I had been back from the hospital for about ten days now. My time there was mostly a blur because I had been on anaesthetic so I was out cold most of the time. It turns out my arm had broken in two different places so I had a full cast on my arm which locked it straight and made me feel useless. I had been ordered off work for a month and I was already missing having a routine, despite how boring work was it was nothing compared to this.
“Oh Sherlock” Mrs Hudson’s voice came from my television. This is how desperate I was, lying in my bed eating endless packets of Maltesers and watching Sherlock. Ok so I wasn’t just watching Sherlock; Star Trek, War Horse and Fifth Estate were just some of the DVDs that lay on the floor around my bed. I hadn’t heard from him since that night. He hadn’t answered my calls or texts and hadn’t been home – or pretended not to be home - when I went around to visit.
I know it sounds stupid as I only knew him for two weeks, I’m not saying that I loved him because it was too soon to even consider that but I did miss him. I missed him tremendously. I almost felt that there was a blanket over life at the moment and he was the only one who could help. So I had resorted to watching everything that he was in so that I felt remotely close to him once more.
Tina came through my door and got under the covers with me. “I swear you have watched this one at least three times before” She said loudly with a mouth full of chocolate. I kicked her to shut her up as I continued to stare at the screen. I watched the way his eyebrows raised and moved together when he spoke, the way his lip twitched before he spoke and the way he rolled his eyes countless times. Tina left about twenty minutes later, probably fed up with my constant shushing.
I picked up my phone once more and dialled his number. It rang twice before cutting into voicemail, letting me know that he had purposefully rejected my call. “Hi sorry I can’t take your call, please leave me a message and I’ll get back to you” Even his voice recording was amazing his deep voice warm and kind, like I would never here it again.
I grabbed my dance bag and my Bloch shoes and left the apartment, at least this stupid cast was useful for one thing, I thought as I hung my bag off of it. The drive to the studio was short and quite with not many cars out on the road and I enjoyed looking at the stars in the cloudless night sky.
I shoved the key into the door to the dance room, I had had a key since I was 17 as I used to help teach lessons before my parents made me start to work for Paul. The moonlight filled the room as the light bounced off the mirrors that lined the walls. I put on my shoes; the familiar ache felt nice as I stood up, it was distracting at least from the ache in my chest.
I walked over to the CD player and played my favourite song “River Flows in You” and walked to the centre of the room. I closed my eyes, letting the music fill me up, surround me, enclose me, wrap me in its arms making all the pain fall away. My body moved as if disconnected from my brain, responding purely to the music all my anger and upset poured out of me and seemed to flow out into a series of movement. I danced until all my muscles ached and my chest rose and fell heavily and when the song ended I walked back to the player and put it on loop. Each beautiful piano note calmed me in a way that nothing else ever seemed to be able to. I remembered the competitions I had been too and won with this song and a smile filled my face.
I turned to the series of tall windows and enjoyed focusing on the moon and the stars as I turned and jumped soundlessly. I didn’t want to stop but I knew that I would already be in enough pain tomorrow and plus it was getting late. I got back into my car and drove back to the apartment, had a bath to wash the sweat from my body, and got back into bed and resumed the episode where I had left it. The credits begun to roll just as my eyes drifted closed and just as my phone began to vibrate, but I was already asleep.