IRISH URIEL LEE POV
I went back to my unit after Jeana left. Jace must have placed the box inside when I was downstairs.
Argh! How embarrassing! I haven't spoke a word with him yet.
I can't even sink in everything that is happening right now. I don't even know how to start. I'm all alone. Even the only one who was always there for me, left. And, all I can do is...
*sobs* *sobs* *sobs* *sobs* *sobs* *sobs* *sobs*
After a couple of minutes weeping, I just realized how I wasted these tears to people who doesn't even deserve me. Why would I cry over those people who left me? Just in a flash, my heart turned into a stone. If they don't want my presence, why would I even care about their absence?
I wiped my tears immediately and started to unpack the box. As expected, it's my stuff inside. Wow! My best friend was really ready to kick me out of her home. I saw my phone charger placed at the top, so I instantly used it.
After more than an hour of organizing everything, I just thought about organizing myself as well, in terms of lifestyle.
It is actually the very first time I arranged my things after almost three years. That's how chaotic my life is.
I checked my phone and got no messages, calls, or any notifications from anyone. That's how lonely my life is.
*message tone*
Got a message from an unknown number. Wow! I'm not lonely after all.
_____________
This is Sunny, the owner of this apartment.
(I just knew the name of the grandma.)
Wi-Fi Password: 116.J^K7!U3uL8@3v01"
(That's quite a strong password.)
Schedule of Bill Payment: Every 15th of the month (Fixed amount - I will separately send the breakdown to you) - Give the payment to me on time.
(Argh! I still can't get over my personal life problems and these financial problems are adding up.)
I have simple rules to follow here:
- Be neat and clean. Throw your own garbage. Don't leave it at your doorstep and let me clean it up. There is a dumpster, beside the convenience store, just across the street.
(I wish I could just throw myself into a dumpster, 'cause that's how I feel, a garbage.)
- This is a fully furnished apartment, so please handle everything with care.
(I handled everything with care, but I ended up damaged.)
- Visitors are only allowed on weekends. If you need a space, you can use the rooftop, but you should manage to clean it afterwards.
(I don't even need a space for my visitors, 'cause I have no one.)
- Alcoholic beverages are allowed when it's moderately consumed. If you drink too much and cause a trouble, I will not hesitate to kick you out of my apartment. This will also be applied to your visitors.
(I would rather drink too much and die, so that I will not bother anyone anymore.)
- Sleepovers are allowed but, you will pay an additional amount on your fixed bill.
(This rule doesn't apply to a lonely human being.)
- Letting a visitor sleep for two or more nights is strictly not allowed or else, your rent will not be free for the next bill.
(Nobody wants to be with me. How can a sleepover happen?)
- Paying bills late is strictly not allowed. If you have an acceptable reason, I will give you only a week to find a way to pay.
(*sigh* I'm a jobless woman. Is that an acceptable reason?)
- If you have a car, there is a space on the garage, but you need to pay for that.
(I have a car, but it's parked at my ex-boyfriend's garage. And, I don't even know where is it. He bought that car for me, but when we broke up, he took it. Why? 'Cause he said, he paid for it. A**hole, right?)
- Don't lose your two keys (gate and your unit). I don't recommend fingerprint locks, so get used to old ways. Inform me immediately in case of losing it.
(I don't lose anything. They are the ones who lose me. Even my own car loses me, 'cause it went with an a**hole. And, I am getting used to old ways, 'cause I'm all alone since birth.)
- I'll also remind you, that doorbells from the gate have separate buttons for each unit. So, if you have any deliveries or visitors, please notify them about it, to avoid disturbances.
(I am always a disturbance to people.)
- Always keep the gate locked when you go out and get home, as well as your unit.
(I've been staying at home for almost three years. Will I still see this cruel world in a different way? All I can see is darkness and loneliness.)
- Be honest.
(I am always honest. Why is it hard for other people?)
If you have concerns, you can contact me in this number or ring the doorbell on my unit. If I won't be able to respond, you can contact my grandson here ############ or knock on his unit.
