can you.." she said absently. She didn't phrase it as a question, so I didn't answer. "I just don't know.. I don't want you living on your own, sweetheart. I know you're old enough, I'd just prefer you living with someone.."
"Well..." I began hesitantly, "Remember Lauren? You met her before. She came here, asking if I wanted to go shopping..?" I trailed off, watching Maggie's face for any signs of recognition. She just stared at me blankly for a moment, before nodding swiftly. "Yes. Yes. About your height, brown hair, very peppy, yes I remember. I met her on.. Saturday, was it?"
I pressed my lips together and stared at my feet for a moment before shaking my head. "Today is Saturday, Maggie. You met her on Monday."
Maggie nodded quickly. "Yes, of course. I remember now."
I just nodded and decided to continue. "Well, she said I could stay with her and her roommate. If I needed to."
Maggie said nothing for a few minutes. Just when I was wondering whether or not she had fallen asleep, she said "It seems to be the best option.. It's better than sending you back to your mom, anyway." suddenly, her face split into a wide grin. "Do you want to tell her you're staying in Michigan or will I?"
•
After a very long, loud and angry phone call to my mom, Maggie sighed and looked at the clock. "Oh, my." she said in surprise. "Eight o'clock already! I had best be heading to bed then. Goodnight sweetheart."
I smiled and kissed her on the cheek, before hovering uncertainly, unsure whether she wanted help getting to bed or not. She seemed to read my mind because she smiled slightly and shook her head. "I'm fine dear. I'll see you in the morning."
I smiled and watched her as she headed towards her room, but my smile fell as soon as she was put of sight. She had never gone to bed that early before. How had this come on so suddenly? She had almost always stayed up to watch 'The Vampire Diaries' or 'Jersey Shore' or something like that.
I took a deep breath and headed to my room. Once there I closed the door carefully and sat on my bed, before taking out my phone and dialling Joey's number.
He answered on the second ring. "Ali? Oh jeez, are you okay? Is everything all right?"
"Joey, can we meet up tomorrow at the coffee shop?"
He must have heard something in my voice, because when he spoke again it was as if he was trying not to wake a sleeping baby. "Sure Ali. Is two o'clock alright?"
"Yeah. That's fine" I whispered. We said our goodbyes before hanging up.
I climbed into bed without getting undressed.
That night I cried myself to sleep.