Carson^^
Carson's POV
He knows. Jay knows some of it, but it's a big part of everything. I mean he was bound to find out everything at one point. So why not make it now. I really wanted to make this...relationship work. We're mates and before that best friends and I wanted to keep it that way. If I lost him I don't know what I'd do.
"You're thinking too hard," Jay whispered in my ear causing me to shiver. His voice was husky from him sleeping which made it hotter. I nodded making him hum into my ear.
"What's on your mind mon amour?" He asked softly with that French nickname he'd started calling me. I didn't know what it meant, but I don't really care because it sounds heavenly rolling off of his tongue. My head dropped a bit before I buried it in the blanket next to me. Jay and I were spooning which wasn't a weird thing. The tingles I was getting from it was, however, a weird thing. Jay laughed a bit making me bury my head further into the blanket.
"You can talk to me, always." I understood that, but would he want to listen? Listen to the thoughts that run wild through my head daily. The things I think about doing to myself. All of the true words about myself that are horrible. Every depressing word uttered in my head. The questions constantly buzzing through my mind. The truths that only I know. The real reason I'm so happy about us being mates. After that would he look at me the same? Would he want to be around me? Would he want to be with me?
"Carson, calm down please." Jay's deep voice called from a distance. My breathing was picking up. I was turned onto my back as my breathing became shallow pants. Everything in the room started spinning; it was all making me dizzy. My eyes were focusing in and out of everything in the room. Nothing was clear anymore. Someone was calling for me but I couldn't hear it. Nothing was making sense anymore. It was getting hard for me to breath now; it felt like a ton of bricks was weighing down my chest. Tears were falling but I paid no mind. It was all too much; I couldn't focus, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think.
And then it all stopped.
Two lips were placed on mine.
Two hands were set in my hips.
Two eyes stared into mine.
It was just the two of us in this room. Everything else vanished into thin air. Nothing mattered except for us. We were the only people in the room and the only people who held any importance. This was us. This was our moment. And I wanted it to last forever.
Without my protest, my eyes slowly closed as I bathed in Jay's scent surrounding me. Hesitantly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down closer. My mate's lips started moving on mine as I followed the movements. His lips on mine were soft, comforting, they were sweet. Our kiss was simply PG, nothing more, nothing less. It calmed me down.
Jay pulled away to rest his forehead against mine. We were both breathing deeply as we stared into each other's eyes. My arms were still wrapped around his neck and his were still on my hips. No words were exchanged for minutes. We were both just enjoying each other's warm body pressed against our own.
"You were having a panic attack," Jay whispered after what seemed like hours. I could hear the sadness in his voice. This wasn't the first time I've had a panic attack in front of him. This was the first one in months though, and I was hoping they were over. I nodded against his head making him sigh. He's mad at me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered as tears gathered in my eyes. Wow, I'm such a baby. Jay's eyes quickly met mine as he stared at me in shock.
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault." He growled lightly as he removed a hand from my hip to wipe the tears out of my eyes. We moved around so I was laying on his chest and his arms were wrapped around my waist. My eyes were becoming heavy as I listened to the calm, steady, breaths of Jay.
"Sleep," was the last thing I heard before I let sleep pull me in.
~~
When I woke up it was pitch black outside and I was alone in Jay's bed. I grabbed my phone from off the nightstand and saw that it was 8:37 at night. Groaning, I rolled out of the bed which resulted in me landing on the ground with a painful 'thud'. After I untangled myself from the blankets I walked over to Jay's dresser to grab a shirt out. Mine was somewhere torn on the ground from this morning.
After I picked out a shirt I started walking downstairs. When I got downstairs everyone's attention was on me. A blush rose to my cheeks at all of the unwanted attention. Once I saw Miles and Will I sped walked over to them feeling everyone's attention on me.
"Hey," I greeted once I got up to them. Both of their attention was on me. Smiles grew on their faces and before I knew it someone had pulled me into a very strong hug.
"Sweetie, you found your mate." Miles sang into my ear. The blush on my cheeks darkened as I hugged him back. When we pulled away Will hugged me too.
