Hellooo!
I'm sorry it took such a long time to write another chapter, I've been quite busy with school and stuff... So yeah.
Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to a dear friend of mine. Fran, thanks for keeping me writing. :)
I listened to 'Forever Young' (the one by One Direction) while writing this and I thnk it suited quite well, so that's why I added that song as a video. Make sure you check it out!
Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think!
~ Priscilla
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Everybody always says that life is hard, that it's a constant struggle with choices between what is good and what is easy. Everybody always says that death is peaceful, that it's easy – but it's not. In fact, it's just the other way around. Life had just always seemed to come to Fred naturally; he smiled when something went wrong, people smiled along with him and everything turned out just fine. Of course there were times when it hadn't been that easy, when even he and George had trouble finding a way out, but they'd always manage.
For example during the Second War, everyone was down and the twins saw the last bits of hope ooze away. The Boy Who Lived was nowhere to be seen and nobody knew what to do, except for waiting and watching as Voldemort turned their world into a terrible place. People disappeared, some died without a proper explanation, though of course everyone knew what had happened to them. Both Fred and George realised they had to do something, they were the jokers, they had to keep the hope alive. So they had started Potterwatch.
It had been a really good idea, Fred realised. They had fun while broadcasting and they made other people laugh again, real honest laughs, not the forced ones they had seen the weeks before. The feeling he got when he saw that people dared to hope again... That had been wonderful.
And now he missed that feeling.
He had felt happy and delighted when he was with George again, of course, but he didn't feel that everlasting carelessness he used to feel when he was still alive.
Still alive. Gosh, that sounded weird.
He knew he wasn't alive anymore, and not just because everyone had changed, had grown older, except for him. George had told him he still looked like his 20-year-old self, unchanged. He himself couldn't see how he looked, because when he looked into a mirror, he saw everything except for his own reflection. Yeah, crazy right? He joked about it, saying he must be some kind of vampire. Forever young, how great was that?
But deep inside, he was slightly scared. What was happening to him? Was he supposed to stay like this for the rest of his … Well, for the rest of forever?
To be honest, he wouldn't mind staying with George, if only that nasty scary feeling would go away. It was like a black hole was forming in him, like some big depressive cloud was slowly trying to destroy him from the inside out. And it scared him. It scared him to bits.
He wanted to feel normal again, to be happy and alive. Even though he knew that wasn't possible, even magic couldn't bring back the dead – If dead is what he was.
This was so annoying – more and more questions kept popping into Fred's head, but he couldn't find the answer to any of them. He was frustrated, which only made that black hole inside of him grow even bigger.
But he wouldn't show George how he felt. He wanted George to be happy, when he still could. And if that meant he had to hide part of his dead self, who cares? This was the only thing he could do for his brother, so he'd give it his everything.
“Don't you think this is kind of... childish?” George whispered.
“What? Hell no. Just open that door already, will ya?” Fred pointed at the closed blue-painted front door in front of them. A little door plate with 'Weasley family' hung next to it and the walls were covered in ivy, giving the place a homy look.
George searched his pocket for a moment and got out a tiny key. Looking around carefully, he opened the door. It made a ominous creaking sound as it swung open, which made Fred giggle.
“Shh!” George said. “Give me a moment.”
“They can't hear me, remember? I can yell whenever I feel like it, you're the one who needs to stay quiet.” Fred shrugged. He saw a bunch of flowers in a pot next to the door and admired them for a moment, they were bright red and yellow in the middle. Gryffindor, he thought, yet another thing he missed about being alive. He didn't think he'd ever say this, but he missed school. He missed the opportunity to learn new things, to actually achieve something. He missed the socializing with random students, the talks he and his friends used to have. Come to think about that, he wondered how Lee was doing. He hadn't seen him around. Note to self, Fred thought, ask George about Lee some time later. He stretched out his hand towards the flowers, trying to touch them. He couldn't, of course. A light breeze moved them slightly, but none of the flowers took any notice of his attempt to touch them. Instead his hand reached right through them. Maybe he was a ghost after all.
Stupid flowers, he thought.
“Ah, that's right. I knew that.” George said, chuckling. “But still, shut your cakehole. I can't concentrate if you're talking the entire time.” He stepped inside the house and pulled out his wand. “Homenum revelio.” He whispered. When nothing happened, he took another step inside and turned around, grinning.
“Well, good job, brother, you opened the front door. Proud now?” Fred teased him.
