The echo of an excited giggle woke Maryn from sleep. Blinking in the early morning sunlight, she looked around the bedroom trying to find the source of the laughter. It sounded so familiar and yet she couldn't remember where she had heard it. Pushing back the sheet that was covering her, she swung her feet out of bed and stood, the hem of the delicate, black lace nightgown she was wearing sliding down to settle around her ankles. The thin straps and long voile shawl that reached the hem of the nightdress would have done little to keep her warm had a hot breeze not been blowing in through the open doors of the balcony.
The same happy giggle that had awoken her sounded again and Maryn knew it was coming from the balcony. Picking up a gold filigree hair-comb from the small table beside the bed, she twisted her long, dark locks up and pinned them in place with the ornament. Barefoot, and with a strange sense of excitement, Maryn made her way to the doorway of the balcony.
The sight that met her eyes when she stepped out into the warmth of the sun made her heart start to beat frantically and she had to reach out a hand to steady herself against the doorway. Fenrir was sitting curled up in the sun against the balcony rail, his green gaze on two figures a few feet away. The smaller of the two was crouched down examining a little crimson flower, which must have fallen from the roses climbing the wall nearby. Her dark curls obscuring her face and the pretty white and forest-green gown she was wearing puffing up around her small frame, she poked at the flower's petals before squealing in delight when they moved by themselves as if by magic. Standing she launched herself at the male figure sitting cross-legged opposite her, his arms wrapping around her as he cradled her to his chest, tilting backwards as he threw back his head and laughed.
It was the sound of that laugh that undid Maryn. Pressing a trembling hand to her lips, she crumpled to her knees, her head bowed and her hand still gripping the golden column of the doorpost tightly.
"Mama?" the soft, worried cry pulled at Maryn's heart and she opened her eyes to see the little girl toddle toward her.
When she was close enough, Maryn reached out a shaking hand and cupped her rosy cheek, tears sliding silently down her face.
The child leant into her touch and Maryn bit her lip to hold her sobs at bay.
"Don't cry, Mama," the little girl said her own lip quivering and tears gathering in her emerald green eyes. She couldn't have been more than three summers old.
"Kari."
Maryn raised her eyes from the child to the other person on the balcony. He stood languidly, unfolding his tall frame from its seated position. He was wearing black breeches, a billowing white shirt undone at the neck, and an open, sleeveless green vest. His feet were bare and his hair longer than she had ever seen it.
"Loki," Maryn breathed his name and a warm smile lit up his face. She watched silently as he strode forward and swept the little girl up into his arms before he crouched down before Maryn and studied her.
The child, Kari, wrapped her arms around his neck and spoke to him, "Why is Mama crying, Papa?"
"She is happy and also sad, my little flower," Loki spoke gently to her before turning his bright gaze to Maryn again. "There is no need to cry, my love."
With a barely stifled sob, Maryn threw herself into his arms, curling into him as she reached out and carefully pulled their daughter into her embrace, the small child clinging to her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Burying her face in the silky curls of her baby girl's hair, Maryn breathed in her soft scent and closed her eyes relishing having her in her arms.
After a few long moments of silence, Maryn opened her eyes and tilted her head up, looking at Loki, "How are you here?" she asked softly.
His hand came up and he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "That doesn't matter now, sweet one. All that matters is that we are together."
Needing more than just to see him, Maryn reached up and cupped his cheek. He turned his face into her touch and pressed a kiss to her palm. Pushing up, Maryn pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss. When she pulled away, tears blurred her vision, but before she could speak, Kari interrupted them.
"Mama, come see the flower." Hopping up out of Maryn's arms, she caught her hand and tugged her toward the small rose she and Loki had been looking at when Maryn had stepped onto the balcony. Collapsing against Fenrir's massive furry side, the little girl pointed to the rose still sitting on the ground not far away, its crimson petals and dark green stem and leaves contrasting with the golden marble it laid on, "It moves, Mama. Papa makes it move."