Thank you for your cooperation.
_____________
*rumbling sounds*
Apparently, I got hungry from reading a list of grandma's rules. I just remembered, that I need to buy groceries. Argh! Need to do this again after almost three years. *sigh*
I searched for the nearest grocery store and it is just a 15-minute walk from here. I got ready and went out of my unit.
"Aaaaaaaaah!!!"
"*laughs* Didn't know you're skittish."
I was surprised, because I bumped into Jace on the way to the stairs. We did not see each other beforehand, because the exterior corridor is designed in an L-shaped style. Our doors are at different sides.
And, I don't know why can't I speak up when seeing him.
"Are you going somewhere?", glad he asked! I could say something now.
"Yeah, I'm gonna buy groceries."
"I'll be going there too. Mind if I walk with you?"
"No. It's fine.", I just allowed him to go with me, even if I feel uncomfortable.
*awkward silence while walking*
Argh! I am starting to feel uneasy, just remembering that we hugged each other yesterday night and letting him witness how stupid I am, begging for Hans.
"Are you feeling better now?", thank you for breaking the silence!
"No, how would I?", I openly answered.
"Sorry. Just asking.", he apologized.
"Why would you apologize?"
"'Cause you sound mad?", he replied unsure.
"See? You're not even sure why you're saying 'sorry', so don't say it."
"Sorry.", he apologized again.
"Why?"
"'Cause I should not say 'sorry' when I am unsure of the reason."
"Then, you should have not said it to me. Say it to yourself, 'cause it was your fault saying 'sorry', when you should not."
"*chuckles* Why so serious? Calm down."
"'Cause I got used in apologizing without reasons. Even if I haven't done anything wrong, I say 'sorry'. And, it did not do good on me."
"I know. But, that's all I can say if I thought I ruined a person's mood.", he said in a serious tone.
"Well, it's not you who ruins my mood. So, don't apologize.", he just nodded and smiled.
"Hans sent me a message. Is it okay for you to talk about it?", that didn't sound good. I started to hate hearing his name. It hurts me.
"No. I can't and I don't wanna talk about him.", I frankly answered.
"He wanted to apologize for what happened and he wants me to let you know, that he is sorry. That's all."
"Did I just tell you not to talk about him?", and that ruined my mood.
"I was thinking that I should let you know."
"You should not have told me."
"Okay. Do I need to say sorry? *smiles*"
"Why ask me and smile? Do you think it's funny?"
"Sorry. I think I ruined your mood."
"No. Hans did."
"Sorry, just wanna let you know his message to you."
"No, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have been involved in our problem last night."
"I don't mind. I just honestly didn't like what Hans did. If I were him, I will still prioritize helping than leave, because of any annoyance I feel."
"Thanks."
"*smiles* But, I didn't do anything. Don't thank me."
"You did. I won't be able to pull myself together, if I was left alone."
"*smiles* You're welcome."
"You know why I got pissed off about Hans's message to you? 'Cause I can't even count how many times he said sorry to me, and repeat the same stupid mistakes."
"I eat ice cream when I'm in a bad mood.", he suddenly said something off-topic.
"What?"
"Don't get yourself pissed off. I will treat you ice cream later. *smiles*"
"Don't bother. An ice cream won't solve my problems."
"But, it will increase your serotonin level.*smiles*"
"Fine. I'll buy on my own. Don't bother to treat me.", from the time Hans took the car that he gave me, I started to feel uneasy when a person gives me something. Why would you lend something to a person if you want to get it back at the end? Isn't that absurd?
"*chuckles* Come on! You were just accepting my help yesterday. Why won't you today?"
"'Cause nothing increases my serotonin level. Maybe, I was born without it. So, don't bother."
"*chuckles* That's why I'm telling you to eat ice cream."
"A damn ice cream won't help, okay?!", I haven't controlled myself from raising my voice. He didn't speak for about 2 minutes, which made me realize that I shouldn't have shouted.