"Congratulations," he whispered into my ear. I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my lips at both of them. Miles and I had always been really close and Will was like an add-on. The three of us were all extremely close. Miles and Will more so than others.
"Thanks," I whispered back to both of them once they were done hugging me. Will moved back to Miles's side as they stared at me curiously.
"What?" I questioned making them look at each other innocently. This isn't going to end well for me.
"How's your family with this?" Will asked quietly. My attention seemed unfocused for a moment as I thought about that question. My father had said he was okay with it, but his mate wasn't. I mean he would obviously choose my mother over me if he had to. They were mates, and they couldn't live without the other. Anyways who would pick their depressed son over their mate? Nobody.
"My father's fine with it and my mother...well she's not my mother anymore." I sighed. Will and Miles looked shocked and looked at me with pity in their eyes. We continued talking about random things before two strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist. I squealed at the sudden warmth making Jay, who was hugging me, laugh. My elbow made contact with his rib causing him to groan.
"Meanie," I grumbled at him. He seemed to shrug before burying his head in my neck. Both Miles and Will were watching us with stupid grins on their faces making me blush. The four of us talked some more before we were cut off by the Devil, aka my 'mother'.
"Fags," she scoffed making Jay stiffen. You could feel the tension in the room grow as the word came out of her mouth. I quickly wrapped my arms around Jay's as he tried to go attack her. Miles looked like he wasn't far behind. Jay struggled and pushed against me as he tried to reach my 'mother'.
"Jay! Calm down!" I growled out at him, but he heard none of it. Another wolf came to help me calm him down, and restrain him because he was breaking free of my hold. It took two wolves, and me, to finally get Jay to calm down. My dad came rushing into the room with the alpha by his side a moment later. They both looked extremely confused and concerned at the mess in the living room.
Jay was laying on the couch with me sitting on him and the entire living room was a disaster.
"Does someone want to explain to me what the hell just happened here?" The alpha growled out making everyone look down and away. Before anyone could speak my mate did.
"Someone called us an offensive name." He explained as he looked directly at my 'mother'. She looked unphased as she stood there with her head held high.
"That's it! Alayna go pack your things. You're moving in with your mother." My father growled out. A collective gasp was heard throughout the room before the alpha glared at everyone making them run out of the room. Alayna looked shocked as she fumbled over her words trying to get my father to change his mind.
"Sean-n rethink this. W-we're mates-" my father shook his head before sitting down on the love seat.
"You know the truth. Go pack your bags and then leave." He sighed. The alpha sat down next to him and glared at my 'mother'. Everyone was silent as she walked out of the room and out of the pack house.
"What truth dad?" I asked quietly. He looked up at me and just stared at me for minutes.
"Your mother and I met about 18 years ago; I was 22 and she had just turned 21. At that point, I had been so many places I figured I was mateless. It wasn't common but it was unheard of either." He started telling the story. Jay had moved us so I was sitting in his lap.
"We met through friends and I found her attractive and nice. So I just gave up looking for my mate and settled for her. Since she isn't my true mate I could never fully mate with her. Marking her was never an option. A few weeks ago when I left to go visit the River Springs pack I found my mate. True mate that is. We both realized quickly that we're mates and they were upset that I had started a family with someone else. When I told Alayna she got mad and started saying that I couldn't leave her, but I had to. Being away from my mate would end up killing me and your mother was just using me for power in the pack." My eyes were wide as I stared at my father.
"After she disowned you I started making plans for her to leave and my mate to come here. She was already going to have to leave after I found my mate but I didn't know when. My mate will be coming here tomorrow and Alayna will be gone tonight." He finished looking at me questionably. I was shocked, to say the least. First of all my parents weren't actually mates. Secondly, my father found his true mate. Third of all they're coming here tomorrow.
"Why'd you say 'they'?" I asked after a moment. My father looked shocked and confused as to why I asked that.
"Because...my mates a guy." Was his answer. The look on his face was weird. Like he thought I'd care. My answer was short and simple-
"Cool."
Comment
Vote
Add
Share