"Bella wake up. Bella please, we need to talk." I hear and I slowly open my eyes. I see Shawn kneeled down next to me.
"Get away from me." I say and get up off of the ground. I look around for a second and then I grab my bag off of the floor.
"No please Bella I'm sorry." He says but I ignore him. I walk past him to my bed where I have my other bags. I grab my purse and start throwing things in it so I can get out of here as quick as possible.
"Sorry doesn't fix what happened." I say bluntly trying not to cry. I grab one of my bags off the bed and put it on the floor.
"Bella please stop. Don't leave." Shawn says and puts my bag back on the bed. I take another bag and put it on the floor. He reaches for it to put it back on the bed but I grab it before he can.
"Shawn. I'm leaving." I say and look him in the eyes. My eyes fill with tears and he sees that. I'm getting all chocked up so I grab my other bags and walk out of the room.
"Can we please talk about this first. I want to at least try to make things right. Just give me a chance." He says and I turn around a look at him. "Bella please." He says softly and his eyes look watery.
"Fine you've got five minutes." I say and go to sit in the living room. Shawn follows behind me and stands in front of me.
"Bella I was really drunk last night. I shouldn't have gotten drunk to begin with and that's my fault. I'm so sorry for trying to take it to far with you. I shouldn't have tried to do anything with you. I'm most sorry for what happened with Lauren and the things I said to you. I regret last night so much. You were suppose to be my date and I screwed this up big time. I'm so sorry Bella. Just please don't leave." Shawn says and a few tears roll down his face.
I don't know whether to forgive him or not. I don't know what to do anymore about anything. I have to go on this big tour with him soon. I think I just really need some time and space to think.
"Shawn. I don't know what you want me to do here. What you did really hurt. What you said hurt even more. I still have feelings for and I know you still have feelings for me. I understand that you made a mistake, but that was pretty damn big mistake." I say and then take a deep breath to try and think about what to say next.
"I know. I also know that just saying sorry won't fix things, but I can't fix things with you unless you are here. With me." He says and I look him in the eyes.
"I need you to answer a question for me then. And I want the complete truth." I say and he can tell that I'm very serious.
"Yes anything. I promise I'll be honest with you." He says and he means it.
"Did you sleep with Lauren last night after I left?" I ask and he doesn't answer. He doesn't look at me.
"I guess that's my answer then." I say and get up off of the couch and go to grab my bags and leave.
"Bella I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't have feeling for her." Shawn said but I ignored him and walked out to the garage and started putting my bags in my car.
"Bella where are you going to stay?" Shawn asks me as I put my bags in the back of my car.
"A hotel so you don't have to worry about me." I say and then close the back door to my car.
"What about the tour?" He asks as I walk around to the drivers seat.
"I'm still going. I already signed the contract." I say and get into the car. Just as I was about to shut the door he grabbed it.
"Bella please stay." He says softly and looks at me with those big hazel eyes. I examine his face for a quick second and I can tell he feels bad.
"I'm sorry Shawn." I say and then close the door and pull out of the garage. As I drive away I see him standing there in the middle of the drive way.
I'm breathing heavily as tears roll down my face. I don't want to leave Shawn, but I need to right now. I just need to think. Think about what I want and what I need.
I keep replaying last night in my head over and over again. I know he was drunk, but he knew what he was doing and saying. He does feel really bad about it.
I don't know what to do about anything anymore.
I pull into the hotel I called late last night and I find a parking spot. I wipe up my tears and try to hide the fact that I was just crying.
I grab my bags and walk into the lobby. When the young lady at the front desk sees me her face lights up.
"Hi! You're Bella Castillo! Oh my gosh can I get a picture?" She asks and grabs her phone.
"Yes of course." I say and smile for a selfie. She goes back behind the counter and puts her phone away.
"Okay here are your room keys." She says nicely and I take them. "Wait. Aren't you supposed to be living with Shawn Mendes?" She asks and I try to make up a lie really quickly.
"Umm. I uh..." I said and the phone started ringing. Thank God. She picked up the phone and so I waved her goodbye and went to the elevators.
On my way to up to my room floor my phone started ringing. I look and see that it's Shawn. I decline the call and put my phone on silent.
When I get to my room I just throw my bags on the ground and lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. I decided to tell Lily what happened. She knows that I went to the party as Shawn's date, but I haven't told her about what happened yet.
Bella🌺: I need to tell you something really important. Are you busy?
Lily🌸: No I was actually just about to text you to see how last night went.😏
Bella🌺: it was awful. I'm not staying with Shawn right now. I left.
Lily🌸: What?! What happened?!
Bella🌺: He got really drunk and was making out with another girl. When I confronted him he said some really hurtful things. Then after I left the party he slept with the girl.
Lily🌸: OH MY GOD. Bella I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I wish I could be there with you right now to hug you. And go and cut off Shawns balls.
Bella🌺: I wish you were here too. He apologized and Saudi he made a mistake. I couldn't stay there though. I just need to think.
Lily🌸: Where are you staying?
Bella🌺: A hotel. It's quiet here and right now that's what I need.
Lily🌸: I completely understand. What about Shawn's tour? You already agreed and signed a contract to go and open for him.
Bella🌺: I'm still going. I won't turn down a huge opportunity like that just because of my problems with Shawn.
Lily🌸: Are you going to forgive Shawn?
Bella🌺: I want to. It's just really hard to do that at the moment.
Lily🌸: Well do you still have feelings for him?
Bella🌺: Yeah I do. I think that if or when I forgive him it won't be the same. It'll take some time for things to get back to the way they were.
Lily🌸: I think he'll understand that.
Bella🌺: I hope so.
Lily🌸: Alright well I've gotta go, but I'll text you later. I love you sister💗 You'll get through this!
Bella🌺:Thank you so much! I love you too sister💗
I put my phone away and then go to take a shower. I don't know if I should call Shawn right now or not. I want to, but I'm still upset and don't want to say something that I'll regret later.
I get in the shower and the feeling of the warm rays of water is really relaxing. I stand the under the water for a moment and just think.
I want to forgive Shawn. I will eventually. I can't just go back to the way thing were though. We are going to have to start over.
After I got out if the shower and got dressed in my sweat pants and a t-shirt I went and sat on the bed and watched tv.
I grab my phone and see that I have lots of missed texts and calls from Shawn. I open the messages and read through them.
Shawn: Bella please answer my calls.
Shawn: I'm so sorry for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you.
Shawn: please come back. I need you.
Shawn: Bella I know you see my messages.
Shawn: Bella please. I messed up. I'm a stupid idiot for doing what I did and saying what I said. I can't stand knowing that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. You deserve better than that. Let me give you better. I want to be better and give you what you deserve. I want you to be mine. I want to hold you in my arms every day. I want to kiss those beautiful lips of yours every single day. I want to be able to tell people that I have the most amazing girl. You are the most amazing girl.
Shawn: words can't describe how I feel about you. So please, at least let me know that you are safe.
I look at these messages long and hard. I should at least let him know I'm safe.
Bella💗🙌🏽: I'm safe. I'm at a hotel so you don't have to worry about me. Bye.
Shawn: No please don't go.
Bella💗🙌🏽: Shawn I don't want to talk right now.
Shawn: when will you want to talk?
Bella💗🙌🏽: I don't know
Shawn: Well then I'll wait. As long as it takes.
I didn't respond to him. I couldn't. I didn't know what to say to him. It's probably best that I didn't respond.
I know what I have to do. I just need a little time to get over what happened.