"Sorry."
"Sorry."
We apologized at the same time after a bit of silence.
"No...I'm sorry. I'm just...not in the mood.", as always.
"No, it's fine. I understand.*smiles* "
"How do you that?"
"Do what?", he asked confused.
"Smile."
"*chuckles* Why would you ask that? Smiling is...just as easy as...smile. *smiles widely*"
"I can't even smile when someone shouts at me without any reason. If someone raises their voice on me, I will be anxious about it for days, weeks, or even for the rest of my life."
"*chuckles* Don't take all things too seriously. You might waste days, weeks, or even the rest of your life, because of those worries.", what he said is true, that it hurts me. Am I wasting my life?
"Will you still buy me ice cream?"
"*chuckles* If you allow me and if you don't shout at me.*smiles*"
"*sigh* I'm sorry, okay?"
"*chuckles* Come on! I'm just kidding. I'll buy you ice cream, okay? *chuckles*", he said while ruffling my hair, like I'm a kid.
"Aish! I might shout at you.", I put away his hand from the top of my head.
"*laughs* Your hair is softer than yesterday. It's really different when a person takes a bath. *chuckles*", he continues to laugh even if I didn't laugh on his joke.
"How do you even know that I took a bath?"
"*chuckles* So, you didn't?", he smelled his hand, which touched my hair, and acts like it smells bad, then laughed continuously.
"Don't eat too much ice cream, 'cause you end up laughing at your own jokes. *rolls eyes*"
"*laughs* I did not eat ice cream, though."
"Then, maybe you're just like that, 'cause no one laughs at your jokes."
"*laughs* Are you pissed off? *chuckles* Come on! I'm just trying to make you laugh."
"You cannot make me laugh, okay?"
"*chuckles* What if I can?"
"Then, I don't need an ice cream.", we finally reached the grocery store.
"*chuckles* Okay. Wanna make a deal?"
"What deal?"
"Let me know whenever you're in a bad mood. Then, I'll treat you ice cream. If I make you laugh, at least once, during conversations, that's the only time I'll stop feeding you ice cream. Deal? *smiles*"
"How can you be so sure that we will have 'conversations'?", we took a big cart to share.
"*chuckles* We're neighbours.", we started to go to each grocery aisle.
"Not all neighbours talk with each other."
"*chuckles* Well, we're not one of them."
"How can you be so sure that I'll do conversations with you?"
"*chuckles* 'Cause I know you need someone to talk to.", I just kept silent, 'cause it's true.
Most of the products I've put on the cart are junk foods. I've lost passion in cooking for almost three years. Jace was different. He took some healthy ingredients and fresh meat.
"What the?", Jace is looking at the cart where my groceries were placed.
"Why?", I asked.
"You will die early.", he said while holding the pack of frozen hot dogs.
"Then, that's great!", I sarcastically replied. I took the pack from his hand and place it back to the cart.
"You know what, I'm gonna put this back for you.", he quickly put back all the junk foods that I took.
"What the hell are you doing? Mind your own groceries."
"I will cook for you. Just pay me half the price of the ingredients later.", and that made me feel uneasy again. I don't want any offers anymore.
"Can you please not offer me anything? I accepted the ice cream already, okay?"
"What? Why? That's a fair deal, right?"
"No, it's not. I'll just pay half the price. Not only you will pay the other half, but you will also cook."
"You can help me cook, if you know how or if you want?*smiles*"
"We are not living on the same unit, okay? So, cook your own and I'll cook my hot dogs."
"*laughs* But, we're living under the same roof."
"Why do you even care about me?"
"Why? Is it wrong to remind people not to eat too much junk foods?*smiles*"
"Did Hans told you to do this? If yes, leave me alone."
"What if not?"
"*sigh* Hans is the very first person who was always reminding me to avoid junk foods."
"So what? I didn't even know that. I really am concerned. You took a bunch of it. What? You'll be eating that for a month?", he sounded worried.
