Marisa had a hard time reconciling Robert's adventurous persona with that pathological profile delineated by Eliana. She had yet again the feeling he was an incomplete puzzle—or, who knows, the puzzle had been finalized the previous night when he had poured out his heart to her?
"Robert doesn't match this description," Marisa contested. "And if it's like you say, why did you allow him to manipulate you all these years? In many cases, victimhood is a matter of choice."
"Things aren't that simple. The narcissist puts you on too high of a pedestal. The fall is excruciating, it depletes you of strength and clarity. Afterward, you're reinstated to the pedestal and knocked off once more, and the cycle continues until you're in a permanent state of confusion and despair. When the abuse is on course, you're no longer able to see it for what it is."
Even though she had sympathy for Eliana, Marisa didn't agree with her theory. Marco was right: she was troubled.
"I don't deem Robert as arrogant or selfish. Everybody has a dose of narcissism, which is healthy for building self-love. And Robert managed to neutralize his egotism by dedicating himself to social causes. He even crossed the city to be with you when you lost your friend. That's not the behavior of a self-centered man."
"He doesn't do it for other people. He's intelligent and camouflages his motivations. The apparent unpretentiousness serves to captivate and the fake modesty to inspire praise. He's attentive and generous because it suits the image he's created for himself."
Robert only comforted Eliana to reinforce her illusion and his own delusion of grandeur. He didn't love her. He needed her, which was something else. He needed her as a trophy, to shun the feeling of abandonment and loneliness, to feed his ego because he was incapable of feeling good without an audience. Eliana matched the feminine ideal that satisfied Robert's self-image. It could be her or any another woman who met the requirements—it made no difference whatsoever.
"Robert told me I'm the woman he's always wanted, Eliana. He's even willing to move to Brazil with me."
"Lies. He said that to allure you. Even if Robert's infatuation is genuine, the only thing that really interests him is what you have to offer. What he needs. Bear in mind he's a predator and you, the perfect prey.
"Me? Why?" Marisa inquired suddenly ill at ease.
As she evaluated the situation from that angle, she realized Robert had besieged her since day one. He infiltrated her sleep and invaded her daydreams. Now he wanted to cross the last frontier.
"You're young and susceptible, Marisa. Perfect to idolize him. If you don't submit to Robert's wishes, he will admire you for that and hate you for possessing the inner strength he lacks. So he will do everything in his power to crush you, and when you're fallen at his feet, he'll despise you. And once you no longer suit him, Robert will distance himself as if you've never existed."
Eliana lingered in reflection. She ran one hand over her head pensively, tidying her hair and her thoughts.
"I should have suspected his intentions, but I was too confused to notice. Robert is expansive with everyone, and I didn't think anything of the way he treated you."
"He was the one who knocked me into the pool on the first day of the cruise. He was drunk and tried to kiss me. Later Robert asked me not to tell anyone because he was ashamed of himself. The sandals he gave me were meant to be an apology. I found a card inside the box."
Silence followed as surprise transpired on Eliana's face.
"A card?"
"A message. But it wasn't an apology. It was more than that. I won't deny it affected me. I dumped the card and didn't tell anything to Marco." Marisa bit her lip and admitted with reluctance: "Deep down, I was flattered. At the same time, I felt bad for Marco."
"Don't blame yourself. I know exactly how you felt." Eliana sighed. "Robert is captivating and persuasive. He maps people. It always amazed me how easily he captures the essence of a person he has just met. He must have detected the turbulence in your relationship with Marco and took advantage of it. The fact that you were with someone else increased the value of the conquest. It was like that with me."
Again Marisa relived the second that had changed everything. The dismay of one second. One second that would have sufficed for her to walk away and accept Marco's flowers.
"He confessed his feelings for me on the island. Last night he promised me everything I wanted the most. Everything I already had without realizing," she murmured, her shoulders bowed.
"Robert was preparing the terrain to separate from me. He couldn't bear the humiliation of being rejected: he had to discard me before I discarded him. I became inconvenient, Marisa. I no longer abode by his wishes and I threatened to abandon him. That's unforgivable to a narcissist. Now I see that Robert pretended to repent and insisted in traveling with me to buy himself time until finding a replacement. In reality all he wanted was to punish my insolence. As soon as he won my trust again, he would trade me for another woman. I pity Robert. He didn't choose to be that way."
Eliana had left the cybercafe in a daze. Soon after her return to the cabin, Robert arrived from the Opal Lounge. She locked herself in the bathroom for she couldn't face him. Her state was of shock. She felt shattered and deceived. Infinitely sad. She wanted to gush out all the accusations stifled in her chest, punch him, spit in his face how much he had hurt her, how much she hated him, how much she despised him.
How much she still loved him.
But it wasn't love what she felt. At least, not love for that man. Her feeling clung to a chimera. Reality was violation of the worst kind, the kind that left deep and invisible scars. Eliana opened the bathroom door and announced that when they were back to San Diego she would file for divorce.
Robert protested—he sensed the truth in her words but didn't want to believe them and collected himself. She said they'd better get ready for the ball. They put on their masks of civility and their costumes and left.
Marisa held Eliana's hand.
"How do you feel?"
"Devastated. Relieved that I'm no longer afraid of falling from the high wire."
And then she wept.