Maryn sat beside her daughter, the wolf at her back lifting his head to huff out a breath before he lowered it back to his paws and closed his eyes. As Loki settled beside her, Maryn watched his hands glow green and then turned to see the rose petals open, the flower blooming and its bud growing as each new petal curled back until at the centre only a tiny spiral of petals remained, the rest open and shimmering with what looked like gold dust.
Kari clapped her tiny hands in delight and climbed into Maryn's lap. "You do it too, Mama."
"My magic..." Maryn turned to Loki for help.
He smiled again, his hand cupping her cheek and his thumb brushing over her cheekbone, "Here your power is under control, sweet one, can you not feel it?"
Closing her eyes Maryn focused on her magic and realised it was true. Looking at Loki with an excited grin, she wrapped an arm around Kari's waist and leaned her chin on the top of her small head before reaching out with her other hand. Her fingers glowed silver and the flower rose up onto the end of its stem, its head dipping down and the gold dust on its petals sprinkling down and swirling in a magical breeze. The rose and gold specks lifted from the ground, the flower floating into Kari's lap as the gold dust drifted down on them, causing Fenrir to sneeze and Kari to giggle.
Maryn looked over to see Loki's eyes sparkling with mirth as their daughter climbed over to his lap and ran her short fingers through his hair, mussing the inky black locks, which were a few shades darker than Kari's own. The little girl had inherited Maryn's dark curls with red highlights where the light touched them, as well as the shape of her face. The only sign that Loki was her father came in the colour of her eyes; the vibrant green of them left no doubt as to whom her father was.
"She is truly our daughter?" Maryn couldn't help but ask.
The Dark Prince turned his gaze to her, Kari snuggling into his chest playing with the laces of his shirt. "Yes, Maryn, she is ours."
"Then this is a dream." Tears filled her eyes at the realisation.
Loki caught her hand in his, the sadness in his gaze making her want to weep. "If our lives had been different, this would have been our reality. Now, it is a gift of a short time together as the family we could have been."
Sobbing, Maryn pressed her face to his shoulder, "Forgive me, I could not stop Laufey from taking her from us, I could not save you."
Reaching around his daughter, Loki cradled Maryn's face between his hands, brushing away her tears as he looked into her eyes, "What happened was not your fault, sweet one. I chose my path and it meant that you were hurt and our child never lived."
Leaning into him, Maryn pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes and trying to calm her tears. The feeling of a small weight settling into her arms made Maryn look down to see Kari curl into her, golden light spilling from her small hands as she laid them on Maryn's cheeks, the warmth of her delicate magic making Maryn smile.
"No more tears, Mama."
Maryn pressed a kiss to her nose and forced back her tears, "No more, I promise."
Satisfied, Kari stood and threw herself onto Fenrir's large head, "Play with me Fen."
The animal snorted at the slight weight of the child and pushed her up to her feet as he raised his head and then stood, shaking himself before he licked Kari from chin to temple.
With a squeal of delight, the little girl shot off, running on short legs to the other side of the large balcony, Fenrir loping after her.
Maryn turned, settling her body back against Loki's chest as he sat behind her, his legs on either side of her. "Can I stay here with you forever?" she asked softly watching their child laugh and play with their enormous wolf.
His strong arms wrapped around her as he leaned his jaw against her temple, his long hair tickling her neck. "This is not life, Maryn."
She laced her fingers with his over her stomach, "Neither are the days of sorrow I endure without you...This could have been our life, you said as much."
With a quiet sigh, Loki reached out a hand toward their child, "Watch."
Maryn's eyes followed Kari as she changed from a small child into a tiny infant, then a little girl of five or six, a child of ten summers to a girl on the cusp of womanhood, then she became a woman, her hand held by a young man, one who looked a lot like Tora's son, Ari. The two aged before her eyes, their arms holding children and then grandchildren before, old and frail, they held each other and breathed their last. Blinking back tears once again, Maryn looked at Loki, "Why would you show me something that can never happen?"