"You even let me eat cup noodles. That's unhealthy too."
"*chuckles* 'Cause that's the only food I can offer yesterday."
"Reasons. It's even your favourite midnight snack."
"*chuckles* At least, I didn't offer you to get drunk. Choose between wine and cup noodles."
"See? You even drink. Now, who is truly unhealthy?"
"*chuckles* Hey, wine is good for the heart."
"Then, you should've offered me that instead."
"*chuckles* Well, that's not food. Plus, it's not good for an empty stomach."
"Then, you should've offered me both."
"*chuckles* Why would I offer wine to a person who fainted and can't even stand up straight?"
"Whatever. It still doesn't change your unhealthiness."
"*chuckles* But still, I don't eat snacks at midnight often. Seeing the amount of junk foods you wanna buy, tells me that you eat those for breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner, or even at midnight."
"You act like a grandma. Can you just let me?", I started to put the junk foods back to the cart.
"You act like a kid who is stubborn.", he pushed the cart and walked even if I am not yet done placing my junk foods.
"HEY!", I called him loudly, but he just laughed hard and continued to walk. So, I just left the other junk foods I haven't put on the cart and followed him. We continued to shop for groceries and reached the ice cream section.
"You need to eat one of these before you die. *chuckles*", he said while pointing onto the ice cream freezer.
"Do you wanna die? Why is it even funny?", I sarcastically asked.
"*laughs* I'm just giving you a friendly reminder, that those are really bad for your health.", he said pointing to my junk foods.
"Why? Is that good for my health?", I pointed to the ice cream freezer.
"Good for your mood. And, I only eat ice cream when my charming smile fades. *smiles and winks* Unlike you, filling up your refrigerator with junk foods."
"Whatever. I didn't even bother to restrict you in having cup noodles as your midnight snack."
"You can restrict me if you care about my health. *smiles*"
"You can't stop someone if they want something, even if it's wrong."
"*chuckles* You can stop me if you want."
"I can't even stop a person I love. So, how can I stop someone whom I just knew?"
"*chuckles* Okay fine. Here.", he placed a one gallon of ice cream, flavoured cookies and cream, on the cart. "I won't stop you from buying those junk foods, but let me buy you ice cream, whenever you're in a bad mood, okay? *smiles*"
"How did you know?", it gets weird, 'cause earlier, he stopped me from buying junk foods, which Hans does. And now, he wants to treat me my favourite flavor of ice cream, which Hans knows.
"Know what?", he looks confused.
"It's my favourite flavor."
"Really? It's my favourite too.*chuckles*", do I have a long-lost brother or what?
"Seriously? Treating me a gallon?"
"Why? I can even finish half of it in one sitting.*chuckles*"
"Then, you're telling me how unhealthy I am?"
"*chuckles* But, I only do that when I'm in a bad mood."
"I'm always in a bad mood."
"Well, there's another way to uplift your mood, if you want. Plus, it is not unhealthy. *smiles* "
"What is it then?"
"Talking to me.*smiles*"
"How can I be so sure that it's healthy and uplifting to talk to you?"
"*chuckles* Just because.", that short answer again.
*rumbling sounds*
"*laughs* I think we should pay now, so you could immediately cook your precious junk foods.", damn my stomach!
We just went straightly to the payment counter. After we have paid for our own groceries, he took my grocery bags and carried it.
"Let me.", I said taking my grocery bags.
"Let me. You might be hungrier. *chuckles*", he jokingly said and walked.
"Why are you helping me?", I am just feeling uneasy, 'cause I just met him and he helps me like he knew me a lot.
"Why? Is it bad?"
"No...But, you don't even know who or what I am."
"*chuckles* Why? Are you a murderer?"
"I should've killed you if I was."
"*chuckles* I just love to help in any way I can. I help anybody who seems in need. And, I don't wanna see any women who are having a hard time, like simply carrying grocery bags.", he said earnestly, which left me speechless.