“Very proud, thank you very much.” George answered. “But still, I don't feel too good about this.”
“Technically, we're not even breaking in.” Fred comforted him. “I mean, they are the ones that gave you their house key, right?”
George nodded, a crooked smile appearing on his face.
“And apart from that, it's about time to annoy our little brother again, don't you think?”
“Little Won-won definitely deserves a little prank...” George agreed, nodding his head. “But then again, this is pretty childish, don't you think?”
“Childish?” Fred said, faking a shocked expression. “It's childlike, which is a good thing. And I don't know about you, but I'm still a teenager. I am allowed to do things like this.” He had to keep himself from pushing George playfully. He wouldn't feel it anyway.
George laughed, not even trying to keep quiet anymore. “If we look at it that way, I'm twice your age, I should be the adult here and stop you from doing stupid things, shouldn't I?”
“Probably.” Fred looked at him, his arms crossed. “Now, what are you gonna do?”
George raised his eyebrows and began walking down the hall. “D'you have any idea where dear Won-won keeps his buckets?”
Fred grinned. “You haven't changed a thing in all those years, you know that?”
A sad look overtook George's face for a moment. Stupid, Fred, stupid. Of course he had changed. Nineteen years without your twin and best friend (Fred definitely considered George his best friend, without a doubt) doesn't leave one unchanged. But he didn't want George to remember those lonely times, not now. He had to be happy, to feel young again. Forever young, that's what was the whole point of Fred's 'mission'.
“Well, walk on then, those buckets aren't going to find themselves!” he said.
George's mischievous smile returned. “I can't believe we're actually going to pull a muggle joke. Dad could learn a lot from us!”
A few hours later the twins were back in George's office, where they often sat lately, just to talk to each other.
“I still think we should've stayed at their house though, to see what happens.” Fred said.
“No way, if Hermione had seen us - “ George hesitated. “ I mean – if she had seen me, she would have chased me all the way to our parents house so mum could give me a Howler in personal.”
Fred nearly chocked laughing. “Unbelievable, you have kids and are in your thirties, and still you're afraid of mum.”
“Well, you'd be, too. She hasn't changed that much either, for that matter.” George shrugged.
“Now why doesn't that surprise me? I bet she still makes your sandwiches, am I right?”
“You are such an idiot!” George laughed, pretending to hit his brother.
Suddenly, Fred felt a childish sort of homesickness. He wanted to see his mum again. No, even worse, he wanted his mum to be able to see him, even if it was just to give him a Howler.
Fred suddenly remembered his earlier 'note to self'. “How's Lee doing, actually?” he asked.
George's face became serious again. “Oh... Lee...”
That surely isn't a good sign, Fred thought. He saw George was thinking hard. He always bit his lower lip when he was in deep thoughts, and that was exactly what he was doing right now.
“Georgie?”
“Yeah -” George looked up. “I – I haven't spoken to Lee in a long time.”
“How come?”
George turned a tad red. “Well, I might have kinda turned my back on a few people after the War. It was a very tough time for me, you see.”
Fred nodded. Of course he understood.
“Well, for weeks I didn't talk to anyone. And a year later, the only one that really got to me and was able to have a proper conversation with me, was...”
“Angelina.” Fred completed the sentence for him.
“Yes...” George said. “And I feel really bad for doing that. For letting everyone down. But it's not that big a deal, is it? Lee is better off without me anyway. And it isn't as if you'd be able to talk to him or something like that.”
“Why not?” Fred asked, surprised.
“Well, that's obvious, right? No one can see you. No one is supposed to see you.” George answered, as if it was the clearest thing in the world.
“But you could always try to give the stone to mum, or Ron. Maybe to Angelina –.”
“No.”
Fred was thunderstruck by George's direct answer. “What? George? Are you serious? Why not?”
“Because –.” George sighed, burying his face in his hands for a moment. “Because I can't lose you. Not again. I won't let them take you from me.”
Fred swallowed, thinking. He wanted people to see him, he wanted to be normal again. He didn't want to be trapped in this little world, no matter how glad he was to be with his brother. But he had to keep thinking of his mission, keep George happy, that was all that mattered right now.
“Please, Fred. Trust me, nobody can know about this, it would ruin everything. No one can know, not even Angelina.”
Fred sighed and frowned. A faint sound made him turn around quickly. The door of the office, that had been slightly ajar, opened slowly, revealing a person standing in the hall. A shocked face looked at them.
Angelina.