Carefully pulling the gold comb from her hair Loki spoke, "It is what could have been. It will give you strength, my love."
"No, it only hurts me," Maryn tried to pull away from him, looking around frantically for Kari. The sight of the little girl walking toward Fenrir again holding onto an older woman's hand caused her to stop and stare, "Mama?"
Nia turned to look at her daughter, a beautiful smile turning up the corners of her lips before she looked to a tall man who stepped up next to her.
Struggling to her feet, Maryn stared at the man, his arm around her mother's waist and his eyes mirroring her own. "Papa?" she whispered.
"Our daughter is safe," Loki's voice pulled her gaze to his where he stood beside her, Fenrir leaving Kari's side to stand with him, "They are together now."
Shaking her head, Maryn gripped his arm, "I don't understand. Why show me this? Why am I here Loki?"
His intense eyes turned sad, "To make a choice, sweet one." He ran his fingers through her now loose locks his eyes following the movement as he rubbed the silky strands between his fingers revelling in the feel of them as if he would never touch them again.
Stepping into him with a glance at her parents and child, Maryn saw they were smiling at her silently as though waiting for her. "What choice Loki?" she asked fisting his shirt.
She gasped softly as he leaned down and captured her lips in a consuming kiss, slanting his mouth over hers and holding the back of her head in his palm as he tasted her deeply, his tongue tangling with hers and his arm pulling her body flush with his own.
When they broke apart, Maryn was panting slightly and kept her eyes closed for a moment or two longer before opening them and looking up into his eyes, her brows drawn together in confusion. "Why can I feel the warmth of our daughter's skin but I cannot feel you lips against mine?"
Grief darkened the green of his eyes, "You are closer to her now than you are to me, sweet one."
"I don't understand, Loki. Please, help me understand," Maryn pressed her forehead to his chest, her mind whirling with his words and everything she had seen and felt.
Stepping back, the Dark Prince held her at arm's length, "You must choose." He nodded at her family and their daughter, "Stay here and exist in never-ending safety and joy with them..." his gaze came to rest on hers again, "Or choose to awaken in our time and labour to breathe every moment, struggle with your grief, fight to control your magic. The choice is yours, sweet one. Even I cannot tell you what it is you should do."
Maryn searched his face. She noticed the brightness of his eyes, the way his pale skin contrasted with the black of his hair, recognised the ache growing in her chest to see him again, feel the warmth of his skin, the true strength of his arms wrapped tightly around her. This was not reality, and he was not truly here, she realised that with absolute clarity. She had an impossible choice; her daughter or her husband. Shaking her head she leaned into him, her hands gripping the smooth cloth of his shirt, "Don't make me choose, Loki, please," she whispered.
He pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes closing as he breathed in her scent, "Choose, Maryn."
"I cannot," she rejected his words.
"Choose," he murmured again.
Squeezing her eyes shut she refused to let him lift her chin, to look him in the eyes, "I cannot!"
"Maryn," his voice was sharp; "Open your eyes."
Darkness was encroaching on her mind but all she could see behind her closed lids were flashes of her daughter's smiling face, her mother and father hand in hand.
"Maryn, open your eyes."
She heard again Loki's rich laughter melting together with Kari's excited giggle.
"Maryn, open your eyes."
"I cannot," she whispered gripping the material beneath her hands, and still she kept her eyes closed.
"...Open your eyes..."
There was a sudden still silence around her, not even the sound of her heartbeat or breathing broke it.
Then, as if from over a great distance, a ringing wordless shout grew. It became louder and louder until she was forced to bury her face against the material in her hands. The yell was wordless at first and it hurt her ears it became so loud.
Then, suddenly, as if the sound had been brought into focus, she heard a single word.
"Maryn!"
Her eyes flew open, her body tensing as she gripped the pillow under her head, and she whispered, "...Loki."