"Have you ever helped anybody and you regretted it?", she shook his head as a gesture of 'nope'.
"Why did you ask? Have you?", I just nodded as a gesture of 'disappointed yes'.
"I helped Hans, but I ended up regretting it."
"Hey! *chuckles* You said, you don't wanna talk about him."
"Just sayin'. "
"So, are you starting to choose the second option to uplift your mood in a healthy way? *chuckles*"
"What? Talking to you? No, I prefer ice cream."
"*chuckles* But, seriously, you can talk to me if you want. Not to brag about but, most of the people I know calls me a 'one-call-away buddy'."
"Then, what about you? Who is your 'one-call-away buddy'?"
JACE WALLACE KRISTOFF JEON POV
I don't even know who is my 'one-call-away buddy'. 'Cause, I really don't talk about my problems and when I'm in a bad mood, I keep silent.
"Myself. *chuckles*"
"Why? From the people who tells you their problems? Are they not even bothering to ask yours? Or aren't you trying to open up to at least, uplift your mood?"
"They ask me, yes. But, I don't wanna speak about it. When we talk, I don't talk about their problems either. Instead, I share some happy thoughts, stories, or experiences. You know...crack jokes or hang out to divert their attentions."
"Did that help them?"
"Yeah...*chuckles* Are you inquiring for me to be your 'one-call-away buddy'?"
"No, I still prefer ice cream. But...why won't you speak up too, if that helps them?"
"Because, no one else, but yourself, will always be the one who chooses, if you want to drown yourself in problems or let your problems drown by lifting yourself up."
We finally reached home after a 15-minute walk. It seems I left her lost for words. I just helped her carry her grocery bags up to her doorstep.
"Thank you.", she said while taking her grocery bags from me.
"No problem. *smiles & winks* Just don't forget to eat ice cream after eating your precious hot dogs. *laughs*"
"*smiles* Whatever.", I stunned when she finally truly smiled.
"*smiles* I thought I'm gonna make you laugh, instead of smile."
"Why? Are you disappointed that you'll still buy ice cream for me?"
"*chuckles* No. I actually prefer your smile, 'cause I can still do conversations with you."
"Why do you even wanna talk with me?"
"'Cause you need to laugh *smiles*", I don't know but, I had a sudden urge to help her out, as a friend. Maybe, that's why I am called, a 'one-call-away buddy'.
"Talking with me is no fun."
"Whatever. *chuckles* You keep that smile. It looks good on you. *smiles*", she looked at me with a straight face.
"Whatever. You're just hungry. Anyway, see ya when I see ya. *waves*", I smiled and waved 'bye-bye' before she closed the unit door.
I went back to my unit and started to cook for lunch. While I was waiting for the food to get well-cooked, I remembered that I liked Larissa's photo earlier and it disturbs me. I checked my phone and...
Damn.
____________
Messenger 30 mins ago
Larissa: How are you?
____________
I still didn't open the message and just read it from the notifications. I didn't expect that she'll be sending a message after a month of no communication. Should I respond?
After minutes of staring blankly into my phone, I almost forgot that I am in the midst of cooking. I quickly turned off the stove and thank goodness, it was not overcooked. I packed some for grandma and knocked on her unit.
"Grandma! *smiles* Have you eaten lunch?"
"You don't have to cook for me. Besides, I have eaten already.", she said, but still took the food I packed.
"You can eat it for dinner, though. *smiles*"
"Just give this to Irish instead.", grandma said and returned the packed food.
"Grandma, she is cooking her own. Come on, just get this."
"How did you know? Her kitchen is empty. If she starves again, she might faint and I will get stressed again, goodness gracious!"
"*chuckles* Grandma, calm down! She went to buy groceries. I was with her."
"What? Both of you?"
"Yes. I even treated her ice cream, 'cause she is really in a bad mood. *chuckles*"
"Punk, I'm warning you to be careful. You are a public figure. You just broke up with Larissa. If someone sees you with another girl, at this time, some people will surely spread rumors. This will not just affect you, but also Irish who doesn't even have any idea."
