"James, please don't leave me."
"I have to, Naddie."
I pouted at my best friend of 6 years. Today was his last day in this provincial life and tomorrow would start his new day in the big city of Manila -- a 3 hour plane ride away from home. We have never been this far from each other for the past 6 years. We went to high school together, went to college in the same town, and we even stayed in our college towns until this very moment.
He needed to leave to help his lola. With his lolo gone, he needed to help take care of her and keep her company. He had been complaining to me for a while now about how he's been wanting a fresh start and that maybe this move is just what he needed.
Of course, I agreed. All I want for my best friend is to be happy and to do what he feels is right for him -- even if it means leaving his dad and siblings (and me) behind.
I went over to the bare kitchen counter and propped myself up onto it. "Then take me with you."
"Like your parents would let you move across the country," he said, smirking at me.
"You missed a spot," pointing at the corner of the dining area.
His landlord said that she wanted the walls to be beige for the new tenants and gave him money to paint it. Only thing is that he put it off for the last day and I got a call to rush over and help him.
He fixed up the spot and took a good look around his apartment. "You know, I'm gonna miss this place."
I rolled my eyes at him. "How many girls have been in here now? Erin makes it 7 or 8... I lost count after 5."
James walked over to me and rested with his elbows on the counter next to me. "Jealous that you don't have that much game?"
"Grateful that I'm 100% certain that I don't have STDs," raising my eyebrows at him.
"I always use a condom!"
I laughed at him and hopped off the counter. He always got so riled up whenever I insinuate his "fuckboy" tendencies to him.
I went over to the fridge and took out the last bottle of liquor he had saved up. "Let's take a shot to celebrate being done with this apartment. May none of the females you brought here haunt your future. And hopefully your life doesn't turn into that one Matthew McConaughey movie."
He came over and tried grabbing the bottle, but I ran backwards and hid it behind my back. He attacked me by tickling me and I'm so ticklish that I surrendered within minutes.
Opening the bottle, he took two small shot glasses (both presents from my yearly birthday trips) and poured alcohol into them. He handed me a glass and held his up for a toast.
"To a better us."
"To a better us," I replied.
Clicking the glasses together, I held my breath in and took the shot down. Knowing James, that bottle was probably something that was hidden in the back of the freezer and unknown to him until he had to clean it out for moving.
I put the glass down and closed my eyes, trying to not think about the taste of rum -- especially since there was no chase. When I opened, he was smirking at me with another full shot glass pressed against his lips. I looked down at my glass, filled to the brim.
"James! We still have to make it to the movie later. Stop getting me drunk."
"What happened to my best friend?" he whined at me. "You were always more down than me."
I knew this tactic. It got me into a lot of trouble during my college days. All anyone had to do to get me to do some crazy scheme was tell me that I wasn't down to do it. And because I'm so competitive, I would do it to prove them wrong.
"I know what you're doing and it's not going to work," wagging a finger in his face.
He picked up my glass and pushed into my mouth. "Naddie. C'mon. This is the last time you'll ever get to party with me."
"Party? It's just the two of us. And we've been painting your apartment all day."
James smirked at me, knowing that I had no excuse for not drinking with him. So I sighed and grabbed the shot and downed it in two seconds.
"That's my girl."
"I'm not your girl."
A few more shots and we were laying on the tarp in the living room, laughing about things that happened in college. How he dated that one girl that didn't know the difference between a potato and a yam or the guy that I liked that I threw my tsinelas at after a night out. How his ex-girlfriend called me asking if I knew where he was because he wasn't answering his phone or how my ex-boyfriend called to thank him for not letting me on the train to kick his ass.
Finally, it came down to me joking, but not -- hoping he wouldn't catch on.
"We're practically dating. Without all the physical displays of affection."
He laughed and faced me on the tarp, "Remember that one time you liked me?"
"You mean 6 years ago because I was forced to be in your presence for 14 days straight? How could I forget when you keep bringing it up."
"I just think it's funny... since you asked me if I ever liked you back."
"And you said no, which is fine by me. Makes our friendship less complicated because trust me... it's in the past. I would never date you now."
I was lying. I was lying through my teeth, because truth was - I wanted there to be an us. I wanted to see what kind of love me and him had. But since he said he never saw me as anything more than just bestfriends, I suppressed my feelings and just turned into the supportive, maalaga person I've been for the past few years.
"And why not?" tucking his upper lip behind his lower and giving me drunk puppy dog eyes.
I wasn't drunk, but I definitely drank some sort of liquid courage. "Because if we dated, I'd already know you'd get sick of me in a week and date some other girl behind my back. You've never been 100% fully committed in a relationship because you always think someone else is better than who you're with."
"How else are you gonna find the best person to be with?" slurring his words.
"By dating and getting to know the people you date. Not going around and getting laid with the next prettiest human being with nice legs and a vagina."
"Okay... not now. But college was the time to mess around and explore options. It was so I know what I want in a serious relationship... Like I wish you knew that you took time to figure out what you want instead of chasing after someone who didn't deserve you."
I turned my head to look at him. His eyes definitely said that he was drunk, but that he was sincere in his words.
"I love him..."
He smiled at me, "I know you do. But I just think you need to decide to let him back him or let him go. You need to decide that, despite me thinking that he would get to you before some other guy does."
"I'm gonna miss you," wrapping my arm around his midsection and resting my head on his arm that was out for me. "I don't know what's gonna happen to me when I decide to become a cat lady or that single ninang that drinks too much wine."
"I'm gonna miss you too. You'll end up with someone, bestfriend. Remember, I have to be there to tell you which dress is pretty or ugly."
"If we're not married by 35, we have to marry each other," I said bluntly, avoiding eye contact.
"Deal."
He sat up to look at his phone that pinged to tell him that the uber was there.
"C'mon, Nadz... up you go... we got some Fantastic Beasts to watch," pulling me up from the ground.
That last night was spent being scared at the scenes that Eddie Redmayne wasn't apart of -- hands intertwined, but true feelings never revealed.
I got into my car after the movie and hugged him tightly, holding in my tears at the thought of being separated from him for this long. After one last hug, he closed my door and I opened my window to wave goodbye.
"Bye, Naddie! Love you."
"James... call me when you get there, ha?" I rolled up my window and gave one last wave before driving away.
"I love you too."
A/N:
SO MUCH HUGOT WRITTEN IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. AND I'M JUST EMOTIONAL BECAUSE THINGS.
Also, after talking to icannotlubayan, I just felt like I needed to let this out. Okay. That's enough feels for tonight/morning