"Yes grandma, don't worry.", grandma has a point though.
"Punk! Eat your lunch. Thank you for this.", I just smiled and went back to my unit.
After eating, I decided to respond to Larissa's message, while she is online.
____________
Messenger
Me: I'm alright...thanks. You?
(She read it as soon as it was sent.)
Larissa: I'm ok. How's grandma?
Me: She's fine. Still young-looking *laughing emoji*
Larissa: Hehe she actually called me before, about her tenant.
Me: Oh yeah...grandma said, that you recommended this apartment. Thanks for that.
Larissa: No problem. Hope I brought grandma a good tenant. *laughing emoji*
Me: Um yeah...I bet she is a good tenant. *smiling emoji*
Larissa: You already met her?
Me: Yep.
Larissa: That's great. Are you thinking about coming over here? I mean...it's also your home. Our friends miss you a lot.
(I wonder if she misses me too.)
Me: Um...maybe sometime. *smiling emoji*
Larissa: I honestly wanna talk to you personally...
(I felt a bit edgy when she said that. We just spoke again, so I don't want this conversation to get serious for now.)
Me: Um...Can't we talk over the phone?
Larissa: We can, but...it's better to talk about it in person. Anyway, I'm not rushing. Whenever it's convenient for you. *smiling emoji*
Me: Can you tell me what is it all about?
Larissa: Me and you...
Me: Okay...so...what about us?
Larissa: Just to be clear about some things...you know...
(She might be talking about the exact reason or reasons why we agreed to break up.)
Me: You know that I don't wanna talk about anything serious.
(When we broke up, I never stated any reasons why I agreed. I just listened to Larissa's side and kept my mouth shut. Though it hurts, I did not go against her reasons, but just understood her.)
Larissa: But...can you at least, let me know your feelings? Please? *sad emoji*
(Never have I opened up to anyone, even to her. I am open to happy talks, but never to deep conversations.)
Me: It's a mutual decision, right? So, what's there to talk about?
Larissa: You know what's unfair? You never speak up.
Me: What if I speak up? Will that change anything? Since you knew me, I hate talking about sh*t.
Larissa: So, is this relationship just a piece of sh*t to you???
Me: Relationship? Aren't we done?
Larissa: I just wanted to hear you out. But, maybe, I shouldn't have sent you a message.
____________
She went offline.
Sh*t! What did I do?!
I tried to call her, but she is rejecting it.
*doorbell*
I looked through the door peephole and saw Irish. What is she doing here at this time?
I am not in the mood right now. I feel uneasy being around people when I'm this upset.
I don't have a choice, but to open the door and put a fake smile on my face.
"Hey *forced smiles* miss me? ", I jokingly said.
"Ha-ha. *rolls eyes* Here.", she gave me the gallon of ice cream I bought her. How does she even know I need this now?
"Why are you returning what I gave you?", I asked.
"I'm not returning it. I spared the half of it for you. You know...just wanna thank you."
"*forced smiles* Thank you. You're at the right time. I'm craving for it. *winks*", don't wanna let anyone know my current mood.
"You said, you just eat that, when you're in a bad mood. ", why does she even remember every detail of a conversation?
"And, when I'm craving it. *chuckles* ", I just added.
"Whatever. You are just as unhealthy as I am. Anyway, your craving granted!", she waved 'bye-bye' and left with a straight face again. How does she maintain a deadpan expression? It's too difficult not to smile.
I swiftly took a spoon and enjoy the ice cream.
She really did finished the half. Ha-ha! Cute. That made me smile a bit.
After finishing it, I don't feel irritated anymore. So, I checked my phone again and...
Sh*t.
____________
Messenger 18mins ago
Larissa: I'm on my way there.
____________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note:
Hi there! Thank you for reading. Only vote if you are truly interested.
What do you do when you're in a bad mood?
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God Bless! ♥